by Dani Evans
Okay, so that’s a little too much info. My brother, yeah, I don’t need to hear about his sexual adventures. Yuk. I feel a little relief, but not much. Not like Jax would come right out and admit he screwed her, not with another female present.
Practice sucked and I’m so freaking tired from not getting good sleep last night. When I get home, I flop down on my bed and stare at the ceiling fan spinning round and round. Then I grab my phone intending on texting Tiffany to see if she wants to go to Muze tonight, when I notice two new texts.
I open the first one, an unknown number, and at first I see only a picture of Jax lying in his bed, naked from… well his lower half is covered with a blanket, but then I notice the clothes, a pink skirt, white shirt, and then. Lacy blue thongs and a matching bra are strewn on the edge of the bed. Under the picture, I see the text: In case you didn’t get a good look this morning… a smiley face follows and below that: Fucking amazing!
As if I need more torture, I open the text from Jax.
J: I wish you’d have been straight with me from the start. I hate that we can’t be together, but we could have, had I known. You’ve put me in a bad position and I don’t see how I can get out of it. I hope you understand.
What. Ever. He’s with her, and no, I don’t understand. I have to face it. Jax won’t be mine. And how could I want him after what he did with her? No. He’s probably been with others as well. I have to keep telling myself this and move on so I reply to his text.
Understand? What, that you’re fantastically huge?! Oh, I understand clearly. I understand so much more now. Lose my number. And FUCK YOU. I’m deleting you now!
I send it, but sadly, I can’t get myself to delete his number.
Or his pictures.
Stupid me.
I TORTURE MYSELF many more evenings over the next few weeks by coming to Muze, and every time, I catch him flirting with whatever girls are flocking around him like he’s Mr. Hollywood.
Well, fuck him. I can ignore. I can play his game and play it better! I take the first hot guy who asks me to dance up on the offer. I do it with several others, and I make damn sure to parade them around Jax… and whatever whore he’s got hanging on him. But things change. Somewhere between being jealous and making Jax jealous, I’ll find him staring at me as if I’m everything he wants but can’t have. The way he brushes past me, always touching my fingers, my arms, my thigh, and even my cheek when no one is looking… Then he’s back in the crowd, flirting, smiling that brilliant smile I love so much as do all the females in his presence, and he’s now whispering, stroking and slow dancing much too intimate with some brunette who was lucky enough to be chosen. It burns, chokes, and tears at my heart.
I find someone equally attractive… okay so that’s impossible; no guy holds a torch next to Jax. I settle for the next attractive male asking me to join him on the floor. Bradly, I think that’s his name? God, I can’t even focus on something as simple as a name! I’m furious and hurt beyond belief.
I glance up at… “Bradly, right?”
He nods and smiles down at me and he’s handsome. Dark spiky hair, striking green eyes, perfectly white teeth set behind perfectly kissable lips.
“What’s your name, beautiful?”
I put on a fake happy face. “Kimber.”
“Kimber. I like it.” Bradly winks at me and leads me onto the crowded dance floor. I scan the sea of people and find my target. He’s not too far away. Still holding Bradly’s hand, I tug on it, and nod toward the vicinity Jax is in. Bradly arches a brow.
“It’s closer to the stage,” I tell him. Kind of a lame excuse, but Bradly doesn’t complain.
I push indignation aside and try to focus on Bradly. His hands are warm and gentle. He’s muscular but not overdone. He has a strong jawline, nice lips, good teeth, pretty eyes… and he smells good. He’s not stepping on my toes or throwing himself all over, dancing like a moron.
The beat is fast, lively and I’m having fun, even forgetting about Jax.
The music changes. A slow song filters through the sound system. Bradly pulls me close, wraps his arms around my waist, and begins to sway gently. I raise my arms and lock my hands behind his neck. He obviously likes it, probably because it brings our bodies closer, more intimate. I cringe inwardly, careful not to show it.
Thankfully, I wore pumps with just enough height to allow me to see, just barely, over Bradly’s shoulder. I spot Jax immediately with whichever skank he’s with now, watching me over her shoulder. His lips purse into a thin, straight line, eyes narrowed—he’s furious! Good. I watch him watch me and decide to push him a little further. Sliding my hands along Bradly’s neck, I tangle my fingers in his hair causing him to groan.
Jax stills, his face now red with what? Fury? I continue teasing Bradly, pushing Jax a little further, and whisper against the shell of Bradly’s ear. “Mm. You smell so good,” I tell him in a way that I’m sure, to Jax, looks intimate.
Bradly’s hands find the globes of my ass and he jolts me forward, into his pelvis. It startles me enough to turn from Jax to push Bradly back and remove his hands from my butt.
“Sorry. I thought—” Bradly begins but he’s cut short when he’s suddenly ripped away from me.
“What are you—” I try to protest but Jax is dragging me off the dance floor so fast that I have to concentrate to keep myself from falling. He continues dragging me through the crowd, down the hall, toward the PRIVATE door.
I panic. “Jax, stop!” But he doesn’t. Instead, he releases my arm, pulls me in front of him, presses me against the door, and fishes a set of keys out of his pocket.
“What are you doing? I’m not going up there with you!” I struggle to free myself but fail.
“Shut up, Kimber,” he says heatedly. He’s angry and sickly enough, it thrills me.
After shoving me through the door, he locks it, making sure to keep a tight grip on me as he does. He brushes his fingers behind my neck, his grip tightening as he pulls me closer. Dropping his head, I feel his breath on my skin and I instantly bring my hands up, placing them on his chest. His lips graze my skin and without thought, I drop my head back. He moans softly as he gently kisses up my neck, along my jaw and pauses at my lips. His eyes are closed, face tense, but then his tongue darts out and spreads along the seam of my partially open mouth. I let out a little noise and that’s his undoing.
He wraps his free arm around my waist, presses me against the wall and though the metal rail winding up the stairwell grinds against my back, I barely notice. His tongue is deeply tangling with my own in a flurry of desperation, need, want… passion. His hands are everywhere… running down my back, under my shirt, mine under his tracing the perfect definition of muscles strewn across his chiseled abs. His along my stomach, across my breast, around back, unhitching my bra, squeezing one breast, then the other, pinching my nipples, sliding down into my pants, unbuttoning the button, kissing me intensely, fiercely… me taking him in just as eagerly, wanting needing… No! This isn’t right.
I grab his wrist, stopping him from going any further. He continues his assault but when I shift to push him back, we stumble onto the stairs. Jax raises my shirt, slips my bra over my breast and his hot lips latch on. He sucks, twirls my nipple around his tongue, sucks it into his mouth. Oh god. I want him so bad! I bite his shoulder, his fingers slide into my unbuttoned jeans, down my lace panties, circling the fabric covered skin causing me to arch into him. He’s everywhere, mouth licking and sucking every inch of my skin, his digits slipping under the fabric, sliding between the slick folds. I cry out when his finger presses into me, the way he curls it with the perfect amount of pressure, his primal moan… my mewling…. Rational thought seizes me but then I think about where we are, in a stairwell that leads to whatever dirty thing they have going on upstairs.
“Stop.” Oh god, I want to let him slide his fingers deeper—
“You’ve got the nicest fucking ass,” he moans as he removes his fingers to cup and squeeze my but
t, pulling me closer, his hips swaying, then grinding his fully erect cock between my legs. His eyes are feral when he locks them on mine, as if asking permission but refusing to take no for an answer. And then I feel it, his hand moving over my ass, his fingers snaking down the center, between the crack, toward the tight ring and I gasp.
Flashes of Timber exiting Jax’s room, in his shirt, rubbing her supposedly tender abdomen from a supposedly a ‘long night’ and how ‘he’s fantastically huge’ suddenly sicken me. I can’t let him. I just can’t! I’m already wet with want and I can’t go there, can’t let him use me like that.
I push him back. “Stop. Please. Just stop.”
He stares down at me, confusion washing over his beautiful face. “Why?”
“Get off!” I shove at his chest.
“No. I want this. You want this. Stop fighting it,” he says, all confusion lost and replaced with a smirk.
A cruel laugh escapes me as I continue to fight him, working my knees between us to keep him from grinding against me.
I manage to stand and he pushes up to stand in front of me. He raises his arms, leans on his bent elbows on each side of my shoulders, and cages me in. I need to get away from him before he notices the moisture in my eyes. I dip low and step out from under his arms. I’ve got to get out of here before he takes control of me because I’m not sure I’d be able to stop him again.
He presses his forehead against the wall and pounds his fist. “Goddammit,” he says and slowly turns to face me. “What? Is there something wrong with me? You find me unattractive? ’Cause that’d be a first. There are plenty of willing—” He laughs, but it’s a bitter, cruel sound.
Whores? I think it, and want to shout it out, his fuckup. I feel heat in my cheeks but it’s no longer a pretty or sex induced heat. I button my jeans, fix my bra, push my shirt down, and then grab my purse, slinging it over my shoulder.
I’m mad and hurt. His words prove I’m nothing to him. Nothing more than some sick sordid whatever the fuck they have going on. I desperately want to call him out on it, on her, but I can’t. The words are knotted at the back of my throat. I shrug, take in a deep breath, lift my shoulders, and push the knot down my throat.
I should run and never look back, but my mouth gets the better of me.
“You know what you can do, Jax? You can just fuck off!” I step around him but he comes at me as I rush out the door. He’s not quick enough and I run down the hall.
“Kimber!” Jax shouts, but I keep moving, weaving into the crowd until I reach the entrance of Muze and escape.
I tear out of the parking lot and speed home. I’m fuming, confused and hurt, and rip my clothes off. After crawling under the sheets, I lie in bed, unable to sleep as visuals of Jax with the bitch slip into my thoughts. In fact, I not only wonder if he’s been with her, but others as well. I think about the PRIVATE door and what goes on upstairs. Has he taken any females up there, would he have taken me up there had I allowed him to continue to ravage me?
I HAVEN’T FORGOTTEN the key I swiped from Kolby, but then I wonder if it’s the right one because he hasn’t asked or stalked over here to threaten me into giving it back.
There is only one way to find out.
The following evening, I head to Blaze and enter Muze. It’s busy and I slip easily into the crowd, work my way toward the famous back door. I choose the gold key, the only gold key in the mix of silver. My hands are shaking so bad I have a hard time slipping it into the deadbolt, but lo and behold, I turn it a little and it’s the golden ticket, or key.
I enter, close the door, turn the lock, and then lean on the cool metal. After my heart stops racing, I notice an elevator straight ahead—I guess I was too wrapped up in Jax to notice it last night—but deem it unsafe. I bypass it and take the stairs to release some of my nervous energy. I reach the fourth floor and take in a deep breath before turning the knob. Then I think about Jax and reconsider. What if he’s with… her? And if they’re up here….
I slip through and halt when I notice a familiar face. Kolby’s best friend, Jaden, is sitting in a maroon wing back chair, his ankles crossed, a pencil wedged between his teeth, his fingers stroking madly over the keypad of his laptop. He has an ear bud in his ear and it’s plugged into his laptop. His eyes widen and a grin spreads across his lips. By the look on his face, I’d swear he’s watching porn. He reaches for a pad on the table, his mouth drops open dislodging the pencil, and it falls into his lap. He’s definitely watching porn! The rising tent in his sweats gives him away. Perv! Okay, so maybe I’m a perv too because I watch him dip his hand down, reaching for the pencil, but instead of retrieving the pencil, he rubs his palm over his erection.
I bet I can scare the shit out of him, and embarrass the hell outta him, and I will, but for now, I think I’ll stay put and see what he’s up to. I move in closer, slink behind the marble planter with some fancy fake tree in it.
Jaden moves the laptop, covering his erection and then taps the mouse-pad, probably pausing his porn video. His head snaps up just as the sound of a door opening echoes down the hall. I pull back so he won’t see me in case he turns in my direction.
Laughter.
I hear male and female laughter.
“Go on, Sugar, I’ll meet you downstairs in a few. I need to have a few words with my buddy, Jaden.”
Nick?! I think I’m going to barf in my mouth. I can hear the shuffling of his feet as he closes in. Hands slap together and I know Jaden and Nick are hi fiving. I don’t even want to know what that was all about. Darcy’s right. Something is going on with the Kappa Alpha Omega.
“Fifty points. You got that, right? All fifty filthy fucking points,” Nick says. “You gonna give me the scores? Am I topping Jax? That fucker knows how to work ’em, but fuck me if I’m not gonna give him a run for his money, Kolby included. Doubt that weasel, Warren, has scored anything more than a kiss and a titty twist,” Nick says, but my head is reeling, and I suddenly feel sick. I don’t know what kind of shit they have going on, but it’s not good. Chicks, scores, more chicks and the mention of topping Jax means only one thing for me. Jax is a liar and he’s used me. Oh my freaking god. Oh my go—has he been bringing others here after our dates?
Jaden chuckles. “Yeah, well, Jax hasn’t been active for a while so if you keep it up, you could win the jackpot.”
Nick’s voice erupts, and assaults me further, temporarily taking me out of my mental hell.
“I had her calling it out. Hell, I didn’t even have to ask her to tell me what she wanted me to do to her. She practically screamed it. Dude, did you about fuck yourself when she told me she was gonna suck my cock down her throat?”
“Jeezes, Nick. Shut the hell up. We don’t want this shit leaking out. You know what that could do to our professional careers? We won’t have one, dick-wad, so keep your trap shut,” Jaden clips in a harsh undertone.
“That’s two so far, and the night is young. I’m ballin’ at a hundred points in less than three hours. Fuck yeah, asshole,” Nick hisses and then I hear the sound of his footsteps padding down the hall. The ding of the elevator, the sound of the doors sliding closed, tells me he’s finally gone. Pig.
I squeeze my eyes closed, forcing the tears back. My lips are quivering so hard from holding back the sob, but a rush of air slips past them, sounding like a wet fart. I shove my hand over my mouth, squeezing my eyes tighter, and pray Jaden didn’t hear me.
My heart is in my throat as Jaden reaches back, tugs on the cord, shoves it in his computer case along with the laptop, and then stands up. I scoot against the back of the chair when I see him next to the door turning the handle. I let out a sigh of relief when the door closes behind him.
The floor is so quiet it’s almost creepy. Ten minutes have passed since Jaden packed up and left. My phone lights up and it’s a text from… Jax.
J: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but you hurt me too. Can you meet me at Muze?
I scramble to my feet, push through the
door, careful not to let it slam shut just in case… and rush down the stairs. After pressing my ear against the door and assuring myself nobody is standing on the other side, I turn the lock, exit, and then slide my key into the deadbolt to lock it.
I have to hold it together. Have to find out if… was he using me? He’d been with me most of the nights he was free, up until he learned the truth. Is he part of it again? Was he part of it when… no, Jaden told Nick Jax hasn’t been active, so—
“Hey you,” Jax says and startles me. He’s here, already? Thank god I made it to the stage before running into him.
One glance at him and I melt. Oh god. Keep it together, Kimber. Play him. You can do it, and do it better.
I ignore him and storm off. Is he here to… what? Will he take someone upstairs? I can’t let myself go there. I rush out of Blaze and go home.
I’VE SLUMMED AROUND my dorm long enough. It’s been two excruciatingly long weeks since the incident at Blast, the frat house, my discovery of the upstairs at Muze, and running into Jax. Or the bitch.
He’s texted me a few times, but I delete his texts without reading them, not wanting to hear about Timber, or how I lied. But who was the first to jump at the opportunity to go to a party at the frat house? Guess I’m up for more torture. Yes, I want to see him. Yes, I’m secretly hoping he will say he can’t be without me, how much he misses me, but I doubt there is such a thing as hope.
A few hours later, I’m dressed to impress, preferably Jax. I ride with Erik, a classmate, and yeah, I’m going to play it up in front of Jax. Of course we’re meeting my girl, Tiffany there. Then I wonder… what if Jax is with Timber, or another girl? Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.
Erik’s nice and makes small talk. I think I make him nervous with my lack of response, other than a yes or a no. I can’t help it. My mind is conjuring up all these horrible thoughts about Jax and who he might be with. It makes me want to hurl when I imagine him with that whore, Timber.