Rafe

by Amy Davies

  I walk around to see them all snuggled up together watching a movie and chatting away. “Hey guys. What you watching?” I ask, as I make my way over to them. Gunner sits up and pats his lap for me to join them. I crawl onto Gunner’s lap and place my feet over Monty’s. I spy my pint of ice cream on the coffee table, might I say, empty pint of ice cream.

  “Sorry, Luce. I really wanted ice cream and that is what was left in the fridge.” She gives me her best Monty smile, trying to butter me up. I fake a scowl at her and we laugh.

  “It’s okay, but you owe me girly.” Gunner chuckles and I turn to him. I poke him in the chest. “You Mister Gunnerson, don’t you laugh. You owe me just as much as our girl over there,” I point to Monty. “No doubt you ate my ice cream, which you know if my fave...with her.” I lower my voice but after last night I know I owe them both an explanation. “I’m sorry for running out on you guys…” I’m cut off by a knock on the door. I look at Gunner and see he senses that I’m not looking forward to seeing the person knocking. Maisey jumps up.

  “I’ll get it,” she says, darting towards the door. I look back to Gunner and I try to stop my bottom lip from trembling. He hugs me tighter. God I love this dude, best big brother stand in ever.

  “Lucy it’s, Rafe. Um, he wants to know if he can come in and explain.” I nod and she calls him in. I climb off Gunner’s lap and sit on the loveseat. Gunner stand and gives Rafe a manly hug, then sits back down.

  “Rafe I love you like a brother but what you have to say to Coop, you say in front of me, okay?” He gives Rafe a stern look. I look over to see Rafe nod and then he takes a seat on the couch closest to me. Rafe goes to speak but I hold my hand up to stop him.

  “Maisey, take a seat babe. Before Rafe says his peace, I need to explain about last night.” I take a deep breath and look back to them. “Rafe knows all of this because he was a part of it all. I have known Rafe and all the Phoenix family all my life. I dated a guy my senior year named Dallas,” Rafe mutters ‘Prick’ under his breath, but keeps his head down. “Let’s put it this way, he was the wrong kinda guy to have been with. Dallas was all kinds of wrong, but I was rebelling. My parents were putting a lot of pressure on me to get good grades and when they didn’t approve of me dating Dallas, it pushed me towards him more. I started dressing differently and wearing stupid ass makeup,” I chuckled to myself and smiled at them.

  “So, was my Honey Bear was a total skank, Goth-type girl?” Gunner winks at me and I smile.

  “Yeah, Gun. I was a skank just to get the rich dumbass boy. How pathetic is that?”

  “Was he hot, Coop?” Typical of Maisey to bring that up. I nod and smile. I look at Rafe, who is clenching his fists so tight they are white. I place my hand on his knee and I see him relax a little.

  “What the fuck has that got to do with it babe? He treated our girl like shit from what I can tell,” Gunner replies to her.

  “Calm down, Kirky,” I smirk at him and he scowls at me. He hates me calling him by his given name. “He was good looking but like I said, he was all kinds of wrong. Anyway, a few weeks before we finished high school I found out I was pregnant with Dallas’s baby. I hadn’t told anyone that I was pregnant, as I didn’t know what I was going to do.” I look at Rafe and he nods his head, telling me to carry on. My heart is racing a mile a minute. “At the end of school we always had a field bonfire to celebrate. Everyone from our year was there plus others from our area. I was there with Trin and Kenzie, but I knew that Dallas was going to be there. I needed space and was sitting by myself when I spotted him talking to the school whore, Dani Basset.” Gunner looks at Rafe and he gives him a slight nod. What’s that about? “What? Rafe, what the fuck was that nod to Gunner about?” Rafe looks at me and closes his eyes and takes a deep breathe.

  “Babe, Dani is here. She goes to SoCal now; she transferred in.”

  “You’re fucking with me, right? What the hell?” I get up and start pacing backing and forth. “Fuck me.” I take a deep breath. Shit, I need a drink. I head to the kitchen, open the fridge and grab a bottle of Corona. I turn and lean against the counter and see Monty, Gunner and Rafe take a seat at our dining table. “I’m sorry, I guess I should finish explaining, yeah?” Monty gives me a tight smile and nods her head. I take a seat between Rafe and Monty.

  “After spotting, Dallas and Dani talking and groping, I decided enough was enough. I made my way over to them and Dallas saw me coming and thought it would be fun to humiliate me in front of everyone. He started making out with the fucking whore,” I shake my head trying to get the image out of my mind. “After we had words…” Rafe cuts me off with a laugh.

  “It was so fucking funny. Ryder told me that Snowflake called him ‘Ten second Dallas’. That was funny as fuck, babe.” We all chuckle.

  “That’s my girl,” Gunner states. I see Rafe give him a small frown.

  “What’s with the ‘Snowflake’ pet name for Lucy, Rafe?” Maisey asks him. And he actually blushes. Wow. I didn’t think the Phoenix boys had it in them. I tilt my head, waiting for an answer. He coughs a little and explains.

  He shrugs, “It’s because there is only one Lucy Cooper. She is unique and beautiful while being a solid soul. Like a snowflake.” Fuck. Me. His answer blows me away and I don’t know how to respond. So I change the subject back to my explanation.

  “As I was saying, after our words I walked away and dumped his ass. But as I was walking I started getting sharp pains in my stomach. I ignored it at first but it hit again and was much worse. The pain caused me to fall to the floor. I was wearing denim shorts and I thought I had fallen into a puddle as my thighs were wet but…” Maisey cuts me off with a gasp and she covers her mouth with her hands and shakes her head. I run my hand up and down her arm. I look at Gunner, who has unshed tears in his eyes. Rafe places his hand on mine and I continue. “I knew in my heart that I was losing the baby. That’s where Mr. Phoenix here comes into it. Rafe saved me that night; I could have bled to death if Rafe hadn’t found me and taken me to the ER. I was fourteen weeks pregnant when I lost him. We were told that as I was a certain amount of weeks I was able to find out the sex from blood tests and so we did.”

  I look at Maisey, who is crying quietly on Gunners lap. “We were told a few days later that I was carrying a boy.” I look at Rafe and grip his hand tighter. “I’m sorry, Rafe. My parents wanted a memorial for him and I wanted to name him.” After taking a deep breath I tell him.

  “I named him Shane, Rafe.”

  Chapter 6

  Rafe

  My breath gets caught in my throat from Lucy’s revelation. She named the baby after Shane. Fuck! Shane was my best friend in high school, but I know he was also very close to Lucy. I actually met Lucy through Shane. We were both on the soccer team until I blew my knee out. It took so long to recover it was easier to quit but Shane made captain of the team. The summer before our senior year, Shane was in a car accident with his parents and sister. A driver fell asleep at the wheel and smashed right into them, Shane’s dad didn’t see it coming. Shane’s parents and younger sister Jena survived but Shane died a few days later due to complications. I remember seeing Lucy at the hospital, sitting in the waiting room in the days leading up to Shane leaving us. I also remember seeing Lucy at Shane’s funeral, she looked so lost. I think that’s when her behavior went downhill and Dallas came into the picture, she won’t admit that though.

  I feel a warm hand on my arm and it brings me back to the now. I see my Snowflake’s warm petite hand on my tanned arm. I look up at her with blurry eyes and blink my unshed tears away but it’s no good, a few tears spill over and run down my cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Rafe. It just seemed the best thing to do. You know I loved him like a brother, and I know you loved him too.” I nod agreeing with her because it’s true. Shane was like a third brother to me.

  “It’s okay, Lucy. Yeah, we both loved him. Your son deserved his name.” I remember her tattoo on the back of her neck. “Is that what your tattoo is for?”
I say, reaching over and placing my hand on the back of her neck. As my hand touches her skin she shivers. God, her skin feels like silk. Our eyes meet again and she nods. Lucy turns her back to me and lifts her hair so I can see the tattoo. It’s so sweet and delicate but deep and meaningful, just like mine. I can’t help but touch her again, so I run my thumb over the Peace sign and down the letter ‘S’.

  “I like it, babe. Shane would have been so damned happy with his namesake.” I smirk at her as she turns back to me. Gunner clears his throat and it’s only then that I remember that Lucy and I are not alone.

  “Wow, sweetness. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I will kick that fucker’s ass if I see him. You didn’t deserve that.” Gunner sounds just as pissed as I was when it happened.

  “So you two boys know this Dani person? Baby, you will have to point her out. That bitch needs a good old fashioned high five to the face with a metal chair if you ask me, hurting our girl like that.” We all laugh, trust Maisey to lighten the mood. She is good for Lucy.

  “Oh fucking great, here we go again,” Gun says throwing his arms up in the air. What the hell does that mean?

  “Maise, it’s fine babe. I won’t see her. I don’t even visit the campus so I will be fine. As for Dallas, I have no clue to where he is right now, and to be honest I really don’t freaking care,” she shrugs. I can tell she is hurting bringing all this back up, but she also needed to explain. We sit silence for a few minutes and then Lucy turns to me with that knowing look in her eyes. Oh shit, I’m in trouble now.

  “Well fuck me. I just remembered why the hell you’re here, Phoenix.” I smile at her but it doesn’t work. She crossed her arms across her chest, which makes her amazing tits push up. They felt amazing smashed against me this morning. What I wouldn’t give to run my hands all over them to taste her pert little nipples.

  Well Hello hard-on. I am so easily distracted by Lucy…

  “Well, baby, that’s our cue to leave. We are going down to Max Point for a drink, we will see you guys later,” Gunner says, dragging a very uncooperative Maisey away from the table. Maisey goes to say something but Gunner beats her to it by saying, “Nope” and he places his hand over her mouth. I can’t help but laugh. I truly believe Maisey would have ripped me a new one if she could have spoken. Once they leave I get up and grab both Lucy and me a beer out of the fridge. I strut around like I have been here a million times already, as it feels natural to be here for some reason. I sit back at the table with Lucy and wait for her to speak. I sit there staring at her and after a few minutes Lucy shifts in her seat and looks at me.

  “Why did you come here tonight, Rafe? Why did you follow me? I thought by not answering your text you would have gotten the hint.” What the fuck?

  “I was meant to drive you home, Luce; the girls cornered me. You got jealous and stormed away like a freaking five year old. I was trying not to be rude to them.” OK, so brain to mouth filter just packed it in. Fucking great, Rafe!

  “Oh My God. Did you just call me a jealous five year old? Get over yourself, Phoenix. I wouldn’t have sex with you if you paid me. I’m not a ‘Groupie Slut’ that you can throw away after you fucked me.” Wow, pissed off Lucy is kind of hot. Should I be getting turned on right now? Well, even more turned on.

  “Okay, how many times do I have to tell you I haven’t fucked a groupie in months, Snowflake? When are you going to get that into that pretty little head of yours?” Why won’t she believe me? She is starting to piss me off now with this shit. I don’t need it.

  “No? So who was the blonde the girls saw you with last night? The girls saw you take her backstage right after you fucking humiliated me. She looked rather freshly fucked Mia told me, when she emerged from the back room. “Rosy cheeks and everything.” So don’t you dare sit there, Rafe Phoenix, and lie to my face. I fucking hate liars, Rafe.” Fuck, I had completely forgotten about her… shit, what was her name again? Kate? Kay? No Kim, that’s it. But I was thinking of Lucy when she was sucking my dick, I even called out Lucy’s name. A laugh escapes my lips and I hear a bang on the table. I look up at Lucy, who is red in the face. The banging I heard was her fists coming down on the table, making everything shake. Oh shit.

  “Fuck you, Rafe. I want you to leave. You disgust me, you really do and to think I was going to fight my feelings and try and be friends with you. But, I can’t see that happening now. Just go.” She shakes her head and stands from the table. I follow her to the door. Shit, she is kicking me out before I can explain.

  “Babe look...” She cuts me off. Fuck, I can’t call her babe again.

  “Don’t call me that,” she says through gritted teeth.

  “Sorry. Listen; let me explain about last night after you left, okay? I did take a girl backstage. I was pissed at myself for what I did to you and Izzy gave me a good telling off. I was pissed. I decided to go backstage but she caught me off guard and offered herself.” I take a deep breath. “I know I should have told her no but I didn’t and nothing is going to change that. We kissed a little.” Lucy winces and looks at the floor. I use my thumb and forefinger to lift her head so she is looking me in the eyes. “I didn’t have sex with her, OK? But...” Fuck, I need to tell her. “She did go down on me, Luce. I don’t want to hide shit from you if we are going to be friends and maybe ... maybe grow into something more. By Christ I hope it does but I know once I tell you this you are going to kick my ass out of here in two seconds flat. When she was suc ... going down on me, I was picturing you.” I cringe waiting for the blow out but nothing, she just looks at me.

  “It gets worse, Snowflake. I called out your name and she stopped before I came.” Lucy is just staring at me; fuck is she going to freak out. I look at the floor and put my hands into the back pockets of my jeans. I can’t help but rock back and forth waiting for her response. She is killing me. “Shit, Luce say something? Anything, please?”

  I am totally blown away by her response. She laughs, like totally throw your head back laughing. She laughs so hard that she bends over and put her hands on her knees. “Ohmygod... I can’t believe you did that to her, poor girl. Rafe, you are evil dude. Evil. What did she say?” She is still laughing at me. Great, just great.

  “After she got up and I put myself away, she headed for the door and told me that I was a dick to two girls who didn’t deserve it,” I say, looking back at the floor. Totally ashamed with myself, I can’t even meet her eye. I have made so many bad choices in my life and I need to man-up and grow-the-fuck-up. I look back at Lucy, who is wiping the tears from her eyes. “Glad me being a fucknut can bring a smile to that pretty face of yours,” I smile at her. She returns it with her very own shy smile but looks away from me.

  “Rafe, you can make me smile just by looking at me. As I was once told, it’s “The Phoenix Effect”, she says, doing air quotes. “Remember, I grew up with it?” She shrugs. I close the gap between us and she backs away, but I can see that sexy blush rising over her chest, up her delicious neck and up the most beautiful face known to man. I keep backing her up until she hits the wall. I place my hands on either side of her head, caging her in; I look deep into her amazing eyes.

  “Baby, I will do anything to make you smile. Anything. You hear me?” She nods and licks her lips. “Fuck, baby, I so want to kiss you right now but I respect you too much to push you. Just believe me when I say I want to so fucking bad.” I rest my forehead on hers and breathe her in. Freaking lavender and vanilla, it’s going to be the death of my dick and me. I place a chaste kiss to her forehead. “I’m gonna go, Snowflake. I need a cold shower before I meet up with the boys for practice.” She nods and I leave her apartment, not that I wanted to. It’s taking everything in me not to turn around and drag her back to her room and make sweet love to her until she is screaming my name, but my heart is screaming at me to walk away and be what she needs right now.

  Welcome to the friend zone, Rafe Phoenix. Have not seen you in....Well ever!

  It’s just after eight whe
n I arrive Phoenix Records, where we practice. I see my brothers Ryder and Reeve are already sitting in the booth. We are very much alike but also have our own personalities. Ryder is more like me; we both like cars and bikes. Reeve not so much. We have all had our fair share of girls in the past few years. We all lost our virginity the same night at the same party. Wow, that was a night to remember. We have similar features since we are triplets. We all have black hair and green eyes, but we all carry our own style. We have three very important things in common.

  Family

  Music

  The tribute tattoo to our dad.

  Each of us has a tattoo going from the right of our collarbone across our chests to the left of our collarbone that’s dedicated to our dad that says, ‘’Always remember, Never forget” in black script. It was something our dad always told us. We all have our own separate tattoos that mean something to us. I, myself, have two other tattoos; a black star on the outside on my left wrist and a tattoo of a solid black snowflake made of music notes. It sits right on my right hipbone.

  I walk in and jump on Ryder’s back. He freaks and throws me off him “Fucking hell Rafe, you scared the living fuck out of me!” I forgot for a split second about his attack.

  “Shit sorry, Ry, my bad. I forgot.” I run my hands over my face. My brother looks at me and smiles a tight smile. Fuck that bitch and her husband who fucked him over. If I ever see her again it will be too soon.

  “It’s okay, dude. I need to get over this shit; it’s been long enough. Where did you leave off to so early this morning?” Ryder says, punching my shoulder playfully. I smile and walk over to my case. “Oh no, you fucking don’t. Tell us. You can’t keep shit from us, Rafe,” he says with a cocky smirk on his face.

  “I’m not telling you fucktards anything.” Smiling, I open my case and grab the neck of my guitar. Slinging my guitar strap over my head, I make my way back to the boys. They are both smirking at me, knowing something is up. It’s a triplet thing.