Crazy Like a Fox

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Crazy Like a Fox Page 1

by Rita Mae Brown




  Crazy Like a Fox is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2017 by American Artist, Inc.

  Illustrations copyright © 2017 by Lee Gildea, Jr.

  All rights reserved.

  Published in the United States by Ballantine Books, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.

  BALLANTINE and the HOUSE colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.

  LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA

  Names: Brown, Rita Mae, author.

  Title: Crazy like a fox : a novel / Rita Mae Brown.

  Description: New York : Ballantine Books, 2017.

  Identifiers: LCCN 2017038843 | ISBN 9780399178344 (hardback) | ISBN

  9780399178351 (ebook)

  Subjects: LCSH: Arnold, Jane (Fictitious character)—Fiction. | Fox

  hunting—Fiction. | BISAC: FICTION / Suspense. | FICTION / Humorous. |

  GSAFD: Mystery fiction. | Suspense fiction.

  Classification: LCC PS3552.R698 C73 2017 | DDC 813/.54—dc23

  LC record available at lccn.loc.gov/​2017038843

  Ebook ISBN 9780399178351

  randomhousebooks.com

  Cover design: Victoria Allen

  Cover illustration: Peter Malone

  v4.1

  ep

  Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Cast of Characters

  Some Useful Terms

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Afterword

  The Maternal Grandsire Effect

  Dedication

  By Rita Mae Brown

  About the Author

  CAST OF CHARACTERS

  THE HUMANS

  Jane Arnold, M.F.H., “Sister,” runs The Jefferson Hunt. MFH stands for Master of Foxhounds, the individual who runs the hunt, deals with every crisis both on and off the field. She is strong, bold, loves her horses and her hounds. In 1974, her fourteen-year-old son was killed in a tractor accident. That loss deepened her, taught her to cherish every minute. She’s had lots of minutes as she’s in her early seventies, but she has no concept of age.

  Shaker Crown hunts the hounds. He tries to live up to the traditions of this ancient sport, which goes back to the pharaohs. He and Sister work well together, truly enjoy each other. He is in his mid-forties. Divorced for many years and a bit gun-shy.

  Gray Lorillard isn’t cautious in the hunt field, but he is cautious off it as he was a partner in one of the most prestigious accounting firms in D.C. He knows how the world really works and, although retired, is often asked to solve problems at his former firm. He is smart, handsome, in his early sixties, and is African American.

  Crawford Howard is best described by Aunt Daniella who commented, “There’s a great deal to be said about new money and Crawford means to say it all.” He started an outlaw pack of hounds when Sister did not ask him to be her Joint Master. Slowly, he is realizing you can’t push people around in this part of the world. Fundamentally, he is a decent and generous man.

  Sam Lorillard is Gray’s younger brother. Sam Lorillard works at Crawford’s stables. Crawford hired Sam when no one else would, so Sam is loyal. He blew a full scholarship to Harvard thanks to the bottle. He’s good with horses. His brother saved him and he’s clean, but so many people feel bad about what might have been. He focuses on the future.

  Daniella Laprade is Gray and Sam’s aunt. She is an extremely healthy nonagenarian who isn’t above shaving a year or two off her age. She may even be older than her stated ninety-four. Her past is dotted with three husbands and numerous affairs, all carried out with discretion.

  Anne Harris, “Tootie,” left Princeton in her freshman year as she missed foxhunting in Virginia so very much. Her father had a cow, cut her out of his will. She takes classes at the University of Virginia and is now twenty-two and shockingly beautiful. She is African American.

  Yvonne Harris, Tootie’s mother, is a former model who has fled Chicago and her marriage. She’s filed for divorce from Victor Harris, a hard-driving businessman who built an African American media empire. She built it with him. She is trying to understand Tootie, feels she was not so much a bad mother as an absent one. Her experience has been different from her daughter’s and Tootie’s freedoms were won by Yvonne’s generation and those prior. Yvonne doesn’t understand that Tootie doesn’t understand.

  Wesley Carruthers, “Weevil,” was the huntsman for The Jefferson Hunt from 1947 to 1954 when he disappeared never to be found. As beautiful as a Greek god, bursting with life and humor, ladies threw themselves at him. Often he picked them up, married or unmarried. Consensus, over time, was that an irate husband killed him. The problem is that he does reappear in 2017, young and handsome. How?

  Marion Maggiolo owns Horse Country, an elegant tack, clothing, silver, etc., store in Warrenton, Virginia. If there’s a board, Marion sits on it as she is a powerhouse of good deeds and wonderful ideas. She and Sister serve on the board for the Museum of Hounds and Hunting. They get far more than they bargained for.

  Alfred and Binky DuCharme are two brothers in their early seventies who hate each other so much they haven’t spoken for over fifty years. This is because Binky stole and married Alfred’s girlfriend.

  Margaret DuCharme, M.D., is Alfred’s daughter and she’s acted as a go-between for her father and uncle since childhood. Her cousin, Binky’s son Arthur, also acts as a go-between and both the cousins are just fed up with it. They are in their early forties, Margaret being more successful than Arthur but he’s happy enough.

  Walter Lungrun, M.D., JT-MFH, is a cardiologist who has hunted with Sister since his boyhood. He is the late Raymond Arnold’s son, which Sister knows. No one talks about it and Walter’s father always acted as though he were Walter’s father. It’s the way things are done around here. Let sleeping dogs lie.

  Betty Franklin is an honorary whipper-in, which means she doesn’t get paid. Whippers-in emit a glamorous sheen to other foxhunters and it is a daring task. One must know a great deal and be able to ride hard, jump high, think in a split second. She is Sister’s best friend and in her mid-fifties. Everyone loves Betty.

  Bobby Franklin especially loves Betty as he is her husband. He leads Second Flight, those riders who may take modest jumps but not the big ones. He and Betty own a small printing press and nearly lost their shirts when computers started printing out stuff. But people have returned to true printing, fine papers, etc. They’re doing okay.

  Kasmir Barbhaiya made his money in India in pharmaceuticals. Educated in an English public school, thence on to Oxford, he is highly intelligent and tremendously wealthy. Widowed, he moved to Virginia to be close to an old Oxford classmate and
his wife. He owns marvelous horses and rides them well. He thought he would forever be alone but the Fates thought otherwise. Love has found him.

  Edward and Tedi Bancroft, in their eighties, are stalwarts of The Jefferson Hunt and dear friends of Sister’s. Evangelista, Edward’s deceased sister, had an affair with Weevil; although hushed up, it caused uproar in the Bancroft family.

  Ben Sidell is the county sheriff who is learning to hunt and loves it. Nonni, his horse, takes good care of him. He learns far more about the county by hunting than if he just stayed in his squad car. He dates Margaret DuCharme, M.D., an unlikely pairing that works.

  Cynthia Skiff Cane hunts Crawford’s outlaw pack. He’s gone through three other huntsmen but she can handle him. Sam Lorillard helps, too.

  Monica Greenberg, a dazzler, rides sidesaddle and is organizing a sidesaddle exhibit for the Museum of Hounds and Hunting. She is patient and kind, just loves her horse.

  Cindy Chandler owns Foxglove Farm, one of The Jefferson Hunt’s fixtures. She’s not much in evidence in this volume but, like all landowners, she is important.

  Victor Harris is Tootie’s father. Jerk doesn’t begin to cover it.

  THE AMERICAN FOXHOUNDS

  Lighter than the English foxhound, with a somewhat slimmer head, they have formidable powers of endurance and remarkable noses.

  Cora is the head female. What she says goes.

  Asa is the oldest hunting male hound, and he is wise.

  Diana is steady, in the prime of her life, and brilliant. There’s no other word for her but “brilliant.”

  Dasher is Diana’s littermate and often overshadowed by his sister, but he sticks to business and is coming into his own.

  Dragon is also a littermate of the above D hounds. He is arrogant, can lose his concentration and tries to lord it over other hounds.

  Dreamboat is of the same breeding as Diana, Dasher, and Dragon, but a few years younger.

  —

  Hounds take the first initial of their mother’s name. Following are hounds ordered from older to younger. No unentered hounds are included in this list. An unentered hound is not yet on the Master of Foxhounds stud books and not yet hunting with the pack. They are in essence kindergartners. Trinity, Tinsel, Trident, Ardent, Thimble, Twist, Tootsie, Trooper, Taz, Tatoo, Parker, Pickens, Zane, Zorro, Zandy, Giorgio, Pookah, Pansy, Audrey, Aero, Angle, Aces.

  THE HORSES

  Keepsake, TB/QH, Bay; Lafayette, TB, Gray; Rickyroo, TB, Bay; Aztec, TB, Chestnut; Matador, TB, Flea-bitten Gray. All are Sister’s geldings. Showboat, Hojo, Gunpowder, and Kilowatt, all TBs, are Shaker’s horses.

  Outlaw, QH, Buckskin, and Magellan, TB, Dark Bay (which is really black), are Betty’s horses.

  Wolsey, TB, Flaming Chestnut, is Gray’s horse. His red coat gave him his name for Cardinal Wolsey.

  Iota, TB, Bay, is Tootie’s horse.

  Matchplay and Midshipman are young Thoroughbreds of Sister’s that are being brought along. Takes good time to make a solid foxhunter. Sister never hurries a horse or a hound in its schooling.

  THE FOXES

  Reds

  Aunt Netty, older, lives at Pattypan Forge. She is overly tidy and likes to give orders.

  Uncle Yancy is Aunt Netty’s husband but he can’t stand her anymore. He lives at the Lorillard farm, has all manner of dens and cubbyholes.

  Charlene lives at After All Farm. She comes and goes.

  Target is Charlene’s mate but he stays at After All. The food supply is steady and he likes the other animals.

  Earl has the restored stone stables at Old Paradise all to himself. He has a den in a stall but also makes use of the tack room. He likes the smell of the leather.

  Sarge is half-grown. He found a den in big boulders at Old Paradise thanks to help from a doe. It’s cozy with straw, old clothing bits, and even a few toys.

  James lives behind the mill at Mill Ruins. He is not very social but from time to time will give the hounds a good run.

  Ewald is a youngster who was directed to a den in an outbuilding during a hunt. Poor fellow didn’t know where he was. The outbuilding at Mill Ruins will be a wonderful home as long as he steers clear of James.

  Grays

  Comet knows everybody and everything. He lives in the old stone foundation part of the rebuilt log-and-frame cottage at Roughneck Farm.

  Inky is so dark she’s black and she lives in the apple orchard across from the above cottage. She knows the hunt schedule and rarely gives hounds a run. They can just chase someone else.

  Georgia moved to the old schoolhouse at Foxglove Farm.

  Grenville lives at Mill Ruins, in the back in a big storage shed. This part of the estate is called Shootrough.

  Gris lives at Tollbooth Farm in the Chapel Cross area. He’s very clever and can slip hounds in the batting of an eye.

  Hortensia also lives at Mill Ruins. She’s in another outbuilding. All are well constructed and all but the big hay sheds have doors that close, which is wonderful in bad weather.

  THE BIRDS

  Athena, the great horned owl, is two-and-a-half-feet tall with a four-foot wingspan. She has many places where she will hole up but her true nest is in Pattypan Forge. It really beats being in a tree hollow. She’s gotten spoiled.

  Bitsy is eight-and-a-half-inches tall with a twenty-inch wingspan. Her considerable lungs make up for her tiny size as she is a screech owl, aptly named. Like Athena, she’ll never live in a tree again because she’s living in the rafters of Sister’s stable. Mice come in to eat the fallen grain. Bitsy feels like she’s living in a supermarket.

  St. Just, a foot and a half in height with a surprising wingspan of three feet, is a jet-black crow. He hates foxes but is usually sociable with other birds.

  SISTER’S HOUSE PETS

  Raleigh, a sleek, highly intelligent Doberman, likes to be with Sister. He gets along with the hounds, walks out with them. He tries to get along with the cat, but she’s such a snob.

  Rooster is a Harrier bequeathed to Sister by a dear friend. He likes riding in the car, walking out with hounds, watching everybody and everything. The cat drives him crazy.

  Golliwog, or “Golly,” is a long-haired calico. All other creatures are lower life-forms. She knows Sister does her best, but still. Golly is Queen of All She Surveys.

  SOME USEFUL TERMS

  Away. A fox has gone away when he has left the covert. Hounds are away when they have left the covert on the line of the fox.

  Brush. The fox’s tail.

  Burning scent. Scent so strong or hot that hounds pursue the line without hesitation.

  Bye day. A day not regularly on the fixture card.

  Cap. The fee nonmembers pay to hunt for that day’s sport.

  Carry a good head. When hounds run well together to a good scent, a scent spread wide enough for the whole pack to feel it.

  Carry a line. When hounds follow the scent. This is also called working a line.

  Cast. Hounds spread out in search of scent. They may cast themselves or be cast by the huntsman.

  Charlie. A term for a fox. A fox may also be called Reynard.

  Check. When hounds lose the scent and stop. The field must wait quietly while the hounds search for the scent.

  Colors. A distinguishing color, usually worn on the collar but sometimes on the facings of a coat, that identifies a hunt. Colors can be awarded only by the Master and can be worn only in the field.

  Coop. A jump resembling a chicken coop.

  Couple straps. Two-strap hound collars connected by a swivel link. Some members of staff will carry these on the right rear of the saddle. Since the days of the pharaohs in ancient Egypt, hounds have been brought to the meets coupled. Hounds are always spoken of and counted in couples. Today, hounds walk or are driven to the meets. Rarely, if ever, are they coupled, but a whipper-in still carries couple straps should a hound need assistance.

  Covert. A patch of woods or bushes where a fox might hide. Pronounced “cover.”

 
Cry. How one hound tells another what is happening. The sound will differ according to the various stages of the chase. It’s also called giving tongue and should occur when a hound is working a line.

  Cub hunting. The informal hunting of young foxes in the late summer and early fall, before formal hunting. The main purpose is to enter young hounds into the pack. Until recently only the most knowledgeable members were invited to cub hunt, since they would not interfere with young hounds.

  Dog fox. The male fox.

  Dog hound. The male hound.

  Double. A series of short sharp notes blown on the horn to alert all that a fox is afoot. The gone away series of notes is a form of doubling the horn.

  Draft. To acquire hounds from another hunt is to accept a draft.

  Draw. The plan by which a fox is hunted or searched for in a certain area, such as a covert.

  Draw over the fox. Hounds go through a covert where the fox is but cannot pick up his scent. The only creature who understands how this is possible is the fox.

  Drive. The desire to push the fox, to get up with the line. It’s a very desirable trait in hounds, so long as they remain obedient.

  Dually. A one-ton pickup truck with double wheels in back.

  Dwell. To hunt without getting forward. A hound who dwells is a bit of a putterer.

  Enter. Hounds are entered into the pack when they first hunt, usually during cubbing season.

  Field. The group of people riding to hounds, exclusive of the Master and hunt staff.

 

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