Nevermor

by Lani Lenore

  He’s older than he looks. They all were. If they didn’t age, they’d been frozen like this for years. How many?

  Having found his aim, Nix released the arrow. It went directly where he intended, in the center of the knob. Wren was impressed. She knew she couldn’t begin to do that, but she didn’t praise him – especially after he looked over at her with disgust. He had known she was there from the beginning.

  “Did you want to say something?” he asked in an unfriendly tone.

  Her lips puckered angrily, and she almost stormed away from him without a word, but suddenly changed her mind. She resolved not to be shut down by him just because he didn’t want her there.

  “I just wondered if you knew where Sly was.” Nix seemed amused that she’d even responded.

  “What do you want Sly for?”

  “I just wanted to ask him a question,” she said smartly, as if it was any of his business.

  “Well, I haven’t seen him.”

  He then proceeded to ignore her, busying himself by setting another arrow against the bow string. Wren knew that was her dismissal, yet she couldn’t stand the fact that he was so cold to her.

  Does he not realize how ridiculous it is for him to hate me?

  She should have left it alone, but instead, she moved closer to him. Nix tried to focus on his target while watching her from the corner of his eye, but her lingering presence proved too much for him.

  “Do you mind?” he asked over his shoulder. “I’m trying to concentrate.”

  “I’m sorry that you don’t like me,” she said, but they both knew it wasn’t a real apology. Nix sighed in irritation and lowered the arrow.

  “It really doesn’t have anything to do with you,” he told her, a sneer in his voice. “It’s all about Rifter, and unfortunately, that’s exactly how he likes it.”

  Wren did agree that this seemed to be the way of things. Rifter was in charge, he did what he wanted and he didn’t care what anyone else thought about it.

  “He is pretty arrogant, isn’t he?”

  “Girls must like that.” Nix scoffed and went back to his arrow. Just like that, they were back where they’d started.

  “I haven’t been here nearly long enough to have done anything to you,” she reminded him, unwilling to let it go. “Why won’t you give me a chance?”

  “You had a chance last night. You didn’t impress me.”

  She stood there silently, her lips drawing tighter together, and eventually Nix sighed.

  “Look, I’ve seen the weak ones come and go. To me, that’s all that you are. You’re another weak one. It’s best not to get too close, because you won’t survive for very long.”

  “You expect me to die? That’s a horrible thing to say!” And it was. The problem was that he didn’t care how it sounded. He’d meant it that way.

  “I’m saying that if you don’t learn to fight your own battles, don’t expect me to. Maybe the others will take pity and put themselves in harm’s way for you, but not me.”

  That had done it. He’d succeeded in making her angry.

  “I never asked you to!”

  “Good.”

  “Fine.”

  Wren stomped away from him, and just as she’d left, she heard the twang of the arrow as it shot forward and hit its mark, squarely in the bark of the tree, just as he’d intended.

  2

  Wren tried not to let Nix’s harsh words get her down. She could not deny that they stung, but she put them further from her with each step that she and her shadow took away from him.

  Maybe I can’t fight, but I’m not useless. I guess I’ll have to prove it to them. She just wasn’t sure how she would do that. For now, she resolved that she should go on with the day.

  The forest was different in the daylight. It wasn’t nearly so ominous now that the darkness had been relieved. There were birds twittering happily in the treetops, and Wren took this as a good indication that it was safe for her to walk about freely. In her thin shoes, she passed through the grass and moss, dewy in the shadow of the morning, observing what she could.

  The terrain was uneven, dipping in places and rising in others. She wanted to look around at it all but found herself having to watch her footing to avoid tree roots and holes.

  It is very peaceful though. Nothing like back home. If she’d been back in the city, she couldn’t have even hoped to hear the sounds of birds unless it was the coo and flutter of a dirty pigeon.

  She took a deep breath, filling her lungs with fresh air. Everything was clear and green and alive. She could smell a hint of the sweet grass and the sinewy youth of the saplings, and Wren smiled to herself.

  Yes, I could call this place home, she thought.

  She imagined Henry running free through the woods with a smile on his face, and of Max sleeping in the crook of a tree. She understood that by bringing them here, they would become wild boys as well, yet wasn’t that what all boys were at the core? She would merely be allowing them to have their freedom.

  In that moment, she began to miss her brothers terribly. She was certain that they thought she had abandoned them. Max was probably sad for her and Henry was likely fuming so intensely that smoke was rolling out his nostrils, but she would just have to hope that they would forgive her when she convinced Rifter to bring them here. She swore to herself that she would bring it up to him again when he got back. She couldn’t afford to waste time.

  Wren was on her way down a steep slope, resisting the way gravity was pulling at her, when she noticed that there was a hill with a rocky ridge up ahead, and sitting on those rocks was the one she had been hoping to find.

  Sly was there with his back to her, looking into the sky with the scope she’d seen him with the night before. He didn’t seem to notice her, but she watched him, curious. He’d look up into the heavens for only a moment, then he’d lower the scope, make an adjustment, and try again. She wondered what he was doing, but guessed the only way she would know was to ask.

  Pulling up the end of her gown a bit so that it would not hinder her, she began up the hill to meet him.

  “What are you doing?” she called when she had come close enough to ask without having to yell.

  Sly turned to regard her, and she noticed for the first time that his eyes were a clear gray that reflected the light. He did not seem startled by her approach, but yet it took him a moment to find that secret smile that he usually wore at the corner of his mouth.

  “I’m studying,” he replied. “Want to join me?”

  She accepted his invitation and sat beside him on the sun-warmed rocks, avoiding twigs that might stick through her dress. Sly used the scope to look up again, but he lowered it quickly once more. Since she was closer now, she could see that the scope was fitted with a second contraption with several dials and another set of lenses. It baffled her.

  “May I ask what you’re studying?”

  “This scope comes in handy for many things, but currently, I’m trying to have a look at the sun. I’ve been attempting to study it for a long time, but I haven’t ever been able to get a good look at it. It’s just too bright and too far away.”

  “No, I don’t suppose it is possible to look directly at the sun – though it is usually impossible to see it at all through the fog back home,” she said, remembering her own learning experiences from back when she was much younger than he was. “Why are you trying to look at it?”

  “It fascinates me,” Sly said. “Rifter has told me that no matter where he goes, through all the realms he’s crossed, there is one constant: the sun. How is it that it can be seen from every point in the universe? What is the secret of its power?”

  Wren was less interested in his talk of the sun and more in what he had said about Rifter. So, what Toss had said was true. Rifter was able to pass through all the realms of the universe with ease. Just the idea that other realms existed fascinated her. She longed to ask Rifter about it. How could he do this? Why was he special?

  Sly g
lanced over at her as if he expected an answer, but when she just stared at him blankly, he gave an apologetic smile.

  “I’m boring you,” he said suddenly, looking back down at the scope. “That’s common.”

  “No, not at all,” she assured him. “I was just thinking about what you said. It really is unfathomable to think about. I’ve just been wondering to myself how Rifter can pass through worlds. By what I’m used to, it’s hard to imagine much beyond the streets I saw every day.”

  Sly hummed thoughtfully. “It’s really best not to be too curious about the Rifter.”

  Wren was surprised to hear him say that. He had caught onto her so quickly?

  “You seem like an inquisitive type,” he went on. “Life here is a bit harder on people like us, but it gets easier over time – after you learn what not to be too inquisitive about.”

  Was that supposed to be welcoming? Wren wasn’t sure how to take it. She thought it sounded a little snide.

  “That’s a bit cryptic, isn’t it?” she accused mildly.

  “I’ve been here a long time, Wren,” Sly said, sighing as if he was an old man, burdened by his age and wisdom. “I’ve seen a lot of things, and I’m still learning more all the time, but some subjects just have to be left alone. I don’t regret any day of being here, and once you learn a few initial things the hard way, I’m sure you’ll be perfectly happy too.”

  “I don’t like the hard way.” She’d had too much of the hard way in her life. She was ready for things to be simple and easy.

  “Some things can only be learned the hard way.” He put the scope to his eye again, but was quick to take it down, squinting in frustration.

  “I don’t understand what you mean.”

  “I’m giving you advice,” he said plainly. “There is one rule above all others here, and it doesn’t have anything to do with the Vow or any tests you might manage to pass. The utmost important thing is keeping Rifter happy. He is like a god in this place, and we exist here solely for his pleasure. That includes doing what he expects us to do, and knowing what not to say to him.”

  Wren was stunned. The words were heavy, but the delivery was sincere, and she wanted to take him seriously. Was it true? Did they really spend their days tiptoeing around Rifter? That hadn’t been the impression she’d gotten.

  Because they’ve already learned – except perhaps Nix.

  “What sort of things shouldn’t I say to him then?” she asked.

  “For starters, don’t talk about your past life. You’ve brought it up twice to me just now, but don’t do that in front of Rifter. He intends for us to live in the present and to forget about what we used to be.”

  Had she done that? She wasn’t sure.

  “Don’t ask him complicated questions about how he is able to do things, like passing through worlds. He doesn’t like questions like that because he can’t answer them. Don’t ask him about the others, and whatever you do, don’t ask him things that he might not remember – or that he has chosen to forget.”

  The others? Things he might not remember? Sly was speaking in riddles.

  “How will I know if he may not remember something?”

  “When you do it, you’ll know,” was all he would say.

  Sly handed her the scope as a way of ending their talk on the subject, and Wren accepted. She put the lens to her eye and looked up into the air, and though she knew it was probably a bad idea, she was too curious not to glance toward the sun. Even with the tinted lens of the scope, she could only look at it a moment before having to avert her eyes. The exponential brightness left a familiar spot in her vision, even after she had lowered it.

  “It’s still too bright to look at,” she said, handing the scope back to him. He nodded.

  “It’s a peril to look at and to get close to, and also too powerful to explain,” he said, lifting the scope to his own eye again. “Maybe it can never be understood.”

  She couldn’t help thinking that was some kind of message, but she couldn’t figure it out. For fear of him thinking she was ignorant, she didn’t ask him to expound upon it, but she didn’t think that he would anyway. He kept quiet as his eyes settled on something through the scope – presumably not the sun.

  “Speak of the devil; he’s back.”

  Rifter?

  Wren felt her heart spring up, but when she looked into the sky, she could not see what Sly saw. Rifter was too far away. Still, the boy stood up and offered his hand to her.

  “Come on,” he said. “He likes it when we’re waiting for him.”

  She allowed him to help her up, and he guided her down the rocks. He held her hand as he helped her down, but she did not feel that same thrill of excitement that she got when Rifter touched her. She accepted this as a friendly gesture, but didn’t read anything into it.

  When they got back to the hideaway, the others came in gradually as well. Sly had called to Nix and Toss as they’d gone along, announcing that Rifter was on his way back. Finn and the twins were still asleep, but they were roused to be ready for Rifter’s arrival. Wren herself was very anxious, but Rifter was not back quite as swiftly as Sly had led her to believe. Then again, perhaps the minutes only seemed like hours because Wren was anticipating it.

  When Whisper zipped through the tunnel as a glowing streak, several of them stood up, and when Rifter made his appearance, Wren smiled.

  Rifter!

  She rose immediately and took a few steps to meet him before she remembered herself. She halted just short of throwing her arms around his neck in her gladness to see him, but she kept herself at bay. She was happy that he was back, but she didn’t know him well enough to celebrate in such a way, and she had to remind herself of that.

  “It took you long enough to get back this time,” Nix taunted. “Did you get lost?”

  “I was going to come straight back, but I was too busy with your mother,” Rifter said nastily.

  The other boys expressed their surprise with laughter and howling. Nix didn’t seem to take offense, as if their fight the night before had been forgotten, and all seemed to think it was a good time. Wren thought it was terrible, but she didn’t say anything.

  After that, it didn’t take Rifter long to focus on her. He seemed to have forgotten she was there. His eyes grew a little wider, but he didn’t apologize for his lewd joke.

  “I see you’re still in one piece,” he said instead. He smiled at her and, at that moment – as if it was brought on by his pleasure – the sun shone in a little brighter and covered them in warmth and light.

  “Hard to find trouble in one’s sleep, I suppose,” she said meekly. She couldn’t explain why she suddenly felt shy in front of him.

  “Depends on who you’re talking to,” he replied.

  She was a little embarrassed when she remembered that it was in her sleep that she had come here in the first place. She smiled and lowered her head, trying to get herself together, but he was quick to try and catch her eye again.

  “I thought about you while I was gone,” he said, and this made her blush as scarlet as Toss had earlier when she’d spoken to him. “I made a decision.”

  Wren’s smile faltered and she felt her heart pulse. He had certainly been thinking about her, but it was not in the way she had hoped. He’d made a decision? It could have been about anything, but part of her was worried – worried because she was sure it was about whether she would be allowed to stay.

  “About what?” she asked carefully.

  “About you,” he said, and her chest tightened. “It doesn’t seem right that you should be given a harsh test, but yet I can’t just give you a free pass to stay here.”

  His expression changed and he shifted his eyes away from her thoughtfully, as if looking at her might sway him. Wren had hoped that her inability to defend herself at the beach might have slipped his mind, but obviously it had not. Now he would tell her that he had no use for someone as feeble as her, and he would send her away. It would be just as Nix had said.


  Wren was already preparing her defense – getting ready to beg if she had to – but she managed to hold her tongue until he told her what his decision actually was.

  “It’s unfair for me to give you the same test that I would give a boy. You’re not a boy, so I can’t expect you to offer the same strengths.”

  Wren felt amazing relief at that and was glad he’d realized it without her having to point it out. She hadn’t really considered that it would take him as much effort to figure her out as it would take her to understand him, but perhaps it was so.

  “But the purpose of bringing in others is to strengthen the group. If you’re going to be a part of that, then you must be able to offer something. That being said, what can you do?”

  She decided to forgive him for insulting her this time, for she was too relieved that he was going to give her another chance to prove herself in some other way. Still, his question made her hesitate.

  “Well, the only things I’ve ever really done are clean and cook, sew…” She struggled to think of something that might be specifically valuable to him, but he stopped her at that.

  “You can cook?” he asked, seeming interested. “We all hate cooking – well anything more than roasting meat on a stick. It takes too long. Waste of time.”

  “But you like to eat, I assume,” she said.

  “Of course you know that we do,” he replied with a grin.

  “Then you’re in luck,” she said. “I don’t mind cooking. I’m actually fond of it.”

  She didn’t want it to be obvious that she was boasting, but she was confident in her skills. Some of her most enjoyable moments in the last few years had been spent in the kitchen at the Home. It was an opportunity for peace and quiet, and a chance to be creative when good ingredients presented. Along with that, there was nothing quite so satisfying as having others appreciate something that she’d created.

  “Alright, a deal,” he proposed. “We go for a hunt, and you clean up and cook what we bring back. If you do a good job, then you’ll have passed the test.”