Nighthawk & The Return of Luke McGuire

by Rachel Lee

  Esther’s head swung around and she looked at him with something like horror.

  “The law wants to be really sure before it acts, Esther. That’s the only reason I’m here talking to you now.”

  She nodded. “And I’m grateful for that. But this—”

  “This,” he interrupted, “is a case of a man trying to see his daughter. He hasn’t made one threat against you. Today he knocked on your door and called your name but he didn’t try to break in, and he didn’t shout any threats. When you refused to answer the door, he drove away. Esther, if they start arresting people for that, we’re going to be in serious trouble in this country.”

  “You don’t understand!”

  “I understand perfectly. I understand so well that I broke a bunch of traffic laws racing over here at ninety miles an hour with my heart in my throat, scared to death you’d been hurt!” Damn it, he shouldn’t have admitted that, either to her or to himself. He didn’t want to care. Caring was just another way to get tied down in responsibilities. To become a captive.

  Her hazel eyes were wide, wounded. “I didn’t mean…”

  “No, I know you didn’t.” He sighed and tried to calm down. His emotions had been unsettled ever since he’d met Esther Jackson, but hearing that her father was beating on her door had tipped him into an emotional maelstrom. Get a grip, guy. “It’s just that I can see both sides of this problem very clearly. The hands of the law are tied, for good reasons. But mine aren’t, okay? I’ll just tell my family that I need to stay here until your father takes the hint and crawls back under whatever rock he slithered out from under.”

  “You can’t do that! You have other things to do, a life of your own. Craig, I won’t permit it!” Mainly she didn’t think she could stand having him around all the time. Men made her constantly uneasy, although this one more than most—and for a very different reason. She lay awake at night burning, with thoughts running through her mind that ought to be illegal. Unfortunately, she didn’t even know enough about the subject to build a good fantasy for herself. She could only remember that time he had lifted her onto the counter and kissed her…and touched her….

  A blush heated her cheeks as she realized the direction her thoughts had taken. And at a time like this!

  “I’ll stay,” he said. “The barn floor can wait a few days, and I’m pretty sure that Sheriff Tate and company are going to figure out some way to run this guy off.” He shook his head. “I wouldn’t care to be in Richard Jackson’s shoes if he so much as spits on a sidewalk in this county.”

  Esther shuddered, feeling suddenly cold as the reality of it all crashed in on her. “He was here,” she whispered. “Oh, my God, he was really here.” She turned toward him with terrified eyes. “It happened.”

  Craig hesitated, then reached out and clasped her hand. “Yeah, it happened,” he agreed bluntly. “It really happened.”

  “No…no…I meant…my worst nightmare. That he’d find me. That he’d track me down and come to my home and…. It happened, Craig. It all happened!”

  “Except that he didn’t hurt you,” he reminded her.

  She shook her head slowly. “That doesn’t mean a damn thing. It’s not over yet.”

  He sighed and squeezed her hand. “If you look at it that way, Esther, it’s never going to be over until one of you is dead.”

  She jerked and pulled her hand free. “What do you mean?”

  “Just that if you’re going to live in terror of what he might do, it’ll never be over. Not ever. If Sheriff Tate throws the man out of the county for some reason, what’s to prevent him from coming back next week? Or next year? I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again—there’s only one way out of this prison of fear.”

  This time Esther didn’t raise her voice to argue with him. She didn’t even look mutinous. Instead she stared out over the prairie and admitted to herself that there was no foreseeable end to this.

  When Sheriff Tate called, she didn’t even bother arguing with him about the appalling state of the law.

  “Let’s get out of here.” Craig looked across the kitchen at Esther, who had just returned from showering. Her long hair shone with freshly washed vitality, and she wore a white ankle-length prairie skirt that was dotted with tiny red flowers, and a red silk blouse.

  “Out of here?” she asked.

  “Out of here. Let’s go to town. I’ll buy you dinner at Maude’s. Or if you want, we can try that new place just outside town.”

  She didn’t go out to dinner. Ever. People had a habit of staring just enough to make her feel awkward. She started to refuse, then realized that this would be different. She wouldn’t be alone.

  Her father! The thought that she might encounter him in town made her stomach do a queasy flip-flop. She looked uncertainly at Craig and felt her heart catch with yearning. Oh, how she wished this man could want her as much as she wanted him!

  “I’ll be there, Esther,” he said, as if he could read her mind. “He won’t hurt you when I’m there.”

  That was certainly true. Intellectually she realized that her father was one of life’s bullies, a man who would never attempt to take on anyone bigger and stronger. Her emotional perception was vastly different, however, and Richard Jackson was still the all-powerful, terrifying figure of her childhood.

  She managed a smile. “I hear Maude’s is wonderful.”

  “Maude’s it is. But I’m warning you, if you’re on a diet you’d better forget all about it. She fries just about everything.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “Great. I’ll need to stop at my place to get a change of clothes, though. In fact, I guess I need to get a whole bunch of stuff since I’m going to be staying here for a while.”

  “Craig—”

  “Shh. You didn’t ask, and I’m not offering. I’m insisting. You shouldn’t be here alone.”

  For some reason she couldn’t take exception to his insistence. In point of fact, he was only trying to help her out, and making too much of a stink would appear ungrateful. She was very grateful.

  She did, however, insist that they take her Jimmy rather than his pickup truck since it was easier for her to get into it with her brace.

  “That’s fine,” he agreed. “Do you want to drive?”

  Esther held out the keys to him. He captured her hand as he took them, and smiled down into her eyes. She caught her breath, and felt as if the very earth beneath her feet shifted. The whole rest of the world receded, becoming nothing but a distant blur of color and sound. His hand felt so warm around hers, the callused texture of his palm so exciting. She could remember what those hands had felt like on her breasts, and she ached to feel them again.

  Guinevere chose that moment to thrust her nose, then her entire head, between them.

  Esther looked down, startled, then gave a chuckle. Guinevere wormed between them, then sat.

  “Jealous, aren’t we?” Craig said. But he let go of Esther’s hand and scratched the dog behind the ears.

  Esther felt absurdly disappointed that he had been so ready to let go of her and turn his attention to the dog. That fire in his gaze must have been in her imagination. Well, of course! she told herself impatiently. He didn’t really want her! How many times was she going to have to bang her head on that wall before she accepted it?

  Turning swiftly away, she managed a laugh. “She’s very jealous. She thinks everyone in the world ought to pet her.”

  “I can understand that. Who doesn’t feel that way?”

  Before she got very far down the hall, he touched her shoulder gently. “Look at me, Esther?”

  Slowly, she faced him. Guin nudged her leg impatiently, but she ignored the dog. “Yes?”

  “Are you mad at me?”

  Surprised, she took a moment to marshal an answer. “No…”

  “Then why did you turn away like that?”

  Now how could she possibly answer that? Finally, setting her hands on her hips, she tilted her head to one side a
nd frowned at him. “It was time to leave. We’re going to town, aren’t we?”

  He looked as if he didn’t believe her, but he dropped the subject. “What about Guin? Do you cage her?”

  “Not since she was a puppy. She knows to behave herself, don’t you, girl?” She patted the dog’s head and began marching toward the door again, determined to get out of here before things got any stickier.

  Of course, it was hard to march with any real dignity when she kept limping, but oh well. Her natural humor began to reassert itself, and by the time she reached the front door, she was actually smiling.

  “Guin, you be a good girl and hold the fort while I’m gone, okay?”

  Guin sat and thumped her tail agreeably, watching calmly as Craig and Esther walked out.

  “I swear that dog understands every word you speak,” Craig said as they drove toward his place.

  “Of course she does. Doesn’t Mop?”

  “When it suits him. Oh, he’s a wonderful sheepdog, but off duty he’s a little stubborn and independent.”

  “Willfully deaf, you mean.”

  “That’s about it.”

  While Craig showered and changed, Paula took charge of Esther. They sat in the living room with glasses of iced tea while the children played down the hall in one of their bedrooms.

  “You like Craig, don’t you?” Paula asked her.

  “Yes. Of course. I like him very much.” Even that small admission brought heat to her cheeks.

  “My brother’s an exceptionally good man,” Paula said warmly. “That rape charge really wounded him. He hasn’t been quite the same since.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well…” Paula hesitated. “He lost so much. Even though they released him when they found the real rapist, he lost his trucking contract because he’d been in jail. And then he couldn’t get another one. I don’t know if it was because they think he really did hurt that little girl, or if it was because they decided he was unreliable because he was in jail. I don’t know. Craig doesn’t know.”

  “That’s awful!” Esther felt a sharp pang of sympathy for him.

  “So…” Paula shrugged. “He bought this ranch while he was still driving, and was saving up money so he could pay it off and buy sheep. Not because he wanted to ranch, because he didn’t. But because he wanted to bring my family off the reservation and give us a life. He always meant for us to come here someday and work and live. When he couldn’t find another trucking contract, he sold his truck and used all his savings and all the money from the truck to pay off the ranch, buy the sheep and move us down here.”

  Esther nodded, feeling her throat tighten.

  Paula sighed and pressed her lips together as if she were repressing tears. “Anyway,” she said after a moment, “he believes it’s better for the children to be raised here. I had my doubts at first. As awful as the res was in some ways, at least the kids would have been growing up among their own kind. They wouldn’t be a minority, you know?”

  Esther nodded. She could easily understand Paula’s concerns.

  “But, I guess he was right. Most people here are pretty nice. Nicer than the whites who live around the res. Mary started school this week, and everybody’s been really good to her. There’s the two Indian deputies, and one of the teachers at the school is an Indian, too, so…it’ll be all right. And here they have better food and better shelter.”

  Paula shook her head a little and looked away. “But Craig had to give up so much. That worries me. He always said he couldn’t stand to be nailed in one spot, and now he is. He gets this look to him sometimes, like he’s gonna die if he can’t get back on the road.

  “Anyway, he even had to give up his gaming.”

  “Gaming?”

  Paula looked surprised. “He didn’t tell you? He loves to war game. He has all these miniature armies that he’s painted so they look almost real, and he used to have a big sand table that he could arrange to match the ground where big battles were fought, and he’d reenact them. It took a lot of time and a lot of money, I guess, because he gave it up, put the soldiers away and took the sand table apart. He said it was because the kids needed a bedroom, but he used to cast the soldiers himself out of lead, and he doesn’t even do that any more. He says it’s because he doesn’t want the kids exposed to lead, but they wouldn’t get exposed to it, because his casting stuff is out in a shed. So it’s because we can’t afford it.”

  Esther nodded, not really sure what Paula meant by his war gaming. “You mean he has these little soldiers…?”

  “Like you see in a museum diorama,” Paula explained. “Very little figures of men.”

  “And he reenacts battles.”

  “Right. To see if when he changes something the outcome changes. There are rules that have to be followed. Oh, it’s all really complicated, but he plays by mail with some other men around the country, and he really enjoyed it.”

  It began to seem to Esther that Craig Nighthawk had sacrificed a great deal because of a crime he hadn’t committed…and because of his love for family. He was a rare man.

  Craig returned shortly, freshly showered and wearing carefully pressed jeans and a crisp white western shirt. In one hand he carried a duffel.

  “We’re outta here,” he said. “If you or Enoch need me for anything while I’m staying with Esther, give me a shout, Paula. I’ll come running.”

  “We’ll be just fine,” his sister assured him. “Just make sure that mean old man doesn’t hurt Esther.”

  It somehow felt different this time when Craig helped her up into the Jimmy. It wasn’t as if he were doing it because of her weak leg, but because she was his date.

  Which she wasn’t, really, she reminded herself sternly. They were just going out for dinner. He hadn’t asked her out. “Paula says you used to do a lot of war gaming.”

  “Paula talks too much. I suppose she also gave you my entire history, along with a copy of my immunization record.”

  A laugh bubbled out of Esther. “Not quite.”

  “No? No pictures of me running around with my diaper falling off? No first grade report cards covered with frantic teacher notes? No memories of how clumsy I was?”

  “Not a one.”

  “Hell, she’s slipping. I’ll have to talk to her.”

  Esther laughed again. “She’s just worried about you having to give up so much.”

  He looked over at her and shook his head. “I didn’t give up anything meaningful, when you come right down to it. And some things are a hell of a lot more important.”

  “You gave up your freedom.”

  Now that one was harder for him to answer, and she felt her heart begin to race uncomfortably as she waited. Not that she cared, really, because after all he would never be interested in her as more than a casual friend. But if he were unable to settle down happily…

  “Sometimes,” he said heavily, “I think I should have been born a gypsy. I’ve been suffering from wanderlust since— Well, ever since I can remember. It gets especially strong in the spring. I figure, all things being equal, that when we get the ranch on a sound footing and can afford to hire some help, I may look for a job as a long-haul driver again.”

  Esther had to confess that thought didn’t really thrill her. Somehow the thought of not seeing Craig for days or weeks on end just…hurt. Not that she would probably see all that much of him after her father left the county. He’d certainly have no reason to be stopping over all the time.

  “Anyway,” he told her, “it’s just a pipe dream, and I’m not really sure I’d even do it. Ranching isn’t so bad most of the time. “I’ll just be a whole lot happier when we’ve got a little cushion built up.”

  “I can imagine.” Well, she didn’t know exactly what to make of that. He missed trucking, but he hadn’t exactly said he would die without it. “So what about war gaming?”

  At that he laughed and shook his head. “I’ll bet that sister of mine tried to make me sound like some kind of m
artyr, which I’m not. Never have been. Sometimes life just deals some tough cards. You do what’s necessary to take care of your obligations and then worry about other things when you have time. I’m sure as hell not sitting around getting bitter about the past, or even moping. In fact, except for my sister’s big mouth, I’d be having a great time right now.”

  Esther could hardly pursue the subject after that. Smiling, she let it drop, but she figured Paula had been closer to the truth than Craig wanted her to know.

  When they got to town, they were able to find a parking place only a half block up the street from Maude’s diner. Craig came round to help her down.

  Esther hesitated, because the curb was in the perfect position that if she didn’t land just right she was going to fall. It was too close to the car for her to step down to the street, and too far away for her to easily step onto it. Craig solved the problem by holding out hands.

  “May I?”

  She bit her lip and nodded, allowing him to take her around the waist and lift her to the sidewalk.

  “There you go.”

  Perhaps someone somewhere would be able to explain to Esther what happened just then, but as it was she could only put it down to extraordinary meanness. A man who was walking down the street looked toward them with a sneer.

  “Hey, Injun,” he said. “Moving on from kids to cripples?”

  Chapter 11

  For Esther, time abruptly slowed down. As if every detail were suddenly magnified, she saw Craig’s nostrils flare and a white line suddenly appear around his lips. In the merest instant she knew what was about to happen. Craig was going to turn and confront the obnoxious ass, and the situation would only get messier. He might even get hurt. In the blink of an eye, she forgot her fear of men in an urgent desire to prevent violence that might hurt Craig.

  She turned swiftly, heedless of her lame leg, and confronted the man herself. Pointing her finger at him, she said, “How dare you! This man was cleared of all part in that terrible crime! And what’s more, I am not a cripple! You, however, are apparently suffering from a severe defect of manners and intelligence. Now get out of here before I get really angry!”