FILTHY SINS_Sons of Wolves MC

by Nicole Fox

  “I get it.” Park took a deep draught of his beer and chucked the bottle in a nearby trash can. “I knew I could count on you, Skid. I always can.”

  Most of the men were in the living room or the garage, watching television or fixing bikes and listening to music. Skid didn’t feel like doing anything social. He couldn’t be with Mina, and she was the only person he wanted to be with. Instead, he trudged up to his room and sat on the edge of the bed, trying to figure out just how he was going to do this.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Mina

  “I can’t thank you enough for taking me!” Mina exclaimed for the fifth time as they came in the door of the clubhouse with their arms loaded with shopping bags. “That was so much fun!”

  Rose, an older club girl who was more like a mother to most of the men than anything else, smiled. She had once been a beautiful woman, but the years were beginning to take their toll. Though she still carefully dyed her blonde hair to cover up the gray that was beginning to show, and was never seen without her makeup, Rose was definitely not just some young girl. “I was glad to do it. I can’t remember how long it’s been since I got to shop for a baby, but all those little tiny socks are just too much fun.” She sat next to Mina on the couch and began going through their haul.

  Mina smiled. She’d had almost the entire club against her about this pregnancy, and Rose had suddenly come out of the woodwork and asked to take her shopping. It had been such a welcome surprise. She couldn’t bring Skid along with her for anything, and Rose had always been kind. The fact that the older woman already had permission from Park lent itself to the theory that Rose was Park’s secret lover, but that was an avenue Mina didn’t want to travel down. Some secrets were best left uncovered.

  “What else do you think I need? I’ve read a few articles online, but it seems like there’s so much … equipment. A bassinet, a crib, a mobile, a changing station, a diaper pail, a walker, a stroller, a car seat, the lists just go on and on. How much stuff can one little baby really need?”

  Rose smiled as she pulled a soft white blanket out of a bag and carefully removed the tags. “A lot, but I think it’s more these days than it used to be. Some of it’s going to depend on the baby, too. Some are more demanding than others, or fussier. I remember my sister’s little girl wouldn’t sleep a wink. It didn’t matter how much she tried, Lacey couldn’t get that baby to lie down and go to sleep for anything. She finally bought this battery-operated cradlette and a white noise machine. Lacey went through a lot of batteries, but she had to do what was necessary not to lose her mind.”

  “That sounds awful,” Mina replied with a frown. “Why wouldn’t her baby sleep?”

  “It’s just how they are sometimes.” Rose looked at Mina and patted her leg. “Oh, don’t let that worry you. I’m sure everything will be just wonderful.”

  For the first time, Mina wasn’t so sure. She hadn’t thought about having a baby beyond the aspects of pregnancy, birth, and snuggling in a rocking chair. “You know, I’ve never even changed a diaper before. How am I going to do this?” A wave of panic washed up over her back and settled on her skin, a prickly, uncomfortable feeling that made her feel hot.

  “If every other woman on the planet can do it, then there’s certainly no reason you can’t. Besides, your father has changed plenty of diapers in his day, and for that matter so have I. You aren’t alone in this, Mina. Not at all. And I think you’ll find that you just know what to do. I did, when I had my son.”

  Mina set down a onesie and looked at her. “I didn’t even realize you had a son.” It pained her to realize just how little she knew about the other members of the club, even though she had been part of the Legion her entire life. Maybe she really had been the selfish, spoiled little brat that everyone seemed to think she was.

  “Oh, yes. I had him young, honey, when I was far too young to be thinking about starting a family. But like every other young girl, I had to just knuckle down and get through it. Jeffrey was a pleasant baby, so my struggles were all financial. Babies are expensive, and he was no exception. The father wasn’t willing to help at all, and my parents were angry with me for being a teen mother. I did my best, though.” Rose’s face softened as she reflected on her son.

  “Where is he now?” Mina couldn’t remember meeting him, and she hoped she wasn’t making a fool out of herself by asking.

  “Well, when he got into his teen years his father started coming around again. It made me really mad at first. I mean, I was the one who had worked so hard to raise him. But Jack had sobered up and said he wished he hadn’t missed out on so much with Jeffrey. After a year or so, my son wanted to go live with his father. He was old enough that there was no point in fighting it, because he could just go to court and tell the judge what he wanted. I let him go, and that was when I came to the Legion. I needed a good distraction.”

  Pressing her lips together, Mina wondered if Skid would stay true even once the baby was born. No, she couldn’t think like that. Of course, he would. He would never be like Rose’s ex, and they would have things sorted out with Park well before the baby came. “Did you get to see him after that?”

  “Any time I wanted to, but he was always busy. I went to his basketball games and showed up to take pictures of him at prom. He’s an adult, now, and he doesn’t have a whole lot of time for me. He’s too busy with his career and his love life.”

  Mina blinked as tears sprang to her eyes unbidden. “That’s awful.”

  “No, honey, that’s real. And it’s not a bad thing. I miss him, sure, but it’s healthy for a child to grow up and leave the nest. He’ll have kids of his own someday, and I know he’ll call me asking what to do. It’s like a big circle, and you just have to be patient while you get around to the other side of it.” Rose waved off her thoughts. “But you don’t need to think about any of that for a long time, Mina. Your baby will be stuck up your nose so much you won’t know what to do with it.”

  “Okay.” She wasn’t completely convinced, but her elation at shopping for baby clothes was no longer with her. “I just never realized that it was like that. I never really thought about the future much. I want a home with my baby and with the man I love.”

  “You love him?” Rose asked gently.

  “I do. I have for a long time. Ever since he joined the club, I couldn’t stop thinking about him, with that jet-black hair…” She caught herself, realizing she was about to give her secret away. “I just hope I get a chance at that.”

  Though she now knew more than anyone else did, Rose didn’t seem inclined to run off to Park and tattle. “I hope you do, too. Now, let’s get all these into the wash. We’ll have them all ready to go for when the baby gets here, even though that’s quite a way off yet.”

  “Can’t,” said a voice from behind them.

  Mina swiveled to find Jewel standing behind the couch with a smirk on her face. “I just put a big load of greasy rags in there, so you’ll have to wait.”

  “How long have you been in here?” Mina demanded. “I didn’t hear you come in the door.” Several others were coming into the living room as well, and she was grateful that Rose had already gathered her new purchases back into the bags.

  “Long enough.” She arched one eyebrow and smacked her gum loudly as she turned to Animal, who was heading for the kitchen. “Animal, sweetie, take me for a ride.”

  “But I was just going to get a sandwich,” he protested, his thumb over his shoulder toward the fridge.

  “It can wait,” Jewel snapped. “Let’s go.”

  With heavy footsteps that rattled the floor, Animal went to the garage with Jewel on his heels.

  “Don’t worry about her,” Rose remarked as she led Mina toward the stairs. “That girl’s always been a bitch. I wish I’d seen it when you decked her.”

  Mina couldn’t help but laugh. “At least it kept her quiet for a while.” She wondered for a moment why Animal would jump at Jewel’s orders, but the answer was too obvious. They were
sleeping together, and he didn’t want to cut off his source of satisfaction.

  When the bags were all arranged on the bottom of Mina’s closet, she turned once again to Rose. “You won’t tell anyone what I said, will you?”

  “Cross my heart.” Rose smiled and left, closing the door behind her.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Skid

  It didn’t seem to matter how many times he met with Stomper, Skid always felt a little anxious as he pulled up to The Billy Goat. He had been doing as his president had asked and had been having regular meetings with the leader of the Sons of Chaos, but that didn’t mean it was getting any easier.

  The smoky interior of the bar was becoming familiar, with its floor full of sawdust and the dark corners where anything illegal was likely to happen. Once, he had stayed late enough that the staff had turned on the lights to start cleaning. It had made him realize just what a dump this place was, but he had no choice but to continue returning.

  “Skid! You’re back again! Pete, let’s have another round for my men!” Stomper slapped Skid on the arm as he sat down. “I tell ya, this is even better than the old days. I always liked hanging out with you, but it’s a lot better when we can just drink and go home without worrying about getting blown up the next day.” He threw back his head and laughed, and his men did the same.

  Skid had a feeling they only did so because they wanted Stomper to keep them around, and not because he’d said anything funny. “That’s true, but hanging out in this asshole of a place doesn’t give me a nice tan like Iraq did.”

  The men laughed again, and Stomper leaned in close. “I’ve been thinking a lot, Skid. I need a man like you on my side again. There are enemies everywhere, even though we’ve come back to the States. Sure, I’ve got some good guys in my club, but it just isn’t the same. Why don’t you come with us? We’ll ride out and find ourselves a whole new adventure.”

  Accepting the full beer from the scantily clad waitress who brought it to him, Skid eyeballed the blond man. “Is that why you’ve been hanging around Chicago so much? You were just trying to recruit me?” He meant the words, but he knew Stomper would take them as a joke. Everything was a joke to him.

  “Yep, that’s it. I just came here to romance you. Everyone knows you’re the only reason Satan’s Legion has such a tight hold on Chicago. You’re the key to dominance. Men listen to you. Why, I could be running the entire state of Illinois before you know it.” Stomper grinned and took a swig of his beer.

  Skid bit his tongue on a “yes, sir.” Old habits died hard, and old loyalties died even harder. There was no way Stomper was even a fraction as good of a leader as Park had been. But if the circumstances had been different, he knew he would have found himself riding off with the Sons of Chaos in an instant. If they had met up once Stomper had gotten out of the army, Skid probably never would have joined the Legion at all. No Park, and no Mina. It was a cold and uncertain destiny, one that he didn’t like to think about. “It’s flattering and all, but you know I can’t leave the Legion.”

  “Huh. I had a feeling you would say that. That’s just the type of guy you are.”

  Skid scowled at the other man. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Calm down. It’s not an insult or anything.” Stomper spread his fingers wide and flattened his hand toward the surface of the table, as though he could change Skid’s mood by simply telling him to do so. “I just mean that you’ve always been so loyal. You’re a true patriot, and that’s what made you a good soldier. There’s no reason that shouldn’t translate into your civilian life.”

  “I guess that much is true.” Skid downed the rest of his beer and frowned at the foam in the bottom. He wasn’t going to drink much since he knew he still needed to get back to the clubhouse, but one more couldn’t hurt. He signaled to the waitress. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course. Anything. I’m an open book.” The smile that folded back the corners of Stomper’s mouth stretched his skin and showed just how leathery his face had become.

  “Why are you here? I mean, I don’t mind. It’s great to be able to see you again, and I’m glad you’ve found a group of people you belong with. But we don’t usually see other clubs in this area, and certainly not for so long. Don’t you have some place to go? Some place you’re headed?” There were some clubs who did nothing but ride, moving from place to place and shacking up wherever they could fit themselves. He had been grateful that Satan’s Legion wasn’t like that. The open road was wonderful, but only for so long.

  “Are you sure you don’t mind? You sound a little miffed, like we might be encroaching on your territory. We’re not Viking raiders, Skid, here to steal your gold and your women. We’re just seeing what the place is like. If I get to hang out with my old buddy in the process, then it’s all the better.”

  Skid couldn’t help but frown at the idea of one of the Sons of Chaos stealing his woman, even if he hadn’t proclaimed his ownership of her out loud. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. My head’s just been in a weird place lately. I thought I had everything figured out until you came along.” The waitress brought him another beer, and he sank down the first third of it in one gulp.

  “Does that mean you’ll at least consider joining me?” Stomper asked hopefully.

  “I don’t know what it means,” Skid replied truthfully. “When I got out, they said I had PTSD. They set me up for counseling sessions with this therapist who was supposed to help me. At first, I thought that was a pretty good idea. It’s tough leaving a war and coming home to what’s supposed to be peace. But this therapist, you should have seen her.” Skid laughed humorlessly. “She was this little blonde thing, fresh out of college, all tender and soft. She’d probably never had a worse thing happen to her than a flat tire or her boyfriend dumping her. I didn’t care how much education she had under her belt, I knew there was no way she could help me. She didn’t know. She didn’t understand.”

  “That’s how they get you, Skid. They claim they’re helping you, but they’re just keeping you appeased so you won’t complain. Most guys would probably just be happy to spend the hour in the company of a beautiful woman, and who could blame them?” Stomper slammed the side of his fist on the table, making several of his men look over at them. “But it doesn’t do any good, not in the long run.”

  “I’m happy to see you, Stomper, but I had to work hard to put all of that behind me. As proud as I had been to enlist, I was more than done with the whole thing when I came back. I moved on. Now, it’s like I can’t keep it out of my brain.” There was more to it than the memories of war, and Skid knew that. There was Mina, and her father, and the coming baby. What the hell was he going to do with his life? What was he going to do when the baby was there, and everyone knew it was his? What would he do when he could no longer be part of Satan’s Legion anymore? But he couldn’t quite bring himself to let that all out in front of Stomper. He had to hold something back, at least.

  “It’s never going to go away,” Stomper agreed. He looked off toward the wall of the bar, but his eyes were seeing something thousands of miles away. “If I’m lucky enough to live to be an old man, I’ll still be seeing innocent people dying in front of my eyes. I’ll still be putting a hand over my drink to keep the sand out of it. I’ll still be swerving to avoid a piece of trash in the road because I’m afraid it might be an explosive.”

  The two of them sat there for a long moment in silence, thinking about how miserable they were and yet grateful that they had someone to share it with. Skid knew that both Park and Mina had learned a little bit about his time in the war from that conversation in his room, but they could never know all of it. Maybe he should tell her. Maybe he should let her know everything he had seen and done, every man he had ever killed, so she would really know what she was getting into. Mina would go running for the hills if she was smart, and Skid couldn’t blame her.

  “I ought to get going,” Skid finally said, his voice sounding too l
oud despite the wailing jukebox in the corner. “I have things to do tomorrow.”

  Stomper nodded and raised his glass, but he caught Skid by the sleeve before he could leave. “The invitation is always there, man. If you need me, you just let me know.”

  “I’ll do that.” His steps were a little wobbly as he returned to his bike, and the roaring of the engine seemed loud and annoying. He shook his face as he picked up speed and the cool evening air washed over him, ready for it to sober him up a little and return him to the real world, the reality he had worked so hard to build for himself.

  It was late when he got back to the clubhouse, and most of the other members had gone to bed. The television played quietly to a sleeping Grill on the couch, and Skid let him lie. He stumbled up the stairs to find his room, but the floor didn’t quite seem to want to cooperate.

  He rested his hand on the doorknob but didn’t want to turn it. What waited for him behind that door? A room that held his few possessions, but nothing else. There was no warmth there, no happiness, nothing that he felt committed to.