by Mandi Beck
“Who’s the pregnant chick? She’s a rocket!” one of the Boston players says, making eyes at Stella. “I hear pregnant pussy is the best. Maybe I’ll show her how a real man scores. Eh, Dagger?”
Before he even finishes his sentence, my vision has gone red. I throw my stick down and drop my gloves, shaking my hands free and swing before the fucker even sees it coming. I swing and connect two more times before he grabs hold of my sweater and tries pulling it over my head.
“Wanna talk shit about my woman, Fleddy, you fuck?” I demand, as I swing again. Whistles blow and players are yelling around us, getting into their own scuffles now. When I get him on the ice, the refs pull me off him, my teammates encircling me to keep Fleddy from coming at me, now that the refs have blown the whistle on the fight.
One of the linesmen takes my arm and leads me to the penalty box where Stella is standing, pressed against the glass, her face a mask of worry. Stepping into the box and ignoring the seat the linesman points to, I open the little door that separates me from Stella.
“How are you here?” I yell, ignoring everyone around me blowing whistles and shouting at me.
“Levi called in some favors,” she says, her eyes roaming my face. “Are you okay? You’re bleeding.”
“I’m fine.”
“Dagger, what the fuck are you doing?” Taner, my captain, yells, and bangs on the glass. My ass is going to get in so much trouble, but once I saw Stella, I didn’t really care.
“Better tell me what you’re doing here before you get me kicked out of the game,” I shout near her ear.
“I got the job, here in Chicago!” Stella yells excitedly. “So, I was wondering if you wanted a couple roommates?” She bites her lip and looks at me, eyes big and hopeful, face flushed from all the excitement.
“Yeah?” I ask in shock. Never in a million years did I think she would give in. I know she said she’s here because she got the job, but I’m what really brought her here. She doesn’t have to say it for me to know.
“Yeah!”
“What if I want more than a roommate?” My eyes search her face, looking for the answer I need.
I get it when she launches herself into my arms, tears streaming down her face as she kisses me, her tears mingling with my sweat. The crowd explodes in catcalls and cheers, drowning out everything else. I pull back to look into her eyes, and kiss her one last time before putting her back on her feet. My teammates are all beating their sticks against the boards in applause, reminding me of where the hell I am.
The ref comes over a look of absolute bemusement on his face. “Can we play the game now, Dagger?”
With a wink at Stella, I plop down on the bench in the penalty box. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“You sure?” he asks, bewildered.
Turning my head, eyes locked with Stella’s, I nod, my lips sliding into a wicked grin when she blows me a kiss. “I’m sure.”
The End
Epilogue
Jason
I’m just coming home from seven days on the road for a five-game stretch, and my tired is tired. Stella is two days past her due date, and I’m going nuts waiting for this baby. Add to that, we just moved into our new home in Lincoln Park. We wanted a neighborhood and house for the baby rather than the penthouse fuck pad my place was. I didn’t even think about it until I moved Stell in and she pointed it out.
So now, we’ve moved, there are boxes all over, and my family is here to help, although I’m not sure how much help they’re being. They did manage to help get the nursery finished while I’ve been on the road for the last week, and also to convince Stella to get an interior decorator for the rest of the place. I’ve never met a woman alive more unwilling to spend my money in all my life. Stubborn ass.
“Ma, where’s Stella?” My mother is answering Stella’s phone, and I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. Is she in labor? Somebody would’ve called me, right?
“Calm down, son, she’s fine. She is just upstairs, putting away some baby stuff we got today.”
“How much shit does one baby need, Ma? I mean, she is only having one, right?”
“Smartass,” she mutters good-naturedly. “Here she is, see you soon?”
“Yeah, Ma. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
“Jason? Hi! Are you on your way home?” Stella asks eagerly.
“Hey, baby. I am. I just wanted see if you needed anything. Food, smoothie, me to fuck you into labor?” I throw the last bit out there just for a reaction. I get one.
“You’re so ridiculous. Although, all of the above sounds amazing,” Stella groans out.
“I’m here for it, Stell. All of it.”
“Well, since I’m a whale and can’t even see my—”
“Ah, ah, ah, don’t even think about saying that shit. You’re not a whale. Plus, you don’t have to see it, I can.”
She’s been a little hard on herself lately, more than ready for the baby to be here and to not be pregnant anymore. My mom says it’s natural but it drives me crazy. Stella was hot before she was pregnant, but now? Now, she’s a fucking goddess.
“Well, then you can see it and kiss it better when you get home.” Her voice is muffled, like she’s covering her mouth.
“Are you talking dirty to me with my ma in the room, Stella?” I tease. “You’re such a dirty girl.”
“Oh my god, I am! It’s totally your fault. You make me do it!” I can envision her cute pout as she pretends to be upset at the affect I have on her.
“No way. Don’t go blaming me.” I chuckle and merge into traffic.
“I have to go. Your sisters are calling me from the nursery.”
“Go, before they come looking for you. I’ll see you soon.”
“Love you,” Stella says, just before she hangs up, not giving me the chance to respond. She does that shit all the time, like she’s afraid I won’t say it back. I will. Every fucking time.
Thirty minutes later, I’m pulling up to our house on Burling and into the garage. I grab the flowers—six bouquets because I couldn’t come home with flowers for Stella and not my ma and sisters. The minute I step through the door, I can smell my ma’s chicken pot pie. It’s Stella’s favorite, and my mother has made it more the last few weeks she’s been here than she probably did all year. Once in the kitchen, I just stand, hidden, and watch my family.
Stella, my parents, and sisters, all flit around the huge kitchen, like a bunch of crazed worker bees, getting plates and cutlery, drinks, and whatnot. Everyone is talking at once, laughing and joking, and it all just feels so right. I’m so glad I was able to give this to Stella. The woman who I have to trick into spending my money. I was able to give her the one thing she values above all else. Family.
“Are you guys always this damn loud?” I boom to be heard over them.
Jordan screeches in fear, and Stella whirls around, a hand on her rounded—that’s not even close to describing it—belly.
“Jason!” She rushes forward, excitement all over her gorgeous face, straight into my arms. I’m just able to put the flowers down before twirling her in a circle, not caring that my whole family is there, watching. It’s been too long since I’ve had my woman in my arms. I missed the smell of her skin and the feel of her.
“Oh my god, could you two be any cuter?” Joey gushes.
Rolling my eyes, I place Stella back on her feet, planting a kiss that isn’t nearly long enough to her lips before greeting the rest of the Dagger clan. One by one, I say my hellos, and give hugs and flowers that they all gush over.
“How thoughtful of you, Jason,” my mom says, patting my cheek on her way to find containers for all of them.
“Way to one-up your old man, you little shit,” Dad tosses over his shoulder with an exaggerated grumble as he carries plates to the table.
“Not my fault your game is weak,” I say, following behind with Stella’s hand tucked into mine. With the table set, we all settle down, me helping Stell ease into her chair.
“I can sit down by myself, Jason.” She laughs, shooing my hands away.
She looks so front heavy, like she might fall forward at any moment from the uneven weight distribution, she makes me nervous. I allow her to sit on her own, but hover just to be sure. When she’s seated, I sit down beside her, smiling when she instantly puts a hand to my thigh and squeezes.
“So how was your flight?” Johnanne asks, as she begins passing food around the table.
“Good. Loud.” The boys were all rowdy, anxious to be home after such a long stretch, one I wasn’t even sure I was going to be on. Having my family here gave me peace of mind though, knowing Stella would be taken care of, and that I was only a flight away at any given time. “It’s good to be home. The place looks great, you guys. Thank you.”
When I left, there had been boxes stacked everywhere. Not now, though. Now, the place looks like we’ve lived here forever. It feels as homey as it looks. What the fuck is the matter with me? Am I nesting? Is this what nesting is? Feeling all feely and shit about your space? Fuck this.
“We were happy to help,” my ma says as she passes me my chicken pot pie.
“Wait until you see the nursery. Oh wait. You can’t yet,” Jordan teases. They all know what we’re having. Everyone but me because we wanted to be surprised, but Stella’s doctor let it slip to her, so now I’m the only one who doesn’t know. All I know is that Baby Dagger is healthy, will have a J name, and is late as fuck.
Like the mature adult, I am I flip my sister the bird and dig into the steaming plate of heaven, groaning low in my throat at the first bite. Stella must feel the same way because she makes an almost identical sound.
“I know right, baby? So good, Ma. I’m glad this is what Stella has been craving. It coul—”
I’m interrupted by another noise from Stella. My fork mid-air, I turn my head and see the pinched look on her face. That does not look like a face that is in the middle of a food orgasm. That looks like some other kind of face.
“Stell, baby, you okay?” She shakes her head no and we all shoot to our feet. Silverware and chairs go flying as everyone rushes around the room—for what, I have no fucking clue. “Stella, is it time?”
Is that my voice? It sounds way too calm for the circus going on inside of me. When she nods her head yes, I do my best not to let my panic show. Out of nowhere, my ma comes to our side.
“Dads got the car ready and Johnanne has your bag.”
How did they manage that so quickly? Have they been doing fucking drills while I was away? “Can you walk?” I ask, ready to scoop her up.
She straightens and nods. “Wow. That was a big one, this baby is not playing.”
“Different from the Braxton Hicks from the other night?” my mom asks her, and again, she nods.
“Totally.”
“Braxton whats from when?” It’s like they’re speaking a different language now. And why are they standing here talking, and not walking out the damn door?
“I was having contractions the other night. Turns out, they’re just fakey contractions. Kind of your body’s way of getting you ready for the real deal, my doctor said.”
“Wait. You had contractions and went to the doctor, and you didn’t tell me? What the hell, Stella?” There’s a little more bite in my tone than she and, apparently, my mom cared for because they both narrowed their eyes at me. Shit.
“You asked us to come here and take care of her, and that’s what we did. If it turned out to be anything, we would have called you immediately,” she says reassuringly.
“Plus, you were playing,” Stella chips in. “We were actually watching the game when it happened.”
I’m just about to argue my point some more with them when Stella’s eyes go wide and her bottom lip starts to quiver, her eyes filling with tears.
“What? Are you okay? Are you in pain?” Now I can’t keep the panic from my voice. I was doing pretty well, but seeing her tears now, all bets are off.
“I think my water just broke,” Stella says quietly.
The three of us look down and sure enough, Stella is standing in a little puddle. My mom takes her arm and ushers her into the bathroom, calling for Joey to bring down clean clothes. I look around in bewilderment as I’m left standing in the middle of my dining room, all by myself. Are we not having a baby right now? Am I being punk’d? Jessie walks by and pats me on the shoulder, Joey following right behind her with an armful of clothes.
“Don’t look so confused. You act like Mom and Dad haven’t done this five times,” Jessie says, and walks out the front door with Stella’s bag in her hand. Calmly. She walks calmly out the door.
After what seems like hours, but is actually only about five minutes later, Stella and my mom come walking down the hall. Stella looks fresh and not like she’s in labor, unless you look closely at her face and pinched features. I hate it. I hate that she’s in any kind of pain, but especially pain I can’t do anything about.
My ma pats Stella’s arm. “I think we’re ready now.”
Stella nods and then hunches over, a gasp of pain making its way past her lips. I rush forward and scoop her into my arms, cradling her to my chest and straight out the front door, whispering to her all the way.
“I got you, baby. Just hang on.” With a kiss to her temple, I try to walk as quickly and gingerly as I can. My sister sees us coming and hops out, holding the door open for me to transfer Stella. As gently as possible, I put her into the back of the SUV, sliding in after her, pulling her to my side.
“Whew. That was a big one!” she exclaims on a small laugh. Is she kidding me right now? I’m about to jump out of my skin and light the world on fire because she’s in pain, and all she has to say is whew?
“Must mean you’re close. Better hurry, honey,” my mother says to my dad, buckling her seatbelt.
Close? What does close mean? “How close? How do you know?” Okay, that was a stupid question. “You know the hospital is like ten, fifteen minutes away, right?” Now I’m really nervous.
“We know, we’ve been practicing. Daddy knows exactly where he’s going. There’s plenty of time.”
Thankfully, traffic isn’t bad and we’re only a few minutes from Rush. I’m not sure my sisters will be able to keep up with us though. “Hey, Mario Andretti? Do your daughters know how to get to the hospital? I think you lost them four lane changes ago.”
That gets another little giggle out of Stella and its music to my ears. If she’s laughing, she’s not crying because she’s in pain, right?
“They know the drill, don’t you worry,” he reassures.
And they do. They’re right behind us, whipping into a parking spot as my dad drops me, Ma, and Stella off at the front door of the hospital. I’m ready to go charging in there, demanding they to tend to my woman, but my ma is having none of it. She leads our little caravan calmly into the building and before I can even do any name dropping or anything, she has Stella in a wheelchair being whisked away. Well damn. I guess they did practice this shit. They’re making it all look so easy.
“You coming?” Stella calls out to me as I stand, kind of stunned this is going so smoothly.
I spoke too soon. Three hours later, and Stella is doing her damn best to break my fucking hand. She has called me every name on the planet and some, I’m sure she made up.
“That’s it, baby, breathe. Just breathe,” I encourage, as she’s told by the midwife to push one last time. Then, mingled with the groans of pain, a little cry rents the air and just like that, my life is changed forever. A son. Stella gave me a son.
“Okay, Daddy, do you want to cut the cord?” the head nurse asks.
I shake my head no. My hands are so shaky, I might cut off his little baby wee-nis. She smiles, like she knows exactly what I’m thinking, and takes care of business, cutting and rubbing and cleaning off the wrinkly little dude.
With my head resting against Stella’s tangled hair, tears filling my eyes at the absolute wonder, I watch as t
hey place the baby on Stella’s chest. My heart literally feels on the verge of exploding. How did my dad survive doing this five times?
“I love you so much, Stella. So fucking much.”
She sighs, her hand drifting over the downy black hair on the baby’s head, nodding in agreement.
“I love you too, Jason.” Exhausted and in awe, her voice is soft.
“Marry me,” I blurt out, my own voice tight with emotion. I planned this better. Had a ring and this romantic night, with candles and music and sex, in my mind. But in this moment, the need to ask, and for her to say yes, is so overwhelming. My feelings have feelings over here, and I want them all to shine through. For her to see how much I want this. To be a dad and a husband, a friend and lover. Family.
Startled, her head snaps up, everyone in the room forgotten as they bustle around. “Wh-what?” She’s cute, with that stammer and a look on her upturned face, like she’s afraid to believe what she heard.
“Marry me. I want us to be a family. I want our son to know that he may not have been created in love, but that there’s no one on this Earth who will ever love you or him more. Be my wife.”
Tears fill her eyes, spilling down over her cheeks. Her smile is a little wobbly and a whole lot watery, and she whispers, “Yes. Yes, a million times, yes.”
“Yeah?” The smile on my face is almost painful.
“Yeah.” Stella’s eyes land on the baby again. “But first, we should probably introduce this little guy to his family.”
They must have let my parents know in the waiting room because no sooner did that leave her mouth than my parents popped their heads in the room. Wonder how much of that they heard? By the tears in my ma’s eyes and the pride on my dad’s face, I’m guessing all of it.
“Can we come in? We promise not to stay long,” Ma says softly, edging closer to the bed, Dad right behind her.
“Yes, come in and meet your grandson,” Stella tells them, love dripping from every word.