When Pigs and Parrots Fly

by Gail Sattler

  Then Saturday was the fair.

  As Murray often said, “No pain, no gain.”

  Squawk.

  Chapter 9

  Buy three throws, get one for free! Win a prize for the lovely lady!”

  Josh felt a poke in the small of his back.

  “Keep walking,” Sarah mumbled beside him. “Don’t slow down and don’t make eye contact.”

  He snickered. “You’re quite a drill sergeant. No wonder all the dogs and cats listen to you like they do.”

  He could almost hear her teeth grinding. Almost. “Most dogs do. Cats, not so much. You, no comment. Keep walking and keep your face forward.”

  He felt her fingers wrapping around the loose fabric at the waist of his shirt, and a tug as he started to slow down. “I said to keep moving. We’re late.”

  “It’s not my fault. I had no idea it would be so hard to find a parking spot. I’ve never seen the lot filled to capacity before, and I come every year.” He couldn’t fight the grin. “I’d guess that a good portion of this capacity crowd is here to see you, the Pet Whisperer.”

  He felt a hesitation in her step, making him regret his words. “There’s Andy. He’s not quite finished setting up yet. You go help him, and I’ll check on Murray.”

  Josh bit his lower lip to keep himself from laughing at Andy’s outrageous costume. Judging from the scowl on Andy’s face, he knew exactly how he looked and wasn’t pleased at the selections made for him.

  Beside him, Sarah giggled, which he thought a welcome change from her mood just a minute ago. “Look at Murray. They’ve set up music for the display, and he’s dancing.”

  “I don’t know if I’d call that dancing.”

  Almost in time to the music, Murray skittered along his perch, his head held high, whistling along with the high notes. When he reached the end of his perch, he raised one foot in the air, kicked, lowered his foot, bobbed three times, then skittered to the other end of the perch and repeated the process. Beside Murray’s perch was the toy that he’d taken so much time and energy to find for Murray, fluttering in the breeze, ignored.

  Sarah giggled. “Dancing or not, he looks like he’s having fun, and that’s the most important thing. I was so worried that Murray would be in a temper, and no one wants that.”

  Josh had to agree. An unhappy Murray would not be a pleasant companion, nor would it do much for the hospital fund-raiser.

  He left Sarah so she could tend to Murray while he joined Andy in dragging a wooden treasure chest away from Murray’s perch.

  “I don’t know what they were thinking,” Andy grumbled as he pulled the rope. “I’m not having people toss coins into this thing right underneath Murray. I don’t trust children to have good enough aim, especially when the parents think it’s so cute to let the young ones throw in coins. They’re just as likely to hit Murray as they are to get the coin in the chest.”

  Josh completely agreed, but he didn’t say so out loud, not wanting to encourage Andy’s complaining. Together, they heaved the heavy wooden chest to the other side, away from Murray.

  Even when it was where Andy wanted it, Andy continued to grumble. “That music makes me want to pull the plug and throw the DVD player in that trough.”

  Josh turned his head. The trough Andy referred to was filled about halfway with water and contained four colored discs floating in it. People were meant to throw coins into the trough, and if their coin stayed on a plate, they won a prize. “I think that’s supposed to be an alleged game of skill. It’s nearly impossible. I think they oil the plates.”

  “Yoh Ho Ho! Scurvy knave! . . . squawk . . . Scurvy knave! Gold doubloons . . . squawk . . . gold doubloons!”

  Josh grinned. “That’s pretty good. You’ve got him sounding like a pirate.”

  Andy shook his head. “That wasn’t me. Sarah taught him that.”

  “Mommy, can I get my picture taken with the pirate bird?”

  Josh turned to watch a little boy tugging on his mother’s pant leg. He leaned toward Andy. “It looks like you’ve got your first customer.”

  The woman stepped toward Andy at the same time as she raised her purse. “How much for a picture of Billy with your parrot?”

  Andy cleared his throat. “Pictures are by donation, ma’am.” He pointed to a poster with suggested prices and stepped back.

  By the time the woman decided which package she wanted, four more customers had lined up behind her.

  Another fire department volunteer snapped the photos. Since they were busy, Josh volunteered to help people fill out the forms and take the money for the pictures at the same time as children, teens, and adults amused themselves by throwing coins into the wooden chest.

  Watching the wild aims, especially from the younger ones, Josh agreed with Andy’s decision to move the chest as far away from Murray as possible.

  Whenever he had a moment to look up, Josh couldn’t help his amusement at Andy’s constant miserable expression. Whoever thought of the idea for Andy to be a pirate obviously knew Andy well.

  One thing he hadn’t expected, and a source of everyone’s relief, was that Murray seemed to be enjoying himself. The bird had attracted a band of followers, young and old, who giggled at his expressions and his pirate dancing. Murray enjoyed having an audience, and he didn’t seem to mind hopping from his perch to Andy’s arm for the duration of time it took to pose for photos. In fact, going back and forth between Andy’s arm and the perch seemed to make him that much happier when he got back on the perch to do another dance.

  Who could have guessed that the bird was a closet performer?

  “Blow me down . . . squawk . . . Blow me down!”

  The crowd giggled at Murray’s antics. Almost as if the bird knew he was a hit, he stretched to his full height and extended his wings to their full span. “No pain, no gain . . . squawk . . . No pain, no gain.”

  Josh felt his breath catch. Seeing it outside was far different than seeing it inside his store. Here, the bird was completely unencumbered. From wingtip to wingtip, the bird stretched to what looked like nearly five feet.

  Apparently, he wasn’t the only one shocked by the size of the bird. All the small children backed up and plastered themselves against their mothers’ or fathers’ legs, and many of the adults backed up as well.

  “Murray wants candy . . . squawk . . . Murray wants candy,” he hollered, and he bobbed his head in time with the music, keeping his wings fully extended.

  A child’s voice piped up in the crowd. “I’ve got candy for him, Mommy.”

  “No. Bradley, don’t, he doesn’t—”

  Before the child’s mother could finish her sentence, a piece of bright candy arced into the air, landing on the ground a couple of feet in front of Murray’s perch.

  “Murray wants candy . . . squawk . . . Murray wants candy,” the parrot hollered again, and he crouched and jumped off the perch, landing on the ground neatly a few inches in front of the bright treat.

  Andy’s face tightened, and he stepped forward. “Murray, you can’t have that.” As he reached down to pick it up, Murray hopped forward and scooped it up in his beak.

  A number of people in the crowd gasped.

  Murray bobbed his head and dropped the candy on the ground.

  Sarah stepped forward, but Andy raised one hand, signaling her to step back and let him handle it.

  Andy walked toward Murray, lowering his arm and inviting Murray to hop up on it. “Come on, Murray, you’re scaring everyone. Get back here. We need to take more pictures.”

  Instead of taking Andy up on his invitation, Murray lowered his head, picked up the candy and ate it. “Murray wants candy . . . squawk . . . Murray wants candy,” he hollered once more, flapping his wings from his position on the ground.

  Andy stepped closer. “You’
re being a pig. Get up here. We need to take more pictures.”

  Murray lowered his head and crouched, folding his wings slightly as he looked at Andy and jumped, extending his wings to their full span before starting to flap. He landed on his perch and bobbed his head. “When pigs fly . . . squawk . . . When pigs fly,” he hollered. The parrot crouched, and he launched himself toward the crowd. He extended his wings, dipped a bit as he soared, started flapping, and turned.

  Two of the children screeched and dropped to the ground, covering their heads with their hands.

  The little boy who had thrown the candy pointed up at Murray as the bird gained in height.

  “Mommy! Pigs don’t fly. Parrots fly. Like Murray.”

  Sarah grabbed onto Josh’s arm as Murray rose in a blaze of color above the crowd.

  “Andy!” she gulped, “How is he doing that? When was the last time you clipped his wings?”

  “I’ve never clipped his wings. I’ve never needed to.”

  In the background, the noise and music of the fair droned on.

  “Murray! Come back here!” Andy hollered.

  Murray didn’t turn around.

  Andy dragged his hand over his face. “He’s flown around my backyard, but here, he doesn’t know where he is. He’ll never find his way back home. I’ve got to go after him.”

  Andy hadn’t taken more than two steps when his cell phone sang out from his pocket. “Not now,” he grumbled as he fished it out.

  His expression tightened as he read the screen before hitting the button to answer it. “What!” he barked. His expression tightened even more as he listened to the caller, while Murray flew farther and farther away.

  He flipped the phone shut. “I have to go. There’s a fire at the retirement center, and I gave most of my guys the day off to take their families to the fair.” He turned to the firefighter who had been working the camera. “You’ve got to come with me. Let’s see if we can get anyone else.” He turned to Sarah. “You’re the only one besides me that Murray listens to. You’ve got to find him.”

  Before Sarah could reply, Andy and the other firefighter ran off toward the parking lot.

  Josh’s stomach churned as he watched all the color drain from Sarah’s face.

  “What if I can’t find him?” she squeaked. “He’s a domesticated animal. He’s in the wrong hemisphere to find his natural food source. He’s probably never been loose. He’ll never find his way back home.”

  Josh stiffened. “We’ll find him.” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the crowd behind them, most of whom were on their cell phones. “By the time we get to my car, half the city will know that Murray’s loose. He’s colorful, and he’s loud. He can’t hide. Someone will see him.”

  Sarah lowered her head and pressed her thumb and index finger to the bridge of her nose. “I was supposed to help judge that children’s drawing contest. That was supposed to help draw people to the garden club. What am I going to do?”

  Josh couldn’t imagine going after Murray without Sarah. The bird didn’t outright scare him, but still, Murray made him nervous. Most importantly, the only person he’d ever seen Murray listen to besides Andy was Sarah.

  A female voice behind him caused him to spin around. “Sarah? If I can be of any help, Stan and I can help judge the contest for you.”

  Josh’s heart pounded as he turned to see Amber and Stan behind him. Sarah’s eyes widened as they stepped around him to stand in front of her. Josh hadn’t seen them arrive, but he was certainly glad they were there now.

  Sarah sighed, and he could see the relief coursing through her as she visibly relaxed. Not only could Amber draw flowers, she made them out of everything imaginable, and then sold them for money. Amber was the one who would recognize talent and creativity in children. “That would help a lot. Besides, you’re the artistic one in the crowd. I don’t know why they didn’t ask you in the first place.”

  Amber shrugged her shoulders. “You’re the local celebrity. I’m just a semi-reclusive artist.”

  Sarah turned her head into Murray’s general direction. “There’s nothing reclusive about you. But yes, if you wouldn’t mind, that would be a great relief. I don’t know anything about art. Thanks so much. I have to find Murray before something happens to him.”

  For the duration of their conversation, Stan continued standing beside Amber. “We don’t mind at all,” he said. “Come on, honey, let’s go and tell Pamela what happened.” Stan glanced around them at the multitudes of people, all on their cell phones. “Just in case she doesn’t already know.”

  Stan and Amber headed toward the tent that had been set up for the children’s art contest, hand in hand.

  Watching them, Josh swallowed hard and pressed his hand to his back pocket to get his phone. He needed to put his concentration on finding Murray, not being jealous of his friend.

  “Excuse me!” a female voice called out through the crowd, breaking his thoughts and bringing him back to the urgency of the situation. “He’s at the library, splashing in the fountain.”

  Without waiting for a response, Josh grabbed Sarah around the wrist. “I knew it wouldn’t be long before someone saw him. Let’s go get him.”

  Chapter 10

  Sarah thought her sides would explode by the time they finally made it to the car. Josh ran so much faster with his longer legs. She could tell he had slowed somewhat for her, but urgency insisted they go as fast as possible.

  Fortunately, more traffic entered the fairground than exited, so they got out of the area much quicker than they’d gotten in.

  They made record time getting from the fairgrounds to downtown.

  “Have you been driving with Tucker?” Sarah ground out between her teeth as they rounded the last corner before the library.

  Josh gave her a quick grin and returned his attention to the road. “Before he got his badge, who do you think taught him to drive like that?”

  Sarah had a feeling she didn’t want to know the answer. For a brief second, she wondered how fast a parrot Murray’s size could fly. But of course, Murray would never have to worry about traffic.

  Thankfully, they arrived at the library without hitting anything or getting a speeding ticket. Usually the old stone building awed her, except for the carved stone gargoyles guarding the doorway. She’d always thought they were repulsive and looked evil. However, nothing could be done since the library, along with the hideous gargoyles, had been declared a heritage site, and the only changes that could be made were to preserve them to keep them in their original condition.

  As they pulled into the parking lot, she could see a crowd of people surrounding the fountain. “Let me out. I have to get there before someone does something to frighten him away.”

  “I don’t think much can scare Murray,” Josh muttered as he slammed on the brakes hard enough to cause a screech of rubber. The car hadn’t come to a full stop, and she had the seat belt unfastened, the door unlocked and part of the way open.

  Sarah took off in a run toward the fountain. She wanted to scream at everyone surrounding Murray that they were too close, that so many strangers were bound to spook him.

  Veterinary college never covered stuff like this.

  Sarah stopped running and forced a quick walk, so as not to frighten or intimidate Murray. Just as she spotted the blob of brilliant blue in the fountain, a horrendous squawk echoed through the pathway between the stately buildings. The blue dot rose in the air, circled the fountain once, turned to the left, and disappeared.

  Her feet skidded to a halt, and she bit her bottom lip to keep from muttering a nasty word as she watched Murray fly off into the blue sky. She ground out a sigh and resumed her trajectory to the fountain and the crowd.

  Half the crowd chattered excitedly on their cell phones while the other half used the cameras in
their phones to compare pictures of Murray splashing in the fountain.

  Sarah waved her hands in the air. “Everyone! Please!”

  The buzz of the crowd dimmed to a silence. Even those speaking on their phones quieted.

  “I’ve got to catch him. Please call everyone you know and have them keep an eye out for Murray. We’ve got to get him home. He’s not safe.”

  A teenage boy snorted. “What? Is a sparrow going to pick a fight with him?”

  His friend snickered. “Like anything could hurt Murray. He could beat up my neighbor’s cat.”

  Another of the young boys joined in. “He could beat up my neighbor’s dog. And my neighbor.”

  All the boys in the crowd started laughing and tossing out more and more ideas about what other animals Murray could intimidate. It didn’t take long for the conversation to degenerate to the point where the boys theatrically enacted how Murray could take on larger and larger animals, including grizzly bears.

  She wondered when she’d lost control of the conversation, if she’d ever even had it.

  Sarah stuck two fingers in her mouth and made a sharp whistle. “Please! I need everyone to call everyone you know, especially people who are now in the direction Murray went. I’ve got to find him before it gets dark.” She didn’t want to think about Murray getting too cold as the night dragged on. Or worse, that he’d fly out of the city limits, where they’d never find him again.

  Josh appeared beside her, panting slightly, telling her that he’d run all the way from where he’d left his car.

  He extended one hand. “Your phone rang. I took it out of your purse and answered it. It was Tucker. He said he’s asked everyone he knows to keep an eye out for Murray, and he’ll call if anyone sees him.” Josh glanced around the crowd, all of whom were talking on their cell phones. “Although it seems like you’ve got that covered.”

  Nodding, she reached for her phone. She, too, could make phone calls.

  Just as she hit the button to show her speed dial list, a lady from the crowd called out. “He’s at the beauty salon. Hurry!”