Passion's Law

by Ruth Langan

  As the mood darkened and deepened, he found himself looking around and trying to see his place through Heather’s eyes. He stalked from room to room, his mind crowded with ominous thoughts, his soul heavy.

  What had he been thinking, bringing her here? She could fit his entire apartment into a single room at the Colton ranch. And though he hadn’t seen her family home in San Diego, he had a pretty good idea of her lifestyle there.

  What sort of dreamworld had he been living in? What had ever possessed him to think he could hold the attention of a woman like that for more than a few days?

  A woman like that.

  She’d been raised in an environment of extreme wealth and privilege. She didn’t know what it was to want for anything. A snap of the fingers and it was hers. A new car? A closet filled with designer gowns? A horse? A stable of horses? Hers for the asking.

  So why would a princess be interested in a pauper? The answer came to him in a flash. Because she’d never known anyone like him before. To a woman like Heather McGrath, a rough-edged working class cop in her bed would be quite a novelty. A conquest to boast about some day when she was sipping wine with old college friends and talking about the foolish things they’d done in days gone by, before they’d snagged their millionaire husbands. And so she’d set her sights on something she’d never had before.

  And he’d been so eager to oblige.

  When he thought of the way he’d behaved, like a raging bull in a china shop, he felt like such a fool.

  He drained the beer and, needing to do something to vent the anger that was building inside, hurled the empty can against the wall before turning away and heading off to his bedroom.

  Even the empty bed seemed to mock him.

  He switched off the lights and lay in the dark, praying that the yawning black chasm that was hovering overhead wouldn’t swallow him up completely.

  It would feel like an eternity while he waited for morning to come.

  It was a sunny day in Jackson, Mississippi, as Louise Smith sat back in the lounge chair beside the fountain in her garden waiting for Dr. Martha Wilkes to begin another therapy session.

  They had done this often enough that the preliminary session had become routine. First came the litany of words Martha spoke aloud to help her relax. As they began to work their magic she closed her eyes and willed herself into a soothing place where she could empty her mind and be open to the questions put to her by her doctor.

  Dr. Wilkes kept her voice cool and dispassionate as she led her patient through what had gradually become their daily ritual. Bits and pieces of the past. Threads in the fabric of the twisted and tortured life of the woman Dr. Wilkes knew only as Louise.

  Today would be tougher than most. Dr. Wilkes had been leading her patient toward this destination for quite some time.

  “All right now, Louise. I want you to take me back to the day of the accident.”

  Louise’s head turned from one side to the other in a lazy refusal. “I don’t want to go there again.”

  “I know.” Dr. Wilkes patted her hand, then leaned back. “But I need you to lead me through the events again. Exactly as you remember them.”

  Louise’s eyes flickered, then closed. Her voice became a monotone. “I was driving to Santa Cruz.”

  “Do you remember why?”

  Louise struggled to find her way through the thick fog that enveloped her mind. “Going to see someone.”

  “Can you recall who it was?”

  “A woman. Dark-eyed. Smiling. Her name…” She thought for just a moment she could hear a voice, but then it was snatched away. “No. Don’t recall.”

  “And you were alone in the car as you drove to Santa Cruz.”

  “No.”

  Dr. Wilkes quirked a brow before making a notation in her file. “Are you quite certain of that?”

  “Not alone. There was…someone with me.”

  “A man? Or another woman?”

  Louise felt the fog closing in, thicker, darker, and struggled to clear it from her mind. “No. Not a man or a woman.”

  “A child maybe?” Dr. Wilkes watched the way her patient’s face became ravaged.

  “Maybe. I can’t…recall.”

  Seeing her agitation, Dr. Wilkes kept her voice deliberately soft. “All right. You were driving. Then what happened?”

  “A car coming up behind me. Very fast.” Louise’s voice became suddenly animated, higher-pitched. “Watch out. We’re going to be hit.”

  “Who are you warning, Louise? Or are you just shouting to yourself?”

  “Someone.” Highly agitated, she gripped the arms of the chair. “Warning whoever is with me to brace for an accident. Then we’re swerving. I’m screaming. At least I think it’s my voice. Someone is screaming. We’re forced off the road, tires screeching, metal crumpling. Then…darkness.” Tears rolled down her cheeks as she shook her head and repeated over and over, “Darkness. Only darkness. And emptiness. So empty inside. And I see…” She let out a piercing scream that sounded more animal than human. “Oh, God I see…”

  She dissolved into shuddering sobs.

  Alarmed, Dr. Wilkes used the prearranged words that would bring her patient out of her hypnotic trance. She studied the pale quiet woman, wondering at this latest setback.

  “I know there are secrets, Louise.” Dr. Wilkes took her hand and held it between both of hers. “Painful secrets that are struggling to remain locked away. But we’ll learn them together. I know we will.”

  As her patient walked away she switched on her recorder and spoke in clear, concise words. “Patient still traumatized by vivid recollection of the accident. This latest collapse suggests that we should proceed with great care in order to avoid even more severe shock to her fragile system. Otherwise, she could be lost forever.”

  “Hi, Daddy. What are you doing?” Brittany sat cross-legged in the middle of Heather’s bed, holding Heather’s cell phone to her ear.

  In his room Thad could barely lift his head from the pillow. He moved with the speed of a slug, forcing himself to sit up and swing his legs to the floor. “How’s my girl?”

  “Fine, Daddy. Heather just helped me take a bubble bath. In a few minutes we’re going downstairs and have breakfast. Will you come over and eat with us?”

  He ran his hands through his hair and glanced at the bedside clock. It was seven o’clock, and he’d had less than an hour of sleep. He’d tossed and turned for hours, fighting so many demons, he felt weary beyond belief.

  “No, honey. I have to go to the station first. But I’ll come by for you this afternoon. Okay?”

  She dimpled. “Okay, Daddy. Do you want to talk to Heather?”

  She handed over the phone.

  Heather’s eyes were dancing as she said in her sexiest voice, “Good morning, Detective Law.”

  There was no sound on the other end of the line.

  “Thad?” She listened, then realized they’d been disconnected. Puzzled, she dialed again and heard the phone ring and ring.

  “That’s funny.” She shoved the phone into her pocket. “Your daddy must have jumped into the shower. Come on, Brittany. We’ll eat now and try him again in a little while.”

  As they made their way downstairs, Heather thought about the previous morning, when she and Thad had watched each other in the mirror. Just thinking about it had the heat rising to her cheeks.

  She couldn’t wait to see him again. This time apart made her realize all the more how much Thad Law had come to mean to her. And she intended to tell him so at the first opportunity. As soon as they were alone.

  It was midday before Thad finished all of the paperwork involved in the gruesome homicide. The mood among his fellow officers in the squad room was subdued. He picked up his suit jacket and made his way to his car.

  As he drove to the Colton ranch his thoughts were filled with doom and gloom. He should have never followed his father into police work. He didn’t have the stomach for it. To survive on the streets today, a ma
n needed nerves of steel. Not to mention a hard heart. Instead of criminal law, he should have majored in business or real estate. Now there was a way to make great money without losing his heart and soul to all this misery.

  Heather had called him a good man. A straight arrow. What he was, he decided wearily, was a fool. One who gave up way too much in the line of duty and got too little in return.

  Heather. He knew she was the real reason for this strange mood. Until she came into his life, he’d never questioned his calling. He was a cop. A good one. It’s all he’d ever wanted to do. But now, suddenly, he wanted more. Not for himself, but for Heather.

  What was he going to do about her? He was already in over his head. Every day that he allowed this to continue, would only make things worse when she finally walked out of his life. And she would, he was certain, walk away when she decided she’d had enough of this relationship.

  It would be better to break it off now. It would be painful. But it would be quick and clean.

  Quick and clean.

  He clenched his jaw. He was about to take a knife to the heart. The least he could do was to try to make it as bloodless as possible. For both their sakes.

  “More bubbles, Heather.” Brittany clapped her hands.

  “What’s the magic word?” Heather held the bottle behind her back.

  “Please,” the little girl said sweetly.

  “Now how could I ever refuse you anything?” With a laugh Heather dipped the wand into the bubble solution and blew a stream of bubbles, sending Brittany chasing after them.

  They were both laughing when they caught sight of Thad driving up.

  Heather quickly capped the bottle and shoved it into the pocket of her jeans, before scooping up the little girl and racing toward Thad’s car. By the time he stepped out they were dashing toward him, calling out greetings.

  “Daddy.” Brittany held out her arms and Heather passed her over to Thad. “Kisses, Daddy.”

  “You bet.” He pressed her close and gave her a fierce hug before kissing her upturned face. “Oh, I missed you.”

  “I missed you, too, Daddy. But I wasn’t afraid. I slept in Heather’s bed and she told me stories until she fell asleep.”

  “You mean until you fell asleep.”

  “No, Daddy. Heather fell asleep first. Then I just curled up next to her and slept, too. And today I got to take a bubble bath. Smell me, Daddy. Do I smell like Heather?”

  Beside him he heard Heather’s sultry laugh, but he kept his attention riveted on his daughter. It wouldn’t be wise to look at the person he was about to cut out of his life. Besides, he was afraid if he did, he’d lose his nerve.

  He breathed deeply and felt the pain, sharp and swift, at the fragrance of crushed roses. “Yeah. You smell good, honey.”

  “I know. I like it, Daddy. I smell just like Heather. I told her when I grow up I’m going to look just like her. What do you think, Daddy? Can I look like Heather when I get big?”

  “I don’t think that’s possible, Brittany. You have to look like yourself. Besides, why would you want to look like someone else, when you’re so beautiful?”

  Her big blue eyes got bigger. “Am I as beautiful as Heather?”

  “To me you are.”

  She rubbed her hands over his hair and pressed her lips to his forehead. “Can we stay for dinner, Daddy? Heather says we’ve having steaks on the grill.”

  “That sounds good, honey. But we need to get home.”

  “Okay. Can Heather come home with us?”

  This was what he’d been dreading. And now that it was here he was afraid he wasn’t going to handle it very well.

  He straightened his shoulders. “I don’t think so, honey. Not tonight.”

  Heather touched a hand to his arm. “Sounds like you’ve had a bad time of it.”

  He flinched and drew a little away. “Yeah. I’ve had better.”

  Puzzled, she lay a hand over his, only to have him draw back again. Was it her imagination, or was he avoiding her? During this entire exchange he hadn’t once looked at her. At first she’d thought it was because he’d missed his daughter so much. After all, they were rarely apart. But now she was getting an uneasy feeling along her spine.

  “If things are really bad, you can always leave Brittany here another night.”

  “No.” The protest came out sharper than he’d intended. He glanced up and saw the hurt look in Heather’s eyes, then decided to just plow through. “We’ve imposed on you long enough. It’s time to get back to our own lives.”

  “Imposed?” Now the pain was in her voice as well as in her eyes. “How can you even think such a thing, Thad?”

  “How? It’s easy. You’re young and beautiful and you have your whole life ahead of you. The last thing you need is to be tied down with a bad-tempered cop and his kid. As for Brittany and me, we’re a team. We don’t need anybody except each other.” He turned to his daughter, to avoid the mix of pain and confusion in Heather’s eyes. “Isn’t that right, honey?”

  “Uh-huh.” The little girl looked from her dad to the young woman beside him. “But why can’t Heather come home with us?”

  “Because this is her home, honey. This is where Heather belongs.”

  He could see that his daughter was on the verge of tears. He couldn’t stand it if both these females started crying.

  He turned toward his car, leaving Heather standing alone.

  As he buckled Brittany into her car seat she turned and waved her little hand. “Bye, Heather. See you tomorrow.”

  He settled himself in the driver’s seat and turned the key in the ignition. Without a word he put the car in gear and took off, watching as the figure in the rearview mirror receded until, as the car rounded a curve, she disappeared from sight.

  He’d thought it would be like taking a knife to the heart.

  He’d been wrong.

  It had been worse. Much worse.

  He felt as though he’d just ripped his heart from his chest and was now pouring acid on the raw, bloody wound.

  Fifteen

  Heather stood perfectly still, watching as Thad’s car drove away. For the longest time she merely stared, seeing nothing, her mind in turmoil.

  What had just happened here?

  He’d hugged his daughter. That was to be expected. But he’d studiously avoided her. Avoided touching her. Even avoided looking at her. And the words he’d spoken had seemed to come from someone else. In fact, as she began replaying his words in her mind, they seemed intentionally cruel.

  We’ve imposed on you long enough.

  We’re a team. We don’t need anyone else.

  This is where Heather belongs.

  …young and beautiful, and you have your whole life ahead of you. The last thing you need is to be tied down with a bad-tempered cop and his kid.

  All carefully rehearsed lines guaranteed to let a person down without coming right out and saying so. She ought to know. She’d dumped enough men in her life to know the drill very well.

  He’d been saying goodbye. She had become an unwanted intrusion in his well-ordered life. He’d wanted a baby-sitter for his daughter, not a lover in his bed.

  She felt her lips quiver and lifted her chin, determined not to cry. She wouldn’t waste her tears on Thad Law.

  She started toward the house and felt the weight of the bottle of bubble solution in her pocket. Without thinking she pulled it out and stared at it, then was forced to blink hard.

  She’d foolishly begun to spin a wonderful fantasy around herself and Thad and Brittany. In her mind’s eye she already pictured herself at the little girl’s school, going on field trips, helping out with activities. She’d seen Brittany in her high-school year-book, at the prom, wearing a cap and gown. She’d even imagined Brittany all grown up, walking down the aisle in a wedding gown, and later dancing with her father, and thanking the stepmother who had been there for her through all the years.

  What a fool she’d been.

  Sti
ll clutching the bubble bottle she raced up the stairs and closed herself in her bedroom. There, crossing her arms over her chest, she began to pace. As she did, she turned her wrenching sorrow into something much more manageable. Anger. Now that was something she could deal with.

  How dare Thad Law treat her like some teenaged baby-sitter. She may have cared for his daughter, but she’d also done a whole lot more than that. And while it was true that she’d made some moves on him, she hadn’t been alone in that regard. He’d made some moves of his own. He’d wanted her every bit as desperately as she’d wanted him. A man couldn’t fake that kind of raw, unbridled passion. And the look of love in his eyes had been real, as well. She hadn’t imagined it.

  She stopped pacing. So, what had happened between yesterday and today to change him?

  There had been a homicide investigation. Hadn’t he warned her that there were dark places inside him? Had this crime triggered something in him? But what? A need to be alone, to brood in private? But why, if he was feeling hurt or angry, had he decided to stop seeing her altogether?

  She began to pace again. Maybe he was simply a man who was afraid of commitment. Hadn’t he said his marriage had been a mistake almost from the beginning?

  His marriage.

  Heather thought back to what he’d told her. He’d given away so little. In fact, if she hadn’t forced the issue, he’d have never mentioned his wife. All he’d said was that she’d been beautiful and blond and wealthy.

  Heather paused in midstride and closed her eyes as the pain of realization struck.

  Thad saw her as another Vanessa. And their situation as a repeat of the first time. A whirlwind courtship, and then…disaster? Hadn’t he hinted that his marriage had been unhappy almost from the beginning? It stood to reason that, because of the similarities, he’d decided to cut his losses and run, figuring if he didn’t, she would, sooner or later.

  With a speed born of desperation she tore open her bedroom door and raced to her uncle’s office. Once inside she asked him for the keys to a vehicle and, without a word of explanation, hurried outside.