Former Rain-Forsaken Box Set

by Vanessa Miller

  She hunched her shoulders and smiled, but didn’t answer.

  “Cause I’m the best deal she gon’ get,” Spoony answered for her as she walked back up the stairs. He turned to Isaac and lifted his glass. “To Valerie. She died like a soldier, and for that, she has earned much respect.”

  Isaac wanted to tell Spoony that Valerie died like a sucka; loving a man who, at best, only liked her some. But he wouldn’t say that about Valerie. No, he’d smile as their glasses joined in the air in salute to a fallen street heroine. And he’d continue to live with the guilt of her death.

  “Has anybody ratted ya’ boy out yet?”

  “Naw.” Isaac thought about Keith’s actions lately, all nervous and preoccupied. He got the shakes every time they talked about things that needed to be taken care of for the business. He just wasn’t himself, wasn’t acting like the Keith he knew. “Sometimes I think he’s gon’ rat his own self out.”

  “Mmmh, maybe he don’t have the stomach for real action.”

  “He’s never flinched before. Something else is going on, I just don’t know what it is.”

  Spoony wiped his hands on his pants, stood up and walked over to the pool table. “Let’s get down to business.” Isaac and Cynda joined him at the table. Spoony popped open a briefcase. “Ain’t it pretty?”

  “Sweet Isis,” Isaac said as he picked up one of the bags of cocaine and started counting the rest.

  “Twenty kilos, just like you requested.” He motioned with his arms. “What? A nigga can’t be trusted, or what?”

  Isaac looked over at his mentor and smiled. “A wise man once taught me to trust no one. He told me, ‘keep your pistol under your pillow just in case you got to shoot the one you sleeping with’.”

  Spoony laughed. “Okay, okay. Count ‘em. Matter-of-fact, let’s sample the product.” He walked over to the bar, opened one of the bags, threw a little snow on the counter top and lined it up. “Who’s first?” he asked, while holding out a small straw.

  Isaac waved him off. “Naw, man. You go head.”

  “I forgot, you’re too smart to mess with the product,” Spoony said, then looked at Cynda. “What about you, beautiful?”

  Cynda glanced at Isaac for approval. “Hey, you a grown woman. If ya’ Mama never told you to ‘just say no’, far be it for me to try to school you now.”

  “All right,” she said defiantly. “I’ve never done this before, but I think I’d like to try it.” She grabbed the straw from Spoony, bent down and inhaled the coke into her nostril. She stood back up. White powder was around her nose. As she wiped her nose with the back of her hand, her head started spinning.

  “Good stuff, huh?”

  “Whew. It gives you a big time rush.”

  Spoony bent his head, and enjoyed the same rush. Oh what a feeling!

  Isaac opened Cynda’s Coach bag and pulled out stacks of cash. “Do I need to count it?” Spoony asked.

  “Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Isaac shrugged.

  Spoony came back over to the pool table. “Naw, dog. You got that wrong. My counting this stash will help you sleep at night.”

  Isaac turned to Cynda. “Take this briefcase and get back to Dayton. Hand this stuff to Keith. I’ll call you when I get back in town.”

  Cynda picked up the briefcase. Spoony closed the bag of cocaine he and Cynda sampled and threw it in the briefcase. Cynda kissed her man and left without another word.

  Spoony’s eyes roamed over Cynda as she strutted up the stairs. “Man, let me know when you through with that.”

  “Do me that favor,” Isaac told him.

  Spoony sat down and rubbed his hands together. “How much you want for her? I know she’s been running your stuff since Valerie died. I’m prepared to compensate you.”

  Isaac laughed. “Man, give me fifty cents, I don’t care. Just take her off my hands.”

  Spoony ran his hands up and down his cheek. “You think she’d play around with Linda and let me watch?”

  “If the price is right, she’ll do anything.”

  Spoony smiled. “Oh, I’ll pay for the play.”

  30

  “Hey, Nina. How’s it going?”

  Nina was behind the counter folding clothes when Keith came in. She looked up and smiled. “It’s going well, Keith. How about you?”

  “Not too good.” He put his hands on the counter. Looked around, then leaned over the counter a little bit and whispered. “Listen, Nina. Do you suppose I could talk to you for a minute?”

  Nina looked into Keith’s sad, withdrawn eyes, and saw the same despair she noticed every time he came into the laundromat. Maybe today, he would finally let go of the pain that’s consuming his life. “Sure, Keith. You want to come behind the counter or talk in the office?”

  He looked at the office door. “Naw, let’s stay out here. I don’t want Isaac trippin’.”

  “Oh, don’t worry about him,” she waved her hand dismissing the thought. “He took Donavan to the mall to get him fitted for a new pair of shoes. And you know he won’t be able to stop with just one pair,” Nina laughed as she opened the office door.

  “That boy is getting big; he’ll be walking soon.”

  They sat down, Keith on the sofa, Nina in the chair opposite him. “I know, I can hardly believe he’ll be one next month.” She shook her head. “Where does the time go?”

  Keith didn’t say anything. He looked at Nina. She caught that glimpse of despair again. He put his head down.

  Nina was silent, determined to wait him out.

  He leaned over and started tapping his fingers on the coffee table. He fidgeted in his seat. He put his hands on his head and started pulling at his hair, and rocking back and forth. “I can’t get this stuff out of my head!”

  Nina was silent.

  “I am tormented day and night.” He stopped rocking and looked at Nina again. “I keep seeing it over and over again – all the stuff I’ve done – I just can’t push it out of my mind anymore.” He turned an accusing eye on her. “And then I see you. And do you know what you said?”

  Oh, Lord, please deliver him. “What, Keith?”

  “He that is saved from much, loves much.” Nina smiled. Keith rubbed his forehead with the palms of his hands. “Remember when you told that story about the prostitute crying at Jesus’ feet? I was playing with Donavan, but I remember – I remember every word. How can that be true, Nina? How can God forgive so much sin?”

  “I don’t know how He can, but I know He will.” She scooted up a bit and grabbed his hand. “I also know that God loves you, and He wants to take away your pain.”

  Keith snatched his hand back and stood up. “You don’t know, Nina. You don’t know the things I’ve done.”

  “God knows, and He still loves you.”

  Keith walked back and forth. Up and down, he rubbed at his face, and then stopped in front of Nina. “I paid for three abortions. Did you know that?” He threw his hands up in the air and started walking again. “I’ve stolen, dealt drugs. I’ve shot more people than I care to remember. But I had never killed nobody.” He stood deathly still and looked Nina in the eye. “Until Ray-Ray. I killed him in cold blood. That fact has haunted me for almost a year.” He slumped back in his seat. Nina sat on the edge of the sofa and rubbed Keith’s back.

  “Moses was a murderer,” Nina said softly. “And God picked him to deliver His people out of Egypt. King David was an adulterer and a murderer. He was also the apple of God’s eye. Funny how God chooses to forgive and restore whomever He will. And He don’t seem to care one bit what the rest of the world has to say about it.”

  Keith looked up at Nina. His eyes filled with water. He opened his mouth, then closed it. He put his face in his hands and started rocking. Nina saw the struggle within, and started praying.

  Keith jumped up. “I got to go. I need to think.”

  ***

  “What have you done to Keith?”

  Nina was putting a fresh diaper on Donavan when Isaac
stormed into the office. It had been a week since she’d seen Keith, so she hadn’t the foggiest idea what Isaac was talking about, and told him so.

  “He’s over at his house crying like a baby, talking ‘bout ‘God forgives murderers’.”

  Oh, Jesus. Thank You. “Maybe I should go see him – make sure he’s alright.”

  “No, you’ve done enough damage, with all them Jesus stories you tell around here.” He grabbed her shoulders. “Just stay away from him.”

  Nina tried to pull away from Isaac, but his grip was unyielding. “Isaac, please. You’re hurting me.”

  As quickly as his eyes burned with anger, they now smoldered with lust. He hadn’t held Nina this close to him in a long time. And as much as it pained him to admit, he missed her more than he would have thought possible.

  He bent his head. Just as Nina opened her mouth to protest, Isaac covered her mouth with his own. Desire spilled from him as his body heated. “I want you, Nina. Don’t you know that?” He rubbed her cheek. “Can’t you tell how much I miss you?”

  He brought his mouth back down to hers and Nina yielded. She put her arms around him and allowed herself to be swept away by his kiss. She forgot that he was a criminal and that she belonged to God. She forgot about not being unequally yoked together with unbelievers, and allowed herself to dream.

  This moment, right here and now, she belonged to Isaac and he belonged to her. His kiss deepened and his hands caressed places Nina forgot could be ignited. She didn’t know how it was possible, with Isaac’s hands on her and his mouth claiming and devouring her – but just then, she remembered her vow to God.

  She tried to push away from Isaac, but he had a firm grip. “Let go, Isaac.”

  “No.” He whispered into her mouth.

  “We can’t do this.”

  “I ain’t got no problem with it,” he said defiantly.

  “I belong to God. Fornication is sin.”

  He released her with a shove. “You and me,” he pointed to where his son lay sleeping, “and Donavan are family. It wouldn’t be fornication, Nina. It would be magic.”

  Nina lowered her head and stepped away from Isaac and his magic. In a barely audible voice she said, “I have decided-”

  “What? Speak up!”

  A boldness grew in her that she was unfamiliar with. She lifted her head and looked Isaac smack dab in the face. “I have decided to serve the Lord. All else is secondary or non-existent.”

  Isaac’s body went cold as he took in her hurtful words. “Well, I guess I should thank you for making it clear that our relationship is non-existent. But are you actually telling me that our son comes second to this God of yours?”

  Nina sighed. “The only way I can truly love my son is by loving God first.”

  “That’s a bunch of bull. You are a naturally loving person. You’ve always been good, Nina.”

  Her eyes misted over as she asked Isaac, “Then why did I abort my first baby?”

  He didn’t have an answer for that. Better to just let that sleeping dog lie. “Nina, why do you hang your hopes on this God? What has He done for you?”

  She smiled. “He’s done everything.”

  “He can’t save you, Nina. He didn’t save my mother from my father.”

  “I’m sorry for what happened to your mother. But your heart has become filled with so much hatred over this – if you would only forgive.” Nina softly touched Isaac’s arm. “Please, Isaac, can you try to forgive your father?"

  Isaac’s lip curled. “I wouldn’t piss on that man if he was on fire, and you ask me to forgive him? You might as well ask me to believe that this God of yours exists.”

  “God is real, Isaac.”

  He changed the subject. “Are we going to make love?”

  “I can’t.”

  Isaac clenched his fists and punched at the air. “Fine! Keep it. Matter fact, let it shrivel up and die from inactivity.” He stormed out of the office letting every one of the customers in the laundry area know that he had a big ol’ attitude problem. He turned back to Nina as she stood in the doorway of the office watching his departure. “I don’t want to hear another word about God, Jesus, or whoever else you sit around here telling stories about. If your God is so great, let Him warm your bed, but He better never be mentioned in this laundromat again.” He slammed the door, leaving several stunned patrons behind.

  She tried not to watch as he walked to his car – tried not to miss him, tried not to hope for his speedy return. But it was like trying not to breathe. She didn’t know what curse had been placed on her that she was destined to forever yearn for what she could not have. But through all of his unfaithfulness, his evil doings, and mockery of her God – she loved him still.

  Maybe her feelings stemmed from the affectionate way Isaac treated Donavan. Yeah, that’s it. Her feelings for him are only a reflection of his treatment of their son.

  Lord, if You have increased my feelings for Isaac, then save his soul. If he will not come to You, then take away my feelings for him.

  31

  “I don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried everything.”

  Nina sat in her living room listening to Elizabeth talk about the fact that Kenneth had been attending church with her for two months now, but had still not been converted.

  She’d tried everything. She begged, she pleaded. Told him that she didn’t want to go to heaven without him. Elizabeth even brought out the big guns. She told Kenneth that if the rapture happened before he was converted, he would be left on earth without his family. She showed him the scripture that said, “In that night, there will be two in one bed: the one will be taken and the other will be left”. Kenneth just smiled and said, “Don’t worry. I’m thinking it over.”

  “So what do you think, Nina?”

  “Maybe he is thinking it over. He just needs a little time.”

  “No,” Elizabeth told her friend. “Kenneth is one of the good guys. He doesn’t lie or steal. He’s a reformed cheater and an African-American man, who also happens to be president and CEO of his own company. He just doesn’t think he needs God.”

  Nina shook her head. “Need I remind you that the effectual, fervent prayer of the righteous avails much.” Nina stood, and pulled her friend up with her. “Let me show you how it’s done.” Nina took Elizabeth to the back of the house. She got down on her knees while Elizabeth stood, watching. The next thing Elizabeth knew, Nina was wailing out to the Lord on Kenneth’s behalf. Elizabeth was amazed. The mere thought that someone could pray with such hunger and authority was something she had never considered. Nina, who was not bold by nature, boldly claimed Kenneth’s salvation in the name of Jesus. She cast down the strongholds that were holding Kenneth bound to the world and rebuked Satan’s hold on his life. When she finished, she stood up and looked Elizabeth straight in the face. “You cannot badger and harass Kenneth into the Kingdom. Pray, and get out of God’s way.”

  ***

  Elizabeth walked into her house. Kenneth was on the floor playing with Danae and grinning from ear to ear. Just then, Elizabeth thought she glimpsed perfection. Light-bright-freckles-and-all. He was her Adonis. “Hey, baby.”

  Kenneth turned to his wife. “Hey yourself,” he said as he opened his arms to her. “Come join us on the floor.”

  Elizabeth obeyed. “Where’s Erin?”

  “Upstairs, sleep.” He grabbed her in a bear hug as he watched Danae dance around the room. “I still can’t believe Danae is three-years old already.”

  “Well, birthdays come every year, ya’ know.”

  He rubbed her nose. “Yeah, I know smart aleck. It’s just that time passes so fast. Before I know it, I’ll be an old man with grandkids.” He squeezed her tighter. “I guess I just want to hold on to all of you forever.”

  Elizabeth opened her mouth to tell him that if the rapture came, he’d be holding onto nothing, but she heard the still small voice of Nina telling her to ‘get out of God’s way.’ She kissed Kenneth full on the mout
h and let her love speak volumes.

  Later that night, when Kenneth made love to her, the passion inside him burned deep into her soul. She rode the tide of their love on the sea of unforgettable passion. And at that moment, even though she was ashamed to think it, she knew that she would fight anyone that tried to claim this man’s heart, even God.

  Sunday morning was an unwelcome invader. Elizabeth stretched and yawned. Light peaked through the bedroom window. She turned away from the loud morning sun, and got reacquainted with her friend, Mr. Sleep.

  Kenneth jumped up. “Oh, my God, we’re going to be late.”

  She rubbed her eyes. “Late for what?”

  Kenneth laughed. “The choir, babe. You sing this morning, remember?” He picked up her nightgown and tossed it to her. “Get out of bed! I’ll go work on the kids.”

  By the time Elizabeth came down stairs, it was eight thirty. Erin and Danae were happily seated at the kitchen table gobbling down Pop Tarts and orange juice. She shook her head and looked to Kenneth.

  “What? It’s nutritious.”

  She walked over to the counter, yawning as she went. “Just let me get a cup of coffee, and we can go.”

  Kenneth gave her a sheepish grin. “Good Lord, why are you always so tired lately?”

  She poured the coffee in her cup. “It’s not my fault. This crazy man comes to my room every night, whispering sweet nothings and – whew! The things he does to my…”

  Kenneth covered Erin and Danae’s ears with his hands. “My children shouldn’t have to hear all this filth,” he smiled. “And you, a Christian woman.”

  She turned around to face her husband as she sipped on the coffee. Kenneth released his children and walked over to Elizabeth. He cupped her face in his hands and looked her over for a moment. “Your eyes, babe. I can see a smile in your eyes again.”

  She blushed, then turned from his inspection.

  “No, don’t turn away.” He turned her back to face him. “I don’t think I ever told you this, but one of the reasons I married you was because when you smiled at me, I didn’t just see it on your lips, but your eyes lit up. It made me feel like I was home. Like I was safe with someone who loved me.”