Moore than Forever

by Julie Richman

  “A month, six weeks. I mean we’ll only be a phone call away and he’ll have Lucas here backing him up.”

  Schooner picked up his phone to look at the calendar, as he scrolled, “So will Lucas be ok not being your backfill?”

  Yoli laughed, “He will be relieved. Dealing with stress is not his strong suit.”

  Looking up from his phone, “So basically I can have you here full time before the wedding.”

  Registering shock, “You’ve set a wedding date and you didn’t tell me?”

  Laughing, “I just found out myself. It seems Seth just advised Mia of the details. We’re getting married at a resort on the beach on September 27th out in Montauk, which is on the eastern tip of Long Island.”

  “Well, then I need to get to New York before that to find a place to live,” Yoli started scrolling through her calendar.

  “Why don’t you and Debbie use Mia’s old apartment when you first get here and look for a place to live once you’re here? It will be much easier and you can get a feel for neighborhoods and what you want.”

  “Well thank you. I think we will take you up on that,” putting her phone down, “I have to tell you, this whole wedding thing is so odd. You and Mia relinquishing control, it’s kind of unbelievable considering both of your personalities.”

  Laughing, “I know. I was thinking the very same thing last night, but we’ve got the dream team on this, two gay men and a Jewish mother, I cannot even imagine how beautiful this is going to be.”

  “Well, we can’t wait.”

  “And I can’t wait to get you here full time.”

  Ending the Skype call, Schooner picked up his cell, “Hey there.”

  “I was just thinking about you.”

  Schooner laughed, “Yeah, well, I was just talking about you.”

  “I had a great meeting with Yoli. I really like her. Smart, straight shooter.”

  “Think you could work with her?”

  “Yeah, actually I do. I think we’d make a good team.”

  Sitting back in his chair, Schooner stretched out his long legs, “Excellent.”

  Chapter Fifty-four

  Although Schooner was angry at his older son for not returning home until sunrise, without so much as a phone call as to his whereabouts and for not answering repeated calls to his cell phone (the battery died excuse), their end of the summer dinner at Maguire’s had none of the tension as the meal they’d shared there the summer before, on the night that Zac had arrived.

  Waiting up and worried that morning, Schooner railed on his college-bound son about respecting the people around him and hoped he’d gotten through to him at least a little bit. On the second to last night of the best summer of his life, Zac had been out enjoying the spoils of being eighteen, rich and exceedingly handsome, in one of New York’s most coveted summer playgrounds.

  Crawling into bed as the sun came up, Zac was in that half sleep state when he instinctively felt like someone was staring at him. Opening his eyes, he was face to face with a smiling set of large, near black eyes.

  “Daddy’s mad at you,” Portia lied down next to him, her head on his pillow, “he’s very, very mad.” It was the first time Portia had seen Schooner angry and she was clearly upset by it.

  “Dad’s often mad at me, Po.” Not being able to say Portia, Nathaniel referred to his new sister as Po, and now both of her brothers were calling her that.

  Her face took on a very serious cast, “I still love you, Zac.”

  And he knew she did and always would. This sweet and well behaved little girl, who was now his sister, loved him and looked up to him. The way her face and Nathaniel’s face lit up every time he entered a room, continued to blow his mind and make his heart feel things it had never felt before. And what blew him away even more, was just how much he loved his new little brother and sister. That was a twist Zac Moore did not see coming.

  “C’mere you,” he pulled her to him, “can you go back to sleep or are you going to keep me awake?”

  “I’ll sleep,” and she cuddled up next to him.

  Now sitting on the deck at Maguire’s, Mia, Schooner, the kids, Seth, Charles, Gaby and Paola enjoyed a relatively drama free dinner.

  “Holly, I’m sure you are excited about seeing Jared again,” Gaby passed her the pot of steamers.

  Pulling out a clam and dipping it in broth, then drawn butter, Holly nodded, “I can’t believe he spent the entire summer in Michigan.”

  Zac snickered, “A certain manager of this very establishment didn’t seem too sad that he wasn’t here this summer.”

  “Shut up, Cretin,” Holly snapped.

  “No name calling around the kids,” Schooner was playing the disciplinarian.

  Smiling at him, Mia could see that he was loving every minute of this, including the normal teenage banter of his older two.

  “This was a really good summer,” Mia noted and everyone at the table agreed as they worked on the pots of steamers, “I wish it wasn’t ending.”

  The next day Schooner would be driving Holly and Zac up to Providence and Boston, getting them settled into their dorms, and Mia would be heading back into the city with the two little ones.

  “Oh don’t get all maudlin, BBC, we’ll all be together again at the end of September.” Seth turned to Holly and Zac, “I’m having your clothes for the wedding shipped to me, so all you two need to do is show up.”

  They both knew better than to argue with him, especially when it came to the wedding.

  “Daddy, how long will you be away?”

  Schooner had just spent the last ten days out at the beach with them and Portia had been at his side the whole time. This was her first sign of separation anxiety.

  “Only two days, sweetheart and then I’ll be back in the city with you, Mommy and Nathaniel,” his response seemed to allay Portia’s concern.

  “So, what are the honeymoon plans?” Gaby asked, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

  “We’re not…” Mia began.

  “I’ve got that taken care of,” Schooner cut her off.

  “You do?” Mia’s face was a picture in shock. “We’re going on a honeymoon?”

  “I’ve got it taken care of,” he repeated and focused on cracking a lobster claw.

  Mia turned to Seth. He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, clearly clueless. Next, she turned to Charles with a questioning look, and he too, shook his head.

  “Ooooo Kayyyyyy,” Mia picked up the cracker for her lobster. Again, she looked at Seth and Charles, hoping to pick up a sign. Either they both had great poker faces or Schooner Moore was keeping one hell of a secret.

  Mia Silver was finally excited about her own wedding.

  Chapter Fifty-five

  They all disembarked the ferry the next morning on the mainland. Schooner and Zac reloaded the Range Rover with all the college bound duffels, while Charles loaded Mia and the kid’s stuff into his Yukon.

  “We’ll come out next weekend and get the rest of the stuff out of the beach house,” Schooner promised Mia.

  Sensing the change, Nathaniel started fussing in his stroller and holding his arms out to be picked up, “Zaaaaaa Zaaaaa,” fat tears rolled down his cheeks as he called out to his brother.

  Squatting down next to the stroller, Zac tried to comfort him, “You’re going to see me in less than four weeks, buddy.”

  “Zaaaa,” he continued to cry.

  “You can take him out of the stroller, Zac. I need to get him in the car seat,” Mia was getting choked up watching the scene.

  As soon as Zac picked him up, Nathaniel quieted down. Walking away from them, he took his brother across the parking lot for a private conversation with the infant. When they returned, Zac’s eyes were red. Handing the baby to Mia, he walked over to the Range Rover and got into the front seat without a word to anyone.

  Mia and Schooner exchanged a glance. Was this the same angry teen that had nearly ripped their lives apart last summer?

  Portia
banged on the car door with an open hand, “You forgot to say goodbye to me, Zac.”

  Opening the door, he reached down and pulled her up onto his lap. “How about if we say, ‘I’ll see you in four weekends’?”

  Smiling, “Ok, I’ll see you in four weekends,” and with a quick kiss on the cheek, she climbed out of the car, turned to Holly and with a smile as bright as the noon sun reflecting on the ocean, “I’ll see you in four weekends, Holly.”

  As they drove off in the Range Rover, Charles slung an arm over Mia’s shoulder, “Had I not seen that with my own eyes, Meezie, I’d never believe that actually just happened.”

  “Do you think he’s salvageable material?” Mia looked up at Charles, her face still registering shock.

  Laughing, “I think the jury is still out on that one, but I think for the first time we just got a glimpse that he is actually Schooner’s son, not just some surly teen wearing a Schooner mask.”

  “Well, he’s certainly got a fan club in his little brother and sister.”

  Leaning down, Charles whispered in Mia’s ear, “I still wouldn’t stand next to him at the top of a staircase if I were you.”

  Laughing so hard, that tears were running down their cheeks, Mia playfully punched Charles in the arm, “Now that might just be the best piece of advice you have ever given me.”

  Chapter Fifty-six

  September 11th

  Nathaniel was fast asleep in his stroller when they reached the memorial site. Scooping Portia up into his arms to ease negotiating through the crowd, Schooner followed closely behind Mia and Nathaniel. Dressed in her pink party dress, Schooner could feel her trepidation being around so many people, many of whom were sad and crying, and he knew his daughter was picking up on his own anxiety.

  Mia looked back to make sure they were close behind. She tried to smile, but her face was having no part of it. Today was a big day, and even if it wasn’t, she didn’t think it would ever get easier. The plan was to meet everyone over at the section of the fountain where Michael’s name was engraved. Being here with Schooner, Nathaniel and Portia changed the equation and her normal level of 9/11 discomfort was greatly amplified.

  Seeing Charles, she waved to catch his attention. With a smile, he returned the wave and Evelyn Portman turned around. Their eyes met as Mia approached, and the floodgates released, tears openly spilling down Mia’s face. This deep seated feeling of betrayal kept bubbling up and she knew that it was ridiculous, but she dreaded today’s memorial more than any since its inception.

  Evelyn greeted Mia with a sincere, warm smile and embrace. Looking down at the sleeping baby, “Mia, he’s beautiful and you look wonderful, sweetheart.”

  Rubbing her arm lovingly, “You do, too. That is Nathaniel and I have two more very special people to introduce to you.”

  Schooner had just caught up and Portia was hiding her face in his neck.

  “Schooner, this is Michael’s mom, Evelyn Portman. Evelyn, this is my fiancé, Schooner Moore.”

  With his real smile, Schooner bent down and kissed Evelyn’s cheek, “I am so happy to meet you, Evelyn. Mia has told me so much about you and Michael.”

  “Portia, I want you to meet somebody really special.”

  The little girl turned around with a shy smile.

  “Portia, this is your Grandma Evelyn and she’s been really looking forward to meeting you.”

  Evelyn’s eyes filled with tears, “Hello, Portia.”

  And with a shy smile, “Today is my birthday, Grandma Evelyn. I’m four,” and she held up four fingers.

  The surprise and delight on Evelyn’s face at Portia’s British accent was evident. Turning to Mia, “She is precious,” she leaned into Mia and whispered in her ear, “and he looks like a movie star.”

  Laughing, “Don’t tell him that,” Mia whispered back and both women laughed.

  Looking up at Schooner, she could sense his discomfort. It was the expectation of the unknown and she remembered Gaby’s first memorial service and how profoundly affected she had been.

  “Daddy, I want to go down,” Portia squirmed in his arms.

  As soon as he put her on the ground, the little girl positioned herself in between Mia and Evelyn. A look passed between the two women.

  Looking at her watch, it was 8:35. With a hand on Schooner’s arm, she felt a need to warn him, so that he could prepare himself. “The first moment of silence is in five minutes.”

  He nodded and she could see the tension in his jaw and knew he couldn’t speak. Letting her hand slide down his arm until they were hand in hand, she realized how pivotal today was in all of their lives. Today was the day it all came together, past, present and future to form the complete tapestry.

  It was 8:40 and the silence was as deafening as it had always been. Mia wondered if everyone else heard the same screams and cries inside themselves that she heard, felt the same clawing and anguish. As her eyes blurred with tears, she looked to her left and Portia had taken Evelyn’s hand. Mia could feel her knees almost buckling at the knowing and enormity of that gesture. Looking to her right, a distraught Schooner stood staring straight ahead, his spine stiff and his shoulders squared, tears staining his cheeks as he was somewhere far away, off in his own head. Mia squeezed his hand. He needed to know he was connected. He needed to know he was a part of all of them. As were Gaby, Paola, Nathaniel and Portia. They were now all forever woven into this tapestry, each with their own place. Mia saw them in her head like ribbon dancers, each with a unique color, weaving inextricably through the tapestry as they all became one.

  Squeezing her hand back, he looked down at her, searching her eyes for answers. But she had none. She knew Schooner well enough to know that had he been there that day, he would’ve been right there, by Charles’ side, digging through hot ash in search of their friend and others’ loved ones.

  Nathaniel was now awake and wanted out of his stroller. Mia picked him up and handed him to Schooner, sensing he needed to hold him, that he needed an anchor. Portia was now holding onto Evelyn’s leg and her new grandmother lovingly had an arm around the little girl’s shoulder.

  Mia stood there alone. An island. Trying so hard to breathe. Today felt different than all of the other memorials. Portia was there. Her tribute to Michael. Nathaniel was there. The light that she created in her new relationship. And Schooner was there.

  Schooner Moore, who on some level, had stood between her and Michael. Was bringing him here a betrayal, she asked herself. The conflict was raging so deeply, ripping new jagged edges of guilt to the pain.

  I did love you, Michael, the monologue in her head pulled her away from her physical surroundings, I really did love you. Probably more than you even realized. So much of who I am today is because of you. You gave me so much strength and you made me see that I am worth loving. You were just a gift. A very precious gift, for which I will always be grateful. I carry you with me everywhere and I always will. And now with Portia, I feel like there is a living piece of you that I will always get to celebrate. And Schooner wants me to honor you - he doesn’t ever want me to hide that or feel like I can’t. So, I will always honor you. I will forever honor you through Portia.

  They were in the P’s on the reading of the names, getting close to Michael’s. Mia looked up to the sky to try and stave off the flood of tears she felt rising to their release. A flock of seagulls circled overhead. They’re back, she thought, why are they back? Swooping, the birds circled around and back, forming a perfectly straight line. Five seagulls flew overhead keeping flawless pace with one another, their precision a sight to behold. Mia watched the five seagulls as they maintained their undeviating line and then, without warning, the gull at the center, shot up from its flock, disappearing into the vast blue sky, leaving the remaining four birds continuing together on their path.

  Hearing herself gasp, and the cry from deep in her throat, Mia felt her face crumble. What was that? She couldn’t put her finger on it. But it was something deep, deep in her soul
and it was shattering, and yet, she just couldn’t figure it out. But she knew that she should know.

  And then there it was, the memory became crystal clear. It had been a cold January day, the year before she left for college. Home sick with the flu, Mia watched from her bed the TV coverage of the memorial service for the Space Shuttle Challenger. At the end of the ceremony, the Air Force performed an aerial salute, the Missing Man Formation, where one jet shot away from the formation signifying the fallen’s departure to the heavens. That simple tribute had rocked Mia to the core as she lie in her bed sobbing for those lost in the tragic accident.

  And now today, she had witnessed it again. Five birds. One ascending to heaven. And four were left behind. Mia. Schooner. Nathaniel. And Portia.

  With tears flowing, she nodded her head. He had been giving her signs. Msikana. Portia’s Birthday. And now the gulls. The gulls who had been bearing messages all along, how apt that they would deliver this final message, their symbolism as clear as the sky.

  Michael’s ascension to the heavens, leaving her and Schooner behind with the kids was the sign Mia needed. She could feel complete again and it was ok. He was ok with it. She was in the place he wanted her to be.

  In that moment, Mia knew that she was free to marry Schooner and that it was Michael Portman who would be giving her away.

  Chapter Fifty-seven

  The traditional rehearsal dinner on Friday night became an open friends/family/guest affair for all out-of-town guests and those who had ventured the three hours out to Montauk from the city the day before the wedding. Held on a terrace outside at 6 P.M., the guests would get to enjoy sunset on this balmy fall evening.

  With sitters in tow to watch the kids, in addition to Holly and Zac, Schooner and Mia were actually enjoying the rare leisurely process of getting dressed in their private cottage. The team that Seth had hired had come by earlier to do Mia’s hair and make-up and now all she had to do was slip into her dress, a simple Michael Kors black drop-waist lace sheath, and shoes.