Wanted: A Real Family

by Karen Rose Smith

  Offering her his hand to help her down into the pool, he said, “Be careful. The rocks can be slippery.”

  They were, but she was careful and soon she was sitting on the ledge. From a rocky shelf, Jase picked up two bottles of water, uncapped them and offered her one. Maybe he was just trying to put her more at ease, but she took one, drank a few long swallows, then set it back on the shelf.

  The water surrounding them was deliciously warm. It swirled around them as if propelled by jets.

  “Why did you decide to come up here with me today?” Jase suddenly asked.

  She hadn’t expected that question. But as he’d noticed, she had trouble hiding her feelings. She told him honestly, “I ran into someone at the festival from my old life.”

  “By ‘old life,’ you mean before your husband died?”

  “Yes. It was his store’s accountant.”

  After a brief pause, Jase guessed, “And he told you he tried to warn your husband about his financial trouble.”

  Jase had been around long enough to realize how life worked. “Yes. He told me Conrad tried to do his best with the store, but he just couldn’t make the business grow.”

  “You said your husband was older than you.”

  “About fifteen years older.”

  “Why were you attracted to someone older?”

  “Jase, I didn’t come here tonight to talk about Conrad.”

  “No, but you said you wanted to get to know me and I want to get to know you. Were you madly attracted to him?”

  Her breath caught as she thought about the feelings she’d once had for Conrad, and how they compared to her growing feelings for Jase. “No, it wasn’t like that. I mean, yes, I was attracted to him, but in a quiet way. I’d lost my parents and I had no family. Conrad had no family, either. We met near the holidays and we started talking about feeling lonely. Suddenly we were spending Christmas together.”

  “So he represented safety and stability you didn’t have.”

  Hadn’t she come to that conclusion herself? “I guess you could say that. Do you mind if I ask you about your fiancée?”

  “Tit for tat?”

  “No, just curious. Do you still think about her? Do you wonder what would have happened if you hadn’t been injured?”

  “I’d say that was true up until about a year ago.”

  “What happened then?”

  “One of our wines won an award. I realized I’d been instrumental in helping make that happen. Not only as far as the mix of grapes, but a new, more organic process, and marketing it to the right restaurants. That night I started looking ahead rather than back.”

  “That’s what I want to do.”

  As Jase studied her, she felt he was trying to read her deeper than anybody had ever read her before. He must have seen what he was looking for because he moved closer, dropped his arm around her shoulders and bent his head to kiss her.

  The first press of his lips on hers was light and tentative. He was waiting for her signal of acceptance.

  Warm water lapped at her midriff as she leaned into him, needing to feel his skin against hers. That was all the encouragement he obviously needed, because as she parted her lips, he thrust inside, kissing her in a way he hadn’t before. Somehow it was more sensual, more seductive, more everything. Heat and water and a private world curled around them, insulating and protecting them against outside forces. There were no responsibilities, no consequences, no regrets. Just her and Jase in an untouched world.

  When he broke the kiss, he didn’t move away. She’d clipped her hair on top of her head and he nuzzled her neck, tongued her earlobe, making her altogether restless and wanting. As his hands slid to the back of her top, she knew exactly what he was doing. She knew exactly what she was doing.

  He unhooked it to let it flow to the side of the pool. Then he lifted her chin to his, gazed into her eyes and touched her breast. It was so erotic looking at him that way while he trailed his fingers around and around, pressed his palm into her and then fingered her nipple. She moaned and he laughed, and any vestige of restraint dropped away.

  As he kissed her again, still giving attention to her breast, she wondered how she could feel this much passion and this much need. Where had these feelings been all her life? Why hadn’t sensual need ever been a priority before? When she was with Jase, all she thought about was being close to him, touching him, kissing him.

  He slid his hand under her and scooped her up onto his lap. He was obviously aroused and she felt lost in the moment rather than in what came next. One hand held her to him while the other edged the fabric of her bikini bottom and tugged it down.

  “Jase.”

  “You’re safe,” he murmured. “Relax and trust me.”

  This moment was everything. His fingers trailed down her backside, making a path up her thigh, putting her in an erotic trance. He still kissed her and touched her and brought pleasure everywhere. She found herself paralyzed to do anything but enjoy his next caress, his next kiss, his next touch. His thumb became an instrument of pleasure as he circled, teased, titillated.

  She ran her hands over his chest and curled her fingers into his shoulders. He was escalating the tension in her body, making all of her muscles wind tight, expecting some kind of release. The headiness of what they were doing almost made her dizzy. Her breath came faster, and finally he touched her where she wanted to be touched most. He wasn’t filling her, but he was—

  The orgasm hit her, surprising her, exciting her, carrying her to the edges of sublime, until all she could do was hold on to Jase, hoping she didn’t come apart in his arms. She tried to catch her breath and as she gazed into his eyes, she felt more vulnerable than she’d ever felt before. But she was fine with it. Soon she came to her senses, floating back down to reality.

  “What about you? Don’t you—”

  His voice was low and as steamy as the hot springs pool. “I liked watching you. Besides, protection would be a little dicey in here.”

  Reflexively, she glanced over to the blanket.

  But he caressed her cheek. “There’s time, Sara. We were discussing the past tonight. I think we’ll both know when we’re ready to move beyond that.”

  When he kissed her again, she knew she wanted to move beyond that now. Because she was falling in love with Jase Cramer whether she wanted to or not.

  Chapter Ten

  As Jase drove Sara back to the cottage, he thought about the past couple of hours, especially their time in the hot springs pool. He’d come here today fully intending to have sex with her. After all, hadn’t she given him the message that she was ready?

  However, he found himself putting the brakes on for a couple of reasons. Whether she knew it or not, she was vulnerable. Yes, it had been more than a year since her husband had died, and maybe she was ready to move on from her marriage. On the other hand, she’d just gone through another traumatic event: the fire. She herself had said she’d felt alone after her parents had died and she’d turned to Conrad for that reason. He didn’t want her turning to him for that reason.

  Jase didn’t want a woman to turn to him for any reason other than for himself. If that was selfish, so be it. But one failed engagement was enough to make him cautious.

  They’d made out in the pool after he’d pleasured her. They’d enjoyed strawberries with cheese and bread along with their water, and he could have easily pleasured them both this time. But after her reaction to his touch, after the almost innocent look in her eyes, he’d felt unsettled...turmoiled...in a way he’d never been before. Maybe he hadn’t given in to lust because he was concerned he’d be vulnerable, too.

  He was glad they couldn’t talk easily above the noise of the four-wheeler’s engine on the drive back, but as they neared the cottage, he slowed. He didn’t want to just drop her off and w
ave, and that would be it.

  So he said, “Let’s park this in the shed and I’ll walk you over.”

  The sun was setting now and in the shadows he wasn’t sure what he saw on Sara’s face. Eagerness to spend more time with him? Or simply joy in returning to her daughter? A child was involved in all of this, so he couldn’t make a mistake.

  He parked in one of the outbuildings beside a hydraulic auger. After he switched off the ignition, they both climbed out.

  He swung his arm around her shoulders. “Do you think Amy’s in bed yet?”

  “That depends. She might have conned Marissa into a game or two past her bedtime. Jordan could still be toddling around, too. Marissa said he could fall asleep anywhere, but when two kids get together...” She let her voice trail off, the implication clear. “Don’t you want to take the cooler and the blankets?”

  “I’ll get them later. I usually do a final check of the winery just to make sure everything’s secure for the night.”

  Outside, with the night air cooling, she waved her hand at the vineyard. “Being general manager means you’re the overseer, doesn’t it? Your dad’s handed that responsibility down to you.”

  “I don’t know about handed down. He could take over again if he needed to, or hire someone else to do it.”

  “I doubt he wants to do that. You’re his heir.”

  Jase stared out over the trellises, farther than the eye could see. Maybe it was time to come clean with Sara, to tell her the type of childhood he’d had before he’d come here.

  “My father never tells anyone where I really came from.”

  Shadows played on her face as she responded, “I don’t understand. You said he adopted you from the foster care system.”

  “Yes, he did. I was orphaned at age six and shuffled there from foster home to foster home until I moved in here at twelve. But the real truth is, my mother led a seedy life. She didn’t know who my dad was and she died of a drug overdose.”

  Sara’s reaction was immediate. “Jase, I’m so sorry.”

  “My father likes to brush that part of my history under the rug.”

  “Maybe he doesn’t bring it up because he thinks it’s painful for you.”

  Had Jase even considered that?

  “Could it be that you’re the one who’s ashamed of it, and you constantly try to make good because of it?” she asked perceptively.

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Maybe not, but I think you want to succeed because at one time no one thought you could.”

  “Playing the therapist again?”

  “You brought this up, Jase, and I’m trying to figure out why. Why tonight, when we got closer?”

  Had they gotten closer? With Sara, physical intimacy seemed to lead to emotional intimacy. That had never been true with Dana.

  They started walking again and as they neared the cottage, Sara suddenly stood her ground and straightened her shoulders. “Do you think you were protecting me tonight—against knowing my own mind and making my own mistakes?”

  “Yes, I was protecting you. Your life is unsettled and I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

  “I think that’s hogwash. I think you were protecting yourself. Your walls are higher than mine.”

  When he didn’t respond, she turned to go.

  The door to the cottage was only about ten yards away, and he could just let her fade into her life with Amy without saying another word. But he couldn’t let her go like that.

  He grabbed her hand, pulled her close and kissed her.

  When they broke apart, he didn’t have to say anything and neither did she. Words were irrelevant. They wanted each other, maybe even needed each other. Still, he wasn’t ready to give in to that need, even if she was.

  He would make no mistake this time.

  * * *

  The following day, Jase was working on the next Mommy Club article, going over his interview with Sara. It was going to be a good piece. It would capture readers’ attentions and definitely draw them in.

  When Liam came into his office for a planned meeting, Jase checked his watch and saw the afternoon had almost disappeared.

  “More PR to take along to San Jose to the Wine Expo?” Liam asked with a brow arched.

  “No, it’s an article for the newspaper.”

  “Another Mommy Club piece?”

  Jase nodded.

  “Did Sara give you the go-ahead for her interview to go into print?”

  Jase didn’t show his surprise that Liam knew about both the article and Sara’s interview. “She talked to you about it?” he asked evenly.

  “She was unsure about going ahead with it. I just pointed out it would be better for her to lay out the truth rather than letting the general public create fiction. I think I finally persuaded her. I’m glad to see she’s taking my advice.”

  “What specific advice was that?” The fact that Sara had talked this out with Liam rather than him bothered him.

  “I told her the truth never hurts. People are going to think what they want, but she should at least give them a fair shot at thinking the right thing.”

  “So you and Sara are getting to know each other?”

  Liam shrugged. “We are. Little by little.”

  Although Jase wanted to know exactly what that meant, his pride kept him from asking. He wouldn’t give Liam the satisfaction of thinking any involvement he had with Sara bothered him.

  As Jase studied Liam, he wondered if Sara asked his advice because she liked him...because she trusted his judgment. She didn’t know him well enough for that, did she? Or was she attracted to Liam for the same reason she’d been attracted to Conrad—because he was older?

  An hour later, his conversation with Liam still running around in his head after their meeting, Jase sat at his desk to do one last edit on the article. When the phone rang, he picked it up automatically. Marissa was long gone.

  Checking caller ID, he saw that it was Sara.

  After his hello, she said, “I’m so glad you’re still there.”

  “You have my cell number.”

  “I called that first but got voice mail.”

  He’d forgotten he’d turned off his phone for his meeting with Liam. “I turned it off for a meeting. What’s up?” There was something in her voice that put him on alert. Shakiness? Fearfulness? Something.

  “It’s Amy. I don’t know what to do. She’s gone.”

  “What do you mean gone? How’s that possible?”

  “I had a phone call and when I turned around, she wasn’t here. The door wasn’t latched properly and I think she went outside. I looked all around, but I don’t know which way to go.”

  “She can’t have gone that far. I’ll alert everyone and we’ll start a search. Stay put. I’ll be over there as soon as I call Liam and Dad. If anyone’s still left in the winery, they can search, too.”

  “I can’t stay here, Jase. I have to look for her.”

  He could understand her panic and her need to do something. However—

  “What if Amy comes back and you’re not there? Then what? Stay put, Sara. Check all around the cottage again, but stay around your place. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

  Minutes later, Jase’s own heart was racing after he made the phone calls. Some winery staff were still working late. Liam had said he’d passed the cleaning crew headed for the reception hall and wine tasting room. He’d round them up.

  On his electronic tablet, Jase quickly brought up a map of the winery, divided it into grids and had a plan by the time he arrived at the cottage.

  Everyone who was going to help in the search gathered around. Jase saw Liam go to Sara and give her elbow a quick squeeze in reassurance. Maybe the two of them were clos
er than he thought, but she’d never mentioned it.

  Jase quickly divided the search volunteers into groups and told them how to spread out. Then he said to Sara, “I’m taking the Merlot vineyard. Stay here and wait. Everyone has your cell phone number. As soon as one of us finds her, we’ll call you.”

  “But, Jase, what if—”

  The sun was descending lower on the horizon and he knew her fears. “If we don’t find her in half an hour, I’ll call the sheriff. I promise.”

  Then, instead of giving her arm a squeeze, he pulled her into a tight hug. “She can’t have gone that far,” he said again, and kissed the top of Sara’s head.

  She looked around and spotted his father watching. Jase really didn’t care. No time for pretense here.

  After giving further instructions to everyone, Jase walked away from Sara but couldn’t help looking back over his shoulder. He hadn’t seen that pain on her face the night of the fire when she’d appeared on the nightly news. This was her daughter who was lost, not a photo album, not material possessions. His own stomach roiled and his chest was tight. Amy meant a lot to him, too.

  Ethan strode toward the Cabernet Sauvignon vineyard behind the cottage, according to Jase’s strategy, while Jase headed west and spotted Liam to the south, others heading north. He’d told them to watch for a flash of red—the color of the T-shirt Amy was wearing. He’d also instructed them to look low to the ground in case she’d be in a crouch, peering at a rock or an interesting bug. Amy wasn’t afraid of bugs. She was curious about everything.

  The trellises, the vines, the rows were all impediments to seeing a small child in an expansive area. Jase listened for laughter. He listened for crying. All he heard was evening birdsong.

  He walked. He searched. He thought about calling the sheriff. The weight on his chest made breathing tough. He could only imagine what Sara was feeling. Jase’s phone was in his hand and when it rang, he froze. He saw Liam’s number.