Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: Crafting Alliances: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

by Cube Kid

  "It could be another player," Elisa said. "Maybe using some kind of hack."

  "Maybe … but if that’s the case, we’re talking extensive skin hacks here! I mean, what’s up with the villager girls having long hair and small noses?!" He looked up to the sky. "What is this place?!"

  "This is Minecraftia," Max said, approaching. "It’s not a game. And we are not NPCs."

  Stump stepped out from behind Max. "We will treat you with respect," he said, "but you must do the same. Got it?"

  Kolbert nodded weakly.

  "Well, good, then." Stump held out a cake. "Want a slice? Just made it."

  And so this was the first step—one of many—toward getting the humans off our backs. At the end of the day, all five members of Team Runt went down to Snark’s Tavern.

  While we drank our tea, Breeze told me why she hadn’t been in school last week.

  "I was grounded," she said. "My father was really angry at me for joining the battle on Saturday. He said I shouldn’t have risked my life like that … "

  "Well, I owe you a big thanks," I said, "for that battle and today’s. And … I’m super sorry for ignoring you before. Even if you really were the biggest noob, I’d still be your friend. Welcome to Team Runt "

  She smiled. "Thanks."

  "By the way," I said, "today, when you beat up Kolbert,

  I didn’t see you drinking any potions."

  "Whatever. Let’s have a feast, huh?"

  The five of us ate and chatted for hours.

  The way we joked around, it was as if the angry teachers,

  the mob attacks, the rude humans,

  and the constant threat of Herobrine …

  it was as if all that wasn’t

  actually happening.

  Oh, no.

  Not this dream again.

  What’s up with that redstone machine, anyway?

  Wait. What’s an enderman doing in this dream?

  "I … h-help you."

  What? How can you help me?

  "Another useless dream. Just your … fear."

  I suppose you’re controlling my dreams somehow? Endermen can do that?

  "Oh, yes. Wait. Give you … g-good dream."

  What’s your name, anyway?

  You can’t just ignore me forever, y’know! What, you are afraid of the Nether? The pigmen don’t bite! Unless you bite them first … Say, tell ya what. You help me, and I’ll tell ya where the secret treasure room is. I know where it is! I saw it! That’ll serve ’em for abandoning me here … Besides, there’s this kitten you really need to meet.

  "By the way, you’d better wake up right now. Trust me on this one."

  I woke up from the nightmare and climbed out of bed. When I looked out the window, the sky was bright red. Deep laughter echoed overhead. It was not unlike thunder.

  Was I still dreaming?

  "Dear?" My mom was in the living room, looking out the window. "What is that?"

  "I don’t know," I murmured.

  I left my house after giving Mom a worried glance. It had to have been night still, or at least before sunrise, yet the red sky was so bright that it cast a fiery glow brighter than a full moon.

  When I made my way to the fountain, I spotted Max. "What is this?"

  He shrugged. Of course, there was no way he could explain what was going on. The deep laughter continued overhead as more and more villagers gathered at the square. Members of the Legion showed up as well. Kolbert looked more terrified than we were.

  "Um … I’m guessing this isn’t good," he said.

  "Yeah," Emerald said. "I have to say, you guys kinda came at a really bad time."

  "Stay calm, everyone!" The mayor weaved through the crowd and stood at the base of the fountain. "Go back inside! Seek shelter immediately!"

  But everyone was staring at the sky. There was an eerie ringing sound, almost inaudible. More and more people, villagers and humans alike, moved closer to one another.

  Mia and Mary embraced, their robes fanciful, their faces mournful.

  "I’m gonna miss you, my BFF … "

  "Hey! Don‘t talk like that, okay?! We’re gonna be fine!!"

  Moments later, Elisa tapped Kolbert on the shoulder. "You know, it’s probably him."

  The captain drew his sword. "Yeah, you’re right. Man, he just won’t leave us alone!"

  "Who are you guys talking about?" Emerald asked.

  "Herobrine, who else?"

  "What? You mean he’s attacked you before?!"

  "Well, yeah. That’s one of the reasons we’re here."

  Emerald approached him until she stood nose-to-nose with the captain. "Y’know, you might have warned us about that before we let you into our village!" She paused. "Wait. Where were you guys staying before?"

  "Oh, well, we built a castle," Kolbert said.

  "And what happened to it?"

  "Well, um, basically … it was utterly destroyed."

  Emerald grabbed him by the collar of his undershirt. "You … "

  "D-don’t worry!" Kolbert said. "Surely the same thing won’t happen here! Your village is much, much bigger!"

  Emerald sighed and pushed him away. "Jerk." Then she joined the rest of Team Runt. All five of us drew closer. Together, we gazed at the red sky.

  Soon, a figure could be seen up there. It soared just below the clouds. More and more people noticed.

  "Look!"

  "Up there!"

  "It’s … a human!"

  Then this person landed near the fountain. Indeed, it was a human. Or human-ish. An aura of godlike power emanated from him.

  Even the toughest-looking Legion members—in full iron armor, enchanted, with enchanted diamond swords—cowered in fear.

  It was the man I’d seen before in a dream. It was the most powerful wizard in this world, perhaps the very last. It was the wizard who went by the name of …

  "Herobrine!!"

  "It’s Herobrine!!"

  As some villagers turned to run, Herobrine raised a hand. A chain of bluish-purple lightning leaped from his fingertips and arced through the crowd. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even speak. I slumped to one knee, totally weak. Everyone seemed to be affected in this way.

  Then Herobrine’s voice swept through the square:

  "No matter how many mobs I send,

  you just … won’t … die!!"

  This time, waves of red lightning flew from his hands and zapped everyone in the crowd.

  I watched my health bar inch its way down. So Herobrine came to take care of us himself. Maybe it’s because humans and villagers began cooperating.

  Maybe that scared him.

  I was barely able to turn my head to see Breeze, Brio, Drill, Stump, Max, or Kolbert … they were all in a similar condition. Herobrine raised his hand again, which would no doubt finish most of us off.

  Just then,

  another person

  landed behind him—

  fwump!

  Like Herobrine, he had a powerful aura. Unlike Herobrine, however, there was something good about him, something peaceful and kind.

  There was no doubt in my mind. It was Notch.

  Herobrine whirled around. "It’s been a while, old man. You’ve been spending way too much time on Earth."

  Notch stepped forward. "Herobrine, you will stop this madness at once!"

  "I’m afraid that’s no longer possible," Herobrine said." This is beyond my control now."

  "So it’s true? This world really is … " Notch looked down at his outstretched palms. "Tell me; how did you do it?"

  "Even if I explained, you wouldn’t understand."

  "And why not?"

  Herobrine turned away. "You always were one step behind …
"

  "Enough." Notch drew his sword—obsidian. "I don’t know what you’ve done, but this will soon come to an end!"

  There was a metallic whine as Herobrine drew his own sword, made of a metal I didn’t recognize.

  A thin smirk spread across his face.

  "I’m not so sure of that."

  When you looked at the two wizards facing off, all you could imagine was the most epic battle of all time. After all, if someone were to refer to them as the gods of this world, well … it wouldn’t be an exaggeration.

  Humans and villagers alike simply stood there in awe.

  "Why do I get the feeling we’re going to be repairing the village for weeks after this?" Emerald whispered.

  How strange. I had that same feeling.

  But the two wizards didn’t fight. Not for very long, anyway. And at first they just kept talking.

  "Put your sword away," Herobrine said.

  "We might be at war, but we’re still gentlemen."

  "That’s funny, coming from you!" Notch said. "How many villages have you destroyed so far?"

  "Only a few." Herobrine glanced around at the buildings. "I must say: they could have learned from these guys. At least they have walls."

  At this, Notch growled and swung his sword. And that was it. The battle was on. Obsidian met glowing red metal. Sparks flew from Herobrine’s blade.

  By the way, these kinds of weapons were common ages ago. In ancient times, the mobs were a lot stronger, different from what we see now. You needed weapons like that just to fight some of them. Anything less and you didn’t stand a chance. If we had weapons like that, we could cut through zombies like shears through cobwebs. Sadly, the crafting recipes have long since been forgotten …

  "I believe Herobrine’s sword is elemental in nature," Max said. "Lava is one of the ingredients."

  "Can we make one?" I asked.

  "I doubt it. We’d need a special crafting table."

  Special crafting table? That was the first time I’d heard about something like that. But now was not the time for a crafting discussion.

  Their blades clashed over and over again. At one point, Herobrine hurled a green fireball, which Notch deflected with his blade as one would deflect a ghast’s.

  "I see you’ve grown stronger," Notch said. "Or maybe you’ve become soft." Their blades met once more. Their faces were inches apart. Herobrine smiled. "Yes, I think you’ve been spending way too much time on Earth!"

  "Say what you want!" Notch said. "You won’t be speaking much longer!"

  "No, I’m afraid it is you who won’t be speaking. I tire of this."

  Suddenly, Herobrine stepped back, and pink lightning flew out from his free hand.

  It zapped Notch … and the wizard became … a black rabbit.

  For a moment, it was as if time itself had stopped. At least for me. I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing. One of the greatest wizards of all time—a legendary hero—defeated, just like that.

  We’d learned in school that Notch was the only one capable of stopping this madman. The only one powerful enough. But Herobrine had turned him into a helpless animal with no effort at all. Which meant … this war was over.

  We were history.

  Behind me, a girl screamed. There were a few gasps here and there. The humans talked excitedly among themselves:

  "He … polymorphed Notch?!"

  "Was that some kind of admin command?"

  "So, like, we have to fight him ourselves or something?"

  "A boss battle?! I’m in!!"

  "I wonder how much life he has … "

  "Who cares?! Imagine the experience!!"

  "And the loot! I hope he drops that sword … !!"

  There were a lot of comments like these. It seemed most of the humans had no idea how much danger they were in … It was almost as if they were expecting Herobrine to say,

  "Just kidding! Trolled ya!

  This is a new version of the game!

  The latest in virtual reality! Pretty amazing, right?"

  Herobrine picked up the rabbit and stroked its neck. He did so with a slight grin. He was obviously proud of his work. When he turned to the crowd, you couldn’t help but stare into his glowing white eyes …

  "People of Earth," he said, his voice impossibly loud, "welcome … to Minecraftia. Please understand: I’m not the one who brought you here. Thank him for that." He looked down at his new pet. "He summoned you in one last, pathetic attempt to stop me."

  The mayor emerged from the crowd. "If I may ask … why did you come here?"

  "I came to make an offer. For the humans, I’m willing to send you all back. You will return to Earth, safe and sound, with almost no memory of this world. You will wake up thinking that this was all … just a dream. As for the villagers, your lives will be spared. You’ll be able to go on farming and building, just like you always have. Of course, in return, you must do something for me."

  Kolbert, the leader of the humans, joined the mayor up front.

  "Forget it! " He drew his sword. "The Legion does not negotiate with boss monsters! You are a walking pile of experience orbs to us! Nothing more!"

  Herobrine chuckled. "Oh? You must think you’re still in his little game. How sad. He never told you anything, did he?"

  Kolbert opened his mouth again.

  But before he replied, Brio’s men grabbed him.

  "What is this?!" the knight shouted. "The players should be making the decisions!! Not you NPCs!!"

  "Forgive this human!" the mayor said. "He’s a bit confused, you see. Anyway, we’re willing to cooperate! What do you want from us?!"

  A lot of people, both humans and villagers, gave the mayor a confused look. I was one of them.

  There was a long silence. Herobrine’s gaze swept across the crowd. Then a banner appeared in his other hand. It was white with a strange black symbol in the middle. Herobrine tossed it onto the street.

  "I … want you to surrender."

  Surrender.

  It took a second for me to understand what he just said. Everyone around me was equally shocked. Breeze moved closer to me. Even she was scared. Although Herobrine didn’t smile, I somehow knew that he was enjoying watching us squirm.

  "Place this banner in a visible location," he said, "and my mobs will not harm you. Some will live in your village. You will supply them with the materials they need. In addition, you will help them improve their farming and building techniques."

  "And how do we know you’ll keep your word?" the mayor asked.

  "You can ask Urf. I’ll tell him to pay a little visit. As a general in my army, he has everything he’s ever wanted. Power. Money. Respect. All these things can be yours as well, if you just kneel before me … and accept me as your king. You have two weeks to decide. That is when my main army will arrive at your gates. If they do not see that banner, believe me when I say that there will be nothing left of this place—and nothing left of you."

  The more he talked, the quieter we became. But there were still a few whispers here and there.

  "Urf!"

  "That traitor!"

  "So he’s some kind of boss monster, now?"

  So Herobrine wanted us to give up. Not only that, he wanted us to join him?! It was unimaginable. Humans and villagers working with mobs. Kolbert was right—how could we do such a thing? How could the mayor agree? But then, the mayor was only looking out for us. He would do anything he could to protect us. Even if that meant …

  No!

  We can’t do that!

  I pushed to the front and shouted:

  "If you’re asking for our help, that means you’re afraid of the villages to the west! Some of them are even bigger than this one! You’ve realized you haven’t been able to defea
t us, and you’ll have an even harder time dropping them!"

  I honestly don’t know what came over me. When I said all that, I … felt like a different person. Someone strong and brave.

  This seemed to get Herobrine’s attention. He stared at me. He seemed to be thinking about something.

  "How interesting," he said. "Tell me: who are you?"

  "I am Runt Ironfurnace," I said.

  "And I’m asking you to surrender."

  Yeah. I actually said that. Seriously, what was I thinking? I wasn’t thinking, I guess—just angry.

  "Shut up! Shut up!" The mayor said this through clenched teeth.

  Herobrine made the most ridiculous face. Imagine a creeper smiling as if it had just heard that cats had become extinct—it was something like that. Then he laughed so hard that if he really had been a creeper, he probably would have exploded. But then the laughter abruptly stopped. His smile faded, replaced by an expression of extreme irritation, as if the street beneath his feet was made of slime blocks instead of cobblestone.

  "You will join me!" he cried. "You will help me restore this world to its—"

  The rabbit jumped out of Herobrine’s arms. Then it began shaking on the ground until a puff of smoke obscured it. The smoke faded, revealing a very angry Notch.

  "Don’t listen to him!" he shouted. "If he ruled the Overworld, it would make the Nether look like a mushroom island!"

  Herobrine glared at him. "How did you break out of my spell?!"

  But Notch was no longer in the mood for conversation. There was a sharp ringing sound as their blades met once more. This time, Notch moved with the strength of an iron golem and the speed of a mine cart on powered rails.

  Herobrine struggled to keep up. He dashed back. "No matter what you do, you can’t stop me! In two weeks, unless they join me, this place will be in ruins! The west will crumble next!"