by Diana Currie
Ally yawned, “Rachel, can you take me home now, please?”
“Already?”
“I’m sleepy,” she replied pouting.
“I’ll take you home, tater tot,” Ethan said.
“Thank you, Ethan. What a gentleman!” Ally chirped.
“Any excuse to drive Rach’s BMW.” He winked at her and held his hand out for the keys. “I’ll drop her off and come back, babe,” he whispered in Rachel’s ear. She mouthed a “thank you” to him and pecked him on the lips. They were so sweet it was almost sickening.
When Ally left I slipped off Aiden’s lap and took her chair. Shane was staring off into space it seemed. Rachel was trying to get his attention but he ignored her, so she got up to get herself another virgin margarita. Aiden was in the middle of telling Keith a story about Ron that had them both cackling when Shane turned to me to speak.
“Dance with me, Hannah,” he said like a command instead of a request. My eyes shifted to Aiden and I discretely shook my head. Shane reached across the table and rubbed his fingers across the back of my hand. “I need to talk to you. Dance with me,” he repeated in his sensual velvety voice.
Aiden took notice of our exchange and said, “Hannah doesn’t like dancing.”
“What, do you speak for her now?” Shane said harshly, removing his hand from mine.
“If she’s going to dance with anyone it’ll be with me,” Aiden spat in the same dark tone.
“Excuse me, you two, but I’m sitting right here. Shane, thank you for the offer but I don’t feel like dancing right now,” I said impartially.
I hoped that would be the end of it but Aiden spoke up again. “What makes you think it would be okay for you to dance with my girlfriend anyway?”
“She’s never turned me down before,” Shane replied suggestively.
“Okay, that’s it. You!” I pointed my finger at Shane. “If you need to talk to me about what happened with Julie I’d be more than happy to listen, but not on the dance floor. Do not instigate with my boyfriend because you’re in a pissy mood. And you!” I pointed to Aiden. “Thank you for defending me but I can take care of myself. You need to trust me.” I took a deep breath and continued. “You both better figure out how to be around each other or we’re all going to be miserable.” I folded my arms over my chest and leaned back in the chair.
Rachel came back with her drink and noticed that everyone was silent and scowling. “Whoa, what did I miss?”
“Nothing,” I snapped. I knew she could tell from all our expressions that it was something. The tension exuding from all of us was hard to miss.
I looked at Aiden and said, “Stay here. I’ll be right back, okay?”
He didn’t want to let me go, I could tell, but nodded his head in agreement. I grabbed Shane’s wrist and yanked him out of his seat. My hand didn’t let go of his wrist until we were safely in the far corner of the bar. I felt as though I was dragging a naughty child from a department store.
“Talk to me,” I said in an aggravated tone once I turned around to look into his striking blue eyes.
“I’m sorry. That guy just rubs me the wrong way,” he answered.
“Aiden is the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. You’re just being difficult because something else is bothering you.”
Shane crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. “That’s not what it is. I got the same feeling about him last year. When he kissed you outside your house.”
“How could I forget… the next morning you grilled me for details the same way you would have done had it been Ally,” I replied. I was starting to get pissed off.
Shane tightened his arms and looked down at the floor. His lips pressed together as though he was trying to keep from saying something he’d regret.
“Shane, please don’t tell me that after all we’ve been through this past year that you still look at me like a sister…” I said letting out a long sigh.
“You’re a lot of different things to me, Hanny. Since high school I’ve felt like you were my family, like a sister. But you’re also a beautiful girl. And you’re my best friend. No one understands me the way you do. The girls here, they only see what’s on the outside. None of them want to discuss literature, or religion, or family matters with me.”
“What does that have to do with you being a dick to Aiden tonight?” I asked confused.
“I’m trying to say that it scares me to think that you might start acting the way all the other girls do around me. I don’t want to lose what was different and special about us. I worry the male/female thing could ruin our friendship if we ever opened that door, you know?”
I didn’t know how to respond to that. Had he started noticing a difference? I thought I’d played it pretty cool ever since the night we slept together. Maybe playing it cool was the problem because neither of us was being honest with our emotions.
“Well you have nothing to worry about then,” I said calmly, “because the issue is moot since we’re both dating other people, right? I thought we were doing pretty well with just being friends recently...”
He didn’t look like he agreed with that statement. “It’s harder for me to see you with him than I expected,” he admitted. “But that’s not your fault. I’m sorry.”
“Do you want to tell me about Julie?” I asked.
He shook his head adamantly.
“Okay, another time. Let’s not freak Aiden out any more than we already have and just go try to enjoy our last night before we all go home, okay?”
Shane nodded slowly and followed me back to the table. Aiden was watching me intently as we approached and I quickly sank back into my seat beside him.
“It’s getting late. I’m going to head out,” Shane announced.
I furrowed my eyebrows at him and frowned. I was hoping he might apologize to Aiden for the way he’d behaved but instead he was just going to flee.
Rachel set her drink on the table in front of me. “Come on, Shane. I’ll walk with you. Hanny, can you call Ethan and tell him to pick me up at the dorms?”
I nodded. Shane didn’t argue with her and no one spoke until they had left. I put my hand over Aiden’s so he would know I wasn’t angry with him anymore.
“What a jackass,” Keith mumbled. Aiden snickered.
“Maybe we should get going too,” I said. “Keith, you wanna ride home with us?”
“Nah, I better make sure Ron’s okay. I’m his wingman,” he winked.
The ride home was an awkward silence. I told Aiden I wanted to stay at his place that night and he didn’t complain. I knew Keith would be coming back at some point but he was used to me sharing Aiden’s tiny bed once in a while. I had a modest pair of pajamas in their room and I wasn’t in the mood to do anything with Aiden but sleep. I didn’t want to be at my house when Rachel returned. There’s no doubt in my mind that she tried to get Shane to talk on their walk home. If he told her anything Rachel would make sure to fill me in. I just wouldn’t be ready for it until morning.
*~*
Aiden was still holding me tightly when I woke Saturday around eight o’clock. I needed to be ready to leave for Pittsgrove at ten so I gently released myself from his grasp and made my way to the bathroom. When I returned Aiden was awake.
“Are we okay?” Aiden asked concerned.
I nodded and came back to his side, kissing him sweetly. “Yes, we’re okay.”
He smiled sleepily and rolled over. “Aiden, sweetie, I need to get home to shower and change. I don’t doubt Rachel would leave without me if I weren’t ready in time.”
He stood up behind me kissing my neck, snaking his hands around my waist, and slipping them under the elastic of my pajama bottoms.
“Aiden!” I protested and swatted his hand away playfully. He gave up and made his way to the bathroom as I turned to look at Keith; sleeping in his bed on the other side of the room. He had a stupid grin on his face that told me he wasn’t sleeping either.
“Don’t say a word,
Keith,” I grumbled.
Aiden dropped me off in front of the house and it took us a few minutes of kissing to finally say goodbye. I was going to miss him. There were times here at school when we were both busy and didn’t get to see one another for a few days, but it felt like this separation was going to be harder.
Rachel had the car packed by ten and was tapping her foot by the door at 10:01. I grabbed my bag from my room and glanced around to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything. I reached behind the night stand and grabbed my cell phone charger. Okay, ready.
Rachel was unusually quiet in the car and still hadn’t spoken to me by the time we hit I-95. It was beginning to get on my nerves. I didn’t expect to have to ask her directly about Shane and Julie’s argument. She’d always been more than forthcoming with gossip in the past.
“You’re killing me, Rachel,” I blurted. “He must have told you something last night. Out with it!”
“Tsk, Tsk, Hannah. I never would have taken you for such a Nosey Nancy,” she teased.
I groaned and looked out the window as the trees passed by at least 80mph. Did any of my friends obey speed restrictions? I checked the crash reflex of my seatbelt. It seemed to be in working order.
“Alright, alright, I’ll tell you. Stop twisting my arm,” Rachel said a few minutes later. “They were fighting because Julie didn’t want to be at the bar last night. She apparently doesn’t like hanging out with us. And by us I mean you.”
“I don’t understand why. I’ve never done anything but respect their relationship. She has no right to treat me so badly. I’m just his friend,” I huffed.
“Hannah, you have to think about this from Julie’s perspective for a minute. Here she is with this attractive, kind, decent guy and she’s afraid of losing him. You’re her prime competition.”
I snorted. Yeah, sure, Rachel.
“Shane told me last night that Julie feels threatened by you.”
“She does?”
“Think of it this way, Hanny. If you were Shane’s ex-girlfriend then it might be weird for her to hang out with you but she’d know that you and Shane had your shot and it didn’t work out. The fact that you’ve never actually dated him means there’s still sexual tension between you two. Julie’s stuck watching you two make eyes at each other… and please don’t try to tell me that you don’t do that because you do… waiting for one of you to pull your head out of the sand.”
I thought about what she said for a couple minutes and then replied, “She saw me there with Aiden. She knows I have someone.”
“Sweetie, you had two someone’s there last night. I’m surprised they didn’t whip their dicks out and try to pee all around you.”
I ignored that. “Did Shane say anything about Aiden on the walk home?”
She shrugged “Just that he doesn’t think Aiden is good enough for you.”
No surprise there. I felt like there was something Rachel was holding back but I didn’t push it. I was lost in thought, my mind whirling around Rachel’s theory that Shane and I had yet to have our chance. I didn’t want to think about that. I was in the middle of exploring my chance with Aiden and I wanted to see it through. Another fifteen minutes passed before either of us spoke again. Finally, Rachel cleared her throat.
“Shane was really upset when we left.”
“Thank you for making sure he was okay, Rachel.”
“I don’t know how you expect me to help you when you aren’t honest with me,” she snapped. “I thought you, Ally, and me were close like sisters. That we didn’t have any secrets.”
“We are. And we don’t,” I replied, not sure where she was going.
“Then when were you planning on telling me that you and Shane fucked last semester?”
Shiiiiit.
“How did you know that?” I asked defensively.
“It was a hunch I had after you told me something happened between you two. You just confirmed it for me,” she said, sounding quite pleased with her master trickery.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you it’s just that I was embarrassed. It only happened once and we were sort of drunk at the time. I didn’t want Ally finding out. We agreed it didn’t mean anything,” I rambled.
“Hannah, how dumb are you? Of course it meant something. Shane has been acting strange for months and now it finally makes sense.”
“You think he’s been acting strange?” I asked.
“You’re Shane’s best friend, Hannah. How could you think having sex together would ever be meaningless? How did it even happen?”
And so I spent the remainder of our trip giving Rachel the whole story. I told her about Ally’s party. About the poker game. About how Shane didn’t want me to lose my virginity to just anyone. About the awkward morning after. And most importantly, about how Shane seemed to have no problem going back to the way things were pre-coitus.
“Oh, Hannah. You and Shane are so retarded for each other,” she chuckled. “Julie is right to feel threatened by you.”
CHAPTER 22: MIXED FEELINGS
I wasn’t there for the baby reveal but Ally assured me all had gone better than she hoped. She called me later that night to give me the good news that her parents hadn’t gotten horribly upset with her announcement. Elise was tipped off that something was wrong when Ally walked through the front door and refused to take off her coat. Ally cried on the phone as she described her parents’ faces when Jack wrapped his arm around her and unzipped her jacket. Colin did shout at Jack at first for knocking up his daughter. Ally said it was the hardest thing she’s ever done, to admit to her parents she made such a big mistake, and then listen to her father berate her boyfriend. After Colin got that out of his system Shane stepped in and explained to their parents how great Jack’s been and how mature they’ve been in handling the situation. Ally said Shane’s support really made a difference. Of course it would, he was the golden child.
We’d all been worried about Elise’s reaction but Ally said once the initial shock wore off she flooded her with questions about the due date, the gender, and so on. She was already acting the part of the proud Nana. Colin insisted Ally go to the hospital while she was home and have an obstetrician friend of his give her an exam. She’d been to the doctor in Newark but she wasn’t about to argue with her father wanting to provide her more care. Jack informed the Decker’s of his intentions to leave Stanford and transfer to University of Delaware in the fall. Colin gave them a little speech on the importance of continuing their educations which they had both agreed to do anyway.
I, on the other hand, spent the first two days in Pittsgrove cleaning up after my father. The house was a mess without me and I made a point to show him my efforts towards a true spring cleaning. I understood he was a bachelor, but it was bad. We watched a Phillies game together and he was blown away in my new interest in baseball. He was practically beaming every time I yelled at the TV. I don’t think he’d ever been so proud of me. Lenny and I are not big talkers, tending to keep our emotions to ourselves, but when I saw how excited he was about my interest in baseball I started telling him about Aiden. Talking about a guy was definitely new territory for us so I kept the details to a minimum. I told him how much fun I’d had at Citizen’s Bank Park and what a huge fan Aiden was of the team. Dad seemed amused by my chattering on and on and even said he’d like to meet the boy who got his little Hanny interested in sports.
I called Aiden that night and we talked for over an hour. Mostly we discussed trivial details of our vacations. He was spending time with this family who rarely got together anymore. He was so happy to have his brother and sister back home for a time. His brother Jonathan had moved to Pittsburg for college and stayed there after graduation. I vented a little about how much of a slob my father was becoming and Aiden laughed at me. He joked around about what a mess his own house was and that I’d keel over if I saw it.
“Thanks, Aiden. Now I won’t be able to sleep tonight,” I replied poking fun at my own idiosyncrasy.
&n
bsp; His voice turned husky over the phone and said, “I know how I can help you sleep, Hannah.”
We proceeded to have the first phone sex I’d ever experienced. He talked dirty to me and described how he was stroking himself to the sound of my voice. I felt self conscious trying to think of dirty things to say so I settled on describing my panties and how he was making me feel. All I can say is “wow”. I was really starting to like this whole boyfriend thing.
Tuesday I had lunch plans with Mark and Jessa. The next night I went into Vineland with Andrea and Steve to see a movie. Once we were there I really wished I’d asked Aiden to come meet us. Andrea and her boyfriend hadn’t seen each other in months and they were all over each other in the theater. I was happy for them that the long distance and open relationship they were engaged in didn’t seem to be affecting their commitment to one another. But I didn’t need to see that. I was definitely feeling like a third wheel. And so I did something stupid. Really stupid. I texted Shane a 911.
Sup, friend? What are you doing? – H
I turned my attention back to the movie and tried to ignore the grope fest to my right. Shane sent me a message just a few minutes later.
Teaching Casey some piano basics. You? – S
Sending you an SOS. At movies with Andrea & Steve. Their make out session is gonna make it into Guinness. – H
LOL so you need saving? – S
Do you mind? We’re supposed to have dinner after this. Help! – H
When does movie end? – S
Another hour at least. Plenty of time… I know how you drive ;-) – H
Har har. Meet you in the lobby in 45 – S
I put down my phone and tried to concentrate on the movie. It occurred to me that I was asking a huge favor of Shane to drive all the way to Vineland to hang out with me and the happy couple. I could hardly thank him by making him drive back to Pittsgrove alone at the end of the night, which meant I just signed myself up for a long drive home alone in the car with Shane. Super. Good thinking Hannah!