The Last King of Rome

by Laura Dowers

  Lucilla welcomed them to her home and playfully accused her brothers of not visiting her often enough. Arruns agreed, apologised and promised he and Lolly would make more of an effort in the future. Tullia immediately asked to see Lucilla’s children, Titus and Iunius, and headed off to the nursery. Lucilla asked Lolly if she wanted to see them too but Lolly shook her head, curling her hands around Arruns’s arm as if she couldn’t bear to be parted from him.

  Lolly could put on a good show when she wanted to, Lucius thought as Lucilla led them through to the dining room. He had heard her shouting at Arruns not an hour earlier, complaining she would have to wear a dress to Lucilla’s she had worn a hundred times before and which was little better than rags because he was too mean to buy her a new one.

  Lucius stole a look at Lolly as she walked in front of him. He had seen the dress often, it was true, but he thought it suited her very well. The rich red showed off her white complexion and thick dark hair. The dress Tullia was wearing was a new one, Lucius reflected, and it had been a waste of his money, for she didn’t look nearly as attractive as Lolly. Maybe he should choose Tullia’s clothes for her in future, stop her wearing those dowdy browns and yellows. If Lolly were given the allowance Tullia had, she would choose grandly, Lucius felt sure. Lolly wouldn’t show him up.

  There I go again, he upbraided himself, thinking about Lolly. Ever since she had touched him in the darkness of the domus, she had been on his mind. Whenever he thought about her hand on his cock, he touched himself, imagining her sinking to her knees and taking him in her mouth.

  No! He thrust the thought away angrily. I won’t have a woman clouding my mind in this way.

  Lucius was thinking about her again, Lolly could tell. The way he stared at her and tried not to, the way he tried to avoid talking to her. Oh yes, he was thinking about her all right.

  Lolly put her fingers to her breast, feeling for the phial she had slipped into her cleavage as she dressed. She had warmed Lucius up with her approach in the domus. Now, she would make sure of him and put the love philtre in his drink. She couldn’t wait any longer.

  Lucilla offered them wine and was about to signal to a servant to pour when Lolly begged to be allowed to do it. Surprised at her sister-in-law’s request, not least because it seemed so out of character, Lucilla agreed with a shrug and gestured Lucius and Arruns to the couches. Tullia returned to the dining room as they made themselves comfortable and declared Lucilla had the most delightful children.

  Lolly moved to the table where the wine jug and cups stood. With her back to the company, she took out the phial and poured a small amount of the liquid into one of the cups, making a mental note of its decoration, a group of dancing girls, before filling the others. She raised Lucius’s cup to her nose and sniffed. There wasn’t any telltale smell, she noted with relief. Under her breath so as not to be heard, she began her prayer.

  ‘Most bountiful goddess! Oh, Venus, Queen of love! Deliver to my arms he who has fired my soul and let him find pleasure in my body and love in my heart. Let him leave me satisfied but yet still desiring, sated but unfulfilled, so he returns to my arms and to my bed. Oh, most blessed goddess! Grant me this and I will make offerings to you of rose, myrtle and wine. In most earnest and true thanks for your bounty. Oh, goddess, hear me.’

  She turned to the couches and handed out the cups, saving Lucius until last. He took his cup without a word of thanks, keeping his eyes from her. But she remained standing by him and he looked up, frowning. She glanced at the cup then back at him. Perplexed, he raised the cup to his lips and took a mouthful of the wine.

  Lolly watched him swallow, yearning to kiss his throat. He’d done it. Lucius had drunk the love philtre. She took her placed beside Arruns. Ignoring his curious stare, she gulped down her wine, almost choking as it burned her throat.

  Lolly had found it difficult to remain attentive throughout the dinner. She had heard the chatter going on around her, the inanities that Arruns uttered, the pathetic replies Tullia made and the gossip that Lucilla spouted. She only had eyes and ears for Lucius.

  Lucius said little and only picked at the food that lay before him, even the dish of oysters Lucilla had ordered specially, knowing how Lucius liked them. He seemed preoccupied and Lolly worried she’d made him feel ill.

  She found the evening interminable and was actually grateful to Tullia when she began to yawn, covering her mouth daintily with her hand and pretending she wasn’t tired. Lolly nudged Arruns in the ribs and gestured she wanted to leave. Arruns made their thanks to Lucilla and apologised for not staying longer. The party broke up, Lucilla insisting they meet again soon.

  Arruns and Tullia chatted all the way back to the domus, he holding Tullia’s arm so she wouldn’t stumble along the uneven narrow streets, telling the torchbearers not to walk too fast nor move too far ahead and leave them in darkness. Lucius held out his arm to Lolly, and she curved her fingers around his wrist, feeling his pulse throb into her body.

  They spoke not a word on the journey home. Lolly wished Lucius would say something to her, anything, but he kept his eyes looking straight ahead and she didn’t dare speak to him. Back in the domus, the four bid each other good night and parted, Tullia and Lucius to their bedroom, Arruns and Lolly to their separate rooms.

  Lolly closed her door and leant her head against the wood. Her head ached so, all that worrying about Lucius and whether the philtre would work. She was a fool. Had she really expected Lucius to fall in love with her after a mouthful of wine? And what if he had? She shuddered to imagine Lucius falling to his knees, declaring he loved her in front of the others. What a fool he would have looked. He would never have forgiven her.

  She kicked off her sandals and slipped her dress off her shoulders. Stepping out of her underwear, she lay naked on the bed. The chill air of the small stone room cooled her skin quickly and eased her aching head. It wasn’t long before she fell asleep.

  Lolly awoke with a start. A noise had broken into her unconscious, a sound she recognised as the opening and closing of the door, then the sliding of a bolt home. Someone was in her room. She opened her mouth to scream as a figure loomed over the bed but a smell, familiar and welcome, wafted over her, oil and sandalwood, and she realised who it was.

  ‘What have you done to me?’ Lucius growled. ‘Why can’t I stop thinking about you?’

  Lolly, her body trembling, sat up and felt for him in the darkness. Her fingers found his chest and she smoothed her hand over his skin. He was breathing hard, his chest rising and falling beneath her hand. ‘Do you want me?’ she whispered.

  In answer, he grabbed her hand and she felt his lips upon the inside of her wrist. She curled her fingers around the back of his neck and pulled him down onto her.

  ‘You’re a disgrace to the name of woman.’

  The voice floated over Tullia’s head and she jerked around to see who had spoken. ‘Oh, it’s you,’ she said with relief.

  Arruns grinned. ‘Look at you, just sitting there, not doing anything. Shouldn’t you be hard at work spinning or ordering the servants about?’ He sat down beside her.

  ‘I suppose I should,’ she said solemnly, her gaze on the garden before her.

  Surprised by her tone, he said, ‘I was only joking, Tullia.’

  She gave him a thin smile, laying her hand briefly on his. ‘I know. Don’t mind me.’

  A moment passed before he spoke again. ‘What’s the matter?’

  Tullia squeezed her eyes together and bit her lip.

  ‘It’s Lucius, isn’t it?’ Arruns prompted.

  She nodded. ‘I think I must have done something to upset him, but I don’t know what.’

  ‘No,’ Arruns shook his head and waved his hand decisively, ‘I can’t believe you could do anything wrong. Not you.’

  ‘Then why is he being so cruel to me?’ she burst out imploringly. ‘Ever since that dinner at Lucilla’s I only have to open my mouth and he’s snapping at me to hold my tongue. If I touch him, he s
hakes me off. What have I done, Arruns? Has he said anything to you?’

  ‘Tullia, you know Lucius doesn’t confide in me.’

  ‘If only he told me what I’d done wrong, I’d mend it. I’ve tried to apologise but that seems to annoy him even more.’

  ‘Maybe you should just stay out of his way.’

  ‘What kind of wife would I be then?’

  ‘But if he doesn’t want you—,’ Arruns began but broke off as Tullia burst into tears. ‘Oh, Tullia, I didn’t mean—’

  No, he hadn’t meant to say his brother didn’t want her for he knew how hurtful such a remark was. Arruns understood how Tullia felt. How often had Lucius grown bored with him and told him to bugger off, never caring how much his words wounded? Maybe he had deserved to be shoved aside — he could be a nuisance, he knew — but not Tullia, never Tullia. She didn’t deserve that. She deserved to be loved and looked after.

  Feeling awkward, Arruns put his arm around Tullia’s shoulder, half expecting her to pull away. But she didn’t. She curled into him and pressed her face to his chest. He felt the hot moistness of her tears through his tunic and laid his cheek against the top of her head. He found it strangely pleasant to hold her.

  ‘If it makes you feel any better,’ he said, ‘Lolly’s been off with me too. But I suppose that’s nothing new.’

  ‘Poor you,’ Tullia said, sniffing and lifting her head. ‘You’re such a good man, you don’t deserve it.’

  ‘Oh, I’m used to it. I stay out of her way so I don’t annoy her too much.’

  ‘Poor you,’ Tullia said again and smiled weakly.

  ‘Well, I mustn’t complain. I’ve got you to talk to.’

  ‘And I’ve got you.’

  ‘Makes it better, doesn’t it?’ Arruns asked hopefully.

  Tullia nodded. ‘Much. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you, Arruns.’

  Arruns, embarrassed, smiled and squeezed her shoulder. Tullia put her head on him once again and they stayed that way for a long while.

  Arruns wandered through the domus, his mind on his troubled marriage. He was not happy, Lolly was not happy, but what could be done about it? He thought perhaps having a child would bring them together, but with Lolly in a separate room and doing her wifely duty only rarely, there seemed little chance of that. What was to be done, then? Separation? Servius would never agree to a divorce, and even if he did, what then? Could he and Lolly continue to live in the domus as brother and sister or would he have to leave and find a home of his own? If he moved out, he wouldn’t see Lucius all that often, or Tullia.

  Tullia! How it would hurt not to see her every day. They had become so close since that talk in the garden, it was hard and unpleasant to imagine not being near her. He would rise in the morning looking forward to seeing her and they would sit together and chat, about everything and nothing, it didn’t seem to matter. With Tullia, he had found it possible to laugh and relax, something he never did with Lolly.

  He wandered into the garden and sat down on one of the benches. Looking up, he saw Tullia at the far end. She was moving along the paths, bending down every now and then to smell a flower or rub the leaves of a herb between her fingers, bringing them to her nose, breathing in their scent. Every movement of her body was gentle and graceful. How different to her sister.

  Tullia turned the corner of the path and gave a little cry of alarm. ‘Oh, Arruns, you made me jump. What are you doing there?’

  ‘Nothing. Just sitting.’

  ‘Were you watching me?’

  Arruns nodded. Tullia looked to the ground and he saw her cheeks redden. ‘You’re very pretty.’

  ‘Oh, I’m not. Lolly’s the pretty one, everyone says so.’

  ‘I don’t say so.’

  ‘Well, that’s because you’re kind.’

  ‘And is Lucius kinder to you these days?’

  ‘No,’ she said, keeping her eyes down, ‘but I’ve learnt to accept it.’

  ‘You shouldn’t have to do that,’ Arruns said angrily. By the gods, did Lucius not know what a treasure he had in Tullia?

  ‘I do it, Arruns, it saves me pain. You mustn’t worry about me.’

  ‘Do you love him?’

  Tullia looked at him. ‘He’s my husband.’

  ‘That’s not an answer.’

  Tullia bit her lip. ‘No, I don’t.’

  ‘Lolly doesn’t love me. Do you think it’s because we don’t have children? Women like to have children, don’t they?’

  ‘I’d like to have them,’ Tullia said.

  Arruns heard the sadness in her voice. ‘You will.’

  She shook her head. ‘No, I won’t. Lucius doesn’t touch me anymore. He even said I should go back to my old bedroom like Lolly has. So, how am I supposed to get pregnant?’

  Arruns sighed. ‘I’m sure he would miss you if you did leave him. Lucius probably just has something on his mind. He’ll be attentive to you again and you’ll have a baby.’

  ‘I do hope so,’ she said. ‘My greatest desire is to be a mother.’

  ‘Lolly has never said that or anything like it,’ Arruns said glumly. ‘But I feel sure she would love our children if we had any. Should I sacrifice to Lucina? Do you think that would help?’

  Tullia hesitated, then took his hands in hers. ‘I don’t think Lolly would want you to do that. I’m sorry, Arruns, but she doesn’t want your children, she told me so.’

  Arruns stared at her. ‘No, she wouldn’t say that.’

  ‘I’m not lying to you. Lolly doesn’t want to get pregnant by you. She takes steps to prevent it. Why do you think she moved out of your bed? And when you do sleep together, she uses a sponge and vinegar, you know, inside herself, to stop your seed. I know too that she sends her maid to buy potions from a woman with a spice and herb shop near the Temple of Vesta. I’ve never been there myself, but Lolly says her potions can prevent a woman from conceiving or even make a man impotent.’

  ‘But I’m not impotent,’ he protested.

  ‘I never said you were.’

  ‘We made love all the time before she moved out of our room.’

  ‘Then she should have been pregnant by now, shouldn’t she?’ Tullia snapped, instantly regretting her harshness as Arruns’s indignant expression changed to one of hurt.

  ‘Does she hate me so much?’ he asked quietly.

  ‘It’s Lolly,’ Tullia shrugged. ‘It’s how she is.’

  ‘I’ve never heard you speak about her like this before. You sound as if you don’t like your sister.’

  ‘I don’t like her,’ Tullia said before she could stop herself. ‘In case you haven’t noticed, Arruns, Lolly’s not a very nice person.’

  He laughed and leant in closer. ‘Shall I tell you a secret? I don’t like my brother very much.’

  ‘But you adore Lucius!’

  ‘Oh, I love him, but I don’t always like him.’

  ‘What a pair we are,’ Tullia mused. ‘You know, Lolly once said we should have each other’s husbands. I thought she was being silly, but maybe it would have been better for all of us.’

  ‘What? If you and I had married?’

  They stared at one another for a long moment until Tullia blushed and looked away. Thunder rumbled across the sky. ‘We should go in,’ she said quietly.

  They walked into the house, their hands brushing against each other, neither pulling away. They exchanged no words, didn’t say where they were going, but somehow they seemed to agree they were going to Arruns’s bedroom. They reached the door and halted outside.

  ‘When is Lucius back?’ Arruns asked, slipping his hand into hers.

  ‘Not till late.’

  ‘So…’

  She looked up at him. ‘Should we? I don’t know.’

  ‘Only if you want.’

  ‘You will be kind, won’t you, Arruns?’

  ‘I’m not my brother, Tullia. If you had been my wife, I would have loved you.’

  Tullia smiled shyly, then squeezed his hand a
nd drew Arruns into his bedroom.

  15

  Tarquinia rose and rubbed some feeling back into the flattened and reddened skin of her knees. She hoped the goddess Vesta would answer her prayers for she didn’t know if she could bear the discord within her family much longer.

  Despite all Tanaquil’s planning and Servius’s assurances that the marriages would work, the children had arranged matters to their own satisfaction. Tarquinia had heard the gossip of the household servants and seen with her own eyes how her daughters had slipped into the beds of the other’s husband. She had been shocked by Tullia; Tarquinia had not thought her eldest daughter capable of such deceit. But she didn’t blame her. She knew Tullia was miserable with Lucius. What woman wouldn’t be?

  Well, Lolly, apparently, although that was no surprise to her. Hadn’t she told her mother and Servius so before the girls were married? It had been over a week since she had been sure her daughters were cuckolding their husbands, a week of torment over whether to tell Servius or not. He would be so upset, so disappointed. If she did tell him, Tarquinia feared he would make a public display of the girls as he had with Lucius after that damned raid. She didn’t want her daughters, however disgracefully they were acting, exposed to such gossip and become the talk of the taverns. She could confront them but she doubted her daughters would listen to her. Lolly certainly wouldn’t and Tarquinia would die before she appealed to Lucius to stop seeing Lolly and return to Tullia.

  Was this part of the curse? Tarquinia wondered. The wretched woman had wanted the Tarquins to experience discord and strife, and nothing was more destabilising to family unity than having the younger generation sleeping with each other’s spouses.

  Tarquinia came to a decision. If the affairs hadn’t ended by the start of the new month, she would tell Servius and let him deal with them.

  Lolly pushed herself up onto her elbow and laid her hand on Lucius’s chest. He murmured an appreciation of her touch and gave a hard squeeze to her fleshy hip.