by Lauren Dane
“You mean back when you were fifteen? I know about that.” He kissed her forehead.
“No, back just about half an hour ago. Outside Tart’s back door.”
He froze and narrowed his gaze at Cal, who shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal to have laid a kiss on Gideon’s woman.
“Without your permission? Do I need to punch someone’s face?”
She laughed and he felt better. And then worse.
“Not against my will. He’s got issues, but he’s no rapist.”
“She’d cut my balls off if I tried.”
Gideon interrupted this little exchange, brushing his fingertips over her cheek. “Why are you upset?”
“I’m not prone to kissing other people when I’m in a relationship. It was icky of me. He caught me off guard. I did kiss him back for a few moments. I’m sorry.”
Cal cleared his throat. “Yes, we’re both sorry. But I want Jules, Gideon. I want her. I loved her first and I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”
“Oh my god, Calvin, shut up!” Jules’s spark came back and it made Gideon feel better.
“If she was breaking up with me, why is she snuggled into my side?”
Momentarily off balance, Cal tossed back, “You’re awfully calm for a man whose girlfriend just confessed to kissing someone else.”
“She kissed you back for a few moments in an alley. And then came over here to confess to me. I’m old enough to cut her a break. You on the other hand, I don’t know about. I’m on the fence between punching you and being magnanimous because I happen to see Jules’s appeal just as you do. I can afford to be the bigger man here because Jules is worth it.”
And as he’d thought, she snuggled into his side more. Oh, he’d known about the attraction between Cal and Jules. He’d seen it, heard others refer to it. He’d seen the way Cal watched her at dinner. But Jules was his.
None of this bullshit shenanigans in the alley was going to stop that from being true.
Cal sighed. “Jules knows I want to be with her. I believe Jules wants me too. I’m sorry it had to happen this way.”
“But she’s not with you, Cal, she’s with me. She came to me. Because I’m here. And I have been since day one.”
He caught Cal’s flinch and knew that arrow struck true.
“Hello?” She snapped her fingers. “If you two would like to continue this manly conversation without me, great. Otherwise, as I’m right here and all, let’s move on. Okay, Cal, you made your confession, now go.”
As Gideon had expected, Cal rolled his eyes and tossed himself into the chair across from the couch.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Why? Do you want to watch as I kiss her? Touch her?” Gideon slid a hand up her thigh and she slapped it.
“Don’t be an asshole.”
“I’m not.” He tipped his chin to Cal. “I’m trying to figure out what Cal’s bottom line is. What mine is for that matter. Or yours.”
She put her face in her hands. “Good lordamighty.”
“My bottom line is clear. I want Jules. I want to be with her. I’m sorry to do this because I know this is not what a friend does and it’ll undoubtedly impact or even ruin our friendship. But it’s Jules. Anyone else and I could be honorable. But . . .” Cal shrugged.
She looked at him and Gideon saw it there, the spark between them. But her hand remained in his.
He knew she’d choose him. They’d begun to put down roots and grow closer. He was in love with her. He knew this as well as he knew his own name. He knew her feelings for him were deepening.
But there was something between her and Cal. It would probably die as his relationship with Jules went along. But he saw on Cal’s features that it wouldn’t be over. That the kiss in the alley was his way of staking a claim. He’d never give up until he had her.
“I’m not a pork chop. You can’t walk in circles around me, growling.” Her voice held frustration, yes, but also amusement and maybe a little bit of curiosity. He could work with that.
Gideon laughed, surprised. He kissed her. At first it was meant to be reassuring. But it deepened and she opened against him. He tasted her and the rightness of it sang through his system. But there was Cal too, that subtle taste and he sucked her tongue into his mouth and she groaned, clutching his biceps.
Cal’s attention on her, on them, was so sharp Gideon felt it.
“As it happens, I also want Jules. I’ve said this already.” He licked his lips and she pushed to stand.
“What it is you want, Jules? Hm?” Gideon watched her carefully. He knew from experience what a terrible poker player she’d be. Everything she felt broadcast all over her face and in her body language.
Right then she was annoyed, which amused him though he took care not to let that show. “Do you think I’d have come over here this way if I wasn’t with you? If I didn’t want to be with you?”
Gideon shook his head. “No, which is why I’m not feeling entirely angry or jealous right now. Because I can see it, Jules. I can see the spark, that connection you and Cal share. I’ve known you both a long time, but I’ve been friends with Cal just as long as you have. He’s not going to let go or give up. And I can’t say I’m interested in even the idea of letting you go. I’m in love with you, Jules, and that’s that.”
Her lips curved up as her emotions softened. “You are?”
“Hell yes. But the thing is the problem is still there. He’s still going to want you. You’re still going to want him. And you’re friends. Close friends so you’ll see each other and it’ll be there. Between us all.”
He sat back and put his ankle on his opposite knee and tapped a forefinger on his leg, thinking.
“What are you up to?” Jules, being her usual self. It made him laugh.
“You’re a very suspicious woman.”
Cal snorted.
“You like cock, don’t you, Cal?”
She froze in place, her eyes widening at his question.
“I do. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want Jules, or that I can’t give her my whole self. I like cock, but I like cunt just as well. And that one”—Cal tipped his chin toward Jules—“well, I don’t need anything else if that’s what’s waiting for me every day when I get home from work.”
Her brows flew up and Gideon knew they needed to tread carefully. “Shall I box it up for you? Gideon can have my tits. Cal can have my pussy and you can take them out and pet them every night and everyone can be happy to have a piece of Jules. Don’t bother, you know, consulting me about it or anything.”
Cal got up and moved to her, his gaze darting back to Gideon, who allowed it for the time being. Hell, Jules might kick or punch Cal, which would be interesting too.
Cal addressed her. “I know you’re worried about that. It’s best to just get it out in the open. It’s not about a preference for cock or pussy. It’s about the person. It’s about you. You’re all I want or need.”
“What I propose,” Gideon interrupted, “is that you come into our relationship.”
“What?” They both asked this, in unison.
“Rather than fear it being torn apart, which is what I think will happen. Things can’t be the same now. Why not invite him in? To share. Unless you’re opposed.” He spoke directly to Jules because this whole thing was up to her.
“I . . . I don’t know what to say.” She hadn’t rejected it out of hand though, Gideon could tell that much.
Cal raised a brow in her direction and then over her shoulder at Gideon, who stood just beyond.
“As it happens, I like cock too.”
Cal threw his hands up in the air and Jules grabbed her bag. “Nice one,” Cal hissed as he followed her out the door.
Confused, Gideon got up and went after both of them. He didn’t have to go far; she’d walked down from the main house so she hadn’t made much progress.
“Wait, why are you leaving?”
She spun. “I can’t do this. I . . . I can’t always won
der if he’s in it for me, or for you. Or if you are. I just . . .” She tried to keep walking but Gideon moved in front of her, taking her arms.
Cal moved him over. “Baby, it’s you. Always and only you. He’s trying to make you happy. In all the years I’ve known him nothing sexual or romantic has ever happened. Nor have I wanted it to.”
Fuck. Now Gideon got it. “He’s right. Stop thinking, even for a moment, that if it was a choice I’d do anything but choose you. What I’m proposing is that we share you. I look at Erin, Todd and Ben and I think I’d prefer that to anything else. I want to be with you and if that means sharing you with Cal, I’m willing to try it. And yes, in the interests of full disclosure, I enjoy men.”
“I have to think.” She stepped back.
He was fucking things up, damn it. “Don’t go. Forget I said anything.”
She tiptoed up to kiss him. “It’s more than that. It’s this whole night. It’s the way I felt when you kissed me in front of him. It’s the way I felt when you made the offer and said you liked men. It’s all a jumble and I need some space to think. Please, just back off, both of you, and give me some space.”
Gideon reached for her but she stepped back. “Let me drive you home.”
She heaved a sigh. “So glad you both listen so well.” She pushed past Cal and kept walking as they both watched her walk away.
“Jules, it’s your choice. I’m here either way,” Gideon called out.
She kept walking.
“Nice going, dickhead.” Cal stomped past him as he continued to watch her walk away.
10
Cal couldn’t believe the way his life had turned in the course of just a few weeks. He riffled through Gideon’s kitchen until he found a bottle of good scotch. If he smoked, he’d probably have lit one up too.
When he’d gotten up that morning it had been after a night of going back and forth about what to do. He’d gone to Tart full of resolve to win her but he hadn’t expected anything that had happened after the kiss.
Gideon came back inside fifteen minutes later. “I watched her until she got to her car.”
“What the fuck did you do?” Cal turned slowly, holding the tumbler of scotch so his hands wouldn’t shake.
“Me? What the fuck did you do? You kissed my girlfriend, asshole.”
Well, put that way . . . “Yes, but she’s not yours. She was mine long before you blew back into town and stole her.”
Gideon’s brows flew up. “I stole her? Really now? From who? You? A guy who could have had her for years but couldn’t be bothered to make a move until someone else treasured what you took for granted? I didn’t need to steal her. You neglected her. I saw what a wonderful woman she is. Don’t cry about it now.”
“You pushed her button, dumbass.”
“What? You should be grateful I’m not punching your teeth down your throat. She and I have been dating for nearly a month. What the hell possessed you to pull this shit now?”
Cal sighed. “Okay, so yes, I probably should be grateful you didn’t punch me. But that whole bit about liking cock pushed her away.”
“I had no idea it was an issue. It’s an issue you gave her, Cal. So you laid a kiss on my woman, came into my house and when I saw what was up I tossed out a solution. Again I’m asking you, why now?”
“I’ve loved Jules a long time. So long I guess I just took it for granted that when I was finally ready to stop lying to myself she’d be there. But I was too slow. I tried to let it go. I know you make her happy. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t just let her go without trying. I sure as hell wasn’t expecting you to propose a three-way.”
Gideon pushed past Cal and poured himself some scotch. “Yeah, well, look. I’m not an idiot. I know she’d have chosen me over you. She did that by coming over here and that makes it easier for me. I can’t lie to myself or to her. I see how you look at her. I see how she looks at you. You two have something deep and I know you well enough to understand you’re not going to just walk away. I don’t want to put her in a position of always having to make choices.”
Cal scrubbed his hand over his face. He’d made a choice, one he didn’t regret in the big picture, but he’d done it without really thinking about Gideon and how much he loved Jules too. Oh, he got it on one level. How could you not love Jules?
He sighed. “I’m sorry for springing it on you. I can’t regret kissing her and making it clear I’m going to fight for her. But this outcome has hurt her and you. I do regret that part.”
“I need to go after her.”
Cal leaned back against the counter, watching Gideon pace. Goddamn, the man was beautiful.
“Let her be for a while. She has to process.”
“I don’t want her thinking I proposed the idea of a threesome as a way to get at your cock. Why don’t you tell me why she’d think that, Cal?”
“I didn’t realize the extent of it until earlier today. I own it. I think part of her believes I’d only truly be happy with a man. I tried to explain to her it wasn’t like that. And it isn’t. Cock, cunt, whatever. It’s about the person I’m with. For me, it’s been Juliet and because I waited so long she has doubts. And then you went and phrased it that way and it pushed her buttons.”
Cal levered away from the counter and began to pace. “I didn’t mean for any of this to spin so totally out of control. I don’t want to hurt her. Or you for that matter.” He paused, turning to face Gideon. “Did you mean it? About the threesome, I mean.”
Gideon looked Cal up and down, torn between wanting to punch him and wanting to comfort him. The need to run after Jules drove him, but he also knew Cal was right about giving her some space.
“Yes. She wants you. You want her. I’m not letting go of her, but I don’t relish her being in between us when you won’t stop fighting for her. It’s not what I’d imagined with her. But . . . it’s not something I hate either. In fact, well, she’s not the only one sexually attracted to you. You and I have been friends as long as she and I have been. It could work. I’m not an expert, but I know it’ll take a lot of work to get it right. We’d have to go step by step. I just think it’s a way forward. I look at Ben, Todd and Erin and I know they have something special. What about you?”
Cal sucked in a breath. “I don’t want her to doubt me. Do you understand that? I made a mess of this whole thing, I know. But it would break my heart to think she didn’t believe my commitment to her. You’re hot as fuck, I’m not denying that.”
Gideon’s heart sped a moment.
“If we do this, we need to let her make the choices and take the steps.”
Gideon nodded. “I agree. I’ll hold off on the punching for the time being. For now, let’s focus on how to get her back.”
• • •
“What’s going on?” Gillian walked in to Tart four days later with a look on her face that made Jules suck in a breath and steel herself.
“Um. A clue perhaps? What do you mean?”
Gillian put a hand on her hip and glared. “You won’t return my calls. Your texts are boring and lack even a basic amount of snark. Cal is moping around. Mary says you’re not here when she arrives in the afternoon and Gideon called my house looking for you. What in God’s name is going on?”
Jules sat in a nearby chair and told Gillian everything.
“Well, I can see why you needed the space to think. But why you wouldn’t come to me to let me help, I can’t imagine.”
“You have enough going on in your life. This is just . . . it’s . . . I don’t even know.”
“Don’t be daft. Enough going on. Sure, a wedding and a bossy fiancé and a teenaged son who is at turns sweet as pudding and then surly. But you’re my best friend, it’s my job to listen to you. Also, really to deny me the story of how two ridiculously gorgeous men offered to share you? Mean.” She fanned herself. “Well, are you interested? You know, in both?”
“The thing is—and I’ve been thinking on this nonstop since that damned kiss—I’m with
Gideon. I chose him when I went to his place to tell him about the kiss. But then he was all, hey, take us both and now I’m torn.”
“Torn because you’d rather have just one than both? And if that’s true, that’s okay too, you know. I’m not sure I could manage two men at once. Adrian gives me more than enough to do.”
Jules wiped a counter down to keep moving. “Do I want them? Individually? Sure. Look at them! It’s more than their looks, of course. I’m falling in love with Gideon in a big way and I’d be a liar, liar, pants on fire if I denied how long I’ve loved Cal. But together? At the same time? I don’t know.”
“Is it the overabundance of penis? Or worry that they’re not interested in your parts best?”
Jules laughed and then hugged Gillian tight. “Thank God for you.”
“I say this about you all the time.”
Jules was so glad Gillian had come in. She needed this so badly. Needed the support and honesty she got from her best friend.
“Gideon loves you. I admit that I’ve got a natural bias toward Cal. I’ve known him longest. He’s like family. But since I’ve met Gideon he’s been nothing but good to you. And you do deserve to be happy. If you can’t imagine being with them both, then don’t do it. Cal will get over it. He’ll have to.”
“What kind of flesh-and-blood woman with a pulse wouldn’t imagine being with them both? I’m only human, Gillian. I’ve imagined it all right.” So much her wrists hurt from masturbating so often.
Gillian grinned and cocked her head. “Have you thought about talking to Erin? I know she can be sort of bold and wild, but she’s a wonderful listener. She puts a lot of work into her relationship with Todd and Ben. It can work if you do it right and you have the right combo of people.”
“Honestly if you were telling me this story, I’d yell at you to get out of here and jump both men. You’re very patient.”
“You love them both. I know this about you. You’re thinking this over because it would change everything. No matter what decision you make, everything will be different. There’s no way around it, I’m sorry to say. Once Cal kissed you, things were thrown onto a wholly different path.”