Brilliant Hues

by Naomi Kinsman

  Pips stared at her shoes. Now really wasn’t the best time for this conversation. Maybe we could talk about it tomorrow at the lake. A lot of this was my fault, and I shouldn’t let Pips take the blame.

  I looked around to see if Grant had followed us out of the theater. As I scanned the room, I saw him leaning against the railing that led up to the theatre. I couldn’t see the disappointment on his face, but I still knew it was there.

  “We should probably go, Pips.” I tried to smile at the other girls. “Don’t forget, tomorrow’s waterskiing. Dad’s starting the pick up run at seven am, so no sleeping in.”

  “I don’t think I’ll ever sleep again after this,” Bri said.

  I backed away with Pips, while Alice, Bri, and Juliet kept hugging one another. They grinned and told each other how amazing that had been and rehashed the look on Margo’s face as she turned down the award. It was like watching someone else’s friends.

  We picked our way across the crowd to Grant, and the closer we came, the worse I felt. Grant wouldn’t be around much longer, now that Tyler had decided to call off the mediation for a while. Tonight, Dad had said that maybe even as soon as next week, I might not need a bodyguard anymore. While on the one hand, everything returning to normal was a huge relief, I didn’t want Grant to leave disappointed in me.

  Pips kept looking back at the others, who were huddled tightly, laughing every now and then. If it came down to choosing between them and me, what would she do? What if I had changed so much or the others had changed so much, that we couldn’t bridge the gap? The aching loneliness opened up inside me again, and I wished I could curl up on the floor, right here, and hold myself together. Or have someone else wrap me up in their arms and make me feel like I wasn’t made of air and feathers, but like something solid.

  “Ready to go, girls?” Grant asked.

  I hugged my arms tight and nodded.

  Chapter 17

  Ambush

  “Hit it!” I called, and Dad gunned the boat.

  I kept my knees bent and pulled with my arms, but right after I popped up out of the water, I face-planted back down. As I bobbed back up to the surface, the boat circled around. The girls’ happy voices rang out over the lake. Somehow, today, it felt like last night hadn’t existed. We’d packed into Dad’s Jeep and driven up here, and Grant hadn’t even had to come, because Mom and Dad were with us. Finally, it felt like a regular summer Saturday, as we piled into the motorboat and took turns waterskiing. I knew I’d have to talk to the girls eventually. But right now, I wanted to hold on to this happy, back-with-the-girls feeling.

  “You okay, Sadie?” Juliet called.

  “She’s fine.” Pips laughed. “She has to crash and burn a few times every time we go out before she remembers how to do it.”

  “Ha, ha!” I grabbed the rope and prepped myself again.

  She was right. As a general rule, I had two crashes for every good run. But this time, I was going to get up on top of the water.

  I breathed in the cold Tahoe air, and shook out my shoulders. Relax, Sadie. Keep your knees bent. See yourself on top of the water. Don’t think. It’s just you and the water.

  “Hit it,” I called.

  Again, the boat’s motor gunned, and I pulled back hard, keeping my knees bent. I was plowing through the water, not quite up, and not quite down.

  “Stand up NOW,” Pips called.

  I pushed up and rebalanced, and suddenly, I was skimming across the lake. Since it was afternoon, the water was pretty choppy, but I managed to hold on. The girls cheered from the boat and a goofy grin spread across my face. Dad turned in a wide loop and I arced out across the water. If Pips were skiing, she’d be crossing over and across the wake, but I was happy right here, behind the boat, letting the boat and the water take me where it chose.

  Finally, my arms and legs began to shake from holding tight for so long. I threw up my arms and sunk down into the water.

  The boat circled around and I climbed back in, wrapping myself in the towel Pips offered.

  “I say we cook hot dogs and marshmallows over a campfire before we drive home,” Dad said. “What do you girls think?”

  “Ooooh!” Juliet clapped her hands. “Are we going to a store? I can do gourmet s’mores.”

  Bri elbowed her. “But regular hot dogs, right? Because I like mine burnt and crispy.”

  “We can get fancy barbecue sauce or mustard or something,” Juliet said.

  “All right,” Dad said. “We’ll find a campsite and Cindy and whoever wants to stay can work on gathering wood for the fire and roasting sticks, and the rest of us can go to the store.”

  “Why don’t Sadie and I stay,” Pips said.

  “Sounds good.” Dad maneuvered the boat to shore and we carried our gear up to the Jeep. We always put in the boat near a campground where Dad knew the owners, and they generally let him use a site for the afternoon, even if he wasn’t planning to spend the night. We found an empty spot, and waved the others off. Mom had brought her recliner chair and a book, so she settled in, and Pippa and I headed into the trees to find kindling. I found a spot under a tree where some branches had fallen and started gathering sticks.

  “Pips, about Margo …”

  “What about her?” Pippa crouched down to gather sticks of her own. “I mean, it’s all over, isn’t it?

  “But it was wrong, Pips, you know it was.”

  Pippa dropped her sticks on the ground and sat on a log. “Margo has been bullying people all year, Sades. No, it wasn’t right, but maybe Margo will lay off now. Maybe we can all just let it go.”

  “But what about the next time the girls want to gang up on someone?” I came over to sit next to Pippa.

  She kicked at the dirt. “I don’t know, Sadie. Before you and I talked, I thought what we were doing was right. And I’m still not sure it isn’t. And Alice thinks …”

  “What?” I asked.

  “That it’s because I’m Christian that I’m questioning the club,” Pippa picked up her sticks and walked away from me.

  I followed her, trying to get her to look at me. “When did she say that?”

  “Alice was really upset after you left Juliet’s house. She thinks you’re making me choose between you and the others, that this bullying thing is just the beginning. And she thinks I don’t want to be her friend because she’s an aetheist.”

  “But that’s not true—”

  Pippa’s look cut into me, and I remembered my thoughts last night, watching the girls, walking away with Pips. She turned away from me and knelt down for more sticks.

  I knelt down next to her. “Pips, I’d never want you to choose between me and the girls. You know that.”

  “Everything has been so strange between me and Alice, even with the other girls, ever since you got back,” Pippa said.

  It was like everything I’d worried about, from the first minute when Pips had shown me the pictures on her iPhone, it was all coming true. And I didn’t know what to do to stop it.

  “Pips, I …”

  “Look, I just need, I don’t know, Sades. I need time to think, to figure this all out. I want you to be happy and I want Alice to be happy, and I don’t know what to do.” Her eyes welled with tears.

  Something between us was breaking, slipping apart, something neither of us could fix. More than anything, I wanted to smooth things over, make everything right between us again, but I didn’t know what to say.

  She turned away from me. “My arms are full. Let’s take these back to the campsite and then we can come back for more.”

  We piled our kindling by the fire pit. Without discussing it, I went one direction for more, and Pippa went the other. Never, never ever, in our lives, had there been trouble between us that I couldn’t fix.

  I found some long sticks and stripped off the extra branches, making them into roasting sticks. I also found a few logs left behind by campers, and carried those back to the fire pit. Dad would probably need to buy a bundle of wood f
rom the campsite manager too, but the logs would be a good start. Maybe I could find some more kindling down by the lake. I walked in the direction of the loading dock, realizing I was alone for the first time since Dad had hired Grant.

  The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and I tried to tell myself I was just imagining things, but I had the creepy feeling someone was watching me. I turned a full circle, scanning the trees, but didn’t see anything. I was fine. Karl hadn’t shown up ever, since the elevator, and why would he be all the way out here, in Tahoe, anyway? Especially now that Tyler had dropped the case?

  I found a new patch of kindling and started filling my arms.

  “Hello, Sadie.”

  I whirled around. It wasn’t possible. It was almost as though because I’d imagined him, now here he was in real life.

  I backed away. “What are you doing here?”

  “I don’t think you spoke to your dad,” Karl said. “Or at least you didn’t convince him. And now, Tyler’s dropping the case. Just when it was about to end up in court.”

  I stumbled over a root as I continued to back up, but I managed not to fall.

  “You promised to talk to your dad for me, Sadie.” Karl kept forcing me toward the water.

  “You know how important this is. I explained it to you.”

  Like Mom said, it was the missing logic that made Karl so frightening. Why would he follow my family all the way to Tahoe, wait until I was alone, corner me on the beach? What possible reason could he have to do this? I’d thought that the next time I saw Karl, I would shout at him, tell him how wrong he was about the device, about Tyler. I’d tell him about Charlotte. But I couldn’t bring myself to say anything at all.

  Just as my feet splashed into the water, Dad burst from the trees. He stopped to take in the situation, me in the lake, Karl, still moving toward me. I’d never seen Dad run so fast. He plowed into Karl and knocked him to the sand.

  “What are you doing?” he demanded, standing over Karl with fists clenched. “What are you doing?”

  Even on the ground, Karl radiated with intensity. “I told you, Matthew, that I would have my way. So Tyler wants a break from the case. Too bad. It’s time that this was decided. And I thought Sadie could help me …”

  “Help you what?” Dad looked like he might punch Karl any minute.

  “Explain things to you,” Karl said, standing, brushing sand off his jeans. “But, I can see you won’t be reasonable. I don’t know why I expected you to be.”

  Even now, Karl wasn’t backing down. Dad took out his phone.

  “Call the police,” Karl said, holding up his hands. “Tell them I talked to your daughter. It’s not a crime. The next time I see you will be in court, anyway.”

  Karl turned to go, and as soon as he was a few steps away, Dad scooped me up out of the water and held me tight. I couldn’t stop shaking.

  “Let’s get you back to the campfire,” Dad said, and guided me toward the trees.

  Mom ran up then, and seeing the look on Dad’s face and my soaked shoes, she said, “What happened, Matthew?”

  When she pulled me into a hug, Dad made a horrible, angry growl. “Karl showed up. He just won’t stop.”

  “Matthew …” Mom warned.

  Dad ran his fingers though his hair. “I’m sorry, Cindy. I’m sorry, Sadie. I just feel so helpless. I think we should get Sadie out of here.”

  “You mean you want to go home before the campfire?” Mom asked.

  “No, we should eat or the girls will be starving on the way home. But tomorrow, we’re finding a way to send Sadie out of town. Could she go stay with your sister?”

  Mom bit her lip. “I’m not sure. I don’t think I can travel anywhere right now.”

  “I know you’re not up to it just now, but we can send Sadie,” Dad said.

  “You’re sending me on a trip, by myself?” I asked.

  “You’ll be safe anywhere but here,” Dad said. “I just want you to go for a few weeks until we can get this thing into court and legally tie Karl’s hands so he can’t keep harassing you.”

  “What if …” Mom began. “What if we sent Sadie to Owl Creek?”

  I stared at her, not daring to believe she had just suggested Owl Creek.

  I twisted my earring around nervously before asking, “Could I go visit … Vivian?”

  Probably best not to ask about Andrew just now.

  Mom looked relieved, as though she’d thought she’d have to sell me on this more. “Yes. Owl Creek would be perfect, Matthew, don’t you think? We know Sadie’s safe there, and she’s comfortable there.”

  “I’ll think about it,” Dad said, and then seeing the expression on my face, he added, “But don’t get too excited, Sadie. I haven’t decided yet, all right?”

  I tried to rearrange my face into a less hopeful expression.

  “All right. Let’s go get this fire started,” Dad said.

  Vivian. Ruth. Frankie. And Andrew. I nearly floated over to join the girls.

  Chapter 18

  Miles

  Mom and Dad had special passes to help me through security, and once we arrived at the gate, they started fussing over me all over again.

  “Are you sure she should go on her own?” Mom asked Dad. “What if Karl or …”

  “Karl’s focus is entirely on the case,” Dad said. “And when Tyler and I spoke last night, he agreed to go to court. He wanted to wait, but Cici’s condition is so up and down, the doctors aren’t sure whether she’ll be in limbo for weeks or months. And every day they wait to start work on the device is another day Charlotte has to wait for her own test. Plus, we both agree that something has to be done about Karl.”

  “I can’t imagine how Tyler must feel,” Mom said. “I wish we could do something for him.”

  Neither Dad nor I answered. We both wished we could do something too. The trouble was, no one knew what that was.

  Please, God, let Cici pull through. And keep the cancer far from Charlotte.

  “Are you hungry, Sadie?” Mom asked. “We could buy you some snacks, or a soda?”

  “I’m fine, Mom.”

  If it wasn’t for Charlotte and Cici, I’d be better than fine. This morning had been a whirlwind of packing and Dad on the phone making plans with Ruth’s family to pick me up at the airport. I’d stay with them, since Vivian was living in her trailer now and had very little extra room. After Dad had made sure I’d have somewhere to stay, he found airline tickets and figured out all the rules of a minor traveling by herself. I’d never traveled without my parents, so while they were totally worried, I could hardly stand still because of all the shivery excitement surging through me. And to top everything off, my parents had given me a phone—an old flip phone, but who cared—so that I could call if I needed anything. I’d promised only to use the phone for emergencies. But still!

  When I got off the plane, Ruth’s dad would meet me at the gate, since he was the official adult with the pass. And then, we’d go out of the security gate and Ruth would be waiting. Would Andrew be there too?

  I played with my earring and bit back my smile.

  The stewardess called the first boarding group, and I hugged Mom and Dad.

  “Be safe, Sades,” Dad said.

  “And call us the minute you meet up with Rick,” Mom said.

  “Okay. I love you guys.”

  They both hugged me again, and then Dad checked me in with the stewardess in charge. She helped me to my seat, and hefted my baggage into the overhead bin.

  I took out my sketchbook and pencils, which I’d kept in my smaller bag, and drew the view outside my window of the baggage trucks and various runways. Nothing else around me caught my interest, and I kept thinking of Charlotte’s hair flying every which way around her face as she was in the middle of landing on the Chinese jump rope. Even though she had so much to be afraid of, in that moment, light seemed to stream out of each strand of her hair and the tips of her fingers. She’d been filled with joy. I drew quickly, but
my pencils could only create the shape and expression. Maybe when I was in Owl Creek, I’d ask Vivian to use her paints to put the picture into color, the way it should be.

  After the airline attendants did their safety talk, we rolled to the runway, and the engines fired up. I folded my arms tight and tried not to look nervous. These first few minutes of a flight and the landing always made my heart leap around like a fish desperate to get back into water. As long as I didn’t think too hard about how much a plane must weigh, and the fact that it was only held up by momentum and air pressure, I could usually calm myself down. But Dad had always been there before to give my shoulder a reassuring squeeze, too. This time, if I looked too pale, one of the attendants would think I wasn’t brave enough to fly on my own, and I really, really didn’t want them to think that. I was fine, really.

  Please, don’t let the plane fall from the sky.

  I closed my eyes and breathed. I’d been asking God for a lot of things lately. Was that selfish of me? To think about God whenever I felt overwhelmed or at the end of my options? In many of his youth group talks, Doug had said God never gives you more than you can handle. Maybe that, more than the Karl ambush last night, was why I’d suddenly found myself here, on a plane, on my way to Owl Creek. I needed to talk, and sort out my questions. I needed to talk to Ruth and Vivian and Frankie. I needed to figure out how to stop messing everything up.

  Would my life always be falling apart? Last year, in Owl Creek, the mess had been different. My problems had mostly been inside me. But now, it seemed like all the problems were outside me, and even more out of my control. What was I supposed to do about Pippa, Karl, Cici, the girls? No matter what I did, I couldn’t really change the way things seemed to be playing out.

  The popping in my ears stopped, and outside my window, a thick blanket of clouds stretched to the horizon. My heartbeat slowed, and I turned to a new page in my sketchbook, not sure what to draw next. Charlotte’s sleepy voice came back to me. She had asked me to tell her a story about feeling God come close. Thinking about it now, I hadn’t felt that closeness, practically at all, since I’d left Owl Creek. Was I doing something wrong? Had something changed?