Former Rain-Forsaken Box Set

by Vanessa Miller

  A tear ran down the crook of her nose. Ironically, even though Elizabeth didn’t get fat, Kenneth still cheated. Since she was a teenager, men had always looked past her to get to the next woman in line. She had never been that ‘someone special’ to any man she dated. Somehow, with Kenneth, she thought things would be different. But he too, had just used and discarded her like all the rest.

  What was wrong with her? Why was she always left with the short end of the stick? Was she really selfish like Kenneth said? Is that why men ran out of her life like they were running from hell?

  “What did I do that was so wrong?” Okay, she was willing to admit that she had made a few decisions that Kenneth didn’t agree with. Like when she and Kenneth were looking for a house. Kenneth wanted to buy a smaller home so he could send more money to his mother in New Orleans. Since his father passed, his Mama was having a tough time making ends meet.

  But Elizabeth wasn’t having that. Mama Rosa couldn’t stand her from day one - and didn’t make any bones about that fact. So if she thought Elizabeth was going to lose square footage over her hunger pangs, she had another thought coming. Elizabeth fussed and cussed, but Kenneth still wouldn’t listen. One day as they were eating breakfast, she told Kenneth that she was going back to work unless he bought her the house she wanted. That did the trick. Kenneth didn’t want his kids raised by a babysitter. So Elizabeth won, and that wicked witch he called Mama, lost.

  Hmmph, she wasn’t about to let Kenneth play her second to his Mama – or any other woman for that matter. If she had, she wouldn’t be in this house now, would she? Elizabeth put her head in her hands as she wondered how much longer she would have her beautiful home. “How could he do this to me?”

  She looked up to heaven and asked, “Why are You letting this happen?” She wiped some tears from her face. “Why don’t You help me?”

  She looked around for her Bible and found it in the drawer of her nightstand, hidden under some old magazines. She picked it up and flipped the pages. Stopping at the sixth chapter of Luke, she read:

  “Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like:

  He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the rain beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock.

  But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the rain beat vehemently; and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great.”

  Sounds like my house, she thought. No doubt she had built her home without a foundation. It had been tumbling down around her for years. “Lord help me. My family is falling apart. Kenneth… Oh God, he hurt me, b-but I don’t want to lose him.” The tears fell on the pages of her Bible as she curled up on her bed and moaned out the sorrows of her unfulfilled life. No one knew her pain. No one wanted to help her through her times of trouble. She laid in her bed, long into the night, thinking about how she had ruined her marriage – all hope was lost. But something deep within her wouldn’t let go of Pastor McKinley’s words from this morning.

  She remembered that he said the former rain comes into our lives because of the choices we make. “But there is One who can wash away the former rain – it is He who brings the latter rain.”

  Elizabeth got out of bed. She needed the rain that God could bring into her life. On her knees she prayed, “Oh, Lord, I need You. Come into my life and remove the problems Kenneth and I have created.” Just then Elizabeth felt something sweep into her room. She looked around thinking Kenneth had opened her bedroom door. It was still closed. She got off her knees and walked around the room. She felt that sweeping wind again, but this time it enveloped her. She closed her eyes and exhaled. Tears escaped her closed lids, but these were not sorrowful tears. Right now, all she felt was comfort. It relaxed her, and loved on her. She softly cried, for she had finally found a love so strong, it satisfied the thirst of her soul.

  She wrapped her arms around herself and smiled as she laid back in bed. Sleep would be easy now. Everything would be all right. She could feel it. “Thank You, Lord.”

  Elizabeth woke refreshed and ready to roll away the stone of her past and resurrect a new life for her family. She smiled as she got out of bed. She could hardly believe what happened to her last night. But it was true. She, Elizabeth Underwood, a confirmed finger popper and Saturday night bar-hopper, Sunday go-to-meeting choir singer, had finally been touched by Jesus. She was saved.

  There was a new pep in her step, as she opened her door and walked out of her bedroom. Kenneth opened the door of the guestroom down the hall. Elizabeth smiled, everything would be okay. Lord, I’ll tell him that I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting, and we’ll sit down and talk about it. “Kenneth, I-”

  Kenneth put the five-finger disconnect in her face. “If it’s not about Erin or Danae, don’t say nothing to me.”

  “B-but I need to tell you something.”

  “Tell it to my lawyer.” He handed her a business card. “I’m on my way to see him before I go to work.”

  For one quick second, Elizabeth thought about going back into her bedroom and praying about this situation. But how could she pray when she was so stinking mad? She ran behind Kenneth yelling, “I’ll take everything you’ve got. No judge is going to let an adulterer push his wife aside and keep his business and all his goods.”

  Kenneth turned around to face her, his lip curled in disgust. “If I have to sell my business and live on the street, it will be well worth it to be rid of you.”

  ***

  What does one do the day after finding love? Do you shout the good news to the world, or do you keep it to yourself?

  The love Nina had found was special. It was nothing like the go-fetch kind of love she had with Isaac, that left her panting and begging Isaac to throw her another bone. And when he threw her the bone of his affection or a piece of jewelry, she was obligated to do tricks for him. No, this love was enduring. It was kind and unconditional with no strings attached. She wanted to let everyone know about this love she found with Jesus.

  Nina felt so good, she was willing to do whatever it took to keep this feeling of joy in her life. Never, never, never – no matter what she was doing, whom she was with – had she ever felt like this. Even when she was hot and heavy in love with loving Isaac, she didn’t feel this good. On their best days, guilt would creep in and tell her that what she was doing wasn’t right.

  God had been trying to get her attention for a long time. She kept putting Him off. She just couldn’t believe that God truly wanted her. But now, as she lay on her bed rubbing her stomach, she remembered driving in her car headed to a nightclub, and feeling that God was trying to pull her in another direction. She rejected God so many times in those days. “I’m too young,” she remembered shouting at the Lord, the last time she felt that pull, “I’ll serve You when I’m too old to have fun.”

  But fun turned into chaos. Now she was twenty-five years old, and five months pregnant. A soon to be single mom, with a drug dealer for her baby’s daddy.

  There was a knock on her bedroom door.

  “Yes?”

  Marguerite peeked her head in the room. “Do you feel like having a little company right now?”

  Nina sat up in her bed. “Come in.”

  Marguerite carried a black leather bound Bible in her hand. She sat down on the bed next to Nina. “I thought you might need this,” Marguerite told Nina as she held up the Bible.

  Nina took the Bible from Marguerite and smiled. “It’s got my name on it.”

  “I had it engraved first thing this morning.”

  Nina sat the Bible in her lap and gave Marguerite a hug. “Thank you.” She started flipping through some of the pages. “I used to read the Bible all the time when I was a little girl. My adoptive mother would sit with me and we’d find all kinds of stories in the Bible.”

  “It�
�s not just a Bible, this is a study Bible. It will help with the questions you may have while reading some of the passages.”

  Nina’s lip quivered as her eyes watered. “How will I ever repay you for what you have done for me?”

  Marguerite shook her head. “There’s nothing for you to repay. I believe God has had His hand on your life for a long time. All of the events that have occurred in your life were designed to bring you closer to Him.”

  Nina was about to ask Marguerite why so much had to occur in her life. Couldn’t God have encouraged her to serve Him another way? But somebody was pounding on the front door.

  “Who in the world?” Marguerite asked as she stood up.

  Then they heard, “Open the door. I need to speak to Nina.”

  Nina sighed. “Wait. Sit back down, I’ll get it.” She stood up and put on the robe Marguerite had given her.

  “Are you sure, honey? Do you want me to do anything?”

  “Yeah,” Nina told her as she walked to the door to let Isaac in. “Tell the Lord I want a drama-free life.”

  16

  Kenneth’s emancipated descent on his household occurred seven days ago. He and Elizabeth weren’t speaking. Erin and Danae followed suit and stopped talking to one another also. By Thursday, Kenneth claimed he had to go to New York. He had some financial matters to take care of at the World Trade Center, or at least that’s what she heard him tell Erin. But Elizabeth knew his girlfriend was going to New York with him, spending money she should be spending. She fumed all week, until Sunday when she went to church and fell on the altar; pouring out her anxieties, frustrations and fears. On the drive home, Elizabeth felt so much better. No, not just better, she felt delivered.

  When she opened the back door and saw Kenneth sitting at the kitchen table eating leftovers that she fixed for her children, she asked him about his unexpected trip to New York. When he gave her an offhanded response, Elizabeth cussed him out.

  On Wednesday night, she dressed the girls and went to Bible study. The pastor preached on forgiveness and letting go of the long list of wrongs that people have done. Had this man been a fly on her wall this week? What is up with this?

  Elizabeth found herself back on the altar again crying out to God for help and deliverance.

  After service, she met another new convert. Her name was Nina. She was five months pregnant, no ring in sight. But it’s cool. Elizabeth still thought she was the sweetest girl she’d met in a long time. Elizabeth pulled out a pen and piece of paper. She jotted down her telephone number and handed it to Nina. “Give me a call. We can do lunch or something.”

  Nina smiled as she wrote her number on the back of the church’s weekly program and handed it to Elizabeth. “I’d like that.” They walked to the parking lot together, making arrangements to get together some time during the week.

  When Elizabeth got home from church, Kenneth asked her if she’d had any luck finding a place to stay. That cussing demon reared its ugly head in her house again. After that episode, she went to her bedroom and fell down on her knees. “Lord, please help me. I don’t like what I have become.”

  The rest of the week was peaceful, like the calm before the storm. Kenneth and Elizabeth mastered the art of delivering messages through their five-year old. Erin was in the family room with her dad when he pulled out some money and told her, “Give this to your mother. Tell her this is the grocery money.”

  When Erin handed the money and delivered the message to her mother, Elizabeth asked her daughter, “Is there anything special your dad wants from the store?”

  Kenneth told Erin, “I would love some Granny Apples and Louis Rich bologna.”

  By 7:30 that evening, Erin was exhausted. Elizabeth put her and Danae to bed, then went to her bedroom to study the Word of God. Each night before she went to bed, she tore into Psalms, Proverbs, and Esther. Day after day she poured into those chapters. She discovered that a foolish woman tears down her house, but a wise woman builds it up. She took note of how David worshipped the Lord through the Psalms. Even the way Esther responded to the king ministered to her heart.

  The next morning when Kenneth left for work, Elizabeth vowed to stop talking through Erin and start trying to salvage her marriage. She was in the kitchen cooking dinner for Kenneth and the kids when the phone rang. It was Tommy Brooks. Elizabeth had been so consumed with all the drama in her life that she’d forgotten about singing at the Belante’ Club.

  “So when are you coming back to the club? We need to get these papers signed.”

  Elizabeth’s house of cards was tumbling down in front of her. There was no way she could put one more thing in the mix. “Tommy, I’m sorry, now’s not a good time.”

  There was an awkward pause, then Tommy told her, “You’re making a big mistake,” and hung up.

  ***

  “Daddy, you’re home!” Erin exclaimed as she ran toward him.

  Kenneth put his briefcase down in the foyer and bent down to pull his daughter into a tight bear hug. “Yes, baby, daddy’s home.”

  Elizabeth walked into the foyer wiping her hands on a dishcloth. She planted her feet by the stairway, a good three feet away from Kenneth and his one-child fan club. The foyer had always been one of her favorite areas in the house. The natural stone marble floor spoke of elegance. The off white plush carpet that flowed up the winding staircase said, “I have arrived.” It was the very thing that made her beg Kenneth to buy this house. But now, in the very place that had always made her feel regal and important, she felt out of place and unnecessary. She smiled at her wayward husband. The joy that was in his eyes at the sight of Erin disappeared. Contempt took joy’s place. “You still here?”

  Elizabeth silently prayed, Lord, please don’t let me start trippin’, “Yeah, I’m still here. I was hoping we could talk.”

  Kenneth put Erin down. “I’m through talking. I’ve tried to tell you to get a lawyer. I don’t know what you’re waiting on.”

  Elizabeth opened her mouth, then shut it.

  “Come on, Daddy. Mommy made chicken and dumplings for dinner.” Erin grabbed and pulled at Kenneth.

  Kenneth allowed himself to be pulled toward the kitchen. “Mmh, I love chicken and dumplings.”

  “That’s what Mommy said.”

  “I made you a German Chocolate cake too,” Elizabeth said as she followed behind her child and her husband.

  Kenneth stopped and glared at Elizabeth. “What are you up to? Am I going to need a stomach pump after I eat this wonderful meal?”

  Elizabeth knew she deserved his contempt and mistrust. Everything she had done to Kenneth during their seven-year marriage had brought them to this point. She was willing to forgive him for the hurt he had caused her, but Kenneth didn’t seem to have any forgiveness left for her. Elizabeth sighed. “Why don’t you fix the plates, Kenneth? Erin and I will eat what you serve us.”

  “Where’s Danae?”

  “She’s asleep, or she’d eat dinner with us too. Okay?”

  When they had filled up on chicken and dumplings and started in on the chocolate cake, Elizabeth sent Erin to the family room to play with her dolls so she could state her case. “I know you want me to leave, Kenneth, but I can’t do that. I just can’t give up on us and let you go as if you meant nothing to me.” She saw the coldness creep back into his eyes as his body stiffened. She put her hand on top of his hand. “Kenneth, please don’t divorce me.” He pulled his hand from Elizabeth’s grasp. “Give me a month – I know you don’t want to, but let’s try to make this marriage work.”

  Kenneth jumped up. “No! If you need a month to find a place to live, fine. But understand this, Elizabeth, we are through.” He stormed out of the kitchen, went to his bedroom and packed his suitcase. He stomped down the stairs with his bags.

  Elizabeth was at the bottom of the stairs waiting for him. “Where are you going?”

  “I’ll be back in a couple of days,” he told her as he walked past her and out the front door.

  **
*

  By Saturday morning, the kids had torn the house apart but Elizabeth barely noticed. She did, however, notice that Danae wouldn’t stop crying. Elizabeth picked up her baby and discovered that she was burning up with fever. She gave Danae some Infant Tylenol, a couple of popsicles and several glasses of ice water. Nothing worked. By early afternoon, Elizabeth had bathed and dressed the kids and was on her way out the door when the phone rang. Thinking it might be Kenneth, she picked it up.

  “What do I have to do to get you to call me?” her mother asked.

  “Mom, I’m sorry. There has been so much going on, I don’t know where my head is at lately,” Elizabeth replied.

  “Well you know you’ve only got one Mama, right?”

  Danae started crying. “Mom, you’re right. I should call more. I’ll call you back tonight and you can give me a big lecture. But right now I’ve got to get Danae to the hospital.”

  “Hospital? What’s wrong?”

  “Fever. Do me a favor and page Kenneth. Let him know that Danae is sick and I’m on my way to Good Samaritan Hospital.” Elizabeth hung up and ran out of the house.

  Elizabeth sat in the emergency waiting room for three hours, just so the doctor could tell her to give Danae some Infant Tylenol and plenty of liquids. Like she hadn’t already tried all that. Whatever.

  “If she’s still sick tomorrow evening, you might want to make an appointment with your regular physician,” the doctor informed her as she got her children together and went back home.

  She took Danae out of her car seat as Kenneth pulled up. He jumped out of his car and grabbed Danae. “Oh my God. She’s burning up!”

  “The doctor said that she’ll be fine. She just needs to sleep for a while.”