Crushing Desire

by April Dawn

  “First, Joshua saved me and several others on the crew and is injured because of it.” Gregory shook his head, his voice hard. “Then you help save most of my men. Without medical care, many more would have died and some would be crippled by now. I was too busy trying to keep the ship in one piece to take care of the men. It appears both of you showed a bravery and resourcefulness that have put my men and me in your debt.” His emphasis of the word men gave Reena pause. Was he unhappy with them?

  Gregory shook his head and leaned in, taking her hand in his. She would have pulled away, but something in his eyes made her stop. For the first time since he’d sat down, he actually seemed sincere.

  “Also, you did save my son’s life. Fish would have died if you hadn’t found his injury and healed him.” Unexpectedly he stood, released her hand, and walked across the cabin.

  Reena gaped at the man. She had never known that Fish was his son. They both had dark hair and rugged features, but the boy’s face was softer, and his eyes shined.

  “I remember how bad he appeared after the storm.” His fingers came to rest on his chin, and his eyes focused on the air before him. “I’d spent the night by his side, watching him shiver, fearing that he would die. When I’d left him that morning, he was grey and sweaty.” He turned to face her. “I’ve seen death many times, and that was the visage my son had.”

  He came to her side, gazing down at her. “Then you came and healed him. You did what you had to do to help him, and now he’s recovering. I gave you one weeks respite for my son’s sake. Now we are even on all scores.”

  “Anyhow, from this moment forward, you can stay in this cabin with no fear of me or my men, though I must insist that you dine with me here in the evenings. Then, when your man is healed, I shall marry you, and you two can live as man and wife.”

  He turned and walked to the door.

  “Congratulations, Mrs. Sinclair.” His back to her, he walked through the doorway.

  She slumped down, her face hiding in her hands, breathing in long slow breaths. Were his words true? Or was this another clever ruse to exact his revenge?

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Reena slipped her nail between her teeth as Joshua took a tentative step across the hold. They were going to be married. She couldn’t keep the smile from her lips any more than she could keep the hint of suspicion from her mind. Two days ago, everything had seemed abysmal, but now all the things she’d sought after her whole life were about to come to be. She had always wanted to be loved. To be a wife and a mother, but she’d never thought it would happen. She had always desired Joshua, but never thought to have him. Reena had wanted to go back home to her family, but she wasn’t sure that would come to be either. Now they were all happening. Still, she couldn’t calm the doubt that their new captain had yielded too easily.

  For the past two weeks, the ship had been making excellent time. They would make it into port very soon. Fish was recovering well, but on her orders, he was still in bed, Most of the other crew members were hobbling around the deck, doing what they could to help out. Joshua was the only one who was still having trouble, though not unexpected trouble. In that time, Reena hadn’t been accosted by any member of the crew, and Gregory had been nothing but kind to her, on the surface.

  “How am I doing?” Joshua asked.

  Reena nodded as she watched his trembling legs, an image of the captain floating into her mind. Something was stopping him from doing what he wanted, but it wasn’t the gratitude he claimed it to be. He needed his crew and loved his son, but his anger was such that even with everything they had done, it likely wouldn’t be enough to stop his vengeance. In fact, every time he came near her, his muscles seemed tense, and a vein in his forehead pulsed. Reena couldn’t help but fear that whatever was forcing him to keep civil would dissipate, and they would find themselves in trouble yet again. She put the thoughts from her mind as Joshua took another step.

  “You’re doing very well, keep going,” she said, as Joshua’s legs wobbled a bit.

  The lacerations had healed, but his muscles were weak from inactivity, so he was having trouble walking. He stayed in his bed most of the time, resting as he healed. Reena smiled at Gunner, who was helping Joshua walk. He came in twice a day to help Joshua strengthen his muscles. Joshua was to remain in the hold until he could walk, mainly because Gregory wanted him there until he could marry them, which Reena found rather troubling. Things were civil between them when they took their meals together, though the captain’s glare when he thought she wasn’t looking made her pulse race and her stomach sour.

  Her wedding was a few days away, so she would only have to fret until then. She did not want to worry Joshua with the information about the captain’s frequent visits, instead she told him that it was her idea that he stay in the hold to ensure he healed properly. Reena pulled her thumbnail from between her lips and gave Joshua an encouraging smile.

  “I’m trying,” he said.

  Joshua was doing his best to give Reena a good performance. His legs shook with each step. It always took all his might to totter around the room, but he’d improved enough to walk with no more than a cane assisting him. He wanted to surprise Reena on their wedding day, so he worked on his strength every day.

  “I’m getting tired.” He held securely to Gunner, who steered him toward the cot.

  He hated to deceive her, but he wanted to see the expression of pride on her face when she came out and saw him standing there, unaided. Joshua would have jumped with joy, had he been able to, when Reena told him that Gregory intended to allow them to marry. He’d been uncertain of the captain’s motives until a few days after the storm when Gunner had told him what had really happened to bring on the captain’s change of heart.

  “Wait, I think I can make it.” Joshua increased his pace.

  Joshua had been surprised by the turn of events, at first. When he’d thought about it, he realized Gregory wouldn’t risk a mutiny in the middle of the ocean for one night with an unwilling woman and for the opportunity to use that night as a weapon to hurt him. Reena and he would be wed soon enough, and she would be safely home.

  “Good job!” Reena clapped as he sat on the cot again. “You made it all the way.”

  Joshua smirked, seeing her huge grin and the wrinkles in her nose. “Isn’t it time to check on your other patient?”

  Reena gasped. “Oh, the time got away from me. He’ll be needing a dressing change and some poultice.” She ran out not even saying goodbye.

  “She takes her healing duties very seriously,” Joshua chuckled as he faced Gunner. “I love that about her.”

  Reena was good at healing, and when it was time to be serious, she appeared to go into some sort of trance. He would never have to worry for the health of their children, not even if their son had his adventurous nature and her mischievous, inquisitive spirit.

  “Sure and that’s how the crew feels about the lass. Me Da always said: ‘A good healer is a cherished blessing.’” Gunner handed him his cane, and Joshua stood.

  “I’m so very grateful for what the crew did for Reena and me. When you told me that Talbert had wanted to claim Reena as his woman after the storm ceased… If the crew hadn’t stood against him…” He shook his head, eyes downcast. “Not telling her about what the captain had planned was the right thing to do. I don’t like the idea of keeping things from her. But I couldn’t bear adding to her fear with me being stuck down here. Christ. She would have been helpless, Gunner. If Talbert had succeeded. She’s strong, I know, but I have to protect her somehow.”

  “Well the men would ne’er stand by and let ye or the lass be harmed. Not after what ye did fer us. The threat of mutiny had been a natural one, and if he’s a smart man, he won’t think o’ botherin’ the wee girl again.” Gunner’s soft lilt intensified, and he squared his shoulders as he spoke.

  A welling in Joshua’s chest heralded fresh joy at the knowledge that Reena was safe for now. After she saved Fish, Gregory had decided t
hat in light of the crew’s threat, he would do the noble thing. If such a word could be applied to such a man.

  “Ye should stand now. I owe ye me life, so least I can do is be sure yer legs are workin’ come the day o’ yer nuptials.”

  Gunner had been his shadow since the night of the storm. He’d been given permission to help Joshua in his recovery, and he spent nearly all day with him. For a week after the storm, Gunner had even spent evenings outside of Reena’s room to ensure that no one tried to enter it.

  “You don’t need to spend so much time here. I know you’re needed on deck,” Joshua said, for the fourth time since he was injured.

  “I’ll be stayin’ with ye. I’m yer man now,” Gunner replied yet again.

  Joshua stood, clapping the hulking man on the shoulder. They had been through something that would bind them forever in Gunner’s eyes, and that was fine with Joshua.

  “Ye’ll be married soon.” Gunner followed Joshua toward the corner of the hold.

  “Thank God.”

  Joshua hadn’t been alone with Reena since they’d been separated by Captain Cromwell. He’d had a few conversations with her, but they were all short and mostly superficial. He missed her. He wanted to talk to her, to laugh with her, to touch her. Joshua turned and headed toward the next corner. His legs ached, but they didn’t shake, or fold, as they had in the past. He would be walking as much as he wanted to very soon. Perhaps doing much more.

  “Yer nearly well. When yer wed, ye’ll be standin’ strong. Sure as the sun will rise,”

  “I think so.” Joshua nodded.

  “Ye look fine holdin’ me Da’s cane. I must see that ye keep it,” Gunner said over his shoulder while they walked.

  Ignoring the burning fire in his legs, Joshua stopped, turning to face Gunner.

  “I couldn’t do that. When I get to shore, I’ll buy a new one.”

  Gunner gaped at him for a moment as though he’d punched him in the gut.

  “Ye saved me life, so ye can’t refuse me gift.”

  Joshua studied the man whose soft lilt and even softer eyes didn’t seem to fit his body.

  “Me Da was injured in a storm when I was a lad. He used it t’ heal, and me Ma said he healed so fast there must be fairy dust on the wood.” Gunner grinned, his eyes focused on the past. “When I left me home t’ become a man, me Da said it would keep me until another needed it more. Now I’ll be passin’ it on t’ ye.”

  “All right. I’ll accept it,” Joshua said. “Thank you.”

  The man never ceased to surprise him. When Joshua had first laid eyes on him, he had thought Gunner to be a ruthless and cold-blooded cutthroat, but over the last weeks, he had found that the man was nothing like Joshua expected. Never once had Joshua seen Gunner ogle Reena, not even before the storm. Joshua wondered how a man that appeared so rough in such tough surroundings had stayed so soft.

  Wheeling around, he made his way around the room and toward the cot once again.

  9

  Reena swept through the doorway of Fish’s new quarters, fresh bandages in her hands. The room was about half the size of the captain’s quarters and no more than the small bed and a trunk fit into it. Neither table, nor any other luxuries sat in the diminutive room. However, she was sure that this was better than whatever quarters the other sailors shared.

  “How do you feel?” she asked, on her way to where he lay on his bunk.

  Reena had learned that bravery was the most important thing to these sailors, and their loyalty wouldn’t waver from the person they respected most. Fish had earned the title, not because his father was captain, but because he’d saved many lives to the detriment of his own. He’d been injured, but the men respected him for his bravery.

  “Like I was stabbed in the back.” He coughed a little. “But I’ll live, thanks to my lovely doctor.”

  A giggle bubbled from her. Fish was so different from his father. She sensed no anger from him, and he could be quite funny at times. If life left this boy to grow as he was, he would be a great man one day.

  “Oh, I see someone is feeling much better.”

  His boyish smile lit the room, and he nodded. He sat forward for her to examine his wound, wincing slightly when she probed a tender spot.

  “So doc, when do I get out of this room?”

  “I think it might be all right for you to go to dinner tonight, if you are careful. As for the rigging, it will have to fix itself for a while longer. At least another week,” she said.

  She opened the wound to release the remains of the infection and changed the bandage. His wound was virtually dry and would soon need air to complete the healing process. In point of fact, she could have stopped wrapping it days ago, but she didn’t want to stop her visits with the boy. Since the captain had come to her, she had been afraid to spend much time alone in her room for fear that the worst would happen. That he would lose temper or patience with her as the captain’s ticking jaw often suggested, and his revenge would become inevitable.

  “Another week in this bed?” Fish sighed, sitting back.

  The week would give her more time away from Joshua also. Time he could use to heal. When she was alone with him, they both wanted to do things that wouldn’t aid him in healing. She certainly couldn’t spend the week on deck. There were still men for her to fear lurking in the shadows on deck. Reading and long conversations while playing chess with Fish was far preferable to any alternative.

  “Why so quiet?”

  Reena realized that she had been silent for quite a while.

  “I was thinking about our next chess match. Have you devised a way to beat me yet?” she said with a wide smile.

  “Not yet.” His grin was as broad, but his smile soon faded. “Now, tell me what it is.”

  Fish scrutinized her, seemed to be searching for the truth in the depths of her eyes. How could she tell this boy, who loved and idolized his father, that she was terrified of the man he so revered?

  “I miss my family.” She shrugged.

  His eyebrows came together, and after a long pause, he glanced away.

  “I can understand that,” he said softly. “Well then, let’s not keep the kings waiting.”

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Reena sat in her cabin, waiting for the inevitable visit from Gregory since he always brought their dinner. She’d grabbed another book from the trunk and flipped through it, trying to decide what to read when the door opened. Gregory had dispensed with knocking long ago and just entered her room when he thought he must. Reena had even taken to bathing in a dressing gown at all times.

  Gregory carried the large platter of turtle meat to the table. The set of his jaw made her take an instinctive step back.

  “You look lovely,” Gregory said, eyes dull.

  Reena peeked down at the long, serviceable brown dress she wore. There was nothing lovely about it.

  “Good evening, Captain,” she said.

  His eyes narrowed, but his mouth still turned up at the edges. “I asked you to call me Gregory.”

  There was a hard edge to his tone, and Reena gripped the book she held, her knuckles turning white.

  “I know, but you are a man with a grand title, and one that should be used.” She swallowed hard behind her polite smile.

  He practically threw the platter on the table, and Reena jumped in her chair.

  “Damn you, woman!” He towered over her, and all at once, she pined for the short, petite men that she’d always lamented.

  Leaning down, he put a hand on either side of her chair, trapping her into its small space.

  “I hold your life, and I free you. I hold your man’s life, and I free him too. I let you use my valuable medicines to heal him and even agree to marry you, and this is how you repay me.”

  She leaned back from the rage he projected, every breath a frightened gasp.

  “Do you want me to kill him? Toss him overboard and give you to my men? Is that why you are being so difficult?”

  �
��I…I…” She tried to speak in spite of the constriction in her chest. Her eyes filled with tears. Never had she been faced with such anger. She honestly thought he might do what he suggested, or worse.

  “I ask you for a little appreciation, and you can’t even give me that.” He shook with fury, and Reena trembled as well, though for a different reason entirely.

  “I’m sorry, Gre…Gregory,” she stammered, and immediately knew she’d made a mistake. She’d shown her weakness, and he was going to use it.

  A wolfish grin spread across his face, and his demeanor instantly calmed. He knelt in front of her, leaving his hands on the chair to pin her in.

  “That’s right,” he cooed. “You just have to give a little, and we can be friends. You want that right?”

  “Well, yes…I suppose. But…,” she said, still leaning back in the chair.

  “Yes, that’s good. I want that too. You’re going to be so happy in a few days. You want that too, don’t you?”

  Reena wasn’t sure she knew what he was coming to, and was even less certain she wanted to know. She had to remain calm. Reena nodded, heart pounding like a rabbit trapped by a fox.

  “Good.”

  He grabbed a piece of the greasy turtle meat and handed it to her. She took it, placed it to her lips, and nibbled at the edge while her stomach knotted.

  “You owe me. You know that, right?” he asked as he stuffed a piece of meat between his lips. “After all, this has all been your fault.” He reached over, grasped a cup, and drank.

  Reena feared to ask how this was her fault, and what was he insinuating that she owed? She didn’t have long to wait for the answer.

  “You see, if you hadn’t come along, we would have turned back after a few delays.” He stood then moved and sat the cup on the table, his tone intensifying. “We would have gone to port and never would have made that shipment.” Gregory turned and faced her, his eyes dark. “I would have had my ship, with my son as mate, and John would still be alive and in charge of the Princess.” He stepped back, his voice a growling snarl.