Because It's You (Carolina Rebels Book 2)

by Lindsay Paige

  “You could’ve told me.”

  “I know.”

  “Then why didn’t you?”

  “I didn’t know it then, and I was feeling so many different things I didn’t know what to do with, so I lied.”

  “And proceeded to ignore me.”

  “I was going to call you today,” she says quietly. “It’s been a hard few days for me, and I was trying to sort things out in my head. That’s it.”

  Her hands are trembling a little and she’s trying to keep her breathing calm. I can guess the answer before I even ask, “Did you get it all sorted?”

  Elizabeth laughs, but there’s no humor to be found in it. “Not even a little.”

  “So, what were you going to say when you called?”

  She takes a deep breath and faces me. All of the groceries are put away now. “I was going to tell you that I’m an idiot. I don’t know what I’m doing. I think less when you’re around, so if you could quit your job and be around me twenty-four/seven that would be great. My backup plan is to try not to screw things up, even though that’s all I seem to be doing.”

  “Do you want to be with me?” I ask.

  Her eyes widen at my question, though I’m not sure why. She just said she didn’t want to screw up, so I’m assuming the answer is yes, but I want to hear her say it. It’s Wednesday and before today, the last I heard from Elizabeth was Saturday when she left my house. Her mouth opens and closes.

  “Yes or no, Elizabeth. Either you do or you don’t. Either you want to work through it or you don’t. Which is it?”

  “I have problems. I—”

  “I know, Elizabeth,” I interrupt, crossing the room. My hands slide down her arms until hers are clasped in mine. “Answer my question. Do you want to be with me?”

  “I’m going to screw up.”

  Damn it. I sigh, pull her arms around my waist, and let her rest her cheek against my chest. “Why can’t you just answer my fucking question?” My question started out so well, but my annoyance got the better of me at the end. If she’d just say yes, then who cares if she screws up? Hell, I’m going to screw up. The point would be that we’d have an end game to look forward to and work toward. If she doesn’t say yes, then what’s the fucking point of us?

  I take a step away from her, ignoring how her arms seem to hang limply by her sides. I don’t do flings. I don’t do casual. I don’t do semi-relationships. I do full-blown, I’m yours, you’re mine, we’re dating, holding hands, kissing in public, claiming in front of everyone that I have a girlfriend, and if I like her enough, I start thinking of a future. Hell, I don’t have a girlfriend unless I can see some idea of a possible future there, even if we never make it to that destination.

  “Not in the future, right?”

  “I don’t know, Marc,” she whispers with a shrug of her shoulders.

  “Okay.” I nod to myself, wondering what to do with this new piece of information. “I should go. I’m supposed to have dinner with Noah and Meredith, and I’m already late. We’ll talk later.” I turn and leave without another word. I go home, of course, where I finally text Meredith.

  Me: I’m sorry for not coming. Blame Noah. Just so you know, if you wanted to sneak over here and see me, flash me, cheer me up, whatever, I’d be up for that.

  There are not a lot of times or situations where I admit defeat these days. It’s always been my motto that you keep your head up, keep fighting, and you’ll eventually make it through. But Elizabeth confuses the hell out of me. I don’t know what to do. At first, it was easy. I wanted her enough, I didn’t care about anything but getting to know her. Now, I’ve gotten to know her, I care about her, and she should be my girlfriend. I should be her boyfriend.

  What the fuck do I do with the fact that she just wants me to keep her company for the moment? The idea of that freaks me out. I may be the only guy on earth who frowns at the idea of a fling, rebound, or casual relationship.

  There’s a knock at my door. Who could that be? Not many people know where I live. Maybe I should not answer even though I’m obviously home.

  “Marc, don’t you want me to flash you?”

  I jump up at the sound of Meredith’s voice and rush over to open the door. “What are you doing here?” I ask. Then, “How do you know where I live?”

  “Lizzy gave me the address. I’m here because I talked to Noah and heard from Lizzy. Between that and your text, it sounded like you needed me. Here I am.”

  We sit on opposite sides of the couch. She sits with her legs crossed and her body angled toward me.

  “You talked to Elizabeth?”

  “Yes. We’re friends now.”

  “Since when?”

  “Since Monday. We had lunch.” She shrugs as if it’s no big deal. It pisses me off at first. While Elizabeth was ignoring me, she was busy becoming BFFs with Meredith! What the fuck? She could talk to her, but she couldn’t talk to me?

  “Lizzy said you left her house upset.”

  “Why did she tell you?”

  “We’re friends,” she says simply. “And since you told her you were coming to my house, she wanted me to tell her if you were okay or not. Tell me what happened.”

  “There’s nothing to tell. Before today, I hadn’t heard from her since Saturday morning. I dropped by to see her, and she doesn’t want to be with me.”

  Meredith rolls her eyes. “She said those exact words?” When I look away instead of answering, she continues, “That’s what I thought.” Meredith scoots closer and rests a hand on my arm. “Listen to me, Marc. You’re the first guy she’s liked since her first love died. After he died, she didn’t even think she would ever be with anyone else. She likes you, she likes being with you.” She suddenly slaps me across the back of my head. “Stop being a jackass! You scare her, Marc. A possible future with someone who isn’t the person she always thought she was going to spend her life with scares her. Why are you demanding that one month into this she tell you she wants to be with you forever? Give the girl some time. Ask her to be your girlfriend and be satisfied when she says she will be.”

  I eye her for a moment. “You know, ever since you started planning this wedding, you’ve become incredibly bossy.”

  “Are you going to do what I’ve told you?”

  I lean my head back on the couch and stare up at the ceiling. What she says makes sense, I know, but I still don’t like it. “If I can see it, why can’t she?”

  “Maybe she’s not there yet. Or maybe she is, but she’s not ready to face it. My point is if you like her so much, you should give her all the time she wants to come to her own conclusions about you instead of walking out on her because she’s nervous over the fact of how much she does like you.”

  “You think she really likes me?”

  Meredith looks confused. “When has she said she doesn’t? Of course, she does.”

  “Are you going to flash me now?”

  “Nope. I changed my mind.” She smiles sweetly.

  “Tease.”

  Meredith looks around my house and frowns. It’s plain. She’ll get over it.

  “If she breaks my heart,” I begin, but Meredith finishes for me.

  “I’ll break up with Noah and keep you company.”

  I grin. “That’s why I’m your favorite.” She wouldn’t of course, but that’s not the point.

  TURNS OUT, I’M the one who is out of her ever-loving mind.

  Meredith said she went to see Marc last night, but she couldn’t tell if she got through to him or not. Therefore, she spent an hour telling me I needed to make a big move because I apparently need to show him I’m crazy about him, so he’ll forget about how he’s pushing me forward faster than I can handle. I even tried telling Meredith that her idea is a terrible one simply because now she’s the one pushing me instead of him.

  Just when I thought I was in the clear, she showed up at my house with a pair of noise-canceling headphones.

  She wants me to attend a game. I don’t have to watch,
but she wants me in the box.

  “Since when is the woman supposed to make the grand gesture?” I say as I reluctantly grab my purse.

  “I’ve made a grand gesture,” she says.

  “What did you do?”

  She lifts her shirt to show me a tattoo on her ribcage, just below her bra, of Noah’s name. “He did it first, but I’m still counting it as an example for this, especially since doing this made him propose.”

  “Okay, well, let’s go then.”

  Meredith puts a hand on my shoulder. “Are you sure? I mean, I know I’m working the peer pressure angle here, but if you don’t think you can do it, then you can totally just be waiting at his house.”

  “I’m sure.” I’m willing to try for him.

  Hopefully it goes well because Marc doesn’t know it yet, but he’s supposed to take me home. Meredith talks about tennis the entire drive to the arena. Normally, I’d be able to listen and participate, but I want to throw up. I doubt she’ll want to continue being my friend if I puke in her car. I was surprised when I saw there was a text from Meredith Monday morning asking if we could have lunch.

  At some point, Marc gave Meredith my number. Once we sat down for lunch, she let me know that Noah told her I was ignoring Marc and Meredith decided to befriend me and find out what was going on, despite the fact that Noah told her not to get in the middle of things. She might be more like Sylvia than I thought. But she cares about Marc and I can’t fault her for that, especially when she’s helping me out.

  Meredith walks slowly with me up to the box. I decide to wait outside until the game actually starts. The plan is to listen to the broadcast on my phone and hope the headphones just take away the sounds of the skates on the ice. Sylvia is the one who comes to get me when the game starts. She’s grinning with excitement. I sure hope I don’t let anyone down. I’m glad I’ve forced myself to watch some games that were on while Marc was on the road. That has to help here.

  I hope.

  My legs are weak and my hands are shaking as I take in the view of the ice. I already have the broadcast playing and my headphones on. Sylvia squeezes my arm and points to the ice, so I quickly find Marc. I don’t know if that helps or not. At least it’s white still. But my breathing is still a little too heavy, so I focus on what the broadcasters are saying.

  Fuck, that’s not working!

  I squeeze my eyes closed and focus on just listening for a bit. The broadcasters are discussing Zane Landry who was recently acquired by the Rebels and seems to be doing well so far. He’s been paired with Ian Rhett. Remembering what Marc did, I place my hands over my face and slowly, I space my fingers out until more and more of the ice can be seen. I try to hear Marc’s voice instead of the broadcasters, too. Anything to keep my mind working and occupied, to not let me have a second to think.

  Every so often, Meredith or Sylvia glance over at me. No one else really pays attention to me, thankfully. Unfortunately, the Rebels are getting their asses handed to them by the Nebraska Bucks and Luca Zotov. It’s going to suck to end the year with a loss, but they can rebound two days into the new year. I remind myself that they haven’t lost yet.

  I wonder what Marc is going to be like if they do lose. Is he even going to want to see me? I wince as some poor sap gets rammed into the boards. Then, I realize it’s Marc. He doesn’t seem that affected, though. He can rebound so fast from a hit, yet sometimes, it takes me twenty minutes to give myself a pep talk to get out of bed on a lazy Saturday morning. I couldn’t get off the couch as fast as he started skating if the fire alarm started going off. It’d take me a solid three seconds to figure out what was happening.

  My heart gets all excited as I realize Marc has the puck. He comes up the left side of the net, quickly rears his stick back, and I clamp my hands over my mouth because I nearly scream with his goal. A small squeak gets out; I know it does because both Meredith and Sylvia and a few others glance over at me.

  Clearing my throat, I lower my hands casually and focus on the rest of the game. Sort of. I follow the players on the ice. I get excited when Scott scores, but we are not meant to win this game. Rebels lose four to two. I stow the headphones in my purse and wait for what seems like forever. I’m quiet until I can’t take it anymore.

  “Are you sure he’ll come up here?” I ask Meredith.

  “Yeah. I told him he needed to come see me.”

  “Are you sure he’s going to want to see me?”

  “Yes.”

  Sylvia takes one of my hands and squeezes it. “I’m proud of you,” she says quietly.

  “Lizzy?”

  I glance over my shoulder to see Scott and then I hear, “Elizabeth?”

  “Someone’s popular tonight,” Noah murmurs as he comes around as well and stands behind Meredith.

  Both Marc and Scott seem confused by my presence. Marc crouches and I turn in my seat to face him better.

  “Are you here of your own free will, Elizabeth?”

  I laugh. “Yes.”

  “You watched the game?” Scott asks with wide eyes.

  “Yes.”

  “Wow,” he breathes.

  “Lizzy isn’t here for you to pepper her with questions. Besides, I can fill you in because what I don’t know, I’ll drag out of Meredith. Let’s go. It’s not often we have a night without the girls, and we’re going to enjoy it.” That’s all Sylvia has to say for Scott to take her hand, wave goodbye to us, and lead her out of the room.

  “Can you give me a ride? I came with Meredith.”

  “Yeah, of course.” He stands upright and we all start heading out of the arena. For a moment, I worry because he’s only holding my hand. Maybe Marc is putting on a friendly show for his friends, but then he gives it a squeeze. He wouldn’t do that for show since no one would know he did it but me. “You know, you shouldn’t be so trusting of Meredith, Elizabeth,” Marc says.

  I glance over at her and then back to him. “How come?”

  “She offered twice to flash me recently.”

  My eyes nearly bug out of my head. Noah scowls while Meredith and Marc laugh at me. Marc hooks his arm around my neck and I finally relax somewhat.

  “Don’t listen to anything he says,” Meredith tells me. “This is Marco we’re talking about.”

  That is true. Plus, Noah is around, and he likes to irk him, so that has to be part of it, too. The three of them have one of those relationships where things like that are said. I almost forgot that. Marc did kiss Meredith on the cheek when we all had dinner together.

  “Lizzy,” Noah starts, “I’d like to apologize for both of them. They’re a pain in the ass, but we’re stuck with them.”

  “That’s the second time this week you’ve called me a pain in the ass, Noah. I think Leo is going to be the only one sharing the bed with me tonight,” Meredith says, pulling away from him, but he drags her right back to his side.

  “The thing about me being stuck with you, Mere, is that you’re stuck with me, too.”

  It’s fascinating to watch them because the moment she smiles, he’s smiling.

  “Y’all are adorable,” I blurt out.

  Marc places his hand over my mouth. “Don’t listen to her. You’re both disgusting and make us want to puke. I’m going to need a trash can on standby at the wedding.” I lick the palm of his hand, thinking he’d drop it, but he only laughs. His mouth is near my ear as he whispers, “I’m not afraid of a little tongue, Elizabeth.” Then he drops his hand. “Well, that was a lovely talk. I better get this girl home.” We’re in the parking lot now, so it’s time to part ways.

  Meredith gives me an encouraging smile, but my nerves are back in full force now. We don’t talk on the short walk to his truck, as he opens the door for me, and as he leaves the arena.

  “You were able to watch the game,” he finally says.

  “Yeah. Meredith bought me noise-canceling headphones, so I listened to the broadcast on my phone. Congrats on the goal, by the way.”

  “Thanks. Think yo
u’ll do it again?”

  “Maybe. It was hard at times, but I didn’t have a panic attack at all.”

  “That’s good.”

  Meredith was so sure this was a good idea, but maybe it wasn’t. Maybe something happened and he’s changed his mind. Marc closed off the moment I told him I didn’t know if I wanted to be with him in the future. It’s just hard to wrap my head around that right now.

  Marc pulls into my driveway, letting his truck idle.

  “Want to come in? I have a present for you.”

  “Sure.”

  He turns it off, comes around to open my door for me, and follows me to my front door. The heat inside the house nearly knocks me over. It’s almost too hot compared to outside. I walk straight to the kitchen, open the pantry, and pull out the bag I bought earlier today before facing Marc. I open it, pull out a pork rind, turn, and hold it out to Marc.

  “Try it.”

  He takes it from me, not hesitating to take a bite. “Pretty good.”

  “It’s a pork rind.” I pull the bag from behind my back and hand it to him. “Want a pack of nabs?” I reach and grab myself a pack. I didn’t eat dinner, and my stomach is starting to grumble. I don’t want much, though.

  “A pack of what?”

  I hold up the nabs.

  “Those are peanut butter crackers.”

  “I call them nabs.”

  “Why?”

  I shrug. “That’s what I’ve always called them; that’s what I’ve always heard other people call them.” I fix two glasses of sweet tea and we sit at the table. Marc is munching on those pork rinds, so I think it’s safe to say he really does like them. But then, he puts them away, downs the sweet tea, and stares at me. I push away what’s left of the crackers. Am I supposed to be the one to talk first? What am I supposed to say? Do I even know any words?

  “Elizabeth?”

  I lift my head, not even realizing I lowered my gaze to my glass of tea.

  “Nothing’s changed. I’m sorry for leaving like I did and for worrying you, but we’re okay. Just don’t ignore me anymore. That’s all I’m asking. If you need space, say so.”