Crushing Desire

by April Dawn

  The power and strength of his body was apparent in every flex of his muscles. He gave the impression of being a tiger in a cage, his incredible power kept under perfect control. He swept his arms across his chest, drawing them up and then pushing them away from him. She found herself wanting to kiss the hollow between his shoulder blades. She closed her eyes, trying to force the inappropriate thought from her mind, but it refused to go. Others joined it when he leaned, rolling his hands as he moved.

  “What is that?” Reena knew if she didn’t say something, she might give in to one of the urges in her head.

  Joshua looked back. She sat up on the bed, holding the cover over her chest. Grabbing his shirt from a nearby chair, he moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

  “I learned it in China when I was seventeen and new to military life. It’s meant to give a man supreme control over his body and mind. To help him achieve harmony.”

  All at once she wished she knew it. To move with him, his silent strength lending to her own. The thought was somehow very sensual. Her eyes moved to his lips, and she couldn’t help but stare at the fullness of them.

  “I, uh…” He stood, rubbing his hands on his thighs. “I should go see if the food is ready.”

  “Wait.” Reena reached out, touching his arm, unable to help herself. “I…”

  The contact of her hand on his arm was electrifying. Her eyes met his, and she licked her lips. A chill covered her skin in goose flesh.

  “I…” She leaned in, her body flushing with the heat of expectation. His head lowered with the merest movement, and his mouth hovering near hers. “I…”

  His lips touched hers, and she closed her eyes, letting the sensation wash over her. Breathing ragged, his lips caressed hers before claiming her mouth. Her palm slid up his arm, coming to rest lightly on his shoulder. Moaning at the exquisite pleasure, she opened her lips, allowing his questing tongue to slide between them. A groan started low in his throat as his fingers came to rest on her arm. Slipping over her shoulder, his fingertips trailed lazily along her neck, and his tongue explored the hidden recesses of her mouth.

  Her mind raced, and she found breathing quite difficult as he lowered her to the bed. Her palms slid up to his neck, and a rush of warmth filled her insides. His palm crested her shoulder and slid over her collarbone, trailing across her neck. As his fingers toyed with the neckline of her chemise, concern for her lacking stays forced the erotic haze to flee from the edges of her mind and reality to return. For a split second, she wanted to allow him to continue. To let his hands and body claim her. Warmth, starting at her head and flowing all the way to her toes, made her pull her mouth away. Her hand closed over his, halting its decent. His lidded eyes and rugged breathing fairly stole her resolve, and she averted her eyes.

  “I… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I know that you…” He rolled from the bed, and Reena swallowed hard, wishing she hadn’t been so cowardly. “I shall return with our meal.”

  Joshua rushed from the room as though the devil chased him from it. She sighed, stood from the bed, and pulled a cream-colored gown from the wardrobe. Her mind vacant, she attended her morning rituals. When she finished, her stays lay loose on her back and her dress as well. It was quite like being naked, without the binding stays to contain her.

  She chided herself for her girlish embarrassment every hour that she sat there, wondering if Joshua planned to return before nightfall. When a knock came at the door she jumped from the chair in which she sat, still brooding.

  Remembering she hadn’t locked it, she bit her lip.

  “Open up, Reena,” Joshua called from the other side of the door.

  Reena opened the door, hiding behind it as she allowed him to enter. The first mate stood in the hallway behind Joshua, and when he tried to step inside, Reena barred him with the door.

  “I’m sorry, Gregory, but I have an issue that I must discuss with Josh… my husband. If you would be so kind as to wait for a moment?”

  She smiled and Gregory nodded. Joshua’s brows drew together as she closed the door behind him.

  “I thought we had agreed that you weren’t going to talk to him.” Joshua crossed his arms over his chest.

  “No, you told me not to be alone with him.” Reena gently reminded him.

  Joshua searched around for a moment before he spoke again. “Yes, well… You shouldn’t speak to him at all,” he huffed.

  “I do feel that I should remind you that he is the first mate. There may be a time where I need to speak to him to avoid rudeness at the least.” She tried to keep the annoyance from her voice.

  “Well, hell.” His vehement whisper was so soft that she almost didn’t hear it. “What was it you needed then?” He threw his arms into the air, and Reena suddenly wondered if he was jealous of the handsome mate.

  After Reena explained her obvious dilemma to him, Joshua made quick work of her stays and the buttons on her gown, seeming to know exactly what to do. The fingers brushing her skin were distracting, and by the time that they opened the door, she had to discreetly fan her cheeks.

  Gregory stood waiting when they opened the door, a friendly grin on his face.

  “You look enchanting.” Gregory’s smile dazzled.

  “Why thank you,” she said, “I do hope we are making good time.”

  The mate watched her, his head cocked. “In these times, there is too much turmoil to make truly good time, but we are well into it.”

  “We were coming to take my wife to the meal, were we not?” Joshua asked harshly, grabbing Reena by the hand. “Shall we?”

  He hauled Reena out of the door, and she fought to keep her lips straight. He was jealous.

  Their meal was quite enjoyable, regardless of Joshua’s constant insistence that they return to their room. When all was done, they took their evening stroll on decks. Gregory leaned a casual hip against the shadowed railing of the ship, sipping from a large mug.

  “Good evening.” He nodded politely at Reena.

  Reena returned the gesture even as Joshua tugged her past him and toward their room, murmuring something about the damned first mate.

  9

  Reena woke the next morning from a dream in which Joshua brought her into her father’s house as her husband. Her father was well, and her family was glad to see her. All of her friends, including Uncle Howard and Emily had joined them. Even Michael was there, wishing her well and shaking Joshua’s hand. She was almost sad to see the dream dissipate with the daylight. It was much more pleasant than a reality in which she had to maintain close quarters with a man that ran from the cabin when she was in it and rushed her back when she was out of it.

  When she rose to the side of the bed, Joshua was still in the room. He sat at the small table, watching her, his lips drawn into a faint smile.

  “What?” She patted her hair in search of the cause of the smile, but her hair felt neat for having just awakened.

  “Don’t concern yourself, you look lovely.”

  “Then why do you look at me so?” She was certain that there must be something wrong with her appearance.

  “Why? I can’t smile at you?” Joshua’s grin widened. “Who decided that rule?”

  “You’re teasing me.” Her hands pressed into the bed, and she tapped a toe.

  “A bit.” He reached into the trunk that sat next to his chair and pulled out the large chessboard that he’d bought from the store in town.

  “Have you ever played?” Joshua indicated the board with a slight nod.

  She put her hands together and stretched tall.

  “No, never. I’m sure I could learn it quickly.” She hoped to convince him to stay and teach her.

  “No doubt you could.” He held out his hand, indicating that she should sit opposite him. “I’m sure you will be a master at it in no time.”

  She grabbed her dressing gown from beside the bed and moved promptly to the chair, enjoying the idea of spending time with him. He pulled the pieces from the box and
began placing them on the board with the black pieces before her and the white before him.

  “This is a game of strategy as I’m sure you know. The goal is to capture the king by whatever means necessary.”

  As he placed each piece, he explained its function and movements, and soon the board was fully set. Reena slipped her thumbnail between her lips, sucking gently on it and considered her strategy.

  9

  Joshua found that he was having quite a bit of trouble concentrating. Reena would suckle her thumbnail, bite her lip, or fiddle with her hair when she was thinking. Her movements were a distraction from the game. He did notice that she was quite a good strategist, and he was sure that she would be a tough opponent even if he were completely aware of the competition.

  “I’m going to take you.” She moved her knight to take his.

  Groaning, he closed his eyes against the tempting disheveled woman before him. He should have waited until she was properly dressed before inviting her to play the game, but in truth, he had come to miss her in the recent days. When he took her out to walk the decks, the looks from the crew always distracted him, or that damnable mate that was always trying to charm her into thinking him innocent. The times when they were both in the cabin, he found himself running for the safety of hard labor in order to keep his mind occupied with thoughts that didn’t include her and the soft bed she lay in. Especially after the last kiss they’d shared. His self-control was waning. He’d lost all control when she’d lifted her lips to his, and he would have allowed himself to have her if she hadn’t stopped him.

  “I think that I’m about to win, Joshua. You’d best fight, or I’ll capture your king.”

  He gazed down at the blond figure that was his king, and then back to Reena. She had no more than learned the rules, yet she was right, she would capture his king. If only Reena knew that she’d already captured more than he had been ready to surrender. He wanted her, but more than that, he might truly love her. His feelings for her were different and much stronger than they had been for Juliet. He’d been very young when he’d met and married Juliet, and they been married for no more than a few years before her death.

  “That’s check.” Reena used her bishop to tip his castle and replaced the piece with her own.

  Indeed.

  He squinted, trying to concentrate on the game. On a method of stopping her from felling the king, but he could see none. The focus he sought remained unflaggingly on his thoughts, which unnerved him. He’d always been a man in control of himself. A man that ruled his body, heart, and mind with an iron fist. She had come along, however, and destroyed his self-discipline. His feelings for her grew more powerful by the day.

  He moved his knight to block her castle from his king. He didn’t miss the tiny lift at the corners of her mouth. It had been the move she’d wanted him to make, but for that smile alone, he would have done it again.

  “I got you.” She placed her castle beside his king. “Check Mate!” Reena beamed, her face lighting the dim room.

  “That you did.” Joshua leaned back, examining the board.

  “My brilliant little army men”—her fingers stroked a pawn—”and your forceful military strategy.”

  Her laughter rang out, but his jaw clenched at the word army. He hadn’t thought of it since they’d disembarked. The accursed first mate had been taking up much of his energy, and it had begun to fade. Now it popped back into his mind again. She’d given herself to Michael, and he’d left her to join the army. Left her to wallow in pain. If the man had been there Joshua would have thrashed him. Well, Joshua refused to do the same. He would try his damndest to keep himself from her. Michael had caused her much pain, taking her virginity, and then leaving while she obviously cared for him. Joshua promised himself that he’d not add to her pain if he could help it. He would wait and watch for a sign that she was ready for him. That she had forgotten Michael. And most of all, that she wanted him in the same manner he wanted her. Then perhaps, he would allow himself to have what he’d so long wanted.

  Chapter Seventeen

  The next two weeks went by almost uneventfully for Reena. The days had even become predictable. Joshua would wake and help the crew in the morning. When he returned, he would help Reena dress. He was getting quite good at it. They would meet the crew for the noon meal, and the crew always told stories and made her laugh. Then Joshua returned her to the room and helped the crew while she read. At sunset, he would return to get her for the evening meal. Afterward, they would walk the deck. When they returned, they talked or played chess for a while. He would take the chair when it came time for bed, while she slept in the bed. The captain and Gregory had come to the room several times, trying to entice her into going on a tour of the ship or out for a walk. But she remembered her promise and politely refused.

  “How are things aboard ship today?” Reena asked Joshua as they took a leisurely walk along the decks one evening.

  They’d been forced to anchor the ship twice for repairs, and the delays had been long. The first of which hadn’t seemed to concern the captain or crew, but after the second, they began to suspect foul play.

  “Things seem to be going well. There were no signs of sabotage today,” he replied.

  It was the only excitement in Reena’s dull day, and she wondered and speculated, trying to figure the mystery. She had always been good at that sort of thing. Whenever she read a book where something was not yet known, she usually figured it out before it was revealed. There were a few times when she’d been baffled right up to the end, but not many.

  “Well, when I think about it—”

  “Not here,” Joshua said, guiding her to the passage which led to their room.

  As they approached their room, a figure stood near the door, apparently attempting to open it. Joshua called out, and the man turned toward them. Gregory came forward, eyebrows raised.

  “I’d wondered where you two had gotten off to.” His smirk, directed at Reena, was enough to inspire Joshua to pull her to him. “I was coming to tell you what a lovely sunset we had this evening and to suggest that you come and see it, but I see that you’ve already been on decks.”

  The first mate moved past them in the narrow hall, and Joshua wrinkled a brow.

  “The sun set some time ago, and you just came to see us?” he asked of the man’s back.

  Gregory faced them, walking backward in the direction of the stairs that led to the deck.

  “Yes, well, I had other duties and only now was able to stop by.” He nodded to Reena. “I will see you in the morning, Mrs. Sinclair.”

  When the door to their room closed behind them, Joshua’s face held a very intriguing glower.

  “This ship holds a large amount of cargo, which hasn’t been paid for, right?” She placed a finger to her lips. Joshua frowned, but nodded all the same.

  “We heard the sailors tonight saying that the repairs weren’t costly, merely time consuming.” Sitting in the chair, she tapped one toe against the floorboards. “It all makes me wonder… Perhaps they are being sabotaged by a rival shipping company.”

  Joshua’s eyes flitted to the door, and his frown deepened.

  “I mean, if another company could sabotage the shipment then a competing ship could get paid for delivering it. Also, the original company would be a laughingstock if it happened often.” She tapped her lip for another moment then nodded. “It’s obviously someone trying to slow this particular voyage, don’t you think?” She gazed up a Joshua. Without waiting for an answer, she went on. “But who?”

  “All the men seem to express the fervent desire to make it to a more profitable shore as soon as possible.” He sat on the bed across from her.

  “Fish said that this crew has been together for quite some time. No new crew in years. That is the thing that has me stumped. Who would have reason to do this if they were a long time with the crew?”

  Joshua shrugged, his glare still pinned on the door.

  9

 
; “Search the hold,” ordered Captain Cromwell.

  Like a good sailor, Joshua moved quickly to obey. He enjoyed the life of a sailor, but his nights were pure hell. Every time he undressed, every time he listened to her undress and slip into bed, all he wished was to turn and take her into his arms. Whenever he helped her with her stays, his fingers touching the smooth flesh of her back, it was like torture. He wanted her so bad he could almost taste her flesh on his tongue. When he returned early from helping the crew and sat with her as she read, he would watch her toy with a golden tress, or lightly bite on her thumbnail in concentration, and all he wanted to do was bury his nose in her hair or take that nail into his mouth and suckle.

  Joshua walked into the hold, opening the first crate he came to marked repairs. Vaguely, he noted the loops and hooks that it held and headed for the next crate, his mind not on the task. He wanted her so that almost all of his spare time was spent with the crew now, helping out in order to keep his mind off her. The crew had even begun to joke about marital difficulties so near the beginning of the marriage, and what a shame that was. Joshua didn’t mind them making jokes, except when the first mate was near. Then he wanted to rip the smirk off the man’s face.

  The next crate he opened didn’t contain the spare bolts the captain wanted either. Several of the bolts that held the main mast in place had somehow come loose and fallen, making it impossible to raise the sail to catch the wind. If the sails were raised without the hardware, wind resistance might crack the mast. The calmness of the ocean made it easy to move as he shifted from crate to crate. He pulled the top off the next, searching and finding many parts and pieces but no bolts. He made his way to the next in line, and pried the lid loose.