She's Captured my Love (Captured #4)

by Karen Frances

  Lucy starts to cry and I pick her up and cradle her in my arms. She yawns. My poor baby is tired. I meant to ask Mum what time she went to bed last night. If I know my mum, it would have been later than her usual bedtime. She does tend to spoil her.

  I sit with her, rocking her gently, as I sing softly to her until she falls asleep. I take her upstairs and put her in her cot. Taking the baby monitor, I head back downstairs to start sorting things out.

  I need to get some empty boxes from the garage. The garage is cold and smells slightly damp. Switching on the light, I notice my bike is still covered where I left it in the middle of the floor. I pull the sheet off and walk round it, running my hand along my Ducati. At one point in my life this was my most prized possession. Now my most prized possession lies asleep in her cot upstairs. Lindsay hated this, she was forever on my back to sell it.

  Maybe it’s time to take it back out on the road for one last trip before I sell it. I have no use for it now with Lucy.

  I cover my bike back up and I take the things I need before Lucy wakes up.

  If I at least pack Lindsay’s things away and store them in the garage until I decide what to do with it all. It doesn’t take that long to sort out the living room. All pictures of Lindsay and I are now packed into a box, including those from the kitchen and the bracelet. I leave one out, because it seems right. Not right for me, but right for Lucy. Although I’m not sure it will stay in this room; maybe it should be in Lucy’s bedroom.

  A picture from just after Lucy was born. Her mother has her in her arms, you can just see my hand in the picture holding Lucy in place. The smile is so clear on Lindsay’s face, even through the pain that I’m sure was breaking her heart. She would’ve been a great mother.

  But she’s not here, and I think I’m doing not-too-bad a job of being both parents. I know I didn’t have the best start with my daughter, and if I could change that I would. But she had the next best thing in my sister.

  I shake the sadness that sweeps through me. This is just another step in the right direction for me. Another journey, and I have no idea of my final destination. But I’m sure wherever I’m heading, my journey is not going to be plain sailing. As long as there’s not a storm brewing in the distance for me, then I’m sure I will be fine.

  I’m starting to think Libby’s strength is starting to rub off on me. Even as kids she was always the sensible one. She always knew right from wrong, how to handle situations. Me? I was just the typical boy, into everything and always up to no good, usually with Stephen. He was my partner in crime so to speak.

  I take my bags upstairs from my shopping trip along with the half-packed box. The box I put in my bedroom, the bags come with me into the spare room. I drop Libby a text;

  I have things belonging to you. I meant to say this morning. I’m needing the spare room so you need to pick them up, SOON x

  Libby; Ok, I will ask why when I see you.

  Trust Libby, I’m sure she already knows why.

  The spare room is my first task upstairs and if it’s the only thing I get done, I will be more than happy. The main bedroom I will leave for a day I don’t have Lucy. There’s a lot to be done there, especially just sorting through Lindsay’s clothes. I’m sure the day I do finally get around to doing that will be a painful day for me. I must remember and speak to Moria and see if there is anything of her daughter’s she wants to keep. There’s some jewellery and a few other things I would like to keep for Lucy. They can be kept with all the pictures and when the time is right, I will sit down and tell her all about her mother.

  I’ve been busy making up the bed with the new sheets I bought this morning when my phone rings. Sophie’s name flashes on the screen.

  “Hey, what’s up?” I ask her.

  “Nothing, I just wanted to make sure you were home. I’m on my way over.”

  I look at my watch; it’s nearly four, so yeah I suppose her lunch would be finished. “Yeah, I’m at home. How are you getting here?”

  “Your mom is dropping me off.” I didn’t expect that answer. Mum’s mind must be in over-drive with this. I bet she quizzes her about everything, if I know my mum at all.

  “Okay. When you get here don’t knock on the door, just come in. Lucy is sleeping. Where is Libby?” I ask.

  “She’s working, someone was sick. Who is it again? I think it was Kieran? He was sick and Libby stayed to cover his shift,” she tells me. “See you soon.”

  Alex isn’t going to be in a good mood with Libby. She’s meant to be having a few days off. Maybe she just wants to stay out his way after this morning. I’ve been so busy I hadn’t realised the time. So much for having this finished today. I’ve still got time to start moving some of my things in here from the other room.

  I’m coming out of the main bedroom with some clothes when I hear my daughter babbling away. I also hear the creak of the stairs and turn toward them. I smile as she approaches the top.

  “I hope this is okay, I didn’t want to shout upstairs and wake Lucy . . .” My daughter’s babbling stops her. “She’s awake then?”

  “Only just now. I need to put these away then get her,” I say holding up my hands.

  “If it’s alright with you, I can get her, then you can tell me what you’re doing.”

  “Deal,” I say, walking back into my new room.

  I stop what I’m doing when I hear her voice; she’s in the room right next door talking to my daughter. ‘What a beautiful girl you are today. Come on, I’m sure it’s your daddy you want.’ I can imagine her picking Lucy up in her arms. I feel my smile grow, hearing the two of them together.

  I turn toward the door to find Sophie standing there holding my baby in her arms. Other than family, no one has held Lucy so protectively. It stirs something deep within me, something that I can’t explain.

  “So, handsome, your daughter and I want to know what you are up to. Don’t we, baby girl?” Her eyes fall on Lucy in her arms.

  “Come and sit down.” She walks over and we both sit down on the bed. I need to explain myself. “First, I want to apologise, Sophie.”

  “For what?”

  “For bringing you to my home. For having you surrounded by things that belong to my dead wife.”

  “Ethan, you don’t need to explain to me.”

  “Maybe not, but I do want to try.”

  “Okay, if you want to talk I’ll listen.”

  “You’ve made me look at things a little differently. Re-evaluate my life. Some things need to be put in order. This will be my room from now on. I should never have taken you to that bed. It was disrespectful to both you and Lindsay, and for that I’m sorry. And please don’t take this the wrong way. You’ve made me realise it’s about time I dealt with all her things.”

  “I don’t think bad of you. I think you are an incredibly strong person and honest.”

  “Strong isn’t one of my strengths. Libby’s maybe, but not mine.”

  “I hope you are not moving things because of me? Because you don’t need to.” God, she is adorable. It shows in everything she does, from the way she’s holding Lucy to the shy smile that graces her face.

  “No, I’m doing this for me. Not sleeping in that room should’ve happened a long time ago.”

  “So what do you want me to do?” she asks.

  “Nothing. This will do for the time being. Bed is made up, my clothes are all here and my toiletries are in the bathroom. Everything else can wait,” I tell her.

  “So what are the three of us going to do then?” she asks. With her question she pulls at my heartstrings. Yes, I’ve seen her with my daughter at Libby’s and now here. But what twenty-three-year-old really wants to spend time with a baby?

  “I don’t know. I’ve not given it much thought. I just presumed wrongly that you wouldn’t be here until later. It’s too slippery outside to go on a walk with this one.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t think.”

  “Don’t be sorry, I’m glad you’re here. But until this
one’s bedtime tonight, you don’t get me all to yourself.” I tease her.

  “I’m sure I will manage. Incidentally, who said I came here to see you?” Her grin is so infectious as she gazes at my daughter.

  “If it was just Lucy you wanted to see, I could have brought her to Libby’s and left her with you for a bit. There’s more people there to spoil her.”

  “And what if I say I’m happy to see both of you?” Her lips curl as she speaks, trying not to hold eye contact with me.

  “Then I’m happy, but let’s get downstairs. Having you in my room and not being able to do what I want could seriously damage my health.”

  She laughs as she stands, still holding Lucy, and walks out the door. I look around my new room and find myself grinning at my handy work. It doesn’t look too bad. I even managed to get bedding that matches the room. Yeah, I am happy with myself.

  I find Sophie in the living room, with Lucy, on the floor playing with her toys. Standing at the door I watch the two of them interact for a few moments, before Sophie looks up. “You okay?” she asks.

  “Yes,” I say as I join them on the floor.

  “So this is how we spend our time?” she asks me.

  “If you’re happy with this, then yes.” My phone starts ringing.

  “Get it, we’re fine. Aren’t we, beautiful?”

  I pick it up, it’s Alex. Surely he’s not about to give me a hard time again?

  “Alex, what can I do for you?”

  “Ethan, I need your help,” he says leaving me confused. My help? I’m intrigued.

  “I’m listening.”

  “I have a job for you if you want it? But I need it to be a rush job.”

  “How rushed?” I ask him.

  “For the casino opening in four days.”

  “Give me the details then.”

  I spend the next thirty minutes on the phone with Alex discussing what he needs from me. Yes, it’s short notice, but it is doable. I stay in the room keeping my eyes on the girls playing.

  “Bugger,” I say as soon as I end the call.

  “What’s wrong?” she asks, lifting Lucy and joining me on the couch.

  “Nothing, Alex has a job for me and I know it would be good for me and the company I work for to do this. But it’s really short notice.”

  “What are we talking?” she asks. I give her all the details and watch as her expression changes. “You could make a start on it now.”

  “No, you are a guest in my home and I intend to treat you as such.”

  “You will do no such thing. You have a deadline to meet and me, I’m more than happy to entertain this little one.” I stare at her and think. “Ethan, there’s nothing to think about. I’m here, Lucy seems to like me and you are going to be here.”

  “I feel bad. I was planning on cooking for us tonight. I even went shopping.”

  “Don’t feel bad. Go and make a start and if you need a hand I’m here. We can eat later, I’m not hungry yet.”

  “Thank you.” I say as I place a soft kiss on her lips.

  “You can make it up to me later.” Oh, I plan to. I might not be able to get much work done with the idea’s now running through my mind of what I would like to do to her.

  MY PHONE RINGING DISTRACTS MY attention from the screen in front of me. Libby’s name flashes on the screen. I wonder what she wants now? We did exchange a few texts’ earlier. She’s coming to see me tomorrow. It’s time to talk and fill my sister in on the blanks in my life. I should have told her all this a long time ago. She deserves to know the truth.

  “Libby, I thought we were going to speak tomorrow?” I ask her.

  “Yes, we still can, only you will need to come to me.” Something is wrong, she doesn’t sound her usual cheerful self.

  “What’s wrong? I can hear it in your voice.”

  “I’m on my way home from the hospital . . .”

  “Libby!” Shit what the hell has happened.

  “Ethan, if you would stop, I will tell you. Is Sophie there?” A strange question she knows Sophie was coming here.

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, put the phone on speaker, so she can hear as well.” I walk through to the living room where Sophie is sitting feeding Lucy.

  “That’s us, we can both hear you,” I tell her. Sophie looks puzzled, I know how she feels.

  “No interruptions until I finish speaking. I’ll give you the short version and fill you in properly tomorrow. You’re both going to be an aunt and uncle in August.” Sophie shrieks in my ear, startling Lucy.

  “Sorry,” she whispers.

  “Now, I should tell you the rest. I’m having twins.” Holly Fuck! Not what I thought Libby would be telling me. Never in a million years did I think Libby would be sharing this news anytime soon. She has too much ambition, not just for herself but the hotel as well.

  “Libby, are you okay?” I ask, because I know kids weren’t at the top of her list at the moment. The hotel has been her priority. But I suppose things change.

  “Yes, I will be fine. I’m just leaving the hospital. Come over tomorrow and we can talk. I just need to take it easy for a few days. I had a bit of a fall. But I’m fine. I will see you both tomorrow; an early night is what I need. Sophie, if you’re going to stay out, please let your mum know. Alex doesn’t need the grief just now.”

  “I will call her shortly,” Sophie tells her as we end the call. So Sophie is staying the night. My night might just get interesting when I can get Lucy into her bed. I want to lie with her in my arms.

  “So you’re staying?” I ask.

  “If you want me to.”

  “Yeah.” I smile. Of course I want her to stay. “So, Libby’s news?”

  “I’m totally over the moon,” she tells me. “They will be great parents.” I sigh heavily. “What’s wrong?”

  “Libby never mentioned kids before Lucy. I didn’t think she wanted any. But I do know this will have come as a shock to her. She is very focused on her career. The hotel is all Libby has wanted since she was a kid.”

  “There’s a big difference now, she has Alex in her life. They are going to be married and probably sooner than she expected.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask as she carries on feeding Lucy.

  “Well, the priest gave them a few dates this morning. One of those dates is at the end of January and, if I know my brother, with this news he won’t want to wait.”

  “I’m sure they will give us all the details tomorrow. So, are you hungry?”

  “Yeah, a little now. But we can wait until Lucy is sleeping and eat later; there’s no rush.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I can think of better things to do when she is sleeping.” Her face lights up. The reaction I had hoped for. “So how about I go and start cooking something quick and easy right now, as long as you’re okay with her for a while longer?”

  “Of course I am; she’s an angel.”

  “Alright, I won’t be too long,” I tell her.

  I leave them alone and go back to the kitchen. Saving my work, I shut down the laptop. I’ve got through more than I had hoped for on the casino project. I put some rice in a pot and start preparing vegetables and dicing chicken. A quick stir-fry is perfect.

  Standing over the cooker, two soft hands find their way around my waist. I tilt my head to find Sophie leaning into my back. I turn to face her. “Where is my beautiful daughter?”

  “She’s sleeping. I put her in her cot, I hope you don’t mind?”

  “Why would I mind? I will check on her after dinner.”

  “I brought the monitor downstairs. She’s fed and changed, including her diaper.”

  I laugh at her choice of word. “We call it a nappy.”

  “A nappy,” she repeats and giggles. It does sound funny the way she says it.

  She stands on her tiptoes and her mouth brushes, ever- so- slightly against mine. As I look into her eyes I suddenly no longer feel hungry for food. I see the pool of desire that I’d happily drown in
, given half the chance. So last night wasn’t all down to alcohol, given the fact she’s been here all this time and spent most of it with my girl.

  “I think we should eat,” I whisper.

  “That might be a good idea.”

  I quickly set the table for us. “Do you want some wine?” I ask.

  “Are you going to have some?”

  “I might have a glass.”

  “Okay then, open a bottle I’m sure between the two of us we will finish it off.”

  I pleasantly surprise myself with dinner; it’s actually really nice considering all I’ve done recently with my meals is put them in the microwave to heat them up. Sophie assures me the food is lovely. The wine tastes good, but the company is better. I can’t remember the last time I sat enjoying a meal and relaxing.

  Then it hits me.

  The night Lindsay died was the last time. There it is, rearing its ugly head yet again. Guilt. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep letting my thoughts drift back to Lindsay. I remember everything so clearly from that night. I stop eating and run my fingers through my hair.

  “Ethan, are you alright?” Sophie asks, her voice laced with concern.

  “Yes, I’ll be fine . . .” I start to tell her and pause. How the hell do I put this without offending her? Christ, I can’t even explain my feelings to myself, so what chance do I have of explaining them to her? “It’s just you’re the first female company I’ve had since Lindsay died and I’m feeling a little . . . guilty. I can’t explain it and I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Can I tell you something?” I nod unable to find my voice. “You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know. I can only imagine you are battling with your feelings. I don’t want to add any unnecessary pain. If you want me to leave, I can go.” Her eyes dart around the room, looking anywhere but at me.

  “Sophie,” I say, taking her hands in mine. I need her to see how much I mean the words I’m about to say. “I want you here. That’s what I’m struggling with. I feel guilty about wanting you.” She removes her hands from mine.

  I’ve fucked up with just opening my mouth. She pushes the chair back and stands. She is going to leave. I put my head in my hands. Then I feel her right beside me. She lifts my head but I struggle to look at her.