by Mia Madison
As his kiss deepens, raw instinct takes over. He takes possession of my mouth, and I give back as good as I get. With the soft breeze from the beach in my hair and the scruff of his beard against my face, I kiss him, and I feel alive.
And then I panic.
CHAPTER 8
Ewan
She pulls away, and a small sob escapes her throat. “I’ve got to get home. Can we go back?”
What? I thought she was really into that, into me, but something switched in her mind, as if she suddenly remembered not to let herself go. “Hey. I thought you wanted that as much as me. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t upset me. It’s not your fault. I should never have agreed to come out, that’s all. I’m sorry.”
And I believe she is sorry, because she doesn’t look happy about what she’s saying. Not happy at all.
“You’re not as sorry as I am. Just stay a moment. It’s a lovely evening. I promise I won’t kiss you again.”
“I’d rather go home.”
I’m not sure there’s any way back from this.
“You mean you won’t be able to resist me if you stay,” I tease, hoping to make light of it.
She looks up at me, and she smiles. Maybe she’s relieved I’m not angry. “No, you’re impossible for any girl to resist.”
“It’s my scintillating personality. Am I right?”
“No, it’s the way you throw pieces of sausage to my dog.”
“Hell. I’ll have to keep working on my personality.”
But she’s sitting on her hands now, biting her lip, watching Toby.
“You’re not going to change your mind, are you?”
“No.”
After that kiss, I want her more than ever. Fuck, I’m hard for her. But what can I do? Nothing. “Okay, then I’ll take you home.”
She puts Toby back on the lead. He looks as sorry as me to leave the beach. Maybe he doesn’t get out as much as he’d like, but at least he gets to see Lara every day.
When we get back to her place, she starts to get out of the car, but I touch her arm, and when she turns I run my finger down her cheek, because I don’t want to forget how soft her skin is.
“Good night.” I touch my lips briefly to hers. I can’t help it. Then I have to let her go. I’m not expecting anything else, but again she surprises me.
CHAPTER 9
Lara
When Ewan’s lips touch mine, I feel the heat of his body up close again and get another gentle waft of the aftershave and soap he uses. I can’t stop a shiver of need running down my spine in the darkness of the car. I should have let Toby out of the car and fled into the house after that gentle goodnight kiss. But I didn’t.
Before I know it, I’m grabbing him like a thing possessed and kissing him like it’s the last kiss I’ll ever have.
Maybe it is.
Neither of us pulls away. A little moan escapes my throat as the kiss intensifies, his tongue sweeping into my mouth, exploring me, fast, forceful and full of heat. I give myself up to that kiss wherever it’s going.
I don’t think I’d have come to my senses if Toby hadn’t given a loud woof several times. Maybe there was a rabbit near the car. Or he was jealous. I don’t know. But Ewan and I part, breathing heavily.
“I wasn’t expecting that,” he says.
I sit there, blushing, not knowing what to say. Why on earth did I do that? It has to be him. He makes me forget myself.
“My kisses don’t usually set dogs barking,” Ewan quips.
That breaks the tension, and I giggle. Even so, the whole situation is crazy and totally my fault. I have to put a stop to this right now, but he speaks first.
“Seriously, you’re not meant to be alone, Lara. Humans aren’t. Come out with me again. I don’t want to rush you, but I can’t stay away from you. Not after that.”
“There’s no point. I’m sorry.”
“So that was a ‘goodbye and I’ll never see you again’ kiss? It sure didn’t feel like it to me.”
“I was just confused for a moment.” I can’t think of any other explanation to give him.
“And now you’re not confused?”
“No.”
“Are you certain about that? I think we should test that out.”
He leans toward me. I can see just where he’s going with this, and I move back against the seat. The sensible part of me wants to say ‘no, don’t’ but no words come out of my mouth, because the rest of me wants Ewan.
My heart hammers as his lips swoop down on mine, claiming me again. And my mouth—the traitor—opens to him, betraying me. I want him. And he knows it now. My lips make that clear as they answer his and I lose myself again in his kiss, melting into his body, his hands on my back, pulling me close.
Toby barks again.
“I thought you and I were friends, Toby, after that sausage supper, but now I’m not so sure,” Ewan says.
“I’d better let him out.”
“It’s my last day off tomorrow. I’ll pick you up from work. It’s your marketing job, Monday to Friday, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know where you’ll be working?”
“I don’t know if I can go out with you again.”
“I know. I know you’re confused. But there’s only one way to find out. Try it. I’ll meet you after work.”
“I’ll text you.” It will be the easiest way to let him down. I don’t trust myself to see him again. I feel like he’s taken the legs from under me. Two days ago, my life was on an even keel. I was doing fine. And now? I meet a guy, and I’m all over the place.
I wave him off and sigh. Why did I let myself get mixed up in all this when I knew right at the start it was a bad idea?
There’s no way I can go on another date with Ewan, not when I know how he makes me feel. But I can’t find the words to tell him right now. I don’t think I have the strength.
By tomorrow, I’ll have my head straight, and I’ll be able to text him from work and stop him showing up. He doesn’t even know where I work.
Tonight, I’ll hug the memories of those kisses to myself and try to forget that when I was with him, I wanted more, much more.
*
I feel terrible entering the text into my phone next morning at work. Straight after I send it, I wonder if I made a big mistake. Normally, I never have a problem turning down a second date. Half the time I only go out with guys to keep Jessica off my back. She worries I’m turning into a recluse. One of these days, she’ll accept I’m happy to be single, even if she wants the whole marriage and babies thing herself.
But Ewan is not like the other guys I’ve dated. He’s gorgeous. He makes me laugh. And he’s nice. If I was looking for a relationship, there’s no question I’d have been saying yes to another date. And in the quiet moments at work, few though they are, I feel a bit down.
The day drags on. Then Mr. Grant catches me just as I’m about to leave and makes me photocopy twenty copies of the agenda and report for tomorrow’s senior exec meeting, so I’m half an hour late getting out of the office.
I plod downstairs and into reception, exhausted and fed up. I can finally escape.
“Lara!”
I almost walk past Ewan. He’s half hidden behind a massive bouquet of peach-colored roses.
“What are you doing here?” I’m so surprised I forget to be annoyed that he didn’t take no for an answer and leave me alone.
“Bringing you flowers.” He hands them to me and kisses me on the cheek, and the scent of him does that thing to my insides again. I see the receptionist looking over at me, smiling.
I pull my wits about me. He followed me here? I don’t like that. I don’t like that at all.
“How did you know where to find me? I didn’t tell you where I work.”
“You didn’t need to. You had a sticker on your car.”
“Oh, right.” For parking. Of course. I’m only a little relieved. He still followed me.
“Didn’t you get my text?” I blush. What a coward I was sending that.
“I did, but I wanted to hear you say it. I’m a glutton for punishment like that.”
So, I say it. “I don’t think we should see each other again.”
“Now say it like you mean it, and I’ll go away.”
I pause, but I can’t say it again. “You’re persistent.”
“You’re right, but only when it matters. It’s important when a building is in flames and there’s someone still in there, but it’s just as important when persuading this girl I know who wants to be alone to go out on a second date with me. I think she’ll eventually give in. Especially if I embarrass her enough at work with flowers. I might even have to get down on one knee and beg for a date.”
I look around. A few people are walking past, looking at us curiously. I didn’t even notice them.
“You wouldn’t...”
“Try me.”
I believe he would too. “I have to go home and...”
“And see to Toby. I know. I thought as much. I’ll pick you up at eight. He can stay at home this time, because dogs are not allowed where I’m taking you.”
“I haven’t said yes yet.”
He starts to bend one knee.
“Okay, yes, okay.” I pull him up before he can go right down. “Eight o’clock. Where are we going this time?”
“Somewhere nice.”
“Give me a clue. What should I wear?”
“Whatever you like. A dress?”
*
After I get home and let Toby out into the garden, I call Jessica.
“You’re going on a second date, and you didn’t tell me about the first one?”
“He just showed up at work, and I didn’t expect there to be a second. Now what should I wear?”
“A guy like him? Something sophisticated. Something that will knock him dead.”
“Hello, earth to Jessica. This is me, Lara. When have you ever seen me wear anything like that?”
“What was that dress you had for the company Christmas party that you said made you feel uncomfortable?”
“That black thing. It was far too low at the front. I kept thinking all the guys were staring down my front.”
“Wear that one.”
“I can’t wear that!”
“You have to. Nothing else you have will do. And high heels. Don’t spoil it by turning up in flats.”
“Oh god. What if it’s not a fancy place he’s taking me to, and he turns up in jeans? He looks nice in jeans.” God, I’m so distracted.
“I bet he does, and I bet he looks nice out of them from what I saw. Make sure you wear sexy, just-in-case undies.”
“Jessica, you’re terrible. I am not going to sleep with him. It’s not going any further. It’s just a second date.”
“And I’ve never had you on the phone asking my advice on what to wear before, so call me hopeful. I’m still expecting you to set me up with a firefighter when you can peel your eyes from yours. I’ve got a lot riding on this date. Go get him.”
She wishes me luck, and I tell her I have to go. I don’t have much time to get ready, and I still have to find an alternative to that black dress. But after another look at all the clothes I have, which doesn’t take long, I have to admit defeat.
Jessica is right. I don’t have any other dresses that would do. That’s the reason I bought the stupid black dress in the first place.
CHAPTER 10
Ewan
I almost say “Fuck!” when she answers the door, but I manage to turn that to “Fabulous,” just in time. She blushes and I kiss her cheek, being careful not to brush my body against hers, in case she gets greeted with the hard-on that dress created in my pants. She smells of some light, fresh fragrance that I’m starting to recognize as hers.
“Is this dress suitable for where we’re going?” she asks. “If it’s too much, I’ll go change.”
“Please don’t. I love it.”
I help her on with her coat. Having seen her in that dress, I’d like to keep her all to myself and not take her out. But if we stay here, I’m sure to do something to scare her off. That’s some combination—Lara and that dress. I was lost before, but one glance at her tonight, and I’ll never be found.
*
Priory Castle doesn’t let me down. I’ve always wanted to eat in the restaurant there, but it didn’t seem right to bring any other woman here. It’s just right for a special occasion like this, though—a hard-won second date with Lara.
The food is amazing. I’m driving, so I just sip at the wine, but it’s equally good. Despite all that, what I’ll remember most about the evening is Lara. We have very different lives, but we laugh at the same things. The conversation never dries up. She’s music to my eyes, my ears, my brain. I can’t get enough of her. She must feel it too.
When she excuses herself to go to the bathroom, I pay the waiter. Expensive night, but worth every damn penny! I’d do it again every night and never get tired. The waiter brings Lara’s coat.
The valet is waiting with my car at the front door, and I tip him.
“You paid for everything,” Lara says, when we get in. “I can’t let you pay all that.” She fishes around in her bag for money.
“Stop.” I put my hand on hers. “I invited you here. My treat.”
“It’s just that...”
“Just that you like to pay your way?”
“Yes.”
“I get that. But letting someone treat you or wanting to give someone you like a treat is not a crime. So just humor me for now.”
After chatting so much in the restaurant, she doesn’t say much on the way home. I ask her if she’s warm enough. She says she is. I ask her a couple of questions, but I get the briefest of answers. I can just about hear the wheels in her brain whirring around. But I don’t know exactly what’s going on in there.
When we finally get back to her place, I park the car and she says, “Thanks. I had a great time.”
“Me too. I’ll call you, and we can take Toby out again at the weekend. In case he gets jealous.”
“Just as friends?” She must be joking, because my dick has been showing how little he sees her as just a friend the whole night.
CHAPTER 11
Lara
He looks at me when I make the friends comment as if I’m out of my mind. But I like the idea. I like him. I get to see him. I don’t get entangled in anything I can’t cope with.
My brain is saying “with benefits.” I need to tell him “friend with benefits,” because I don’t want him to give up on me and go home.
But he gets out of the car before I can say anything. He opens my door, and I still don’t tell him that when he acts as if I can’t open a door for myself it annoys me. Somehow, that kind of thing is getting less irritating with him. He’s not treating me as some little woman. It’s just who he is. How he acts. Manners. Politeness. He would help anyone. A dog. A stranger. A charity.
“Yes, I’ll be nothing more than your friend,” he says, as I get out. “If that’s what you really want.”
He pulls me to him and kisses me, his mouth covering mine. A little moan escapes my throat and I push into him, kissing him back. I give myself up to him, letting him in, relishing his mouth on mine, the scent of pure Ewan, the strength of his arms around me.
It’s as if I’m addicted to that scent, to his mouth on mine, addicted to him. That kiss goes to my head and knocks every sensible thought right out of it, sending a shiver of need down my spine.
When we break apart, I’m breathing heavily. And something else. I feel the length of him hard against my body, and I know he wants me, desires me as much as I want and need him.
“Because friends kiss like that all time, don’t they?” he growls, running his hands over my nipples, hard through my dress, as if they’re begging for his touch.
“Friends with benefits do,” I blurt out.
“So, you want benefits now.
I’ll give you benefits.” He kisses me again, his hands running up my legs and cupping my bottom under my dress, his fingers venturing under the silky fabric of my underwear, stroking, but not going anywhere close enough to where I want them. I moan into him, hiding my face in his chest.
“Open the door, Lara,” he says, his voice low in his throat.
Somehow, it has completely slipped my mind that we are on the front door step where anyone can see what’s going on. Not that I live in a busy place, but my neighbors are always around.
I fumble with the key and suddenly we’re inside, and he has me pressed against the inside of the door. Toby barks from the kitchen, but I manage to ignore him for once. I don’t want him to see this. He won’t understand.
Stupid thought! He’s a dog, but I’m not sure I understand what’s happening here myself. Oh, but I’m deluding myself. I do.
Ewan plants a line of kisses down my neck, then pushes aside the neckline of my dress and continues kissing the swell of my breasts above my bra. “Is this the kind of benefit you wanted?” he asks. He pulls the black lace cups of my bra down and takes one hard nipple in his hot mouth, pausing only to say, “Is this?”
I can hardly breathe, let alone answer him. He sucks harder on my nipple, and licks at the hard peak, taking the other between his fingers, gently pinching and twisting. Every thought gets pushed aside by the aching hungry need in my body. I moan out his name and he groans.
“What about this benefit? Is this what you mean?” he says, gently biting down on my nipple. A wave of raw need runs right through my body, my hips pushing against him.
“Yes, no, I don’t know.” I can’t speak properly, let alone think with his hot mouth there.
“You don’t seem sure. Maybe this will help you make up your mind.” He drops to his knees and pulls down my panties, his mouth on me right there at my core, where I need him. His tongue reaches out and licks at me, once, twice, three times. “So sweet,” he says, looking up at me, his dark eyes flashing. “So fucking sexy. For a friend.”