My Secret To Bear

by Becca Fanning

  Cole wasn’t spared from the family time either. He was drawn into playing with the dolls that Taylor had brought along, and to Kassie’s great amusement—something that warmed her heart considerably—he took to it more than she could have imagined a man like him doing.

  “What’s the prince going to do next?” he would ask, and then wait patiently while Taylor gave a rambling reply in response. If it hadn’t been for the threat hanging over all their heads, it would have been a happy time, but Kassie couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that always rested inside her. Nor could Cole, it seemed, because every time they put Taylor to bed, the same look of fear and worry would come back onto his face.

  It was obvious that he, like her, was still doing his best to conceal all those fears while Taylor was awake, but it was simply impossible to continue doing that all the time. And so, they each gave into their fears when it was just the two of them and they could comfort each other.

  And there were other things on Kassie’s mind too. She hadn’t forgotten that Cole was still reeling from his own experiences as a veteran, from what had happened to him as both a Marine and a shifter. He didn’t need to be going through this right now, and she worried what it was doing to his psyche. Cole deserved so much better than this, she found herself thinking more than once.

  Yet, in many ways, he seemed to be dealing with things much better than she was. Far from the man she had first encountered when she reunited with Cole, he was strong and resolute, ready to take on anything no matter what it was. He had a firm purpose—to protect Kassie and Taylor at all costs. She just worried that “at all costs” still meant that he was willing to put himself in harm’s way if it meant the protection of herself and her daughter.

  Kassie couldn’t let that happen. Her one wish was for all of this to be over so she could tell Cole how she felt and finally get started on a future with him, with the life that she was beginning to realize she was destined to have with this man from the moment that they had first met. But would she ever get that wish? It was all so uncertain.

  In truth, it had been a long time since Kassie had even thought about things like love. In the past, she may have imagined that one day she might meet a nice man who could be a kind and loving father to Taylor, but what she had stumbled upon was like nothing she could ever have dreamed of. That she should meet Cole again after that one chance encounter was one kind of miracle. That he should be exactly the one person she was looking for—the one person who made her feel all those things in her heart she had barely even dreamed of feeling—was an impossibility. And yet it had happened.

  That was why she couldn’t let Cole slip away from her. Not now and not ever. She didn’t know if he felt the same way for her that she did for him yet. Certainly, he seemed to have some sort of feelings for her, though if it was just because she was the mother of his child or because it was something more, she didn’t know. However, she still wanted the chance to tell him and to pursue that if it were possible.

  She had already told herself a thousand times that she should just come out and say it to him, but she didn’t want to add yet another weight to what must already be a heavy mind.

  As she sat there thinking these thoughts, Kassie looked over at Cole, and her heart once again began to beat faster, so fast it almost made her head spin. This is ridiculous, she thought, her face beginning to heat up, and she hid it from view before he could look her way and see it. The more time that went on, the sillier she was acting just by being in his presence. And she was the mother of his child, for God’s sake! Surely, she should be able to deal with this reasonably?

  But love was the one emotion besides worry that seemed to overwhelm Kassie these days, and when she wasn’t consumed by one, she was consumed by the other.

  “Kassie?”

  “Oh. What?” So lost had she been in her thoughts that she hadn’t even noticed that he was speaking to her. Feeling her face heat up even more, she busied herself with folding up the laundry she’d cleaned that day at the motel Laundromat to avoid looking at Cole.

  “I was just asking where your keys were. I said earlier that I was going to go buy a few groceries, remember?”

  “Right. They’re in my purse. Card’s in my wallet. You can grab that too. Just remember to get some healthy things for Taylor. No junk food.”

  “Yeah, I know,” he said. “Grape tomatoes are her favorite, right? And the mandarin oranges in the little cups?”

  “Learning so fast! That’s right.”

  And then, in a flash, he was out the door. As soon as he was gone, Kassie let out a long sigh and dropped back against the headboard, feeling defeated by her own emotions. It was getting worse and worse each day, she realized. It was an odd thing to do she thought, getting caught up in these feelings of love in the middle of so much chaos, but she couldn’t help it.

  “Your mommy is being a silly,” she told Taylor, reaching over to run her fingers through the little girl’s hair. In response, Taylor giggled and ducked out of the way, but just as quickly leapt over and wrapped her small arms around Kassie’s waist.

  “Silly mommy!” she said. “I love my silly mommy!”

  “And I love my silly little cub!” she said, using the moniker she’d recently adopted for Taylor upon learning of her shifter heritage.

  If only it were so easy to say those things to the man in her life, she thought, as she hugged her little girl close to her. Oh, well. Those things could wait for another time, when they weren’t being hunted. That was if they escaped from the ever-present threat that was looming over them. She didn’t want to think about the possibility that they would never escape from it.

  Closing her eyes, she lay back and continued to hold Taylor, letting herself meander along with her thoughts for a little while now that Cole was out. Unfortunately, not having him there also meant she was more alert for any sounds from outside their room. She just didn’t feel as safe when he wasn’t around.

  By her estimate, it would be an hour or so before he came back. However, it was barely fifteen minutes before she heard rattling at the motel room door. Sitting up quickly, she pulled Taylor toward her, afraid of what might confront her when that door opened. Fortunately, it was only Cole, but the look on his face told her everything that she needed to know the moment he stepped in.

  “Cole! What is it?” she said as he snapped the door shut behind him.

  “We have to go. I sensed them just down the highway. They haven’t found us yet, but they’re close enough. They’ll find us soon if we don’t get out of here immediately.”

  Kassie immediately clutched Taylor close, cursing. Then she sat up and kissed the little girl on the head.

  “Sweetie, just hold on for a moment, okay? We’ve got to move again so just be patient for a little while.”

  “Mommy?”

  Taylor looked up at her with pleading eyes, but despite everything that made her want to stop and reassure the little girl, she knew that she just didn’t have the time to do that. She needed to pack, and she needed to do it as quickly as possible. Cole was already grabbing his things and putting them away, and now she was across the room and doing the same.

  The next hour passed in a blur. They got their things together and threw them in the car, and then before they knew it they were off without a second thought. The only thing that disrupted the tension in the air was the small tantrum that Taylor was throwing, which forced Kassie to sit in the backseat with the little girl and to try her best and comfort her as Cole did the driving.

  “Where are we going?” he asked at one point.

  “I don’t know. Just find us another motel away from those men,” said Kassie, and those were the only words they said to one another while they were on the road. When they finally pulled into another motel, now even further from the main center of town and even further off toward the woods, she felt utterly exhausted.

  Taylor was still in the midst of her tantrum, having fully picked up on the tension in the air, and not
hing could be done to calm her. And that was nothing to say of her own creeping anxiety at the idea that there was nowhere she could go where she would ever be safe from those other shifters and their plans for herself and for Taylor.

  “Maybe we should just keep driving, to the other side of the country,” said Kassie wearily as they pulled into a parking spot.

  “I can’t say I haven’t thought of it,” muttered Cole, glancing at her from the rearview mirror. “But I know these woods. And if push comes to shove, I can keep us safe in these woods, which is a good reason for us to stay in this area. Beyond that, I don’t know much about the shifters in other parts of the country. Except that a lot of them don’t like my kind.”

  “Other shifters?” said Kassie.

  “Wolves. Panthers.”

  “Wolves and panthers…” Kassie stopped herself before saying anything further. Of course, there were other types and not just bears. She didn’t even know why it hadn’t occurred to her before.

  “There are wolves around here, too, but not many, and they don’t come around too much. I’ve only scented them, never met them.”

  “Right.” She smiled weakly. Her head just couldn’t take this right now, no matter how much she had come to accept Cole and his powers. Seemingly taking note of that, Cole laughed softly as he reached over and opened the car door, getting out.

  “Come on. Why don’t you two go and book us our room? I’ll get our things out so we can get settled in for the night. I think you need a good night’s sleep.”

  “That is if I can sleep,” Kassie said with a sigh, but she did as he suggested, quickly making her way to the front desk and securing a room from a bored attendant before returning to Cole and locating the door numbered 22F. It was only when she stepped inside that she realized it had only one bed, and she felt her face begin to burn a bright scarlet.

  “Oh…”

  Cole was coming in the room behind her, and he stopped too when he saw the bed situation.

  “Ah…”

  “I’m so sorry Cole, I didn’t even think… I’m so used to just taking care of myself and Taylor.”

  “It’s okay…”

  And then, before she even knew she was going to do it, Kassie found herself saying, “But I don’t think it’ll be a problem, all of us sharing. It’s certainly big enough.”

  Out of all the things she could have said, this was perhaps the only thing that could have cut through the tension that had followed them from their former motel. Gone was the anxious worrying about the Iron Fur Clan. Kassie had turned around and the two of them were staring at one another. Kassie was more than aware that her face had gone beet red, and Cole had an amused look on his face and a twinkle in his eyes that she had never seen before.

  “That’s fine then,” he said. “It’ll be nice and cozy.”

  But when the night came, cozy wasn’t exactly the word that Kassie would have used. Aggravating was perhaps a better one, because the sensation of having Cole lying right there next to her was driving her crazy. He kept his distance—there was still a little space between them—but Kassie wanted nothing more than to close that distance. She wanted to reach out and touch him, to pull him close to her and lay her head on that broad chest. She just wondered if this was as irritating an experience for him as it was for her.

  A little way into the night, though, an answer came. Lost in half-sleep, she shifted and found herself pressed against Cole. She didn’t move away though. She couldn’t, not after the deep longing she had felt for some closeness to him after all this time. Kassie thought that perhaps he was asleep, but after a few moments, she felt his hand shift and move over her hip, pulling her even closer.

  “Cole?” she whispered.

  His response was to move his hand up and to rest it on her belly. Then she felt his head nuzzle into the back of her shoulder and to her utter surprise she felt a soft kiss touch down on the nape of her neck. The sensation sent a tremor throughout her body and heat rose up from somewhere deep within. If it weren’t for the fact that Taylor was sleeping just a couple of feet away, she would have given into her arousal. For now though, she just let herself relish the sweetness of the moment and the fact that she could indulge in this delicious closeness, despite the fact that she was still afraid to let Cole know just how much he meant to her.

  That closeness eased her body and her mind, despite everything that she had been through that day, and it was perhaps the only thing that finally allowed her the release of sleep that night. She almost thought that it had been a dream the next morning when she woke up and Cole was gone, except for the fact that she could still feel the tingle on her skin that meant that he had been there next to her. But where was he now? The answer came soon, as he stepped back into the room a few minutes after she arose.

  “Hey. Good morning,” he said as he walked inside. “I was just checking around outside to make sure everything was okay. Did you get a good night’s sleep?”

  “I did,” said Kassie, feeling herself starting to blush again because she was sure that they were both thinking about the way they had come so close to holding one another in the night. “I slept as well as I could, given everything.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. And there’s nothing and nobody around right now. Things seem pretty peaceful here for the moment, but I don’t really want to linger too long. Now that they know we’ve been staying in motels, they’re bound to be checking around.”

  “Yeah,” said Kassie. She had been thinking the same thing. She had a solution in mind though. While there weren’t many people in the area she could rely on, there were a precious few she counted as trusted and loyal friends, and at this moment she felt that it was time to call on those people. Though it was perhaps a bit selfish to involve others in her problems, she had the safety of Taylor to think about. “Hey… listen. I’ve been thinking about something.”

  Cole looked at her as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “What is it, Kassie?” he asked.

  “Cole, it’s me they’ve been tracking, isn’t it? You and me. But, if we could find a safe place for Taylor… Do you think that it would be a good idea to get her out of this for now? I don’t like the idea of separating her from us, but…”

  She could immediately see that he didn’t like the way she was thinking. He shook his head.

  “No. I can keep her safe, Kassie. I don’t know who you’re thinking of, but…”

  “But it’s true, isn’t it? They wouldn’t be able to track her, would they? Especially if we explained that she needed to be kept out of the public eye, or…”

  “Kassie.” He reached out and closed his hand over hers. “I know how terrifying this is. I’m scared too. But that doesn’t mean we should split up right now. Taylor needs her mother.”

  “I just can’t stomach the idea of something happening to her, Cole,” she said. “I’ve been running this over and over in my head, and if anything were to go wrong… I just don’t know what I would do. How could I possibly survive that?” She exhaled slowly. “There are some people I know that I could trust to keep her safe. I can depend on them, I’m sure of it. But I need you to be on board too. She’s your daughter as well as mine, after all.”

  Silence fell between them. Kassie didn’t like this idea, but she’d been going over it since yesterday and was beginning to think that it may very well be their only option.

  “Do you think these people can really be trusted?” he asked after a long moment.

  Kassie nodded. “They’re the ones who took me in after I had Taylor. The ones who gave me a home when I didn’t have any other. I know I can rely on them, Cole. They’re good people.”

  “Then I’ll trust your judgment.” And with that he squeezed her hand one more time. After that, Kassie was awash in a whirlwind of activity as she searched through her phone contacts for the number of her friends, and Cole went back out again, patrolling the outside area of the motel just in case those men turned up in the area. Taylor was busy watching cartoo
ns as Kassie sat on the bed and dialed the number, hoping against hope that she might just find a way to keep her daughter safe.

  After the third ring, she heard a familiar woman’s voice on the other end of the line. “Norah?” she said, feeling relief flood through her. “I don’t know if you remember me, but…”

  “Oh, gosh, Kassie! It’s been so long! How have you been!”

  “I’ve been… Well, I’m in a little bit of trouble. It’s actually… it’s really difficult to explain.”

  “What is it?” said the woman, her voice immediately taking on a note of intense concern. Kassie smiled. Norah had always been like that, treating her more like a mother than her own mother had ever treated her.

  “Like I said, it’s kind of complicated. I just need a little bit of help right now, and I didn’t really know anybody else that I could turn to, so I was hoping—”

  “You know that you can always count on me and Abram, Kassie,” said Norah immediately, without even waiting for Kassie to say another word. “Where are you? Are you at home?”

  “I’m at a motel. Still in Spartanburg… sort of on the outskirts. Taylor is okay. And I have someone with me. Taylor’s father.”

  She heard a small gasp on the other end of the line. Norah knew a little bit about the history of Kassie’s pregnancy, so she could imagine what Norah must think knowing that she had come in contact with the mystery man that had helped her bring Taylor into the world like this again.

  “Kassie…”

  “Can I come to your house and talk to you? And maybe find a place for Taylor to keep safe for a while? I can explain more when I get there.”

  “Of course. You know that our home is always your home, Kassie. I’m here right now, so come on as soon as you can. And be safe, okay?”