My Secret To Bear

by Becca Fanning

  Chapter 10

  Kassie didn’t know what to think. What could she think? Her entire world had been turned upside down. There was… there was magic in the world. There were supernatural things in it that she could never have imagined. Looking over at Taylor, she suppressed the desire to run—run away from it all and try to pretend that none of this had ever happened.

  If what Cole said was true, then her daughter was like him. One day, she would have the same power that he had, and she would be able to transform like he could. The idea of it was overwhelming, like nothing else she could even imagine. The fact was, she still couldn’t imagine it, even after seeing what she had seen. It was still like something out of a dream.

  But she had seen it, and she had better start accepting that fact. As much as she hated to admit it, Cole was the only person that could guide Taylor through that process, when and if the day came that she did gain those powers, and she didn’t want her daughter to be alone in that world.

  With a sigh, she went to the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea. She needed it after being up all morning with these thoughts.

  Taylor was in the living room playing with a doll, oblivious to the fact that there was anything in the world to be worried about. That fact managed to bring a smile to Kassie’s face, despite everything else that was going on. So long as she was okay, there was hope in the world. There was hope that everything was going to be all right.

  With a sigh, she tried to think of what was going to come next. Yes, she was glad that she had been able to help him. And she was drawn to him. But she didn’t know what that meant or what role that he would play in the lives of her and her child. She was still confused by so many things. If everything that he said was true, then there were real dangers out there, real dangers that she would have to be aware of now for the sake of Taylor. Hell, for her own sake.

  For so long, it had just been the two of them. Now she was inviting a virtual stranger into their lives. It was a terrifying thought, and she didn’t know what to do with it. When she first saw Cole, she had pitied him. Now she was learning more about him and how he had come to be the man that he was, and in a strange way she was coming to admire his strength. But she still didn’t know exactly what to make of him, of everything that was going on between them.

  She didn’t know what to make of the fact that she was beginning to consider the two of them together. But how could she not, when they shared that point of connection due to their daughter? Kassie had tried so hard at first to pretend it meant nothing, but now it was so obvious how much that meant. And it wasn’t just that, either. Cole made her feel something—something she had never felt before for any of the other men who had wandered into her life.

  Setting down her mug of tea, Kassie glanced to the window. The morning light streamed through, and she could still hear Taylor playing in the living room. It was just another morning. She could almost convince herself that nothing had changed in her life, even though everything had changed in just a few short days.

  And she knew that more things were about to change.

  “Mommy! Mommy, look!”

  Turning back around, she saw that Taylor had assembled something with her blocks and was trying to get her attention.

  “Oh, yes! Very good!” Leaving behind her moody thoughts, she went to play with her daughter. This was the one bright spot in her life, at least, when everything else was mired in shadow.

  Taylor got an intense look in her eyes.

  “Taylor?” Kassie frowned. “Is something wrong, sweetie?” she asked, reaching out to run her hand through her daughter’s soft hair.

  “A bear, mommy,” said the little girl haltingly, in her quiet baby voice. She seemed unsure of herself. Even at her young age, she knew that this was something that should be impossible. Bears didn’t live in the city. They lived in the woods. But the moment she said it, Kassie’s heart started to beat inside her chest.

  “What do you mean? How could there be any bears around here?” she said, hoping against hope that this was some flight of fancy of her daughter’s, but Taylor shook her head.

  “I smell the bear,” Taylor insisted.

  From her spot on the floor, Kassie slowly turned toward the door. Was it Cole? It had to be. But he had mentioned others as well. She was just beginning to wonder what she should do when there was a sudden knock, and she jumped, startled beyond belief. She hesitated for just a moment but finally got up and made her way over, every muscle tense as she reached for the doorknob and pulled it open.

  “I’m sorry, Kassie,” said Cole immediately, before she even had the door open all the way. “I’m sorry to just come over like this, but I needed to talk to you, right away, and now was the only time…”

  “Cole.” She closed her eyes briefly as the fear flooded out of her to be replaced by relief. “It’s okay. I mean… you should have called first. But… I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m saying right now.” Reaching up, she brushed her hands through her hair, feeling foolish in front of him. “Just come in,” she finally said, stepping back.

  Cole nodded and entered, but almost immediately his eyes darted across the room and he froze in the entryway, the door still wide open behind him. Kassie tracked his gaze and then realized what he was staring at—or who. Taylor was still in the living room, and it struck her then that this was the first time that he had properly seen her. But the moment passed, and he continued inside, letting her close the door.

  “Those men, the ones I told you about, they found me last night,” he started almost immediately. “They’re determined to find you and Taylor, Kassie.”

  “What… what does that mean?” Shaking her head, she tried to comprehend exactly what it was that he was saying to her. “Are you really trying to tell me that we’re in danger, Cole? How am I supposed to believe this?”

  “I know I’m just some stranger to you, that you have no reason to trust me on this,” he said. “So, I don’t know what I can say to make you believe me. All I can do is tell you to be careful, for now, and promise that I’ll always be here when you need me. If that means anything to you.”

  “It does—”

  “Mommy?”

  Looking down, Kassie realized that the pair of them had been so wrapped up their conversation near the door that they hadn’t even noticed that Taylor had drawn near them. But now there she was, standing right at her feet and looking up at them, a look of concern on her small face.

  “Mommy, what’s wrong?” she said, or tried to say, lisping the words and reaching up for Kassie. She bent down to pick Taylor up, sighing as she did so. Meanwhile, Cole had a strange look on his face again, and Taylor was turning around to stare at him.

  Taylor seemed to be on edge. She had sensed him coming, so certainly she could sense him now, Kassie thought—sense what he was, that he was different.

  “Nothing’s wrong, darling,” said Kassie. “This is mommy’s friend. His name is Cole. Can you say hello?”

  Taylor continued to stare at him, her small hands clutching at Kassie’s shirt. She murmured something that might have been a quiet ‘hi’ before burrowing her face in her chest, making Kassie chuckle despite the awkwardness of the situation. Meanwhile, Cole was still simply standing there, seemingly taken aback by everything that was going on right then.

  “She can be a little shy.” Kassie stroked Taylor’s back then gestured for Cole to follow her further into the apartment before heading toward the kitchen. “I was just about to make some breakfast before you came. Would you like to join us?”

  “Oh. Ah… If I wouldn’t be intruding, I guess…”

  “I wouldn’t have invited you if I thought you were intruding.”

  Shifting Taylor to her hip, she thought for a moment. She didn’t have much—it had been at least a week since she last had a chance to go grocery shopping—but she could probably manage bacon and eggs for three, little one included.

  “I could make you a cup of coffee, if you’d like,”
she offered as she started pulling ingredients out of the refrigerator, looking over and seeing Cole sitting down at one of the chairs at the small table nearby. He shook his head though.

  “I’m fine, thanks.”

  “Orange juice?”

  “Oh… That’d be good.”

  Kassie chuckled, unable to help herself. The man seemed taken aback, like he couldn’t believe he was being treated so well. Maybe he really couldn’t, from what he had told her about his past. Pouring him a glass, she slid it across the counter before getting started on breakfast.

  “So, you really don’t know anything about these… people.”

  “Uhm…. No.” Cole shook his head as she finally set a plate down in front of him, taking her seat next to him and sitting Taylor down in her own seat. “I really don’t. I’ve heard rumors before. Of shifter clans. But I told you before, until now, I’ve never met any other shifters besides myself.”

  “But this whole thing with… with blood supremacy or whatever. It’s so…”

  “I know.” Cole sighed. “But I wish I could say that I was surprised. I’ve seen plenty of awful prejudices in my time as a Marine. On both sides of the enemy lines. It’s easy to build up hate for the people that are different from you.” He looked over at Taylor then, who was lazily picking up fingers full of eggs and poking them into her mouth. A gentle smile came over him. “It’s the ones who get caught in the middle who have it hardest. The ones who get called half-breeds. Both sides end up hating them.”

  “People don’t know that—what did you call them, shifters?—even exist.” Kassie exhaled slowly. “Do you really think that if they did people would hate them so much?”

  “I’ve been around humans who knew about me. And…” Cole trailed off as memories came back to him. “Feared. People are afraid of us. Of the animal that lies inside us. And fear breeds hatred.”

  “I’m sorry, Cole. But I’m not afraid of you.” Without realizing she was doing so, Kassie reached out to him and lay her hand on his shoulder. He flinched but didn’t move away as she let her hand rest there for a long moment. There was something about that point of connection that warmed the both of them.

  Kassie could feel it. Inside her heart, there was an aching sensation, a desire to know even more about this man, to heal the pain that had plagued him for so long. Finally, she let go, turning back to her own breakfast, and letting her eyes move away from him.

  “So… uhm. Tell me more about this… this ability of yours. You said something about sensing that those men were gone. You mean you really could tell? Before you got here—I mean, right before you knocked—Taylor said something about a bear…”

  “Bear!” she chimed in happily, surprising the both of them. She banged her fork against her plate in time with her chant, “Bear, bear, bear,” before she returned to what she was doing.

  “Yeah,” said Cole.

  “Even when you’re not… you know…?”

  “It’s better when I’m shifted, but yes. I can sense things better than most humans. Smell, see. Even feel, though that’s a bit new to me. I can tell that Taylor is… different. But it’s not just that she’s… I mean that, I can feel that she’s…”

  “I see.” He meant that he could feel that she was his daughter, but somehow that wasn’t surprising. Even without power, she could feel that sort of connection to Taylor. She had from the very moment she was born.

  “It’s a strange thing, the connection between a parent and child,” she said, reaching over to Taylor. The little girl hardly seemed to notice the touch. She was still far too interested in her breakfast. “When Taylor was born, she… she wasn’t breathing. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. No, not one of. It was the absolute scariest moment of my life. Until that instant, I wasn’t certain I wanted to be a mother. But then I knew. When the doctors took her away, when they started working on her, trying to get her to breathe again, I wanted nothing more than to hold her in my arms.”

  Cole had frozen in place. He was staring at Kassie, and he seemed to have gone pale.

  “It was really that bad?” he said. His voice was quiet. He seemed terribly affected by what Kassie was saying.

  She nodded. “She had to be kept in the NICU for a while after. But, of course, you can see she’s happy and healthy now.” She smiled, looking over at Taylor.

  “When… uhm. When was she born? When is her birthday?”

  “Hm? Oh. It’s November 4th.”

  Cole shook his head. “Goddamn it,” he murmured, setting down his fork beside his plate. “That explains it. That explains so much.”

  Kassie looked over at him. He was visibly pale now.

  “What is it?” she asked.

  Squeezing his eyes shut, Cole took a deep breath. “Early in my deployment, my platoon got information on a secret bomb-making facility in a neighborhood in Lashkar Gah. We rolled in there deep, ready for hell. I breached the door and inside we arrested two guys with enough stuff to blow up a city block. But then I had this horrible feeling, this sadness that paralyzed me. I could barely breathe. I didn’t notice the third guy hiding in the apartment, and he was able to detonate his vest. We lost our squad sergeant on that day. November 4. I must have somehow sensed what was happening. I must have been connected to Taylor, even if I didn’t know…”

  “Wow.” Kassie stared at him. It was still strange to think about, but she could tell he wasn’t lying about what he was saying. His reaction was too sincere. “I may not have powers, but I know what you mean, Cole. I felt the same way when I was laying there. Like my heart was being torn out of my chest. All I wanted was to know she was going to be all right.”

  “Well, she’s the most beautiful little girl I’ve ever seen,” he said, smiling as he looked over at her.

  “She is, isn’t she?”

  “I’ll make sure nothing happens to her, if it’s the last thing I do.” Cole spoke so earnestly, with such passion in his voice, he seemed transformed from the man that she had met not so long ago. It did something to Kassie to think that he cared so much for their daughter, to think that he was so strongly connected to her.

  Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to let him in. It scared her to think about it, yes, but would it be so bad to let this man into the life of his daughter? She had always thought that it would be okay if Taylor grew up without a father, that she could be enough for her daughter. But this man already seemed to care so much about her, and he barely knew her. If she could have a father like that…

  It was still too early to think about the long term, but Kassie realized that she was becoming more open to the possibility of letting Cole into Taylor’s life, if that was what he wanted.

  “Just make sure that you take care of yourself too,” she said with a soft smile for Cole. He nodded, as if the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. And perhaps it hadn’t. He didn’t seem like the type who had put much thought into self-preservation over the years, from what he had told her. Maybe it was time to change that, though, especially if he was going to play the role of father in a young girl’s life.

  Now that breakfast was finished, Kassie busied herself with picking up plates and cleaning them. Cole didn’t seem to know what to do with himself and was surprised when Taylor started babbling to him, her arms outstretched.

  “Ah…”

  “Oh, just pick her up. She wants your attention,” said Kassie.

  Looking back at the two of them, she saw Cole awkwardly pick her up from her seat and pull her into his arms. Despite his awkwardness though, the little girl immediately seemed to take a liking to him, moving close and holding on to his shirt.

  “Hey, there,” said Cole, looking down into her face as Taylor giggled and looked up at him. “Is she usually this good with strangers?” he asked.

  “Well, she can be a little shy, like I said,” said Kassie. “But she seems to have made an exception for you.”

  It was proof enough for her that Cole belonged right where he was, regardless o
f the fact that it made her nervous to let him in. Taylor had welcomed him in with open arms, quite literally, in fact, and maybe she needed to be more open to the idea that her daughter needed her father. She had never counted on this happening. Never in a million years had she expected the man who had passed through on that night to pass right back into her life.

  But now it had happened, and all the other things that he had brought with him notwithstanding—the magic and the mystery—one thing was certain. He was Taylor’s father, without any doubt.

  “Taylor? Why don’t you show my friend here some of your favorite toys?” she said, moving closer and placing a hand on Cole’s shoulder to guide him toward the living room. The little girl smiled eagerly at the idea, and before any of them knew what was happening, the pair were bonding over dolls and play sets on the floor while Kassie watched, ideas forming in her head.

  Yes, this may very well be the start of something special, she mused.

  Chapter 11

  Cole had told her there was a danger out there to worry about, that there were men, shifters like him, who could potentially be a harm to her and her little girl. But Kassie still didn’t really know what to think about that. For her, life had to go on. She had work to do and a daughter to raise, so things were business as usual.

  He had said that he would protect them, and she didn’t really know what that would entail. Were these people really as dangerous as he said they were? They lived in the city. It wasn’t like they could just transform into bears in the middle of the street and come after her. The thought was just… ridiculous. After all, they wanted to protect their identities, didn’t they?

  This thing didn’t make sense to her. The idea of an entire world of magical beings that she could never have even dreamed of was still beyond her reckoning. She was doing her best to try and wrap her head around it for the sake of Taylor and, she supposed, for Cole too. But it was still difficult to comprehend what all of that meant, what her place in that world was going to be.