The Return of the Rebel
Page 15
“And that explains the withdrawals from his bank accounts that no one could account for.”
“I’m sorry.” He felt really bad for upsetting the family. “I never meant to take away your inheritance. I was young and I hadn’t thought through his generous offer. All I could envision was an escape from an unhappy life.”
“Don’t be.” Her words shocked him. “If anyone should understand about rushing off to chase your dreams without thinking about what it took to get you there—it’s me.”
“Does this mean you believe me about the money and the pocket watch?” He held his breath waiting for her confirmation.
“You know, it’s almost like my grandfather knew something all those years ago that we didn’t have a clue about. It’s like he knew someday we’d find our way together.” She held up the watch. “And this is like his blessing for us.”
She was being a bit dramatic, but he had to admit that he liked the idea. “You really think your grandfather would approve of you being in my arms?”
She nodded and smiled up at him.
Jax stood and drew her up into his embrace. He never ever wanted to let her go. She fit so perfectly against him. It was as though she’d been made just for him.
She pulled back and looked into his eyes. “What did you come in here to tell me?”
“That’s right. I have good news.” He paused, thinking about kissing her now and saving the talking for later. “But it can wait.”
He leaned forward, but she pressed a hand to his chest. “It can’t wait. I need to know what’s happening.”
Jax tightened his hold on her, not wanting the moment to end, but realized he might as well get this out of the way. “Okay. Apparently ape man wasn’t a hired thug. He’s actually the brother of my former partner. He was a one-man team out to protect the goose that laid his golden egg. Now that he’s been arrested, we don’t have to worry.”
“Are you certain?”
“Positive. He confessed.”
Cleo threw her arms around Jax and hugged him tight. But instead of following it up with the kiss he’d been anticipating, she pulled back and gave him a serious look.
“What does this mean?”
He brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. “As tempting as it is to stay, we can’t go on living here forever. Eventually my friend will want his house back.”
“I suppose you’re right. Even if it’s the fanciest house I’ve ever been in. Do we have to leave now?”
Jax shook his head. There was absolutely no other place he wanted to be. “I think we can stay another night.”
“Good.” She snuggled closer to him. “I’m just so glad you’re safe.”
“How glad?” He smiled and glanced at her very kissable lips.
In the next moment, her mouth pressed to his. She was bold and persuasive, leaving no doubt of what she had on her mind. And he liked it. He liked it a whole lot.
He met her move for move, needing to feel their closeness once more. As she opened up to him, she tasted of chocolate. It had never tasted so good. A moan grew deep in his throat.
Things were about to change for them. They could move forward—think about the future. And the past could fall away behind them. They could make their own memories starting with today.
Because with Cleo, he was alive. She cared about him as no one else ever had. The knowledge sealed the hole in his heart—the empty spot where the love of a family was supposed to be. Cleo was all of the family he’d ever need.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“JAX, YOU MISSED my street.”
He glanced in the rearview mirror as the street sign faded into the distance. He’d been distracted by the way her hand rested on his leg. “Sorry. I’ll turn around.”
“No need. You can just circle the block.” There was a slight pause. “It’s great to be going home. Don’t get me wrong. Staying in a movie star’s mansion was an experience I’ll never forget. It sure is a long way from Hope Springs, Wyoming.”
“Is that good or bad?”
“Part of me misses Hope Springs, but another part doesn’t want to be stuck in that small town for the rest of my life. There are so many places to see and things to do.”
“You know, your fashion designs could be the key to having the best of both worlds.”
“You think so?” He nodded and she continued, “But I haven’t even shown anyone my drawings.”
This was his moment to confess what he’d been up to while she’d been drawing. He just hoped she approved. If not, this might very well be the last time she talked to him and that thought knotted his gut.
“Actually I’ve been told by an expert that you have amazing talent and a bright future, if you pursue it.”
“What? But how?” There was a pause as though she was trying to make sense of things. “Jax, what did you do?”
He pulled into a parking spot, put the SUV in Park and turned off the engine. He rubbed his head, suddenly in doubt of his actions, which was so unlike him. He was a man of decision—split-second decisions. That was how he’d been able to amass a fortune.
But when it came to Cleo, he felt constantly off-kilter. But surely she’d be happy about this, right? No point in delaying the inevitable.
“I sent some of your sketches to a friend of a friend. And I included a picture of you in that yellow outfit you had on at the casino.”
“You didn’t?” She looked at him as though she was waiting for him to say he was joking.
“Cleo, I’m serious. I sent your stuff to an industry professional. He is interested in meeting with you.”
“Why didn’t you ask me first?”
“I thought about it, but I didn’t know how it’d work out. I mean, I’m no judge of fashion. I just know what I like—”
“So if this expert didn’t like what they saw, you didn’t want to hurt me.”
He nodded, relieved that she understood his motive. “Exactly. I have his name and number written down.” Jax reached into his pocket and withdrew the slip of paper. “He’s expecting your call.”
“I should be upset with you for going behind my back, but I’m grateful. Thank you. You’re the first person since my grandmother to believe I could make my dreams come true without just settling for what is expected of me.”
He reached out for her hand and took it in his own. “You can do whatever you set your mind to. And I’m going to enjoy watching you succeed.”
She leaned over and hugged him. His heart pounded beneath her cheek. What had he ever done to be lucky enough to have someone so special in his life?
Cleo lifted her head and looked at him. “But next time you have a brilliant idea, talk to me first. Agreed?”
He expelled a pent-up breath. “Agreed.”
“Now let’s get inside. Charlie is anxious to get out of this carrier.”
Jax dashed out the door and strode around the front of the vehicle to assist her. “Would you mind taking Charlie while I grab my crutches? We can come back out later for the rest of our stuff. Not that there’s a lot of it.”
He did as she asked and escorted her up the walk. Cleo smiled and greeted the other people coming and going. This place was crawling with young people, from college students to young mothers with strollers. He could imagine Cleo fitting in well here.
“I’ve never had a houseguest before.” Cleo sent him a hesitant glance. “You’ll be my first. I wish I’d known you were staying. I’d have cleaned up some.”
Staying? Here? With her? Like an honest-to-goodness couple? The reality of the situation was setting in and all of the uncertainties in the back of his mind came rushing forth—from the potential for his cancer to return to her mother’s dislike of him. Jax shoved the doubts away. After all, this was what he wanted—Cleo in his life.
Before they could say much else, Robyn exited her apartment. She was pushing a pink baby stroller in their direction.
“Oh, look! Robyn has her daughter all dressed up in an outfit I made her.” Cleo picked up her pace on the crutches.
“Welcome home.” The young woman’s face lit up with a broad smile. “Stephie is wide-awake and anxious for Auntie Cleo to visit with her.”
Cleo stopped and leaned over the stroller. “Hey, cutie, aren’t you adorable.”
Jax had never seen Cleo with a baby. Her whole demeanor changed. She almost glowed as she oohed and ahhed over the child. What was it about babies that could affect women of all ages so deeply?
Jax stood back as the women went on and on about the baby. He tried his best to act as if nothing was bothering him, but inside their words were shattering the dreams he’d had about his future—a future with Cleo. With each laugh and smile, his hopes were splintering into shards that cut deep.
What made him think Cleo would fit into his predetermined world?
She was still so young and full of possibilities. His life choices had been drastically narrowed when he’d received his cancer diagnosis. Having a family of his own was not an option for him.
Aside from the question of the lifesaving treatments causing fertility issues, he wouldn’t subject his child to the uncertainty of his cancer making a recurrence. He knew the agony of being a child and losing a parent. He didn’t want to pass on that unhappy legacy.
Cleo had him thinking about all sorts of things he’d never thought about before. Like moving to Las Vegas instead of Hope Springs. He’d let himself get caught up in the moment. First the doctor called with the news that his test results were good and then he’d given in to his desires. It’d been like the fall of dominoes—one thing leading to another. And now Cleo was expecting him to make her happy and as much as he wanted to do just that, he couldn’t.
The truth of the matter was he lived a life of uncertainty. It was bad enough that he had to live every day with a big question mark over his head. It wasn’t fair to ask Cleo to give up her chance to be a mother to live with a man who could become sick again.
The best thing he could do for Cleo was walk away. Forget his dreams of making a future with her. He’d never felt so awful about a decision as he did now. How was he supposed to walk away from the woman whose smile could light up his whole world? He couldn’t even imagine his life without her in it. But it wasn’t as if he had a choice. He had to do what was best for her.
And that wasn’t him.
He carried her belongings into the apartment and Cleo followed him. When she closed the front door, the walls seemed to close in on him. He didn’t belong here. He didn’t belong with her.
She proceeded to give him the grand tour of her two-bedroom apartment. “And this is my sewing room. Don’t mind the mess. I’ve been working on an order for Robyn. Her older sister is pregnant and she wanted me to make some clothes and stitch up a comforter like I’d done for Stephie.”
His gaze took in the array of baby blue, yellow and green fabrics. The knife of guilt stabbed at him for even considering asking Cleo to spend her life with him. And when she held up little bib overalls and her face scrunched up into a huge smile as if she was imagining her own baby someday in the outfit, he couldn’t breathe.
He needed to leave. He needed space. Someplace where the pain wasn’t so severe. Where there weren’t reminders of everything he’d never have.
“I’ve got to go.” He started for the door.
“Leave? Where are you going? I thought you’d stay here until your flight to New York.”
“I—I can’t.”
“What’s wrong? You’ve been acting strange ever since we got here.”
He wanted to walk away without her hating him. The thought of her looking at him with loathing in her eyes made his stomach roil. There had to be a way to part on good terms. After all, soon he’d return to New York.
Maybe that was the answer. He could remind her that they led separate lives miles from each other. In no time, she’d get on with her life. She’d forget him. With her beauty, she could have any guy she set her heart on.
“I’m just tired.” He could feel her staring at him, trying to guess if he was telling the whole truth or not. “I thought I’d go back to the casino and make sure things are squared away there.”
“The casino?” A frown pulled at her face. “Are you tired of me?”
The sadness in her eyes cracked his resolve. “Of course not. I just... We can’t pretend that my life is here. I belong in New York. I have the court case coming up. I can’t back out now. Too much is at stake.”
Her eyes shimmered. “This thing that happened between us. Are you saying it was all a lie?”
He shook his head. “It was a beautiful dream. One I will always treasure.”
“Then why?” Her voice cracked with emotion. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because it isn’t fair to you.” The truth came tumbling out. “I can’t tie you down to a life with a cancer patient.”
“But you’re cured. You said your tests were clear.”
“But if it spread once there’s no reason to think that it might not recur. And I can’t put you through that. Living with this uncertainty is horrible.”
“But we can lean on each other. We can get through it together.”
She had an answer for everything. But he had something she couldn’t fix.
“And I can’t give you children.”
“I don’t want kids.” She said it way too fast—like a needy child desperate to say anything to get what they wanted without thinking of the ramification of their words.
“Your lips say one thing but your body says something else. I watched you just moments ago with that baby. I never saw that peaceful look on your face before. You were in your element. You practically glowed.”
“But...but—”
“There’s no but for this. I’ve tried to do this as nice as I could but you won’t let go. Cleo, your mother was right. I’m not the man for you. I take what I want and I wanted you.”
“Because you love me.”
He stilled himself, holding back the rush of emotions. He’d never lied to her, ever—until now. But it was necessary. It was for her own good. But when he searched for the words to deny his love for her, his voice failed him.
She stepped up to him and stabbed him in the chest. “You can’t deny it because it’s true. We’ve shared so much. We’re building something. We...we’re falling in love.”
“This is all my fault. I’m selfish and an uncaring jerk.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is, or I wouldn’t be putting you through this.”
In that particular moment, he hated himself for hurting her. He wasn’t deserving of her love.
He dipped his head and planted a quick kiss to her cheek. “Have a good life. You deserve the best.”
He turned and started walking. He had to get away before she wore through the last of his resistance. She had no idea how hard it was to act as if he didn’t care about her when his heart thumped out her name with every beat.
It was only after he was headed down the sidewalk to the SUV that he realized they’d done this scene once before...long ago when he left Hope Springs. Back then he was walking away from one of his dearest friends. This time he was walking away from the woman who held his heart in her hands.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
UNABLE TO SLEEP since Jax walked out the door, Cleo found herself spending all of her time in her sewing room. It was where she lost herself when the
world turned dark and gray. And thanks to her sketch pad, she had plenty of creations to keep her hands busy. But her mind kept stumbling back to Jax.
She wanted to yell at him and tell him that he didn’t know what she was thinking, but the truth was he had been pretty accurate. She’d blurted out that she didn’t want kids in desperation to keep him from leaving.
It pained her to admit it, but she was doing exactly what she promised herself she wouldn’t do. She was making a monumental decision based on what Jax wanted—not what she wanted. And that was a recipe for disaster.
Jax had been right to turn down her plea. She didn’t know how she felt about kids. In all honesty, she hadn’t given the subject much thought. At this point in her life, she still had lots of time to start a family—if she chose to.
She found herself in Robyn’s living room to drop off the baby items Robyn had ordered for her sister’s upcoming baby shower and yet somehow Cleo had ended up staying for a chat. While she waited for her friend to return with the coffee, she pulled her grandfather’s pocket watch from her pocket. Her thumb rubbed over the engraved design.
She’d found the watch in her duffel bag she’d brought back from the mansion. She knew for certain she hadn’t placed it in there because she’d given it back to Jax. Obviously her grandfather had loved Jax and wanted him to have the watch. The fact that Jax still had it and hadn’t sold it as her grandfather had given him liberty to do was a tribute to Jax’s feelings for him.
No man who was selfish and uncaring would carry around a memento and then hand it over to her because he saw how much it meant to her. Only a man with a heart of gold would be that thoughtful and generous.
“What’s that in your hand?” Robyn asked as she placed a cup of steaming coffee in front of her.
“It belongs to Jax. He forgot it.”
“He’ll be missing it. You should catch up to him before he heads to the airport.”
“Maybe.” But she still had something to get straight in her mind before she faced Jax. “How did you know if you wanted kids?”