by Mandi Beck
Stepping behind her, I pull her against my chest to assure her I’m here, that I’m in her corner. She has nothing to prove and no one to convince. Mine is the only opinion that matters, and right here right now, I think Stella is a motherfucking queen. At twenty, she’s more poised and confident than any woman I’ve ever dated put together.
I can feel her inhale deeply before going on. “So again, I don’t want money from your brother, I just want a family for my baby.”
“It’s true, she doesn’t. The dumb ass tried to be all cool guy and pay her to take off from work the other day, and she about beat his ass,” Joey says from the doorway, drawing our attention. “She’s savage.”
We all break out into laughter, the heaviness in the room dissolving. Leave it to Joey. I need to buy her better Christmas present for her coming to the rescue.
“Well, now that that’s out of the way, come in and meet the rest of the family, Stella. I promise none of them will give you the third degree. They probably all voted for Johnanne to be the bad guy, and are just waiting for her stamp of approval,” my mom says, her smile back in place. She’s probably right too.
As promised, the rest of the family was on their best behavior. Stella even managed to win over Johnanne, who is sitting next to her on the couch, laughing at something Stella is saying, gesturing wildly. In her cute jammies, her face animated, and my sisters around her, hanging on her every word, you would never know she hasn’t always been a part of our family.
All night, I’ve watched her. I found reasons to put my hands on her, innocently touching her. I inhaled her scent, smiled when she laughed, and laughed when she snorted at something my brother-in-law said. The whole time, I was dreaming about all the ways I was going to make her mine tonight. The places I would strip her bare and make her shake from pleasure, scream my name until her voice went hoarse.
When everyone was talking about my sister’s new boyfriend over pecan pie and coffee, I was envisioning bending Stella over my ottoman and fucking her while she wore her Christmas pajamas, her hair a wicked tangle of curls for me to hold onto. I’m pretty sure I’m going to hell for having such impure thoughts while sitting at my mother’s dinner table. At least I’ll have fun getting there.
Stella is partly to blame, constantly looking at me with those “fuck me” eyes of hers, just begging me with heated looks over the rim of her glass. As she licked whipped cream from her spoon. All night. Torturing me without a care, until I can’t take it anymore.
I pluck Stella from her new fans, laughing when they complain about me taking her away. “I love you guys too,” I tease.
After making the rounds and wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, we head out the door as fast as I can without being rude.
“You in a hurry?” Stella asks.
“I’m in a hurry to get you naked,” I admit. When she doesn’t shoot me down, I pick up the pace.
We make it back to my place in record time. Stella turns on the Christmas tree lights and puts the presents under there from my parents’ place while I start the fire and put on some Christmas music.
“I love Christmas music,” she says, humming along with Nat King Cole.
“I love Christmas onesies with backflaps that drive me wild all night.” I flash a wolfish grin, the kind that leaves no doubt what I’m thinking.
“There is nothing sexy about Christmas onesies. Especially when you’re pregnant.” Stella laughs as she continues situating stuff under the tree.
“Oh, I beg to differ. I think they’re all kinds of sexy…on you. Especially when you’re pregnant.”
Straightening, she turns to face me, the light from the fire dancing over her skin, casting her in flickering shadows.
“Get over here, Stella,” I order, my voice gritty with lust for her.
She comes to stand in front of me, red flames from the fire reflecting in the inky wells of her eyes. Gently taking her shoulders in my hands, I turn her to face the tree, dropping to my knees behind her. My gaze settles on the flap that has been drawing my attention all night.
I make work of the first button and then the next, letting the material fall open to reveal my own personal gift. Two perfectly rounded ass cheeks, with the thinnest bit of candy cane-striped cotton nestled in between them. When I place a kiss to each cheek before landing an open-handed slap on them, Stella’s hands fist at her sides as a moan slips from her lips.
Reaching behind me, I drag the ottoman over and place it in front of her. “On your hands and knees, Stell.” She looks at me over her shoulder before doing what I asked. “Good girl,” I praise, as I hook a finger into the top of her panties and drag it over the globes, pink with my handprint, just far enough that I can get at her. I take hold of her ass and spread her open, the pink of her pussy glistening with her need.
“So fucking pretty,” I murmur, before putting my mouth on her, making her rock forward. My tongue working through her slit, hands tugging on her hips to bring her closer, I suck and nip and kiss her better. I pull away from her just long enough to tug my sweater over my head before burying my face back in her pussy from behind, kneading her ass and loving the weight of it in my hands. When her legs start to tremble and she pushes back against my face, I nuzzle my nose through her wetness to clamp down on her clit, making her scream my name over the crooning sounds of Christmas music. With my mouth, I pull every last bit of the orgasm from her, until she stops her rocking and only the soft mewls of contentment fill the room around us.
“You okay, baby?” I ask as I yank at the button on my jeans, getting them off and kicking them to the side.
“Mmmm, better than okay. You’re a freak,” Stella says with a soft laugh, resting her head on her folded arms.
“You like it.”
“I really do.” I can hear the smile in her voice.
With her ass in the air, just poking through the open flap of her pajamas with the happy penguins dancing around, I place a knee on the ottoman beside her. Reaching into the opening, I run my hand through the silky arousal. She moans with pleasure, a sound that mingles with my own as I slick her wetness over the head of my cock and down my shaft, coating myself with her before I bury myself so far into her pussy, she’ll feel me there every time she moves tomorrow.
“You ready, Stella?” Pulling back, I wait, watching my cock at her opening as I slide it back and forth through her lips, up in between her cheeks and back again. When she hisses out a yes, I rock my hips into her, the warmth of her pussy swallowing me, making me groan.
“You’re so fucking tight,” I praise, pumping in and out, her rounded hips filling my hands. With every thrust, her breath comes in a whoosh, my name following the breathy escape.
“Jason. God, Jason. I needed this. I needed you to fuck me. Didn’t want anyone to touch me but you.”
I hear her murmured words, and something snaps inside me. Something virile and savage. With a barely-tamed control, I tangle my hand in her hair, pulling her head back until I can see into her eyes. Using my hold on her as leverage, I growl in her ear as I pound into her, “Mine. You’re mine, Stella. This pussy is fucking mine. Nobody else’s. Mine.”
My orgasm hits me hard and we ride the wave together as she spasms around my cock. I feather kisses down the side of her neck, licking at the corner of her mouth. When she turns her head to meet my kisses, I tell her again, so she can hear me and feel me. “Mine.”
Eleven
Stella
My eyes flutter open, the lights from the Christmas tree and the flicker of the fire casting the room in a warm glow. Jason’s arm is wrapped around my waist, and his hand, light against my much darker skin, makes a beautiful contrast as it’s splayed against my belly. Under his hand, the baby rolls and shimmies to his own little beat, or maybe to the cadence of my heartbeat. Lord knows it’s strong enough, lying here in the warmth and safety of Jason’s arms.
Doing my best to hold back a sigh, I think of all the ways he made love to me last night. All the things we d
id together, the whispered words and promises. What did it all mean? What did I want it to mean? Did he mean it?
“Come to Chicago with me, Stella.”
He sounded sincere. I pretended to be asleep, so that I didn’t have to answer. So he wouldn’t know just how much I wanted that. Jason stirs behind me, bringing me out of my thoughts.
“You awake, baby?” He presses a kiss into my hair.
“Yeah, the baby woke me.”
I feel him tense behind me and he lifts his head. “Everything okay?”
Moving his hand just the slightest bit, I press his palm into my belly, right where the baby is pushing against me.
“You feel that?”
“Is that the baby?” The excitement and wonder in his voice is palpable, and it makes my heart soar. That he finds as much joy in this baby as I do is more than I could have ever hoped for.
“Yep. Dancing up a storm in there today.” I giggle softly.
“Wow. Does it hurt?” he asks, concerned.
“No. Well, not always. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable, but I don’t mind.” And I don’t. It’s a reminder there’s a life inside of me. That my body is housing a tiny little human, that is part me and part Jason. This baby may not have been created out of love, but he or she is already so loved beyond measure. Shifting so he can feel the baby at a different angle, I groan.
“What’s the matter? You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just sore.”
“From the baby kicking?”
“No. From you, you sex fiend.”
He erupts in laughter. “Because I slipped the kitten past the mitten?” he teases.
“What does that even mean?”
“Or because I lit the lamp? A little slappy where mama keeps the peanut butter? Put the biscuit in the basket.” I turn to glare at him, but I can’t. His face is lit up like the damn Christmas tree, he’s so pleased with himself.
“It’s like you’re speaking a different language, you know that, right?”
“That’s hockey lingo, Stella. That all means I scored big.” He chuckles. “You better learn all this because it’s a second language, and the kid is gonna speak it.”
“What if we have a girl?”
“So. Girls play hockey.”
“They also play softball.”
“Only if they’re smokin’ hot.” He tweaks my nose before a somber look steals over his face. “I know you heard me last night, Stell.”
Shit. My eyes fall from his, not sure what to say. I don’t want to say no, but I don’t know how to say yes either.
“Come to Chicago. You don’t even have to move in with me if you don’t want to. I can find you an apartment in my building, or close by,” he implores.
“And what happens when the team finds out?”
“Stell. I was being stupid before. You’re right, you’re an adult. They’ll probably give me a fucking high five and ask me how I landed a twenty-year-old rocket,” Jason teases, trying to reassure me my age isn’t an issue with him anymore.
“Jason, I can’t just up and leave everything I have here to follow you around like a lost puppy,” I huff, ducking out from under his arm and slipping his sweater over my head. It’s the first thing I find on the floor.
“What would you be leaving behind, Stell? You’re almost finished with school. You said yourself that your plan was to do your classes online next semester. You can do that from anywhere. Do it from Chicago,” he says earnestly.
I walk over to the tree to give myself a bit of space. “You won’t even be there, Jason,” I argue lamely. I just can’t give in on this. If I do, I become exactly what Johnanne accused me of being.
“I’ll be there enough. More than I’ll be here, that’s for fucking sure.” He stands. “I’m not asking you to marry me, I’m not forcing you to move in with me, I’m just asking for the chance to take care of you and my kid. I can’t stand the thought of you being here and me being there, not knowing what’s going on with you. I can’t, Stell.”
“If it weren’t for the baby, we wouldn’t even be standing here having this discussion right now, Jason.” That truth hurts more than it should.
“Maybe, maybe not. But we’ll never know. I’m not sorry you’re pregnant. I’m just sorry I treated you the way I did when you came to tell me,” he says sincerely.
“Me too,” I reply softly. “When do you have to leave?”
“Tonight.” Coming up behind me, he wraps his arms around me, settling his big hands on my belly. “Come with me.”
My heart is at war with my head. I cannot be that girl. It would be so damn easy. “I can’t.”
“Can’t, or won’t?” he asks, dropping his arms from around me, bitterness lacing his voice.
“Both,” I admit shakily.
Two weeks. That’s how long Jason has been gone, and it feels like an eternity. Funny how, in such a short time, I got used to having him around. We talk on the phone almost every day, and exchange texts and emails. I sent him an ultrasound picture just this morning, and I’ve even seen his ma and sister Joey a few times. They insist on checking on me constantly, but I’m sure Jason put them up to it.
Pulling open the door of the student union, I head back to the financial aid office. It’s the last day for the loan deposits, and mine still hasn’t gone into my account. I have until tonight to pay for my classes or they won’t save me a spot.
Just as I’m walking in, my counselor pops her head of her office. “Hey girly! I was just about to email you, I have some great news for you. I’m about to go into a meeting though, can I call you later?”
“Sure. I have the night off, I’ll be around.” She waves and disappears down the hall. Karin has been my counselor since my freshman year here at FU, and my biggest supporter. She’s been the one helping me with my resume and putting feelers out for a job after I graduate.
When I reach the financial aid office, I knock softly to get Harriet’s attention. She’s one of the three ladies I work with in the department, and my favorite. “Stella, come on in, sweetie.”
“Hi, Harriet. I was just looking at my account so that I can pay for my classes, and noticed that the deposit didn’t go in.”
“Well, let’s just take a look. I’ve been on vacation, and I swear everything is falling apart.” She clicks her tongue like a mother hen. “Clearly, they need me to keep this place running smoothly.” She smiles at me over the rim of her glasses before turning her attention back to her monitor. “Huh. Well, that’s strange.”
“What? What’s strange?” I ask, panic rising. If I don’t get this loan money, I’ll have to dip into my saving for classes and books. I need the savings for the apartment though.
Harriet swings her monitor my way, so I can see what she’s looking at. “Says here that your classes are paid for and your loans have all been paid off.”
She sounds as stunned as I am. I don’t have to ask who did this, I know who, I just wasn’t expecting it. With tears spilling down my cheeks, I stand, mumbling something about having to go, and walk out of her office before I embarrass myself even more. Reaching for my phone, I fumble with it, trying three times to call Jason. He picks up on the third ring.
“Your ears must’ve been ringing. I was just talking about you, Stella. How you feeling?”
“Did you pay off my student loans?” I manage to get out past the lump in my throat.
“Shit. Stell, don’t be mad. Please. If it makes you feel any better, I paid off Joey’s too,” he says, trying to keep me from getting mad at him. Mad for lifting a burden from my shoulders that keeps me up nights, more often than I like to admit.
“I-I’m not mad. Thank you. So much. I know that’s not enough, but I don’t know what else to say.” My voice cracks as I start crying even harder.
“You don’t have to say anything, baby. Please don’t cry,” Jason pleads, his voice soothing, even as far away as he is.
I don’t know how I allowed it, but I’ve gone ahead and fallen in love wit
h Jason Dagger. Hell, who am I kidding, I didn’t allow anything. I never even stood a chance against this man and his big ass heart, and his capacity to care for those around him.
“Stella, you there?”
“Yes.” I sniffle.
“Good. Listen, practice is starting. I gotta get on the ice, but I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Big game tomorrow, I’m playing your boys,” he reminds me.
“You’re my boy,” I tell him.
“Yeah, I am. Bye, Stell.”
“Bye, Jase.”
Twelve
Jason
With my hand over my heart as the National Anthem plays around me, the crowd drowning out the words with their applause and cheering, I try to think about the game, but instead, I’m worried about Stella. She never answered the phone last night or my texts this morning. It’s not like her. I called my ma to check on her, but didn’t hear back from her before the game. So now here I stand, shifting in my skates on the ice, getting ready to play the number two team in the league, thinking about my pregnant not-quite-girlfriend instead of the game I’m about to play.
The anthem ends in a flourish, and we skate off the blue line and head for the bench. As I pass the Sin Bin, I come to a stop, ice spraying out around me. There, in one of the designated seats they use for contest winners, is Stella beaming at me through the plexiglass. She’s wearing a red shirt with a number seven emblazoned on it, along with the words ‘Future Hockey Player’ and an arrow pointing at her belly.
“What are you doing here?” I yell to be heard over the crowd. She just shrugs and points at me. The whistle blows and my name is called by the guys on the team. With one last glance at Stella, I skate off. As much as I hate leaving her, I have a game to play. Not that I’m going to be able to keep my head in the game.
As I get into position and wait for the puck drop, I glance once more at Stella over my shoulder. She waves excitedly and sits in her seat to watch.