All Falls Down

by Morgen, Ayden K.

  I shoot her a grateful smile and drag myself from the car. My heart is in my throat as I make my way toward the guesthouse. I know he's waiting for me there. I can feel him inside, like the connection between us never went away even though I did. Even though I ran.

  My steps are heavy on the porch, but he doesn't come out to meet me.

  I take a deep breath and let myself in.

  Jared is standing in the middle of the room, toying with a little glass ballerina from the entertainment stand. He's dressed in jeans and a green button down. His hair is a mess. And those eyes – I get sucked into them the minute he lifts them to mine.

  "Hi," he whispers, setting the ballerina back down on the entertainment stand.

  "Hi." I shove the door closed.

  We just stare at each other for a long time.

  One minute passes. And then two. Three.

  "Is it over?" I blurt, unable to stand the silence any longer. I've been agonizing over this moment for so long, and I just want to get it over with. If this is really it, I want him to put me out of my misery now.

  His eyes widen. "What?"

  "Are you – are you done with me?" I ask. The words are tense and strained. "I know you're angry with me. Wondering whether you still want to be with me is killing me."

  "Angry with you?" He takes a step toward me and then stops, his brow scrunched up. "I'm not angry with you, beautiful girl."

  "No? It certainly seems like you are. You haven't been to see me since I woke up. You just walked out." I take a deep breath, refusing to cry this time. "So if this is your way of letting me know that you don't want to be with me, I get it, okay?"

  "Savannah–"

  "But I want you to know that I'm still in love with you. I think I always will be. You've given me so much, and I can't ever repay that. I will always be grateful to you for what you've done for me – for reminding me that I'm strong and worthy of love, and that I deserve to be cherished. And I don't know how I'm going to make it through the rest of my life without you when every part of me wants you, but I'll figure out a way if that's what you want."

  "Savannah–"

  "I just want to know why, though. I know I'm a basket case, and maybe I always will be, but I'm working on it. I'm in therapy, trying to get better, to find myself again and learn how to be strong. Did I destroy any chance I had when I ran away? Did you change your mind? Do you not want me anymore? Are you–?"

  I'm still rambling when he crosses the room and drags me into his arms. He kisses me hard, his mouth working against mine as if he's going to die if he doesn't kiss me right this instant. And I don't know what that means, but I kiss him back. His lips feel so good beneath mine. They're soft and hard and so sweet.

  I've missed him, God, I've missed him so much.

  He breaks away, panting.

  Blood rushes in my ears in a dull roar.

  "I love you," he whispers, cupping my face in his hands. His eyes burn that fierce green color I love so much. The one that makes me melt and ignites me at the same time. "Do you hear me? I. Love. You."

  "O-kay?"

  "I'm so fucking in love with you, Savannah Martin. I can't think straight. I can't sleep. You're all I think about. You're all I ever think about, and I don't want to stop. Even after everything you've been through lately, all I want to do is strip you bare right here and make love to you until you can't move, beautiful girl. I need to be inside you so badly it hurts. How do you not know that?" He shakes his head back and forth, seeming as if he really doesn't understand. "How can you think for even a second that I don't want you?"

  "I haven't seen you," I whisper. "You just walked out–"

  "Savannah," he sighs, pulling me into his arms. His heart hammers beneath my ear. "I needed to take care of a few things for you."

  "Oh. What things?"

  "Toby, for one," he says. "He'll never bother you again. If he ever steps foot on United States soil again, he'll go to jail to await trial for assaulting you, and for attempted murder for Maddi."

  "He will?" I pull away so I can see Jared's face.

  "It's what you wanted," he says, shrugging as if ensuring this for me is no big deal. He has no idea how wrong he is about that though, because to me, it's everything.

  "You're serious? He can't ever come back here?"

  "Never, beautiful girl," Jared promises. "You never have to be afraid of him or worry about him again."

  I'm free. Really and truly free.

  I fling myself at him and kiss him hard. I think this is the best gift he's ever given me.

  He kisses me back, his hands in my hair, holding me to him.

  Within moments, the heat between us flashes to steam. My hands are all over him, and I can't seem to stop myself. I don't want to stop myself. It's been seven long weeks since I last touched him. Seven long, agonizing weeks.

  "Wait, beautiful girl," he whispers when I start lifting his shirt, trying to get it off of him. He grabs my hands in his, pulling them away from his body.

  I groan, reluctantly breaking away from him.

  "I need you to know something," he says, bringing my hands to his lips to brush kisses across my knuckles. And then he meets my gaze again. "I never intended to marry Lexi."

  "I know."

  "Do you?" He examines my face, searching for something. The truth, maybe.

  "I thought–" I sigh. "When I saw the announcement, I thought maybe you put it in my mailbox. That you were really going to marry her, and that was your way of telling me. I came here… I don't know why I came. I wanted to stop you. I wanted to see for myself. I wanted–" What did I want when I came here? "I wanted you to see me," I say carefully. "I wanted you to know how much it hurt to think that you'd forgotten me. That you were going to marry her."

  "Savannah," he whispers, sadness twisting through his expression.

  "I was so angry at you, Jared. I left and you just let me go, and I shouldn't blame you for that when it was my fault, but I did blame you. I wanted you to stop me. I wanted you to come for me. But you didn't. You just let me go." Tears pool in my eyes. "I wanted to hate you for that. No one ever fights to keep me, and I thought you were different, but you didn't come. I was a wreck for weeks, and you never even tried to see me. What was I supposed to think?"

  "I did see you, beautiful girl," he whispers, reaching up to wipe my tears away. "I saw you every single day. I sat outside Kit's dorm and your apartment, just waiting for you to step outside so I could see you. And when I was here, you were everywhere. You were tormenting me, Savannah, and I didn't want you to stop."

  I stare at him, stunned. He was there? He saw me?

  "It took everything in me to let you go, but I had to do it. I needed you to be safe while I finished things at T.I. so I could bring you back home. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you what we were doing. I thought if you didn't know what we were planning, you wouldn't worry. That you wouldn't know until it was over, and you wouldn't be in the middle. You'd be safe, and I could end this for you. Seeing you blame yourself for Maddi killed me, Savannah. You were broken, and that was my fault. I never wanted you to feel that way again. But then you showed up here anyway, and I saw the way you looked at me. It hurt to realize you thought I was really going to marry Lexi. How could you not know how fucking much I love you?"

  "Ever since she told me she was in love with you, I've been waiting for you to realize how much better she is for you than I am," I confess, the words soft and quiet. "She's everything I'm not – beautiful and successful. I'm a mess. Why would you choose me over her?"

  "Because I'm not in love her," he says without hesitation. "I've told you before that I'm just a man, Savannah. And you don't know your own self-worth. Because of Toby, you don't see what I see when I look at you. You don't know how phenomenal you truly are."

  "I'm trying," I say.

  His grip on me tightens, his voice dropping so low I can barely hear him. "When I heard you talking to him – when you yelled about what he did to you… I wanted to
kill him for that. Before he ever raised his hand to you, I wanted to rip his fucking balls off. And I wanted to kiss you. I've never been more proud of you than I was when you told him to go to hell."

  "I was proud of me, too." I bit my lip.

  Jared sighs softly. "I'll never forgive myself for letting you go with Stewart." Agony burns in his gaze. "I thought it was going to kill me when I realized he'd taken you from me. That destroyed me, Savannah. You were gone and it was my fault. I let him take you away from me. I was terrified he was going to kill you, that I wouldn't get to you in time, that you'd never know that I wasn't going to marry Lexi or how much I love you. He's so fucking lucky Chris took care of him before I could get my hands on him because I would have ripped him apart." He brushes his fingers down my cheek. The bruise is all but gone now, the gash healing. I don't think he'll ever forget it was there though.

  "That's why I left when you woke up, Savannah. You were in that bed because of me. And even though Stewart was gone, I saw the fear in your eyes when you asked about Toby. I couldn't take back what happened with Stewart – I still can't – but I had to make sure that you were safe. I wanted you to know that you're safe. I owed it to you to ensure that Toby couldn't hurt you anymore."

  "And now he can't," I whisper.

  "No one will ever hurt you again, beautiful girl. No one." There's so much heat in his voice, so much promise, I don't doubt him for a minute. "I'll spend the rest of my life ensuring that if…." He takes a deep breath and exhales, his expression suddenly uncertain, hesitant.

  "If what?"

  "If you'll let me." Those jade eyes bore into me. He reaches out to cup my cheek, offering me a small smile. Hope and fear linger in his gaze, twined so tightly together, they make my heart ache. "You asked if I was done with you, but I should be the one asking that of you. You're it for me, beautiful girl. I think you have been since the first moment I set eyes on you. And God knows I don't deserve a second chance after everything you've gone through because of me, but I'm asking anyway. Please give me another chance, Savannah. Let me prove to you that I can be good for you. Let me show you the fucking brave, beautiful woman I see."

  His words fill me with light, with hope.

  My heart is so full, I think it's going to explode.

  "You're it for me too, Jared," I whisper, more tears spilling over to slip down my cheeks. They're happy tears this time, the best kind. The ones that cleanse the soul, washing away all the bad things that linger in the corners. The ones that drown the demons in happiness.

  I have a home, and a family… and I have Jared in my corner, willing to fight with me, to fight for me.

  "I love you," I tell him, my heart completely full of him. "Forever."

  "Savannah." Hope grows in his eyes, blotting out fear, blotting out everything but me. His lips meet mine again, soft and sweet. "Beautiful, sweet girl."

  His kiss changes, his lips growing more insistent against mine, as if kissing me breathes life into him, igniting a fire only I can put out. I cling to him, crying and kissing him back. My hands tremble and shake when he pulls me into his arms, lifting me up like I weigh nothing. His mouth doesn't leave mine as he carries me to the bedroom.

  "I need to be inside you, baby," he whispers, laying me down on the bed.

  "Yes." I arch beneath him when he follows me down, his body pressing against mine.

  He strips me naked, his hands and lips worshipping every inch of my skin as he works to gently pull my clothes from my body. I'm a big ball of sensation by the time he slips my panties down my legs. I need him so badly, I ache everywhere.

  I think he knows it.

  He nudges my legs apart and slips between them.

  "Look at me," he says to me.

  I cry out when I see the way he's gazing at me – like he's going to devour me. There's so much heat and promise and love in his eyes… I'm in heaven. I know I am because I've never felt so perfect before.

  "I will never let you go again, beautiful girl. I will fight for you every day for the rest of my life if that's what it takes to make you realize how much I love you. How much I need you." And then his mouth is on me, his tongue pressing against my clit. He holds me still as I cry out and moan and shake beneath him. Within minutes, he's catapulted me over the edge, but he still doesn't stop. He makes love to me with his tongue and his lips and fingers until I beg for him to fill me.

  When he pulls his clothes off, his gaze stays locked on mine. I'm caught in his stare, unable to breathe. He looks so fierce, so radiant – as if being here with me is the greatest gift in the world.

  "I'll be gentle," he promises me, sliding back between my legs. He hitches my thigh over his hip, and then I feel him pressing against me, hot and hard, and, oh, God–

  "More," I moan.

  He doesn't make me ask again. He thrusts forward, filling me. And god, I've missed this. I've missed the way he fits so perfectly inside of me, and the way he throws his head back and moans my name when he's all the way in – like he can't believe how good it feels to be in me. I've missed the way my breath catches in my throat when he looks at me while he's making love to me. And the way every part of me is full when he's kissing me.

  I've missed him. Us.

  He makes love to me as gently as he promised, slipping almost all the way out before slowly pushing back inside of me again. His eyes stay locked on mine the entire time, even when he dips his head to pull my nipple into his mouth.

  I run my hands all across his body, unable to stop myself from touching him everywhere I can reach. He feels so good on top of me. He belongs there, fits there perfectly. Sweet words and little groans fall from his lips in a litany, each one searing me, burning me with the truth as he sees it. To him, I'm beautiful, perfect… just like he is to me.

  "I love you," I whisper when his pace increases, pulling us both toward the edge. I moan and arch and twist beneath him, unable to stop myself as he pushes me higher and higher. My rib throbs faintly, but I barely notice it. All I feel is Jared and love and peace.

  We tumble over the edge together, crying out in unison.

  "Forever," he whispers against my lips.

  Epilogue: Hold You in My Arms Forever

  Four months later-

  I stand at the edge of the stage, my heart hammering. There are so many people here and it's so loud.

  "You're next," the woman standing on the steps says quietly.

  I step up, take a deep breath. I feel like I'm going to pass out or vomit.

  "In first place is Jade, a story by Miss Savannah Martin."

  I slap a smile on my face and hurry up the steps to the stage. Maddi, Chris, and Demetri yell my name from the sea of faces in the crowd, whooping and hollering. Tears stream down Kit's face when I catch sight of her beside Grayson and Lexi, who's smiling ear to ear. Jared stands beside them with the rest of his family, the biggest grin on his face. Even from this distance, it takes my breath away.

  The crowd claps and cheers until I feel like I'm a rock star as I hurry toward the Dean to accept my award: a scholarship. He reaches out and shakes my hand, smiling at me.

  "Congratulations, Miss Martin. I can't wait to see your name in print."

  I grin at him, taking the award in his hands before hurrying across the stage. His assistant hands me a little bag and smiles at me, too. As soon as my feet hit the bottom step, Jared's there, scooping me up into his arms. He kisses me hard, his eyes shining.

  "I'm so fucking proud of you, beautiful girl," he whispers against my lips.

  I grin and fling my arms around his neck, hugging him hard. I'm so happy, I'm floating inside. "I did it," I say, laughing.

  "You did," he confirms, laughing with me. "I told you that you wouldn't be a bad student."

  I want to jump up and down and squeal.

  Instead, I kiss him again.

  He groans against my lips and sets me back on my feet. "You better get back to your seat," he says, still smiling at me. His eyes are darker, like they get whe
n he's dying to make love to me but can't.

  "Soon," I promise him, standing on my toes so I can kiss his cheek.

  He groans again when I drop back down to my feet and hurry toward my seat, suddenly desperate to get through the rest of this ceremony so my fiancé can take me to bed. My fiancé….

  Jared's on his knees before me, smiling up at me. He's surrounded by flowers, a blanket of them rolling across the grass in our little clearing at the Gardens. They should be dead now – it's too cold – but he's filled the clearing with them anyway. I don't know how… I don't think it matters.

  I can't breathe as I stare down at the ring in his hands.

  "I love you, Savannah Martin. I've loved you since the moment I set eyes on you. And I will love you until the day I die," he whispers, his voice shaking with sincerity. His jade eyes shine with promise, with love and tenderness and hope. "I told you before that I'd spend the rest of my life making you happy, and I meant it. I still do. I will never let you forget how priceless you are, and I will cherish you, protect you, and love you with everything in me. I will fight for you when you need me to do so, and help you fight for you, too. Please, please marry me, beautiful girl."

  My hands shake, tears slipping silently down my cheeks as he pleads with me, trying to convince me to marry him. As if he needs to convince me. As if I'd ever tell him no. My heart is full of him, every minute. It has been since the first time he wrapped me in his arms.

  "You belong with me, beautiful girl," he whispers. "Let me show you."

  He doesn't need to show me. I know I belong with him. Every little part of me believes that now – every little part knows he's mine. That I'm his.

  I think I always have been.

  "Yes," I say, laughing through my tears. "Yes."

  The smile on Jared's face is blinding, beautiful.

  He slips my ring onto my finger.

  "I love you," he says, rising to his feet to pull me into his arms. His lips meet mine.

  "Forever," I whisper to him.

  I slip into my seat, a wide smile plastered across my face.

  I feel like Cinderella again, the one who gets to keep her prince. It's the most amazing sensation in the world, and I don't ever want it to end.