All Falls Down

by Morgen, Ayden K.

  I glance back to find him running down the steps toward us. "Toby, let me–"

  "No," he snaps and kicks the motorcycle to life. "You don't belong here."

  "No!" I cry out, my eyes flying open. For a minute, I think Toby really is driving away while Jared races after us, calling my name and begging me to wait for him. For a minute, I see his torn expression clearly and I want to scream at the pain etched there.

  My heart hammers loudly.

  "Shh," Jared whispers in my ear. His voice is thick, sleepy.

  "Jared," I sigh, the nightmare falling away when his naked body presses tightly to mine, his hands pulling me closer. Toby isn't driving away with me. Jared isn't begging me to wait for him.

  "I'm right here, beautiful girl," he murmurs. "He isn't going to get to you."

  "Please," I say, reaching for his erection, which is pressed against my thigh. I run my hand over him, pumping gently. I need him to remind me who I am. I need him to ground me in reality again.

  His hips jerk, pushing his cock into my hand. He moans in my ear, hardening instantly.

  I want him, so badly it hurts.

  "Please," I say again.

  He rolls on top of me, gently nudging my legs apart.

  His mouth searches for mine in the dark.

  I cry out when he presses himself inside of me. Toby, fear… all the bad things fall away again.

  Jared makes love to me slowly, softly, whispering in my ear that he's here, that everything is okay, that he loves me. My orgasm this time is soft, a gentle breeze whispering through me.

  It's heaven.

  "Open your eyes, beautiful girl," Jared whispers.

  His breath tickles at my ear and I stretch beneath him. His body atop mine is a blanket, a safety net. I'm so warm.

  "Look at me, love," he whispers again, his mouth at my ear.

  He's still inside of me, still hard.

  My eyes flutter open when he shifts, dragging my leg up over his thigh.

  Beautiful jade gazes down at me in the murky light of dawn. His lips lift in a crooked smile. He looks so rumpled and gorgeous above me, my heart thumps unevenly.

  "More," I whisper, giving him permission to make love to me again.

  Without a word, he begins to move, stroking in and out of me. I moan, my fingers clutching at the sheets when he dips his head and pulls my nipple into his mouth again. He bites gently, causing my hips to jerk toward his. His pace quickens and he thrusts deeper, hitting exactly the right spot over and over.

  "I love you, Savannah," he groans, lifting his head to stare at me again. "God, I love you, beautiful girl."

  His words shatter me like fine crystal.

  I cry out his name and shake beneath him.

  He follows me over the edge.

  I float for long moments, deliciously sore and completely sated, before he presses a kiss to my naked breast and rolls off of me. I whimper a little as his softening cock slips from me, but he takes me with him, rolling onto his back and laying my head against his chest.

  His lips press to my crown. My eyes flutter.

  I listen to the strong, steady beat of his heart beneath my ear for a long moment.

  "I love you, too," I whisper. The words are soft, faint, but he hears them.

  "Savannah," he sighs, his arms tightening around me again. "Beautiful, sweet girl."

  We lay in silence, watching the sun rise outside the windows, burning away shadows and replacing it with soft light. I'm so tired, but I don't want to sleep again. I want to stay here, sheltering in Jared's embrace, until everything but him disappears, unable to intrude in our little bubble.

  "Sleep, love," he finally whispers as if he can tell how tired I am. "I'm not going anywhere."

  "How is she?" Lexi asks sometime later.

  I'm in that place between sleep and wakefulness again, and I don't want to leave. I'm not even sure if I'm really hearing her or if it's another dream. There have been a lot of those.

  "Not sure," Jared says.

  I shift a little, realizing he's no longer in the bed with me. He's across the room. And so is Lexi. Something tickles at my mind, but the thought is elusive and I can't figure out what it means. I'm too tired to try. My mind is a leaden weight dragging me back down.

  Everything is silent for a moment and I start to sink under again.

  "What are we going to do, Jared?" Lexi asks him.

  "Protect her," he says instantly. His voice is hard, determined. "He can't have her. I won't let him."

  "Oh, Jared," Lexi gasps softly.

  I strain to hear more, but nothing comes.

  Chapter Fifteen: Into Pieces

  The sheets are cool against my skin when I float toward consciousness again. I don't know how long I've been out this time, but the sun is warm on my face, and I know it must be late. Jared isn't in the bed with me, but he's close, just as he has been since he carried me to the guesthouse last night.

  My mind tries to latch onto that trip, but I don't remember it.

  Is that normal?

  I don't know. I don't think it really matters anyway.

  What am I going to do?

  The question slips into my mind on a wisp of smoke and the floodgates open.

  Toby is in San Francisco.

  God, why can't last night have been a nightmare?

  The blade of the knife gleams, sunlight hitting it just right.

  I whimper in the back of my throat.

  Jason paces toward me, his steps heavy. I want to get up and run, but I'm frozen to the spot. I want to open my mouth and scream, but my voice isn't working right. My gaze follows the knife when he raises it over his head, and catches on where his eyes should be. There's nothing behind the mask but a void. Black where eyes should be. No window to the soul. No soul.

  He isn't even human.

  It doesn't matter. He's going to kill me anyway.

  The knife flashes toward me.

  I open my mouth to scream….

  "Savannah, wake up!"

  My eyes fly open.

  Jason looms over me, his hand outstretched.

  A strangled sob breaks from my lips and I jerk backward, away from his knife.

  It takes me a minute to realize I'm not backed into a corner. There is no knife. No Jason.

  I'm on the couch in the mansion.

  Matthew stands over me, a worried frown on his face.

  "Shit," I whisper, and instantly cringe when one of his dark brows fly upward. "Sorry."

  "Nightmare?" he asks.

  "Yeah, I… Jason." I shake my head, trying to clear it of the cobwebs. My heart still thunders in my chest. Why did I let Kit talk me into watching a Friday the 13th marathon?

  Matthew's mouth turns down at the corners. "Katrina's idea?"

  "Um…." Crap.

  "Katrina," he says, my hesitation all the confirmation he needs.

  I nod reluctantly.

  Matthew sighs and then shakes his head. "I told her not to watch those movies with you. You always have nightmares."

  "It wasn't her fault," I say, not wanting my overactive imagination to get her into trouble again. I'm sixteen. I should be able to watch Jason. It's not her fault I can't.

  "You gonna to be okay?" Matthew asks, letting it go for now.

  I wipe at my eyes to clear them. "Yeah, it was just a nightmare."

  "No white knight to save the day?"

  "I think we're fresh out of white knights, sir."

  "Damn the luck," he deadpans and then winks. "Well, I guess it's a good thing you've got me. I may not look like much, but I've slain a dragon or two in my day. Jason will rue the day!"

  He puffs his chest out and beats on it Tarzan style, pulling a laugh from my lips.

  The last vestiges of the nightmare evaporate in an instant.

  I never thought I'd wish to be a teenager again, but I want desperately to go back again. Five minutes is all I need. Five minutes to hug Matthew, to thank him, to tell him how much I appreciate everything he
did for me. Five minutes to tell myself not to go with Toby.

  But it's done now, and there is no going back. Only forward.

  Forward.

  Toby's sneering face takes center stage in my mind again, forcing my eyes open.

  I don't want to see him. But I don't think I really have a choice.

  God, what am I going to do?

  My gaze lands on Jared. He's leaning back against the wall across from the bed, his head tilted back. His lips move as if he's praying. Exhaustion and defeat are etched in deep lines around his lips….

  I gasp, fragments of whispered conversation rearing to the forefront of my mind.

  Lexi was here.

  Jared's eyes pop open when the sound leaves my lips. Cool jade focuses on me. His shoulder slump a little. Tension drains from his face.

  "You're awake," he says, pushing away from the wall.

  I struggle to sit up in the bed as he paces toward me in nothing but a pair of sweats riding low on his hips. He looks exhausted, but my heart races anyway. My fingers actually twitch with the desire to reach out and trace the shadows beneath his eyes.

  Did he sleep at all?

  He draws to a stop beside the bed, but doesn't sit.

  "Did you sleep?" I ask him.

  "How do you feel?" he asks at the same time.

  "I–"

  We both start and then stop again. I want to laugh off the awkwardness, but I don't have a laugh in me. I don't think he does either.

  "How do you feel?" he asks when I motion for him to go first.

  "I'm not sure," I admit. I don't feel broken, but I don't think I'm whole either. I'm not sure what that leaves.

  Do I even want to know what that leaves?

  Probably not.

  I change the subject instead of trying to figure it out. "Did you sleep?"

  "Yeah," he says. "A little."

  I nod. Swallow. Shift around. And then, "Lexi was here," I whisper.

  "Yeah," he says quietly. "Earlier."

  "What–" I'm such a coward. "What time is it?"

  "A little after two."

  We're both silent for a moment. A thousand questions threaten to bowl me over, but I'm… numb. Yeah, numb. I can't feel my fingertips. My thoughts aren't ordering themselves correctly. A catastrophe looms on the horizon, and I can't handle it.

  The silence seems to stretch on forever, and I can't take it anymore. It's awkward and full of the things threatening to swallow me whole. If one of us doesn't speak soon, I'm going to go crazy.

  "She knows," I blurt. I'm tired of hiding and avoiding. I want to face this, get it over with.

  Liar, liar, pants on fire, part of my mind whispers.

  I don't contradict it.

  "Yeah," Jared says, his mouth set in a grim line. "She knows."

  It takes a minute to process the words. I knew they were coming, but hearing them out loud is hard. My heart clenches. I try to take a deep breath and focus. I have to face this. But I don't even know where to begin when everything in me screams that this is it. This is where the universe or God or fate or whatever rips Jared away from me. Where Toby swoops back in to sneer and say he told me so. That I don't belong. That I've been deluding myself into thinking I can have this life. That I ruined everything for the Talbots. For Jared.

  I glance away from Jared, focus on the stitching in the blanket covering me. On the ticking of the clock. On the sun blazing through the window. On anything but the fault line rupturing in my chest and tired jade stripping me of my defenses.

  What am I going to do?

  He reaches for my hand and locks our fingers together. "She'll calm down soon."

  I take another deep breath, and focus on how different our hands are instead of on the implications of what he's just said. His hand is so much bigger than mine, all golden and calloused. His nails are neatly trimmed though, his cuticles in perfect health. My nail beds are awful.

  "I don't have anywhere else to go," I whisper. My shoulders shake a little.

  "You don't–?" I hear the frown in his voice and then the soft gasp when he realizes what I mean. He steps closer to the bed and then climbs on top. I cling to his hand, refusing to release it, but he manages to settle himself beside me and pull me into his lap anyway.

  I realize then that I'm still naked. Lexi was here… and I'm naked.

  I curl into Jared, make myself as small as possible. Lay my head against his chest, I take another deep breath. A sob catches in my throat and I choke on it.

  Lexi knows. And Toby's in San Francisco.

  My little bubble is being viciously ripped apart without my consent.

  I can't stem the flow of tears pouring from me. I sound like a dying animal. Jared tightens his hold on me, letting me sob into his chest. His arms are warm, and strong, but the chill inside isn't melting away this time.

  What am I going to do?

  What am I going to do?

  I don't have an answer, so I cry.

  I cry until my throat is raw and my head hurts.

  The sun's moved on. Shadows fall across the bed. I lay in Jared's arms, but I'm still cold and numb.

  I just want to curl up in a ball and die.

  "Don't," Jared says. He shifts around, turning my face up to his. His face is a thundercloud, his eyes blazing with a mixture of anger, fear, and grief. He looks desolate, broken. "Don't ever say that."

  I didn't know I had. I stare up at him. Just stare.

  I'm not suicidal. I'm just tired. God, I'm so fucking tired.

  "We'll deal with this, Savannah," he says again, shaking my shoulders a little to punctuate the seriousness of his words. "We'll deal with this, but don't give up on me now. Don't give up on us now. If you love me… just don't." His voice breaks a little at the end. He's pleading with me, and I don't know what to say to him.

  "How?" I finally ask. How do we deal with this? The big secret is out. Lexi knows about us and is pissed. Toby's here. Everything bad just keeps coming at us, and I don't know what to do. All of this happening at once is fate. It's what I deserve for letting myself forget that I'm just the maid's daughter.

  "We just do."

  He makes it sound so simple.

  The sun will rise. Night will fall. We'll deal.

  Can it really be that easy? We just deal? We survive, fight, and make this all better? Make Lexi understand that we're not a threat to her? That our relationship isn't going to get her and the girls or anyone else hurt? Make Toby disappear?

  I want that. I want it so bad, it gives me strength.

  "Have you ever read Invictus?" I ask Jared.

  He frowns, confused. His hold on my arms slackens a little. "What?"

  "Invictus," I say again.

  "What are you–?"

  "In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud," I recite before he can ask me if I've gone insane. Maybe I have. Maybe. "Under the bludgeoning of chance, my head is bloody, but unbowed."

  Jared just stares at me.

  "I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul," I whisper to him.

  Just once, I want to be in control of what happens to me.

  His expression clears as understanding dawns. He pulls me to him, kissing me hard.

  "I love you," he whispers against my lips.

  I settle against his chest again, curling into him. I am the master of my fate, I tell myself, chanting it over and over until my head droops and a yawn cracks my lips.

  "We will deal with this," he says softly.

  It sounds like he's trying to convince himself, too.

  I fall asleep in his arms, praying he's right.

  Chapter Sixteen: Just Once

  When I wake again, the sun shines through my window, and Jared is gone. I lay still beneath the sheets, trying to reach out with my mind for him, but I don't sense him.

  I open my eyes reluctantly, embarrassed that I even tried.

  If extra sensory perception is real, I don't have it. Sometimes though, it really
does seem as if Jared and I are connected by some inexplicable force. I know when he's near and when he isn't. I can be in another room, and I know the moment he walks into the house. The way I feel about him… I'm not sure there is an explanation for it.

  Or maybe I'm just lying to myself.

  Maybe I want to be connected to him in such a profound way, so I convince myself we are.

  It wouldn't be the first time I've let myself see what isn't there.

  I'm standing on the sidewalk outside the public library when Toby roars up on his motorcycle. He pulls to a stop in front of me, and kills the engine.

  "More books, Savannah?" he asks, his tone joking.

  "Hi, Toby," I say, shrugging in response to his teasing. He knows how much I enjoy reading.

  The sun peeks from behind a tuft of cloud, and Toby squints, trying to see me through the bright orange haze now shining down on us. He looks me up and down. His gaze catches on the inch of skin showing between the hem of my shirt and the waistband of my shorts.

  I shouldn't have let Kit talk me into wearing it. It's too short.

  I tug on the hem, feeling self-conscious and exposed.

  Something masculine floats through Toby's expression when he lifts his gaze to meet mine again. "You busy tonight?" he asks.

  "Um, I don't think so." I have a huge test tomorrow and should probably study, but I want to go out with Toby instead. If he's asking me. I hope he is. We've gone out a few times, and he's so different than most of the other guys at school. He's nice to me, and he makes me laugh.

  My heart picks up speed when a grin spreads across his face. It's so boyish.

  "Good," he says. "I'll pick you up at seven." He kicks the side stand up and starts the bike again. It roars to life, seeming to vibrate the sidewalk beneath my feet. Toby lets it idle for a moment and then flicks his eyes toward me again. His gaze roves slowly down my torso and catches on the thin patch of skin. "Wear something else," he says. "You're too cute to flaunt it like a slut would."

  Before I can answer, he takes off.

  I stare after him, my cheeks burning. He was complimenting me… wasn't he?

  That's not where I'm headed with Jared, is it? To that place where I'm broken, shattered, and I don't know how to pick up the pieces again? I don't want this to be how it was with Toby, something destructive and cruel. Jared isn't anything like that, but maybe I am.