Hart Attack

by Cristin Harber

  “I assumed she did.”

  Beth’s eyebrows pinched together. “What do you expect from me?”

  “They’re friends. That’s all, Jared,” Nicola volunteered.

  Yeah, what Nicola said. Except Beth’s throat was in knots, and she couldn’t say anything at all.

  Jared glared. “Get your ass up and in there, so he doesn’t wake up alone.”

  “He’s not alone. He’s got you, Nic, and the team of guys that have been running in and out of this hospital scaring the crap out of every nurse and doctor here.”

  Jared shook his head slowly. “Didn’t take you for the dense type. It’s not my face that the guy wants to see.”

  What? It wasn’t hers either. “Jared—”

  “Get in there and stay. Simple.”

  She rolled her lips together to keep the “yes, sir” response to herself. But still, she stood and whispered, “Fine.”

  What would she even say if he woke up while she was in there? Their last less-than-friendly encounter hadn’t gone well, and she didn’t know if it should be addressed or ignored.

  Beth dragged her feet on the way to Roman’s room. Around her, nurses shuffled by, and other visitors checked on family and friends without a tenth of the dread she could feel painted on her face. But it wasn’t just their last run-in. It wasn’t even the kiss that she’d run from. It was so much more, which had always been her problem with Roman. More with him wasn’t fair with her past. It wasn’t even… possible.

  “Beth,” Nicola called from behind her as Beth opened the door to Roman’s room.

  The curtain was still drawn, and most of the lights were off. She didn’t want to go in. Couldn’t go in. Thrilled for an excuse to turn around, Beth pivoted, trying for a casual look.

  Nicola’s scrutinizing face said that Beth failed.

  “What’s up?”

  “If you…” Nicola stepped through the door with Beth and let the sentence linger as though Nicola reached for a something that couldn’t be put into words. They stood awkwardly in the tiny space between the door and the curtain until Nicola sighed. “If this is too much, Beth, then you really don’t have to. Jared’s a jerk. You know that.”

  It was too much. Beth crossed her arms over her chest and waited for Nicola to come closer. She did, then threw an arm around Beth. They stayed there for a minute. None of this made sense. The dread. The cold fear at Roman lying unconscious. Even at Nicola comforting her when it should be Beth comforting Nicola. It wasn’t Beth’s husband or brother.

  Nicola hugged her tighter. “I really shouldn’t have asked you to bring me here.”

  Beth’s brow furrowed, then she stepped back. “Of course you should have.”

  “I mean… like it or not, Roman in your head is on caliber with—”

  Beth’s heart stopped. Confirmation that Nicola never forgot, even when they hadn’t talked about it in years. “Don’t say that.”

  “You two have a connection.”

  Beth shook her head. “No way. No.”

  “Don’t be like that. You never, ever have a thing for anyone. That’s part of your charm. Part of why you do your job well. And part of the reason I’m always pushing you two together. I want that for you.”

  It was that second when Beth grasped what had been happening. If she was ever going to replace Logan—Logan who’d left a gaping hole in her very existence—it wouldn’t be terrible if Roman filled that spot and soothed that ache. And thinking that made her a traitorous, abandoning wife. Or… widow. Whatever she was called. “You’re wrong.”

  “You care about him,” Nicola prodded.

  No, this conversation really couldn’t be happening. “He’s a friend by default because he’s your brother. He’s… around. That’s it.”

  “He makes you smile.”

  Beth couldn’t look at her. “Everyone makes me smile.”

  “He makes you run, and no one makes you run.”

  “Shut up, Nic.”

  Nicola stepped closer, whispering, “When’s the last time you really cared for someone… besides—”

  “Don’t you dare.” Beth grounded her molars together. “Stop, Nic. You’re wrong.” But she wasn’t. Shit. Shit! Tears welled just like they had when had Roman kissed her and Beth’s heart stopped, in shock that her dried-up, turned-to-stone heart beat wildly, announcing the heat, desire, and a lusty longing that ricocheted from limb to limb.

  “You know, you can like another guy. Logan won’t fault you—”

  The tears spilled from Beth’s eyes. “Of course he wouldn’t. That’s not it. None of this is it. Just back off.”

  But yes, Logan would fault her. He wouldn’t have died if she had just opened her eyes, tried harder, loved better, been a better wife.

  Damn it. Her throat felt like it was bleeding. Her stomach ached at all the lost possibilities that their life could’ve been. A family and babies and the PTA and bake sales. Whatever normal people with perfect husbands did with their all-American lives. Fuck. Fuck, she couldn’t think about the loss. Focusing on the future, the CIA, and living only in the present moment were the only things she could do.

  “Beth, then what is it—”

  Too late. Memories and regret were the worst. Way past the nightmares. Once she thought about them, they wouldn’t stop. Beth broke free of Nicola’s inquisition. She rushed down the hall, ignoring Nicola calling after her and people’s stares as she ended up running the last few feet and slapping the elevator call button over and over again.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Eyes still closed, Roman felt like an eavesdropper in his own room. This time when he’d awakened, two crystal-clear voices pulled him from the fog and confirmed he wasn’t dead or in hell. If he really had been dead, his aching body would’ve continued to ache when he heard Beth. But it didn’t. An absurd amount of energy, maybe even anticipation, coursed through him, knowing that Beth would be in there soon. But then that conversation he’d partially overheard? And Beth leaving again? Running away from him again? That he felt in his gut, and it sucked. It also raised a couple major red flags. Maybe he didn’t know everything there was about the girl who made him wish he could let someone in.

  Nicola pushed past the curtain and walked in. Her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed when she saw him awake. “Hi. How are you?” Her fingers twisted together. “Been up long?”

  He sighed, not wanting to answer, and instead shifted, looking for the remote that would raise his bed. “Got a headache that’d rival a mortar hit to the dome. But nothing that won’t heal.” The doc had been in and made Roman swear up and down that he’d take it easy. That brain trauma was like a bruise. Some worse than others, but it still had to heal.

  She sat on the edge of his bed. “Glad you’re okay.”

  “What just happened there?” he asked. “With Beth.”

  “Hmm? Nothing.” She reached for the remote and turned on the television. Roman put his hand on his sister’s forearm, and she started furiously flipping through channels as soon as the screen lit.

  “Nic?”

  “Are you feeling a movie? Or something—”

  “Nicola?”

  She looked at him, all her guilt hidden from the world, except he knew his sister down to the tiniest micro-emotion.

  “What was that conversation with Beth?”

  Nic fidgeted, eyes darting around the room. “She was here but had to go.”

  “I heard.”

  She winced. “It’s not—”

  Montana popped his head in the room. “Roman?”

  Roman squeezed her arm then let go. “Don’t worry about it.” Because he wouldn’t. Beth was too much work to figure out, and he didn’t want a woman that would kiss him, then sleep with another guy. If that made him an asshole, so be it. No one would be shocked. It wasn’t like he wanted to care for another person. He had the team, his family. That was all he was capable of.

  “Hey.” He angled his head toward Montana. “Nic was just about to
tell me how Cash is.”

  The guy grabbed a chair and hung back. Roman needed to say thanks for getting him and Cash the hell home. That was legendary stuff, the kind that made a debt owed forever.

  Nicola sighed. “He’s in, he’s out. Concussion. Mostly just resting, sleeping it off. Strict orders for recovery after he’s checked out. So a little worse than you, but not by much. I hate that you were both hurt.”

  “Nothing that won’t heal, like I said.”

  “You two aren’t invincible.” She scowled. “Neither are you, Montana.”

  The kid grinned. “Didn’t say I was. Just hanging out.”

  Roman scoffed, which made him cough, confirming that his ribs were bruised. “But we are the closest thing to it.”

  Nicola shook her head, mumbling, “Cocky.”

  “But he’s been up?”

  She nodded. “A little bit. You both slept through all kinds of tests. The doc will update you, but you’re probably benched for a while.”

  He laughed, already having had the speech from Titan’s doc in addition to the rotating hospital doctors. But why tell that to Nicola? She’d only try to keep him there longer, just in case. “We’ll see.”

  A knock, then a nurse walked in. She checked his vitals. “Dr. Tuska will be back this afternoon if you need to talk to him again.”

  “Again?” Nicola asked.

  The nurse looked sideways then went back to Roman. “If you need to speak with him sooner, let me know.”

  He shrugged, and his muscles complained. “Whenever is fine. So long as he gives me a hall pass to go home.”

  The nurse laughed and looked at Nicola. “You called it.”

  “Yeah.” She turned to Roman. “Much to the concern of Mom. Dad didn’t seem too fazed by my prediction, but Mom…” She shook her head. “You know her rule.”

  Mom’s rule: He and Nicola could do whatever they wanted, as long as no one got hurt.

  Damn. He didn’t want his folks to see him like this, most certainly not his mom. She’d dealt with too much stress over the years. Not that she was weak, but why add on more when she’d suffered so much over Nicola? “You know better than to let Mom show up at hospitals.”

  Nicola shrugged. “Not much I could do.”

  Inside, Roman grumbled, majorly irritated that Nicola didn’t see how inconsiderate it was to loop their mom into his injuries. He didn’t want Mom worried, especially if he was knocked out and couldn’t comfort her. “Next time, leave Mom out of it.”

  “Next time? No next time, Roman. You guys can’t keep tempting fate. Don’t assume there’s a next time.”

  His irritation was growing. First Beth talked crazy and ran out when he really wanted to at least see her. Then it was Nicola’s turn to talk crazy. Shit.

  The nurse tinkered with the machinery, reading his vitals. “Are you doing okay?”

  He looked at her. “What?”

  “Your blood pressure is rising.”

  Of course it was. He took a deep breath. But no, he wasn’t okay. He was annoyed and irrational and ready to tear into Nicola for being so cavalier with other people’s feelings. Didn’t she understand that having loved ones love them was… complicated? “Mom should be kept in the dark.”

  Nicola rolled her eyes. “Right.”

  “I’m—”

  Jared walked through the door. “Princess, your lesser half is waking again. Go say hello. Montana, keep our boy company. He can think of ways to say thanks for saving his life.”

  Nicola’s smile could’ve made sunshine look gloomy. She turned with a quick wave goodbye. For all the apprehension Roman had ever had about her and Cash, his best bud was the right guy for her. How he’d missed it for so long, Roman had no idea. But they worked. Yin and yang and all that crap.

  Nicola looked over her shoulder at the door. “Just call her, Roman. Whatever you two have, it’s special.”

  Nothing he’d ever had was special. The word made him uncomfortable. Jared rolled his eyes and made a noise from his perch against the wall.

  Nicola ignored both of their grumblings. “Call her.”

  “If for no other reason than to get you off my back, I might.”

  She smiled over her shoulder and took off, leaving Boss Man to glare at him.

  “What?”

  Jared rubbed his chin. “Doc Tuska said you can get out of here if you want. He’ll want to talk to you this afternoon, but expect to be cut loose.”

  “Yeah? Nice.”

  “Your discharge instructions say something like don’t base jump or head into rapid-fire target practice for a few days.”

  “Do they now?” Roman chuckled.

  “Think you can handle that?”

  He nodded, feeling there was an unspoken catch. “Think so.”

  Just call Beth. Nicola’s request wouldn’t leave him alone. He could leave, then he’d get a good ’script out of it and could veg on the couch with the TV on. That way he wouldn’t have to think about the girl who had moved into his brain without permission.

  Nicola’s words infiltrated also. What was that piece of advice she’d just given Beth? You can like another guy. No one would fault you.

  Another guy? Faulting her? What was that? Whatever it was, Beth was upset, and that had something to do with him.

  His gut churned, and he scrubbed his face, wanting out of the hospital and to take a hot shower. Then a dose of painkillers and to go sleep in front of the television. Not his bed. That way, he wouldn’t have delusional thoughts about her warm body to hold close. Maybe he’d take Nicola’s advice and call Beth. Or maybe not.

  “You need a ride out of here?” Montana asked.

  “Sure as hell do.” And decision made. He wouldn’t call Beth. Or maybe he would.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Greg sniffed twice, embracing the racing, rushing blast as the coke hit his system. He loved high-quality blow. Evan had a great hook-up, straight from a cartel friend they both did business with.

  A butter-soft leather chair held him as he rocked back and forth. He needed a little more, so he ran his thumb over the mirrored tray then rubbed his bottom gum, letting his mouth water over the powder remnants he hadn’t inhaled.

  “Good?” Evan asked, sitting across Greg’s massive desk.

  He rolled his shoulders back. “Very nice.”

  “Smooth.”

  “Absolutely.” Greg sucked in his bottom lip, wanting a hint more, then thought of another something he wanted. Maybe just as badly. “Let’s talk about Beth Tourne.”

  Evan smiled. “Elizabeth.”

  “Probably does not partake?”

  “I think she’d do just about whatever you want her to.”

  Greg scowled. “I hope not. That’s part of her appeal. She doesn’t seem to care what I want. She’s… very much an individual. Smart. I like her.”

  Evan pulled back the tray and diced out a line. A quick bend, snort, and an eyes-closed cocaine smile pulled tight on his lips. After a few seconds, his eyes opened with a head shudder. “Then I’m glad I introduced you.”

  “It seems you have the hook-up on everything I have a desire for. What’s it going to take for more access to this?” And maybe more information on Beth. But even in his hopped-up euphoria, Greg held back his interest.

  She might not like him, or maybe just a little. But he liked that. She was a challenge. So real and of such a high caliber.

  Evan cleared his throat. “I need in on another deal. You’ll get more of this, plus your standard percentage. But I have to make more.”

  Greg kept his knowing response to himself. Evan was having a much harder time keeping up with his nose candy habit than he wanted to let on. But Greg did Evan’s books. He knew exactly how much money was coming in and going out. The man was snorting a couple hundred thousand dollars’ worth of high-end product on an annual basis.

  Greg tapped his fingers on the desk, embracing the jittery need for just one more line. “I have clients who have something v
ery big in the pipeline.”

  “I want very big.” Evan nodded greedily.

  “It’s about as big as it comes. Might stain your moral turpitude.”

  “I have no moral turpitude. Like you.”

  How true that was. Greg loved his money and investments. He also thoroughly enjoyed women, particularly the likes of Beth. He pushed the tray back, declining another hit as Evan offered. Maybe he’d tamp down some things—like blow—and see if Beth was a good fit as a new… hobby.

  The tingle in his chest was more than drugs. It was the excitement of her accompanying him to Abu Dhabi. Knowing he’d have to slow the drugs was fine if that meant he could keep her around, almost like a pet. Yes, Beth was something he wanted to call his, if nothing else because his addiction to collecting things was stronger than his addiction to cocaine.

  ***

  It’d been a week since Beth had run out of the hospital after Nicola had gotten into her head. It’d also been a week of texting and chatting with Greg. He was exactly what she needed, a meaningless person to work over, someone she could focus on, learn about, and extract information from.

  Evan, her handler, had been thrilled at her quickly building closeness with Greg, and truth be told, Greg was an all-right guy. His file said he was a piece of shit, but nothing Beth had come across suggested that.

  The last few days of predictable normalcy had been exactly what she wanted. What she needed.

  It was Saturday morning, and she lounged in bed, pillow over her head and phone in hand. Greg had texted good morning and said he had news for later. Later was a great idea because now she could drift in and out of sleep, relaxing. Her phone buzzed, and she answered the call, putting Greg to her ear without opening her eyes.

  “Your definition of later is skewed. I’d call that five minutes.” Her voice was sleep drenched, but knowing what she did about him, that probably worked in her favor. He might’ve developed an interesting crush on her, but it was more her indifference to his money and power that he liked. She just didn’t think he realized it yet.

  “What are you talking about?” Roman’s voice rushed over her senses, making her ache before he had two words out.