Cupcake Love

by Diana Currie

  “You’ve wanted NYU for so long. Would you really change your plans for me?” I asked still overwhelmed by his admissions.

  “Hanny, you are my plans.” he smirked. I bet he thought my insecurities were endearing. “I love you and I want to be with you forever. I’m not moving away unless you’re coming with me because someday I want a marriage, a house, kids, all of that with you.”

  I knew Shane wanted to get married and have kids in the future. The idea that he wanted those things with me still seemed too good to be true. I could feel the smile spreading across my face.

  “I want that too, Shane. And I wouldn’t mind moving to a big city for a few years while you finished school but afterwards I really want to settle back in New Jersey so we can be near our families,” I said.

  “Do you have somewhere in mind? Is New York too far from home?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “No, I don’t have anywhere in mind. New York is probably the best place for me to find a job in publishing. And at least we’d know Andrea and Steve here. If NYU is what you want then I think we should do it.”

  “Can you be happy here? I know this city can be very overwhelming.”

  The way Shane was talking about “forever”, getting married and having kids, made me so happy he could have told me we were moving to Wyoming and I would have been fine with it.

  “It will take a little getting used to I’m sure, but as long as I’m with you I’ll be happy,” I assured him.

  Shane pulled me closer until we were lying on our sides facing each other. His smile was blinding.

  “Thank you, Hannah,” he whispered kissing my forehead. “And when I graduate we’ll move wherever you want; to Philadelphia or Pittsgrove so our kids can grow up near their grandparents and cousin Adam.”

  “You think a lot about us having kids?” I asked incredulously.

  He chuckled lightly. “I hope that doesn’t scare you. I want a big house with a couple kids running around. I thought we’d have a few of our own and then maybe become foster parents like Elise and Colin. Perhaps even adopt one if it felt right. Now are you scared?” he asked sincerely.

  “You don’t scare me, Shane. Not you or your beautiful plans for us.” I snuggled into his chest so I could breathe in his scent and feel his warmth against my face. “How many kids do you see us having?” I asked. I couldn’t see his face anymore so I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of his arms around me.

  “Two or three maybe. I’d give you as many babies as you wanted.”

  I smiled and held him tighter. “I think I want a big family. I never liked being an only child,” I replied.

  Shane hummed in agreement and I could feel his fingers playing with my hair. “So you are really okay with me applying to NYU? You would come live with me and find a job here?” he asked.

  He kissed my head and I exhaled slowly, relaxing in his embrace. “Yes, Shane. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I’ll be happy wherever I am as long as it’s with you.”

  *~*

  The next day Andrea walked us all over the city. She insisted on providing us with the full New York experience. We went to Times Square, the Museum of Natural History, and Central Park. My favorite part of the day was the museum. I think I most enjoyed walking through the halls of the Egyptian mummies and the dinosaur bones. I was awed by the presence of so many ancient artifacts. Shane, on the other hand, was far more awed by me.

  We had been interrupted by Andrea that morning at promptly 8am in the middle of some seriously intense fondling. I called out through the door that our alarm never went off and we were just waking up, meanwhile Shane’s fingers were doing naughty things to me. The excuse satisfied Andrea but left Shane and I severely lacking in our own satisfaction. Every time Shane got me alone he’d start groping me or whispering dirty words in my ear. The picture Steve took of us in Times Square may look like Shane’s arm is around my waist but I can assure you it was securely clenching my ass. And in the museum… oh poor Homo habilis witnessed my boyfriend dry hump me in his mud hut.

  Shane couldn’t keep his hands off me all day. Not that I’m complaining. I’ve waited a very long time for him to react that way to my presence and even though I outwardly protested his advances I’m sure Shane knew just how much I loved it. Especially the impromptu make our session behind the cabbage patch dolls at FAO Schwartz. Needless to say I was a quivering mess by the time we finished dinner at Café Daniello’s and returned to the Columbia dorms. Shane has never broken a promise he’d made me and that evening was no exception.

  Andrea was practically in tears when it was time to say goodbye. I came very close to telling her that Shane and I might be moving to the city after graduation. I bite my tongue since the development was so new and Shane hadn’t actually been accepted to NYU yet. She and Steve were coming home to visit her parents in August and I promised her we’d get to hang out then. It had been a long couple of days and I was eager to get back to life in Delaware. Shane took my hand on the train before I even had to ask for it and I tried my best to relax during the ride home.

  Shane woke me just as the train pulled into the Newark Amtrak station. “We’re almost home,” he said kissing the side of my face.

  I smiled at him and shook my head. “My home is sitting right next to me.”

  CHAPTER 35: SECRETS AND LIES

  When Shane and I returned to Newark the UD campus was a ghost town. Everyone had left for the summer and now the usually bustling campus streets and restaurants were practically empty. Even the overachievers taking summer courses would be absent until courses resumed in late May. Rachel had gone home with Ethan, although he would have to return in a few weeks for football. This time around, Rachel was joining him. It made me smile to think how far they had come; how far we all have come really. For some reason Shane insisted we stay at the house another few days before returning to Pittsgrove. He said he wanted us to have a little more alone time before we had to move back in with our parents for the next three months. After spending every single night curled up in his arms I could see where he was coming from. I didn't think I even could sleep without him next to me anymore.

  I woke up the morning after our train ride back to Newark with a headache and bad case of jetlag. Can someone even experience jetlag from a train ride? Andrea had woken us up so early and kept us out so late every night that it was more likely that I had a case of Andrea-lag. It felt like night time but the sun was coming up. I rubbed my eyes until they could focus and find the time on my alarm clock. Ugh, 6am. I was still on Andrea time.

  Shane wasn't next to me and I wondered where he had gone. His side of the bed was cold. His side? I smiled at myself at the thought and padded across the room to the hall. I heard the buzz from the television and the sounds of Shane making breakfast. After cleaning myself up a little and brushing my teeth in the bathroom I headed downstairs. Shane surprised me by being showered and dressed, standing in front of the stove making pancakes. Even his hair looked somewhat tamed, like he had taken extra time on it this morning.

  "What's going on?" I mumbled as my body led me straight to the coffee pot on the counter.

  He smiled and kissed the top of my head. "Good morning, baby."

  "Shane, I've never seen you this chipper in the morning. And cooking too? What has gotten into you?" I asked again.

  I took my coffee to the table and sat down. He passed me the milk and sugar before answering.

  "I couldn't sleep. I wanted to make you a nice breakfast since I'm leaving you alone all day."

  "You are?"

  "Yes. I have a few errands to run in the city today and a dentist appointment. Nothing I'd want to bore you with," he replied.

  Shane piled the last batch of pancakes onto a plate and set it in front of me. I was quiet as we ate together; trying to figure out what he was up to. I knew for a fact Shane's dentist was in Pittsgrove. And he'd gone only four months ago over winter break. I was sure of this because I’d been a borderline stalker
for six years. I knew these things.

  So why would he lie? It bothered me the rest of the early morning while I did the dishes from breakfast and then as we watched the morning news together in the living room. I took a shower upstairs and got dressed in comfortable jeans and a t-shirt. What was I supposed to do all day? We were staying on campus this extra time to be alone together. It didn't make sense for him to leave me to run errands.

  "I'll give you a call if I'm running late but I should be home for dinner. Do you want me to pick something up on my way back?" he asked as he was searching for his wallet and keys.

  I held them out for him and replied, "I'll go to the grocery store and buy what we'll need for the next few days, since I have nothing else to do all day."

  He chuckled at the hint of annoyance in my voice. His arms wrapped around me in a warm embrace and he kissed me tenderly on the lips. "Do you love me?" he asked softly.

  "You know the answer to that," I said feeling like he ought to earn it right about now.

  "Tell me," he insisted. His lips nipped at my earlobe and made me giggle.

  "Fine, I love you," I relented.

  "That's my girl. I love you too. Have a good day."

  He kissed my forehead and then left the house. It was only 7:30am. What kind of errands needed to be run before any store was even open? Was he going to the 24 hour Wal-Mart? I tried not to let my imagination run wild while I planned out my grocery list. Once that was done I logged onto my computer and checked my email. I checked to see what my grades were but none of my professors had posted final grades yet. By 8 o'clock I couldn't take it anymore and decided to walk around campus. Maybe the student bookstore or library would be open and I could pass some time there before going food shopping.

  The campus bookstore was open but it felt really eerie being the only one in there. I picked up a Blue Hen Pride coffee mug and a school calendar for the following year. The book list was available for two of my fall literature courses so I jotted down the titles I would need to find and start reading over the summer. They were always cheaper online than in the bookstore so I didn't buy them there. Maybe I'd pick one up at the library if it was open. As I was walking towards the center of campus pondering which assigned book I'd choose to occupy the rest of my afternoon I heard a familiar voice call my name.

  “Hannah!”

  "Aiden? What are you doing here?" He was jogging over to me and stopped only inches from my body engulfing me in a giant hug. He smelled like aftershave and chlorine. He must have been coming from the gym. I smiled at the memories that came rushing back to me. It was really good to see him.

  "I just got back from Illinois and have to meet with my advisor before I can go home. You?"

  "I needed a few things from the bookstore and was going to go over to the library."

  "I'm surprised you're still on campus," he pressed.

  "Yeah, I was visiting my friend Andrea in New York. We just got back last night so I need to pack my things and close up the house before we go home for the summer," I explained.

  "We?" he asked, one eye brow rising as his mouth turned up in an inquisitive smile.

  "Shane and me. He got me Amtrak tickets as my Valentine's present," I confessed.

  I was relieved to see Aiden's expression didn't darken from my confirmation the Shane and I were still together. Maybe it wasn't that much of a shocker.

  "So you've been together a while now?" he asked.

  "Since the semester began."

  Aiden nodded. "I'm happy for you, Hannah. Believe it or not, all I've ever wanted was for you to be happy."

  "Thank you, Aiden. I really am."

  "So where is Mr. Wonderful anyway?" he joked.

  I rolled my eyes. "He's out running secret errands today, but we're having dinner together tonight."

  He looked at me like he was waiting for me to elaborate. "What about you, Aiden? Any pretty girls in Illinois?"

  He laughed and gave me that great smile of his. "Yeah, a few," he admitted.

  “Aiden, the student center is open; do you have time to get coffee with me?”

  He pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. “Yeah, I have an hour until I have to meet my advisor.”

  We walked together in the direction I had come and I bought him a coffee from the Starbucks inside the building. We sat at a table outside the cafeteria where lectures and student events were often held. There were only a few people walking around and again I got that creepy feeling from being one of the few students left on campus.

  “So tell me about the girls,” I said taking a sip of my drink. “Did you make a lot of friends?”

  Aiden ran his hand nervously through his hair.

  “It’s weird talking to you about girls, Hannah,” he sighed. “I did have a lot of fun there. Everyone was very friendly and there were a couple guys I hung out with on weekends. I didn’t really date much. For a while I was just doing it to get my mind off you but then I realized if I did meet someone I liked I would just have to say goodbye at the end of the semester anyway.”

  “Yeah, I could understand how that would be a problem,” I agreed.

  “So what are you doing this summer?”

  “I guess just trying to enjoy my last official summer vacation. Next year I’ll be looking for a job and probably moving to New York,” I answered.

  “New York? You can’t be in publishing anywhere else?” he asked.

  “No, it’s not that. Shane wants to go to NYU for his graduate degree. He hasn’t applied yet or anything, but assuming he gets in then we’ll be moving there after next year.”

  Aiden stared at me for a moment. Usually it was easy to tell what he was thinking but his expression was unreadable. “Wow, you guys are already planning that far ahead, huh?”

  I just nodded in response taking another sip of my drink. Aiden had barely touched his.

  “Well, I can’t say I’m that surprised,” he sighed.

  “What about you and me, are we going to stay friends?” I asked.

  Aiden looked down at the table between us and seemed to be thinking of how to answer my question. I didn’t know why I needed to be reassured that he would remain in my life. I just knew that I cared about him and wanted to be his friend. Shane probably wouldn’t be too pleased with that. I wouldn’t be happy if he wanted to be friends with Wendy or Julie. I told myself it will be easier to stay friends with Aiden once I moved to New York and there was so much physical distance between us. And even easier once Aiden met another girl.

  “It’s a little harder seeing you than I thought it would be, Hannah. But I do want to be your friend. Maybe we can just email for a while? Like we did the past few months?” he suggested.

  “Sure, Aiden. Are you going to be on campus all of senior year?”

  “Yeah. Keith, Ron, and I are renting a campus apartment.”

  “Good, then maybe we can hang out in September. You know, I have a friend you might like. Her name is Carrie.”

  Aiden chuckled. “Geez, Hannah. You’re trying to hoist me off one someone else already?”

  “No, she’s a nice girl. She works in the daycare with me at the rec center. I thought maybe after one of your workouts you might stop upstairs and say hello. That’s all,” I said smiling.

  “I’ll be in Pemberton all summer, but you can set me up with all your single friends in the fall, okay?” he teased.

  I smiled and said, “Deal.”

  “Okay. Well, I better get going so I’m not late. My appointment’s in the Science building across campus.”

  We walked outside together and for a moment I wasn’t sure how to say goodbye to him.

  “It was good seeing you, Aiden,” I replied.

  “You too, honey. Thanks for the coffee,” he said kissing my cheek.

  Before we parted there was something else that would be hard to say but I felt I needed to tell him. “Aiden… I wanted to say thank you. For what you did last November. I… I just… thank you.”
<
br />   He gave me a half smile and replied, “Your welcome, Hannah.” Then he mock punched my shoulder. “See you around.”

  “See ya,” I replied smiling.

  I watched Aiden walk away for a minute or two and then began my own journey back to the house. I was relieved to have been able to reunite with Aiden in such a casual spur of the moment way. If we had made plans to get together I know I would have been anxious about it, and Shane might have even wanted to join us. That would have been a disaster. My mind was going over possible ways for me to explain to Shane my desire to stay friends with Aiden when my phone buzzed. Hoping it was Shane I quickly pulled my phone from my pocket and answered it.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, Hannah!” Ally sang through the earpiece.

  “Hi, Al. How are you?”

  “Good. How was your trip?” she asked.

  “We had a great time. Andrea took us all over the city. I think we did everything I’d wanted to do, except the empire state building. The line was too long and Shane refused to wait.”

  Ally chuckled. “That sounds like my brother. Speaking of Shane, is he with you? He’s not answering his phone.”

  “Sorry, but he’s not here. He left early this morning to run some errands. Said he be gone all day,” I replied. I wondered if Ally would find that behavior as peculiar as I did.

  “And he left you at the house all by yourself? Where was he going?”

  “He wouldn’t say, except that this afternoon he had the dentist.”

  “That seems strange,” Ally agreed. I nodded my head knowingly. “Try calling him, Hannah. Maybe the background noise will clue you in to where he is.”

  “I’m not calling him. He lied to me and I’m going to wait and see if he explains himself tonight. He ought to come home with packages if he’s been out shopping all day,” I replied starting to get worked up again.

  “Good idea! Okay, well whenever our mystery man shows up tell him to call me. I need to ask his opinion on something.”