I Love My Side of the Story

by Sabrina Lacey

  “Amber,” Mark says.

  I sit up straight; stare at his profile, waiting.

  “I don’t know if he would have embarrassed you. I don’t know if he’s good or not. But I do know that – that’s not how you treat someone you love. When an opportunity comes that can help their lives, you give it to them.”

  “What do I do?” I breathe, scared he doesn’t know the answer.

  He turns and looks me straight in the eye. “You have to make it right.”

  Prickles run down my body. A crick in my neck forms out of nowhere and my hands feel hot. “I…”

  Mark reaches out to touch my hand again; a friend, a brother, or even an angel sent here to wake me up. He lays his hand on mine and says, “You have to apologize, because there is nothing in life without love. It’s been a long time since I’ve had somebody. It sucks. If you love your boyfriend, then do what you women seem to want to do so badly… man up.”

  I start with, “Okay…” but I don’t get to finish because a fist comes out of nowhere and punches Mark in the face, throwing his hand off mine, his body knocked into the bar, his head thrown to the side. Stunned I look and see Josh beside me, red-faced and furious. Nicole is behind him and her eyes are huge. It’s obvious she got the same deduction as Josh.

  “Josh! Oh my God! Nicole! No! No! No! Oh my god. Mark, are you okay?”

  “Amber!” Josh says, incredulous.

  “Josh! Hold on! This isn’t what it looks like. You could go to jail for this. Hang on!”

  Mark holds onto his jaw and rights himself on his stool. He sees Nicole and is almost as surprised at the sight of her as he was by getting decked. He looks back to us and says, “I’m alright. I wasn’t hitting on her, Josh. It’s all good. Really.”

  Josh is beside himself and practically panting, doesn’t know what to think. Nicole steps forward. “Josh. If she says it’s okay, then it is.”

  I say, “I’m not interested in this guy, I’m really not,” and Mark smiles despite himself.

  Nicole nods to him to apologize for my rudeness and to me she says, “Josh kept calling so I left my date and went to your place to help. When your text came through…

  “Ah. Okay.”

  “Hi,” she says to Mark, with a ridiculous wave to make up for everything. I would laugh, except for Josh’s face. I know that look. He’s about to run. I don’t know what to do. Then I get an idea.

  “Josh,” I reach out and touch his jacket. “Can I talk to you a minute?” He blinks. Quickly, I reach for my bag, pull out my driver’s license, and push it out for Mark and Nicole to see. “I’m Amber Monroe. I’m taking Josh home. Take a picture of this license so you know where he is.” My hand shakes, hanging in the balance. I shoot a look to Josh to see if it’s working. His eyes dart to the license and to me. He’s not running. So I have that much.

  Nicole grabs for her own phone to take the picture. “Okay. Make sure you bring him home safe. You’re tiny, so I’m sure he’s in good hands.” I see a reluctant tug at the corner of Josh’s mouth. Mark doesn’t know what to make of this, but he’s very interested. Nicole snaps the picture.

  “I will. You have my word,” I say, in a deeper voice. Josh melts. I love him so much for his expression. He shakes his head and reaches out to shake Mark’s hand, “I’m sorry,” he says and pride wells up inside me. That took a lot of dignity and grace.

  “It’s okay. Interesting meeting you,” Mark says, with a half-smile.

  “Ha. Thanks. You too,” Josh says. I take his hand and feel his fingers weave through mine.

  “Nicole, could you grab my coat for me. It’s fallen on the floor there.”

  “Sure. Here.” Nicole gives me a silly little thumbs up, as she hands it to me. I nod goodnight to them both and tug Josh’s hand to lead him toward a wall on the opposite end of the room. He follows me to a space in a corner. As soon as I put my back to the wall, and take an overly coy look at his crotch, he catches on. A smile dances in his eyes and he says my line, “What’d you want to talk to me about?”

  I smile, “I saw you through that glass. It’s very clean.”

  “Oh you did, did you?”

  “Yep,” I take both his hands and get serious. “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too,” he says.

  “No. Not about that,” I say, referring to the apple. “I’m kind of glad I did that.”

  He looks confused. “About what, then?”

  This is so hard. “I’m…uh…I’m sorry I didn’t give you the respect of letting you audition for that film. It’s just a film and I put too much importance on it. More importance than I put on you and us. Whether you fell flat on your face, or booked the part, I should have given you the chance.”

  “I’m a really good actor. You should know that.” Off my face, he says, “No… you wouldn’t know that, because I’ve never showed you.”

  “No, you never have.”

  “Well, we’re a couple of fools, aren’t we?”

  I laugh, “I guess so.”

  He continues, “You also don’t know I booked another commercial.”

  My mouth falls open. “You did?”

  “Last month. I didn’t tell you… because, since we’re being honest – I was holding a grudge. You never give me the benefit of the doubt, always assuming I’m a do-nothing slob and you know how that makes me feel? This big.” He releases my hand and holds up his index finger and thumb to indicate an inch. Then he holds it to his crotch to indicate his shrunken size, thanks to me.

  “Oh my God. I’m an asshole.”

  “I could have told you. It’s my fault, too. And all night tonight, when I was trying to find you, I realized I’ve been a total idiot. I’ve acted like a baby.” He admits, shakes his head like he wishes we weren’t having this conversation. No matter how necessary it is. “Look. Here’s the thing. You don’t have to worry about me, or how I look to your parents because the truth is, I’m making more money than you are now. I’ve made fifty-thousand dollars in three months.”

  “Shut up!”

  He smiles. “It’s true.”

  “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me that.”

  “Well, I wanted you to respect me if I had nothing – as long as you weren’t paying the bills for me, of course. But you know - there’re all these shows out there about rich people, and romantic ideas about billionaires, and yet no one is saying it; respect is more important. Being a good person who takes care of his own, goes after his dreams, can take care of his woman… ”

  “That sounds pretty good, when you put it like that.”

  “I’m really bad at this.” He motions between us. “But I can do better. I’ve got the basics down. I don’t cheat.”

  “I need more than not cheating.”

  “I know. And I’d love to spark things up between us again but there is no way – no way at all, that I can do that if you don’t respect me… And acting, Amber… it’s my dream. I need you to respect it, even if it takes time.”

  I nod. “I hear you.”

  “I can take care of you. I know you’re going to meet me halfway, but I don’t mean money – I mean… I can take care of you.”

  I stare at him. “I want that,” I admit quietly.

  “Then stop doing everything on your own. And stop – please, dear God – stop telling me what to do.” He reaches and puts his thumb on a falling tear, wipes it away from my chin. “Can you do that? Because I can’t do this – I can’t be in this with you – if you can’t.”

  I nod and say honestly, “I can do that.” He leans forward and kisses me. When he pulls away, I ask, “Anything else?”

  The way I said that must have been funny, because he laughs. “Well, my little perfectionist… there is one more thing.” He thinks for a second, then adds, “No, two.”

  I shove my pride down hard. “I’m listening.”

  “Please come sit in my class and see my work? I’m doing a scene I’m really proud of and I want to show you.”

 
Relief spreads over me. “I’d love that. Yes, please.”

  “The second thing is, I need you to never call me honey ever again. Ever.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Because you only say it when you’re mad, frustrated or disappointed in me.”

  “I do?”

  “Yes. You do. Without fail.”

  “Man, am I transparent!!”

  I don’t know if it’s because we’re happy we’re talking about things that needed to be said, we’re happy we’re not breaking up, or if we just needed a release, but we both lose it laughing. We’re cracking up in the corner and it feels so good to laugh. For both of us. As we wind down, he looks at me and I know from his eyes that I’m about to be kissed. He grabs me and kisses me like he thought he never would again. I run my fingers up through his hair as his arms go tight around my waist, and our mouths tell each other everything words would take too long to say.

  He asks in a hoarse voice, “Is the bathroom locked or stalls?”

  I breathe, “Locked.”

  “Perfect.” He locks lips with me for one more hot second, then leads me fast through the crowd. There’s a line, and waiting until it’s my turn, we make out in it. As soon as we get to the front we go in together. The line goes up in arms; “Hey!”

  “Use the men’s,” Josh growls and shuts the door, locked.

  Grabbing each other, we wrestle off our clothing. His zipper. My panties. His shirt. My shirt and bra. His hands grope my breasts wonderfully. My hands on his cock. Stroking it. His teeth on my earlobe. So good. My leg hooked around his ass. His breath on my nipples. His tongue next. My hands feeling his muscles as he moves. His knees bending. My other leg climbing up to ride him. His hands grabbing my thighs. His cock full and long, sliding into me. Our mouths moaning on each other as he pushes in. My clit pulsing hard. The top of his shaft rubbing it again and again. My head thrown back as his tongue runs the length of my neck. My body against the door, the sounds of music and conversations, muted. His cock satin covered steel. My pussy throbbing and taking all of it. I love you. My moan louder than his; both growing in volume. The rocketing spiral of the orgasm as I muffle a scream by kissing him roughly. I love you, too. His jerking, gasping grunts as he shoots into me. Our arms squeezed tight around each other. All of it. Everything. Gone.

  _________________________________

  We come out of the bathroom all smiles. I’ve no idea how much time has gone by and I giggle at the new line of female disapproval.

  “They’re just jealous,” Josh smiles to me. I smack him in the chest for his volume. He laughs, “You have a problem with violence, you know that? It’s a good thing you’re small.”

  “You deserved that apple. Don’t pretend you didn’t.”

  He kisses me. “We’ll work on it.”

  As we make our way to the exit, I steal a look to see Nicole has taken my seat at the bar. She’s laughing at something Mark has said and she looks beautiful – all dressed up from her earlier plans. As Josh excuses us, parting a group of five that stands in our way, I see Mark’s face now – smiling wide and interested. Huh. Well, look at that. Maybe I really was supposed to come here, after all.

  “Have a good night,” Smiling Bouncer says pointedly to me. I nod and smile as Josh holds open the door. Outside, he reaches for his phone vibrating in his pants pocket, pulls it out and shows me Jess’s name. “Hey Jess. It’s okay. I found her… Yeah. You want to talk to her? …Thank you…. Okay. Here she is.”

  I take it as our arms go ‘round each other, and we walk up the street like that. “Hi Jess.”

  “So I guess the pot finally boiled, huh?”

  “Yeah, thank God there wasn’t a bunny around.”

  “You okay?”

  “I’m okay, yeah.”

  “How about you guys? Just answer yes or no, and I’ll know.”

  I smile and squeeze in tighter to him, our feet synchronized. “That’s a very big yes.”

  She whoops on the other end of the line, so loud he can hear her. He kisses the top of my head as she says, “Listen Amb, we’re on our way to my place. I couldn’t hear the phone where we were, which is why I’m just now getting back to you guys. I felt awful when I saw your text and then heard Josh’s messages! You wanna meet us for a drink? I tried to call Nicole, but she’s not answering.”

  “I just saw her. She’s busy. She uh… met someone. You guys have fun. We’ll all catch up later.”

  “She did? You mean the bartender guy – yeah, I know. I was there.”

  “No, not him. This other guy who I met tonight first and – don’t look at me like that Josh, it was nothing. Jess… it’s a long story. Trust me, she’s busy.”

  “Yeah? Let’s hope this one sticks!” She laughs. “Okay, lovely. You’re the boss.”

  I frown, “No. I’m not the boss. Not anymore.”

  Big pause. “Oh, reaaalllllllly?” Jess says.

  “Yeah. Really. Love you.”

  “Awww. Love you, too. Talk to you later. Can’t wait to hear what happened! Weeeeee!”

  I hang up. This whole time I thought my girlfriends could help… but really the only one who could fix us, was us.

  He lets go of my waist long enough to clasp my hand. “Let’s keep this up, shall we?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Let’s make the subway blush.”

  I bust up laughing and we run down the stairs, peeking into the darkness, excited for the next train. He runs his fingers lightly over the small of my back, underneath my jacket, while we watch the lights approach. The wind blows my hair back as it comes to a quick stop and we climb on, find a seat and get to it. It feels different than the first time we did this. The feelings are deeper, and several times during the ride, sitting on his lap enveloped in his arms and caressed by his kisses, I feel so much love for him that I can’t believe it.

  We take the elevator up to our place, pressing against its walls with passionate embraces, pulling impatiently at clothes that have to wait. As soon as the doors open, he grabs me and picks me up, slides the key in the lock and carries me squealing into our home and setting me down in the living room. I look to the window. He reads my mind and says, “It’s shut. I closed the curtains earlier.”

  I look down and see my fairy is moved, and just when I’m about to say remember when we, I feel his hands on me, removing my clothes. After the last shred is gone, I stand naked in front of him and watch him walk back to look at my body as if he’s seeing it for the first time. I feel soft and feminine standing here. He surprises me by stripping off his own clothes about five feet away and standing in front of me, his cock half-hard I want to move toward him, to arouse him, but he says, “Ah ah ah,” and wags a finger at me. I laugh and go back to my position.

  His eyes paint every angle of me into his memory, traveling over my face to my neck, my collar bones, my shoulders. I can see from his lengthening member, I turn him on. My breasts love the caress of his eyes and they awaken to him as he watches them get hard. I feel warmth stirring between my legs, but still he does not move to touch me. His stare grazes over my ribcage, explores my belly button, and falls on the soft tuft of pale pubic hair that rests in between my legs. As his eyes hold that place, I feel like he’s touching me, when I know he’s not. I get wet, hotter and feel a sweet dull throb. He smiles like he knows and brushes his glance down my thighs slowly, making my skin alight with goosebumps. Even my knees feel warm. He takes his time and completes the journey and then says in a deep voice, “Now me.”

  My breath catches. I’m afraid I’m going to drip down, I’m so excited. I nod, and look at the softness of his hair that falls over his forehead, never controlled. I take in his soulful green eyes, feel the strength of their fire and hold their look as long as I can. Then I travel down to his mouth, lips parted. It’s so quiet I can hear him breathing, short and animal. I rake my eyes over the strength of his jaw to his strong neck, and follow the line widely to the end of his shoulders, one at a time.
Visually, I stroke trails and peaks of muscles that lead to his hands. I go back for his chest and feel so hungry for him as I trace the hairs, the lines, the strength of it. I follow the muscular man-v to his erection, touch it with my eyes; the tip, crimson and full, the shaft long and wide and jutting out from dark brown trimmed hair. His balls have tightened from arousal, ready. I stare at them, watch them move and shift like they have a mind of their own. Then his legs as my breath quickens at the powerful sight of them. The sweet tingling heat in my pussy is almost too much. I hold myself still – so still – and look to the lines cut deep into his thighs, trace them down his calves and finally rest on his feet, apart and solid. He wiggles his toes, and I laugh. “Come here,” he says. I bring my eyes to his and walk to him.

  “I love you, Josh.”

  He grins. “Not as much as I love you.” He grabs me and throws me on the couch. He jumps on me and opens my legs, kneeling in front of me as I lay there looking at him, because now I can’t stop looking. I’m so excited, so hot. He grabs my hips, pulls me to him so that my hair slides under my head and flows out behind me. He raises my hips up and hovers me above his cock. He leans down, raises me up, and gives me one long lick. “Oh my God. You’re so fucking wet, Amber.”

  I sit up and wrap my arms around his shoulders as he kneels on the couch, my legs behind him. I push myself down onto him, envelop him completely as we both moan from the intensity of penetration. I ride him like this and he holds onto my hips, quickening then slowing the speed, kissing me hard and fucking me harder. Through heavy breaths he says, “You’re mine. It’s just me and you.”

  I nod.

  “No. Say it out loud.”

  I say, through short breaths, “It’s just me and you.”

  He groans and pushes into me harder. Faster. “Say you’re mine.”

  “I’m so yours it’s not even funny.” I moan. He laughs, his chest glistening with sweat and his hair rocking back and forth with us, quicker and quicker. It’s a struggle to force my eyes open but I’m addicted to this feeling he’s thrummed up in me from looking at each other’s nakedness… and now I even want look down to where we are joined together. I push back a little so I can see it and look at the way his cock disappears into me, see our hair mingle, our skin touch as we join and become two halves of a whole, joined. The visual pushes me over the edge, so dirty and taboo for the girl to watch, and all of a sudden I feel the sweet sensation spreading all over my body as I begin to cum. I scream out and keep watching as he vanishes into me over and over. He breaks, and his body lurches and throws me back, lying on top of me now, as he yells out loud and long. Chests heaving against each other, I close my eyes and relish the weight of him, the pressure and heat of him. Feeling his legs, the legs I just drank in, running the length of mine and past, is intoxicating. I feel so little; so safe and loved that as we lie there, resting afterward, I do something I never do easily. I fall asleep.