‘They don’t know. What I’ve learnt about head injuries in the past few weeks is that it’s not an exact science. They say his real voice might come back, but then again it might not. He might regain his full memory, he might not.’
She closed her eyes for a moment wishing she could know which way it would be for Finn. And if he didn’t regain his memory, wasn’t it up to her to fill in the missing pieces?
‘Ooh, that’s going to make life interesting in the next few weeks, then,’ said Laura, in the understatement of the year. ‘It’s a bit like having a brand-new live-in boyfriend,’ she said gleefully as though that was a good thing.
Ruby’s mind wandered to the events of the previous evening, a warm curl of desire infiltrating her stomach.
‘Yes, well, he’s certainly different. It is a bit like starting over. We’re having to get to know each other all over again.’
‘Look,’ said Laura brightly, seeing Ruby’s troubled expression. ‘This time last week you didn’t even know if Finn would wake up. Now he’s out of the coma, out of hospital and back to his normal self.’ She shrugged, reassessing her words. ‘Well, not exactly normal, I know, but at least he’s on his way to recovery. And it’s early days yet. A few weeks down the line and he’ll have lost the funny accent and he’ll be back to how we all knew him.’
‘Yeah,’ said Ruby half-heartedly, not sharing Laura’s confidence at all.
***
‘Has she gone yet?’
Finn was back, newly showered, the smell of a forest floor teasing at her nostrils from across the other side of the room. He even smelled different these days.
‘If you mean Laura, then yes, she’s gone. And don’t look so relieved about it. It was very nice of her to pop in to say hello.’
‘I guess.’
Finn shrugged and went through to the kitchen, helping himself to a glass of water from the tap.
‘Finn, what was that all about? Laura made an effort to come and see you. You could have at least made an effort in return.’
‘I said hello, didn’t I? She’s not exactly my favourite person in the world. Besides, she’s your friend not mine.’
‘Really! You never said anything before.’ Ruby looked at Finn as though she were seeing him for the first time. She’d always thought he and Laura had got on famously. ‘What don’t you like about her?’ asked Ruby, not understanding how anybody couldn’t like Laura.
‘I dunno. You know how some people you just take to and others you don’t, well, that’s how it is with Laura and me. It’s always been that way. She doesn’t like me either.’
‘That is so not true,’ said Ruby, her mouth dropping open, wondering as she said it if there was even an inkling of truth in it.
‘Hey, it’s no big deal,’ said Finn, coming over and wrapping his arms around her shoulders. ‘I like you though. And that’s all that matters.’ He traced a fingertip around her lips, looking deep into her eyes. ‘I like you an awful lot. You like me too, don’t you, Rubes?’
‘Of course, I do,’ she said. Her heart took the helter-skelter down to the base of her stomach. ‘I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t like you, would I?’ She pushed him away playfully, her cheeks flushing at the intimacy of the situation. Finn had never been one for great declarations of love and although this didn’t rate as one of those, the sincerity in his words and the honesty in his gaze were hard to ignore. It wasn’t a lie, she liked Finn an awful lot, but she’d been careful to avoid those three little words for a number of years now.
‘What shall we do for lunch?’ she said in a desperate attempt to get the conversation back onto neutral ground. ‘I’ve got some French bread with some cheese—how does that sound?’
He pulled a face as though he couldn’t think of anything worse.
‘You know what I really fancy?’
‘What?’
‘Fried chicken and chips. There’s a shop on the corner at the end of the road. I’ve never noticed it before, until this morning.’
Ruby looked at him as though he’d suddenly grown two heads.
‘What?’
‘Finn, you hate junk food. And I know the shop you mean. It’s a complete dive.’
‘We should try it. It smelled delicious as I walked past. And we don’t have to eat in. We could walk down to the canal, take our lunch there. You need to start living dangerously, Rubes. Come on, let’s get down there. My treat.’
Ruby wasn’t sure there was an eating-in facility at the chicken and chip shop even if they’d wanted to do that. There was only a standing-at-the-counter facility with all the dubious-looking riff-raff. And she’d seen them. Some of them were very dubious indeed. There was living dangerously and there was taking your life in your hands.
Still, Finn’s treats used to consist of him whisking her off to a European capital for the weekend or lunch at a Michelin-starred restaurant, but if he wanted chicken and chips then who was she to say no to such a simple request?
Chapter Eleven
In the following days they fell into a routine that suited Ruby. Finn would wake early, bring her a cup of tea and then disappear off out for pretty much the rest of the morning. Now she knew where he was going and felt confident that another terrible tragedy wasn’t about to befall him, she was thankful for the time alone to be able to get on with her own work. Finn had struck up an unlikely friendship with Bo and Katy, the couple who were renovating their boat, and was only too willing to help them out with any jobs that needed doing, whether that was painting the woodwork or sweeping the deck.
Ruby didn’t mind; she was able to spend more time on her drawings. She’d been commissioned to provide some illustrations for a publishing company to accompany a range of magazine articles, something she was able to do just as well from Finn’s flat as her own. She was keen to build up her portfolio and build up an online presence, which was non-existent at the moment.
‘You should come down to the canal with me one morning,’ he said, stroking her hair tenderly behind her ear. Ruby looked up at him and smiled. She still hadn’t got used to his overly tactile approach these days. Neither had her body, which reacted immediately and urgently to his touch.
‘I’ve told Bo and Katy all about you. I think you’d like them. They’d love to meet you and you’d probably get some great inspiration for your drawings. It’s a lovely spot. You can almost forget you’re in the middle of London when you’re beside the river.’
Ruby shook her head, unable to hide the smile lighting up her face.
‘What’s so funny about that?’
‘You! I think it’s great that you’ve found these new friends and you can help them on this project, it’s just I would never have expected you to enjoy doing something like that, something so practical, so much.’
‘I love it,’ said Finn nodding his head as though it had only just occurred to him. ‘I love being outdoors, feeling the wind whipping against my body. It’s invigorating. It makes me feel so alive. I love using my hands to work with the wood, seeing the changes I can make to it. When I’m working with my hands, my mind’s occupied. I’m thinking of nothing but what I’m doing at that particular moment. I love seeing all the wildlife: the ducks, the squirrels, the dogs. There is so much life to see on the riverbank. I even spotted a heron the other day on the opposite side of the river. It’s amazing—you really do notice something different every day.’
‘That’s great,’ said Ruby, delighted by this sudden unexpected enthusiasm for the outdoor life. She was pleased that it was having such a positive effect on him. She could see a change in him, not only in his mood, which was much more upbeat and optimistic, but also in his physical appearance. Even after just a few days, his skin glowed with a ruddiness from the hours spent in the fresh air, his hair, which was grown longer now, curled up over his collar, and if she didn’t know otherwise she could have sworn the ends had been dip-dyed a golden brown colour. There was a brightness in his eyes that had been missing in those first days aft
er he’d come out of hospital.
‘You do realise you’re not going to be able to fit in visits to the boat once you’re back at work.’
‘Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that. I’ll have to sort something out. Still, it will be a while yet before that happens.’
His answer had surprised Ruby. She’d assumed he’d want to go back to work as quickly as he could, but he’d shown no signs of wanting to do that. She’d assumed too this fascination was a fleeting diversion, something to occupy his mind and body while he was recovering, but the man who came in from a morning’s work outdoors, his skin flushed with pride and satisfaction, was a very different person from the man who’d been equally committed to his career as a top city lawyer. At the moment, Ruby was having difficulty trying to reconcile these two very different versions of the same man.
Finn had been signed off work indefinitely but the doctors had advised that if he felt up to it then he could go back to work when he felt able to, maybe going in on a part-time basis initially just to ease himself back into the job.
His firm had been completely wonderful. Finn was such an asset to Richardsons that they were willing to support his recovery for however long it might take. They’d sent flowers, helium balloons, gift hampers and an avalanche of cards had tumbled through the door. All of the senior partners had been to visit Finn personally and reassured him that his position at the company was safe and he was to take all the time he needed for his recovery while paying him at full salary at the same time.
Everyone realised that Finn was likely to get tired in the early days and Ruby worried that returning to such a stressful and highly pressurised environment would be detrimental to Finn’s health. Then again, being back in the world that he knew and loved might just help him return to the man he was before the accident.
Ruby imagined their lives would get back to some kind of normality when Finn returned to work, but she didn’t know when that might be. Would it be weeks, days or months away? She had no idea. When he did go back to work she would return to her own flat and their lives would take on some kind of semblance of what they were before the accident.
Was that even possible though? Finn had changed, almost beyond recognition. She’d altered too. The accident had happened at a point of climactic change in their relationship and there was no way Ruby wanted to go back to that point, but where did she want them to be? To a time when they were still a committed couple planning their wedding or at the stage where they’d decided their relationship was over and they could start thinking about a future apart?
The very thought sent cold shivers of dread along her body and with each day of Finn’s recovery she found herself thinking about it more and more.
‘Are you all right, Ruby, dear?’
They were sitting at Jan and Gerry’s magnificent oak dining table in the conservatory overlooking the beautiful garden where Gerry spent most of his spare time. He tended the acres of lawn that spread into the distance while Jan took credit for the beautifully tended flowerbeds and the numerous pots and baskets that spilled over onto the patio. Ruby had always loved it here. It was the only family home she knew these days. Jan and Gerry had welcomed her from day one, treating her like the daughter they’d never had.
When Ruby’s mother died when she was a teenager it had only been her and her dad left at home as her elder brother, David, had already left and was working at the other end of the country for a construction company. Her dad had done his best and supported her through the rest of her education but immediately he’d met his new partner, Sarah, Ruby had known that it was only a matter of time before they’d want to start a new life together.
It had become a priority for Ruby to be independent and start earning her own money so she’d turned her back on the idea of going to university and had instead left school, quickly finding a job working for a major retailer. With the money she’d earned and the small inheritance she’d received from her mum, she was able to move into her own place. The last thing she’d wanted was to be a burden to her dad or stop him from being happy with his new partner. It wasn’t long after she’d moved out of home that he’d told her he was thinking of moving to Spain to start a new life with Sarah—that was if Ruby didn’t mind, of course. She’d smiled and hugged her dad, telling him of course she didn’t mind, that all she wanted was for him to be happy again, but the memory of that conversation could still bring her to tears even now.
Jan and Gerry, and Finn, of course, had quickly become her new family and she’d always be thankful to them for that. The thought that she could lose them all from her life was something she still found too painful to consider. She knew they all loved and adored her, but she couldn’t see their love extending to her if she went ahead and broke Finn’s heart.
‘Yes, I’m fine,’ she said, brought back to the moment by Jan’s question. ‘I was just thinking how lovely it is to be here.’ Her gaze roamed the table groaning with food. Jan’s best Wedgwood china was overflowing with golden crispy roast potatoes, Yorkshire puddings, glazed carrots, red cabbage, French green beans and a jug of steaming-hot gravy. A huge platter housed the biggest joint of roast beef in the centre of the table as Gerry sharpened the carving knife in an action she’d seen him do so expertly so many times before.
‘Well, I can’t tell you how lovely it is to have you both here.’
Jan placed bottles of open red and white wine at the end of the table and sat down with a satisfied sigh.
‘Would you like to pour the wine, Finn?’
He leant across the table for the bottle of red, his fingers not quite securing the neck of the bottle but instead giving it an accidental push that sent it toppling on its side, the blood-red contents seeping over the starched white fabric of the tablecloth.
‘Oh, shit, no!’ he yelled, jumping up, his long legs hitting the edge of the table, sending a wine glass crashing in the process. ‘Fuck it!’
‘Finn, please! Mind your language. It’s only a bit of wine,’ said Jan, looking flustered.
‘Don’t worry about it,’ said Gerry, collecting up the bits of broken glass in one hand while mopping up the leak with a tea towel. ‘It’s just an accident.’
Finn looked helplessly at the devastation on the table, his frustration all too evident in his features.
‘It’s fine. Sit down,’ said Ruby, tugging at his hand. ‘It could have happened to anyone.’
‘Oh, definitely. Don’t look so upset about it. That stain will come out in the wash.’ Jan sat down, her cheeks flushed, and helped herself to a glass of white wine, giving a satisfied smile. ‘Do you know, Finn, I didn’t say anything, not even to Gerry, but there was a time when I wondered if we’d ever be able to enjoy these simple pleasures again. These past few weeks have shown us just how unpredictable life can be so we have to make the most of every moment. It’s such a treat to have you two lovely people sitting at our table again.’
Gerry smiled indulgently at his wife as he placed slices of roast beef onto the dinner plates, before handing them round the table.
‘You’re right, darling, absolutely, but let’s get started on this superb dinner you’ve prepared. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m starving.’
After the earlier flash of temper from Finn, Ruby was relieved that the atmosphere around the table had brightened. They tucked into the food, laughter and animated chatter ringing around the room, but Jan’s words about life being unpredictable were causing alarm bells to ring in Ruby’s head. They’d all had enough unpredictability to last them a lifetime. Could she really throw another spanner in the works by calling off the much talked about and looked forward to wedding and, more pressingly, did she even want to now?
‘So, when do you think you might get back to work? Have you given it any thought? Now you’re a partner I expect they’re eager for you to return as quickly as possible.’ Jan smiled, looking across at her son. ‘And I know what you’re like! I bet you’re itching to get back. You won’t know wha
t to do with yourself stuck inside that flat all day long.’
Ruby smiled. She’d thought the same too, but he’d actually spoken very little about his job. It surprised her just how much he was enjoying the enforced break from work.
‘What’s the hurry? Work have told me to take as long as I need. You never know, we might decide to take an extended honeymoon and go backpacking around the world. What do you reckon, Rubes?’
He was joking. Well, she hoped he was joking. It was difficult to tell these days. Judging by the startled expressions on his parents’ faces, they obviously hoped he was joking too.
‘I’m not sure I’m the backpacking type,’ she said neutrally, ‘but you’re right, you don’t want to rush to get back to work. You’ve got all the time in the world.’
She turned to Jan and Gerry.
‘Did Finn mention it’s Richardsons’ summer ball next month? They’re going to take the opportunity to announce Finn’s partnership to the rest of the team. He’s guest of honour apparently so it’s going to be a pretty spectacular night. They always put on a really good bash, wonderful food, the champagne flows all night and a band plays until the early hours of the morning. We’re really looking forward to it, aren’t we, Finn?’
‘Kind of,’ he said, sounding not in the least bit enthused.
‘Oh, how lovely, darling,’ said Jan, clapping her hands together excitedly. ‘Will you promise to take lots of photos so we can see Finn’s big night?’
‘Of course.’ Ruby laughed.
‘We’re so proud of you, darling. To become a partner at such a young age and with such a reputable firm as Richardsons, well, it’s almost unheard of, isn’t it? Mind you, Ruby, even from an early age Finn was always surprising us with what he could do, wasn’t he, Gerry?’
Finn groaned and rolled his eyes.
‘Oh, please, Mum, I’m sure Ruby’s heard a hundred times before how I was the original miracle child. You know how it goes. I walked before all those other kids, talked before all those other kids, learnt to read and could recite my times tables years before all my peers. I really was a child genius. Well, if you believe what Mum tells you anyway.’ He scowled, returning his attention to his food. Ruby did the same, feeling uncomfortable at Finn’s derisive tone towards his mother.
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