Chapter 6
So that night Stacey determined that she would tell Stefan. All through dinner she was fidgety, but so was he. They were at Carly’s and Mandy, the waitress from the first night she’d met Stefan was there waiting on them.
“How is Nick?” she asked.
“He is at home and will be right as rain in a few weeks.” Stacey answered.
“Please tell him I said hello.” She said sadly.
“I will.” Stacey promised.
Stefan took Stacey’s hand, “I’ve got something I want to talk to you about Stacey.”
Oh no, what did he want to talk to her about? Her mind immediately started spinning worse case scenarios. Was he upset that she had talked about Nick? Was he tired of waiting for sex to happen? Was he feeling that things weren’t working out between them? Surely that couldn’t be it. He seemed just as happy as she had been this past week.
“Yes Stefan?” Her voice was a little shaky and she cleared her throat and took a sip of water.
“I know that we have told each other that we love each other. And we have been spending every moment possible with each other. But it’s not enough.” Stefan was getting up and Stacey thought for a split second that he was going to leave, but instead he went down on one knee.
“I know without a doubt that you are the woman that I want to share the rest of my life with. You are beautiful, caring and compassionate. You are my everything and I don’t want to spend another minute where you aren’t my wife.”
He opened the little ring box he had been holding and inside was a beautiful solitaire diamond ring.
Stacey gasped. She looked at the ring and tears sprang to her eyes.
“I know it’s sudden and if you need time to think about it, I understand.”
So much was going through her head. But first and foremost she was not going to keep Stefan waiting. “Yes! Yes! I will marry you.” Stacey threw her arms around his neck and they kissed. Applause broke out all over the restaurant. Stacey was slightly embarrassed by her display of enthusiasm, but didn’t dwell on it.
Stefan sat back down but never broke physical contact. Tears were streaming down Stacey’s face. He inquired, “These are happy tears I hope?”
Stacey used the napkin in her lap to dry her eyes. “Yes you wonderful man, they are happy tears. You have made me the happiest person on the planet. How on earth, did I get so lucky?”
“I keep asking myself that.” Stefan said. “How on earth this goddess hadn’t been snapped up I don’t know, but I’m not taking any chances. I want you by my side for the rest of my life.”
Stacey was so ecstatic, but her mind was starting to work again now that the first jolt of excitement had worn off. They had known each other too short a time for this to be real. Stacey began to doubt. She began to question. But she wanted him to know always that her first answer was yes. How do I bring up my questions?
She didn’t have to worry, as always Stefan seemed to be reading her mind. “I know this crazy. We haven’t known each other that long, but I know my heart. I’ve never felt like this ever before in my life.”
“I feel the same way, but…” Stacey began, but wasn’t sure what to say.
“But?” Stefan prompted.
“I want to marry you, please don’t take this as me backing out in any way, but we need to talk through this.” Stacey squeezed his hand harder and took a deep breath.
“Yes, I understand.” Stefan reassured her.
This gave her confidence to really voice her concerns. “Stefan so many marriages end in divorce, how do we know we’ll have staying power?”
“There are no guarantees.” He answered simply.
“That doesn’t scare you?” Stacey asked.
“What scares me is the thought of not living with you by my side. You have worked your way into my heart in a way that no other woman has. And I have known a lot of women. You’re special Stacey and I know with perfect clarity that you are the only woman for me.” He caressed her cheek.
It was the perfect opportunity to say the words, but still she hesitated. He could see her hesitation and said, “What honey? Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“You have had a different level of experience with the opposite sex than I have Stefan.”
“So?” Stefan asked genuinely puzzled by her line of thinking.
“Well, you’ve had way more experience.” Stacey was still hedging on saying it out loud. She hung her head, cheeks blazing.
He dipped his head to her level and said, “I kind of guessed that you’re a virgin if that’s what all this hemming and hawing is about my love.”
Stacey’s head popped up. “How? Nick told you?”
“No sweetie, he didn’t have to tell me. What let me know was just being around you. You’re passionate, but unsure of yourself. And every conversation we’ve ever had about your past relationships let me know that you weren’t intimate with them.”
“Really? You think the whole world knows?” Stacey asked sullenly.
“This isn’t a bad thing Stacey. It’s kind of what made me want to do this the right way.” Stefan said softly.
Stacey felt horrible. This was why he wanted to marry her? Her expression must have mirrored her horrified feeling. Stefan leaned in closer. “Do you know how much I want you? And how excited I get at the thought of being the first and only lover you’ll ever have? Please don’t see this as a bad thing. I know you’re a good Catholic girl. It is part of why I love you.”
“But you don’t have to marry me to sleep with me. I’m ready to be with you.” Stacey said.
“You don’t need to give me an out Stacey. I am ready to settle down. I’ve been out in this world long enough to know I won’t be missing anything. I love you with everything I am and I want to share my life with you. I want to grow old with you. I want to be the one who takes care of you.”
It finally started to sink in. This man really did love her. It was still so hard to believe. She just didn’t feel worthy. He was not only a wonderful, kind and caring man, he was just good. To his core he was just good. She was so scared of what all this meant, but she was not going to let her fear ruin their chance at happiness.
“Whatever comes our way, we’ll handle it together. Yes Stefan I love you, and I will be your wife.” They kissed again forgetting that they were in a public place. Mandy walked up to their table just then and said, “Congratulations.”
They pulled apart and Stefan answered, “Thank you.”
Mandy asked, “Is there anything else I can get for you?”
“No just the check and we’ll get out of your hair.”
Stacey practically floated to the car. Married. She had never thought of getting married. But just knowing that she would spend every day of her life living with Stefan took all the fear away. She felt at peace. Secure in this man’s love and there was no better feeling that she had ever experienced. Yet.
The sex aspect had her nervous. She did know the basics. Men and women have been doing this since the dawn of time. It was the most natural thing on the planet. So there really wasn’t anything to worry about. But she just didn’t want to disappoint Stefan. She thought about asking Nick for advice, but that would not be a good idea. She would have to train herself to turn to Stefan for everything in her life now.
They were about to become partners and there should be nothing that she would have to keep from him. Nothing that she couldn’t ask him. So she said as they were driving home, “I am nervous about what sex is going to be like. I really don’t want to disappoint you. I mean, what if you find out I’m terrible in bed? Then you’re stuck for the rest of your life with someone who sucks in bed.”
He turned his head to look at her and burst into loud laughter. “No pun intended?”
Stacey got what he meant and blushed furiously. “This is exactly what I mean!”
“Sweetheart, please don’t be embarrassed. Just so you know, I th
ink that sex is an important part of a relationship between a man and a woman. But not for the reason you think. Yes, I am a guy and my brain is ruled by my baser urges a great deal of the time. I can personally say I have had all kinds of sex but nothing makes it better than when you can trust the person you’re with. When you love that person and want to make that other person happier than you want to make yourself. That’s when you’re making love and it’s exactly what I plan for us.” He turned his head again to look at her to assess whether or not she was taking what he was saying to heart.
It still gave her pause to think of the experience that he had. How could she possibly compare to the others he had shared this experience with? But she did trust him. So she whispered, “OK”
“You still don’t sound sure.” He took her hand and held it against his chest. “Stacey I love you. I look forward to doing all that I can to build the trust between us. So that you know you are safe to give yourself to me.”
“But you don’t want to do this until we’re married?” Stacey asked again incredulous.
“I want it to be perfect for you. But we’ll have a short engagement. Very short.” He laughed.
Stacey joined in with him. “A trip to Vegas?”
“We can probably pull something together in a very short amount of time. I know you would like your parish priest to perform the ceremony. We can just have a small gathering. Or were you one of those girls who dreamed of having the Princess Diana type wedding?”
Stacey chuckled at that. “Stefan, before you proposed I had never once thought of getting married. So something small, intimate and quick sounds like heaven.”
He looked thoughtful. “I just wish my mother was in a better mental condition. As her only child she would so want to be there to celebrate when I found the right girl.”
“She still has lucid moments and with medication she can be managed very well.” Stacey said as tenderly as possible.
He looked at her sharply, “I don’t want my mother being managed.”
Stacey squeezed his hand in assurance. “I know, Stefan. As a nurse I’ve seen what this illness can do. You’re going to have to be strong, for yourself and for your dad. It’s not going to get any better and as harsh as that sounds, it’s just the truth. You have to prepare yourself for the worst case scenario.”
He sighed heavily. “I know you’re right. But it’s my mother. This should be the happiest time of my life and it feels like there is a cloud hanging over me. She should be able to be the glowing mother of the groom, cry and fuss over me.”
“I know it’s not fair sweetie.” Stacey said as she leaned her head onto his shoulder, feeling that if she were closer to him physically, he would feel her support.
Take Care of Me Page 12