Never the Bride (Dilbury Village #1)

by Charlotte Fallowfield

  ‘Ok,’ I grinned, quickly taking my place and dangling my legs in the water. Mahi came zooming over, chattering his jaw as he rose up, flippers on my thighs, and gave me a kiss. ‘Ahhh, he’s so sweet,’ I cried.

  ‘Stroke him, Abbie,’ Georgie coaxed as she did the same with hers. I did, and giggled as he dropped back into the water and stuck his snout into my crotch.

  ‘Hey, down boy,’ I laughed. He pulled away when the trainer tapped him and ordered him to go and perform. ‘He’s friendly,’ I grinned over at Georgie.

  ‘I need to know what perfume you’re wearing today, as you’ve got it going on,’ she winked. I looked up as Mahi dipped and dived and zoomed back towards me, rising up to stick his flippers on my thighs as he came for another kiss.

  ‘Steady on,’ I warned him, rubbing under his snout again as he started bobbing back and forth, his tail thrashing in the water.

  ‘Abbie, I need you to slide backwards now,’ one of the trainers ordered.

  ‘What?’ I asked as I continued to stroke him.

  ‘Slide back, slide back away from Mahi now,’ he repeated, the urgency in his voice making me look up at him in surprise.

  ‘Why–’ I began to ask, but was cut off in my prime as Mahi launched himself up and knocked me backwards, my head hitting the bucket of fish as I did, and I screamed as it all slithered out, smothering my face. First corn plasters, now a bucket load of stinky fish. What had I done to deserve this, I wondered. I struggled to push myself up while I held my breath, again at serious risk of throwing up from the smell and gross texture on my skin. I was pressed back down onto the platform as Mahi landed on my stomach, making me gasp for air. His excited cries filled my ears as I felt him bouncing up and down on me, the sound of his tail smacking the water mingling with my panicked gasps. ‘He’s going to eat me alive,’ I shrieked, as various hands quickly tried to move the gutted fish away from my face and chest.

  ‘Oh, Abbie, he’s not hungry, he’s horny!’ Georgie roared. ‘He’s trying to mate with you!’

  I kept my eyes firmly closed and felt myself vomit a little in my mouth as the smell of the small fish, as well as the large one currently trying to impregnate me, got too much. As soon as they managed to slide him off me into the water and helped me up, I turned around and threw up in the bucket they’d thrown his fish back into. When I finally stood up, with my hands on my hips, feeling and smelling pretty grotty, my three companions were trying to hold in their laughter, while the male trainer had gone to try and calm the amorous dolphin down. I gagged again, the smell of fish radiating from me horrendous.

  ‘Come with me, Abbie,’ Juana, the lady trainer, suggested. ‘We’ll get you showered and changed. You can’t go in the water smelling like this or they might bite you.’

  ‘As opposed to mating with me?’ I mumbled, covering my mouth and nose with my hand.

  ‘Are you ok?’ Georgie called as I started to walk away. I put up one hand in a warning. ‘I’m sorry, but it was pretty funny,’ she yelled to my retreating back.

  ‘Ok, we’ve moved Mahi over to Stephen, and we’re giving you Tiki,’ Juana advised as she walked me back to the group, all of whom were in the water with the dolphins now.

  ‘Will he try and hump me, too?’ I asked, feeling a little nervous, especially as three sets of shampoo under the open showers hadn’t got rid of the scent of mackerel. The last thing I needed to add to my battered body and stinky aroma were dolphin bites as they tried to eat me.

  ‘Tiki’s a girl, with a very sweet disposition. She’s smaller than Mahi, too. We called another trainer in so that I can stay by your side,’ she smiled. ‘There’s no need to worry.’

  ‘After the day I’m having, forgive me if that doesn’t reassure me,’ I replied, as she made me sit on the platform to try again. This time she put the bucket of fish behind her as she sat next to me.

  Georgie flashed me a smile and a thumbs up before turning around to enjoy her experience. I swallowed a ball of nerves as Tiki came over. She wasn’t going to try and mate with me and there were no fish for me to fall back into, so as long as Mahi stayed with Stephen, I’d be fine. My nerves soon left me as the pretty little dolphin came to say hello. I swore she had the biggest smile I’d ever seen on anyone, human or mammal, as she came back for a second kiss and gratefully accepted the fish I offered her.

  I squealed with excitement as I was lifted up by Tiki and Georgie’s dolphin, Luna, and flew through the air, held up by the tips of their noses. The excitement was slightly muted when I dropped back down into the water, my body groaning its protest.

  ‘How amazing was that?’ Georgie laughed, clapping as I held onto them and they zoomed me back over to where she was treading water. ‘Best day ever!’

  ‘It may have offset the rest of the day,’ I agreed, my enthusiasm suddenly dampening as I heard Mahi’s name being yelled and spotted a curved Jaws-like fin speeding through the water towards us. ‘Oh God, he’s coming back for me!’ I cried.

  ‘“Run, Forrest, run!”’ laughed Georgie as I quickly started swimming for the platform, Tiki and Luna flanking me as if they knew I was in trouble. That or they were after some kinky dolphin shenanigans with Mahi themselves. Maybe they saw me as competition for the alpha and were about to tag team and take me out. I felt something shove me from behind, which stalled my escape, and I flipped over to try and see what was happening, only to find Mahi was nosing his way into my crotch again.

  ‘Help!’ I yelled, not sure if trying to push him away would anger him. Juana and one of the other trainers were swimming towards me at speed, but Tiki and Luna did a spectacular backwards somersault to dive under water as they tackled him. Not wanting to be an unwanted extra in a potential fishy ménage a trois, I made a break for it and struck out for the platform, which wasn’t too far away. There was a combination of laughter and yells behind me as I started to hyperventilate. I was going to be drowned by a highly-sexed male dolphin, or worse. Did dolphins have penises? This one was so determined to get at me, I wasn’t convinced my wet suit would give me any form of protection. I reached up with shaky hands and hauled myself up out of the water, but either I was too slow or that damn bionic horny dolphin was too fast. He pounced on my back, flattening my upper half to the deck, my legs dangling in the water as he started to thrash against my backside, his flippers whacking my arms as he emitted a load of high-pitched squeals.

  ‘Please don’t tell me this is being filmed as well?’ I moaned, as the trainers struggled to remove him from his doggie, or rather, dolphin position behind me.

  ‘If it is, that’s one video I’m definitely buying,’ Georgie laughed as she hauled herself up next to me.

  Monday

  ‘You know, in spite of everything, I kind of don’t want to go home,’ I sighed, as I did up my seatbelt buckle on the plane.

  ‘I know what you mean,’ Georgie agreed. ‘How are you feeling?’

  ‘Tender. Still,’ I confirmed. I’d been so unbelievably stiff the night we’d returned to our hotel after the waterpark adventures. By the time I’d woken up the next day, I’d had the most horrendous black bruises on my thighs, arms, back, and chest. I’d had to stay in the villa for two days as it was too painful to move. Then I’d only been able to sunbathe in a black kaftan, as I’d looked like some kind of domestic abuse victim.

  ‘And have you made a decision regarding Miller?’ she asked. We’d talked about it at length, but I was still torn over whether to walk away for good or try again to make it work.

  ‘No, what about you? Are you going to ring Weston?’

  She gave me a look and scoffed, then rolled her eyes. He’d finally plucked up the courage to come over and talk to her, and I’d witnessed the painful encounter. She’d been hardly able to talk, which had made him go the same way, so I’d suggested they have drinks and dinner that night. When she returned, with me sneakily watching their embarrassing goodbye, she’d told me categorically that much as she fancied him and still felt a connection th
at she hadn’t with anyone else, it had been the worst date she’d ever been on. Including her date with Wayne Davies, the farmer’s son in Dilbury. I’d winced, knowing how bad that had been. But Weston had returned unexpectedly the next morning to offer her his phone number.

  ‘So that’s it? You’re not going to give him a second chance? He lives the other side of Shrewsbury, less than half an hour from Dilbury, which is an amazing stroke of luck.’

  ‘I’m not the kind of girl who rings a guy. I like them to do the chasing, just like you do. If he rings, we’ll see, but I got the impression he really wasn’t that into me.’

  ‘Wow. Apart from guessing correctly that he was ex-forces, I really got that one wrong. I swore I saw hearts in his eyes as he said goodbye to us yesterday.’

  ‘Well, Mahi and Todd had hearts in their eyes when they spied you, it doesn’t mean you’d have had a great relationship with either of them,’ she retorted as the plane engines started up.

  ‘Don’t remind me,’ I shuddered. ‘Does my hair still smell fishy?’

  ‘It’s gone now, thank God. Right, I’d better get some snacks out to keep us going until they serve the food.’

  ‘Lovely, I’m already feeling a bit peckish despite nearly eating the entire all-you-can-eat breakfast. What did you get?’ I had a craving for chocolate, proper creamy British milk chocolate. This foreign stuff was awful.

  ‘Something to help you get plastered,’ she giggled, as she slapped a packet of the donut-shaped corn plasters on my lap.

  ‘Next time I’m coming with Charlie and you’re staying at home,’ I warned her with a shoulder bump.

  ‘Please. After the last two holiday accidents she had, no one would ever want to go away with her. She’s a walking disaster, more accident prone than you are. And that’s saying something. Ok, you’re not in a corn mood, how about some fish?’ she suggested, pulling out a tin of chocolate sardines, which made me give her a warning scowl. ‘No? Maybe you’re in need of some tender loving instead,’ she suggested, a small stuffed grey dolphin magically appearing from her bag.

  I giggled and shook my head, wondering what other mickey-taking tricks she had in there. Disaster day aside, this holiday had done me a world of good. I felt like I was back on top form, ready to tackle anything.

  The question was whether Miller was at the top of my priority list.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Words Of Wisdom

  I LOOKED AROUND IN shock as I heard the thunder of feet pounding up the wooden stairs to my office. I had no clients due. I’d rearranged them to keep the last two weeks clear so I could catch up on my year-end work after our impromptu trip. The oak door swung open to reveal a panting Georgie. She put her hands on her hips and bent over to try and catch her breath.

  ‘Ok?’ I asked, swivelling around in my leather office chair. She nodded and held up one finger as she gulped down some air.

  ‘Da … Da … Daph … Daph …’

  ‘Daphne?’ I suggested, trying to hurry her to her point. When she nodded, my stomach dropped and I shot up out of my seat. No! What had happened to her? I was not losing Daphne as well. Georgie must have seen the panicked look on my face and gestured with both palms to calm down.

  ‘Jesus, I really need … to get to … a gym,’ she uttered.

  ‘No arguments here, but what’s wrong with Daphne? You’re scaring me, Georgie.’

  ‘Did you know … she was moving?’ She gave me her poignant stare, the one that said she was going to have a go at me if the answer I gave wasn’t to her liking. I blinked at her a few times as I tried to process the question. Daphne was moving? The thought of it made my chest hurt.

  ‘No, where did you hear that? She told you and she didn’t tell me too?’ I asked, feeling somewhat slighted. That waste-of-space son of hers had obviously finally stepped up, but he lived down south. Was he taking her back there? I couldn’t imagine not seeing her every day, getting my daily updates on the village gossip from her or receiving well-meaning, and often very sage, advice.

  ‘I had no idea, until I just … crikey, do you have some water or something, I’m dying here,’ she huffed, as she leaned back against the doorframe and wiped her brow.

  ‘I’m dying here,’ I retorted. ‘And you’ve hardly done a marathon. You’ve run up a lane past two houses.’

  ‘A long lane and a very bumpy one at that. I could have twisted an ankle. I’m really not feeling the appreciation for dropping everything to come and tell you the news.’

  ‘I don’t know the news, you haven’t spat it out yet!’ I reminded her.

  ‘Oh right, sorry.’ She levered herself off the door and walked over to me as I stood with my mouth slightly ajar, wondering when she was going to get to the point. My eyebrows raised as she lifted up my cold, half-drunk cup of coffee and gulped it down.

  ‘Please, make yourself at home,’ I suggested. ‘Would you like some lunch brought in while you finish my accounts? I can just wait until this evening to hear what’s happening with one of the most important women in my life.’

  ‘I can’t do my own accounts, that’s why I pay you. No way I want to touch this lot,’ she retorted as she gestured to the open account books I was surrounded by, and the large Mac screen I’d been studying my formulas on. ‘Jesus, this is my worst nightmare. I hate maths.’

  ‘Georgie! For the love of God, get to the point!’ I demanded. ‘Where’s she moving to?’

  ‘I’ve no idea, that’s why I came here to see if she’d told you and not me. I was going to be really annoyed if you said yes.’

  ‘Then how do you know she’s moving? If Sheila Vickers told you, I wouldn’t believe a word. I’ve heard she’s just been diagnosed with dementia, and not a moment too soon, bless her.’

  ‘No one told me. I was just waving Portia the poodle goodbye after her pre-show cut and blow-dry, and there was a man putting up a “For Sale” sign by her front gate.’

  ‘No,’ I announced firmly. ‘She is not moving down south to be with that waster who doesn’t even want her. If she needs more help, then we’ll take extra shifts. This is her home, she’s lived in Dilbury all of her life. Forget it, not on my watch.’ I grabbed my keys, then Georgie’s wrist, and dragged her out onto the landing.

  ‘I know we see her as family, Abbie, but we’re not. What can we do to stop this? Especially if she wants to go?’

  ‘I’ll never believe she wants to go voluntarily, Georgie, never. She loves this village and … and …’ I stopped and huffed out a breath as I blinked back some tears.

  ‘You’re scared she’s going to leave you too, aren’t you?’ Georgie said softly as we stood at the top of the stairs. ‘That her going means she doesn’t love you, love us, enough.’

  ‘Am I selfish for thinking that? I know I’m not her daughter, but I can’t help but think we’ve been closer to her than her son ever has. She’s really leaving us?’

  ‘I’ve no idea, which is why I’m here. Come on, let’s stop torturing ourselves and go and find out.’ She made me lock up, then took my hand and pulled me along behind her as she trotted down the stairs, having found a renewed sense of energy. We walked with determination up my drive and were halted in our tracks by a ‘Cooee!’ We turned to see Daphne standing on my doorstep, about to knock on the door.

  ‘I’m so sorry, I had no idea he was putting up the board today. I wanted to tell you first, but you were so busy with work and I was trying to find a good time,’ she called, looking as upset as I was feeling.

  ‘You’re leaving us? Leaving Dilbury?’ I asked, the hurt in my voice I’d hoped to disguise shining through, as we headed through the side gate to approach her.

  ‘You really think I could leave you girls and the village that I love? I should scold you both for thinking how little you mean to me,’ she advised with a wagging figure and stern look.

  ‘You actually are scolding us both,’ Georgie observed.

  ‘Well, I’m cross,’ Daphne retorted as she reached out to hold o
nto one of the oak-beam canopy supports. ‘How could you think you mean so little to me?’

  ‘But you’re selling your house!’ I reminded her. ‘Where are you going?’

  ‘Flat on my arse if you don’t get me inside and into a comfortable seat soon,’ she warned. ‘These legs are over eighty years old, they’ve held me up for far too long. Now get the kettle on and I’ll tell you the news.’

  I sighed and kissed her cheek, then opened up. Georgie helped her inside and we all headed to the kitchen. I busied myself getting down some mugs and putting the kettle on, while Georgie settled Daphne in her favourite chair at my table and asked her what was going on, but she refused to answer until we were all sitting down. I took over some steaming hot coffees, then put some of my homemade white chocolate chip cookies on a plate in the middle of the table. Both of them eyed them suspiciously, then looked up at me.

  ‘They have sugar in them, I ate one for breakfast,’ I assured them with a roll of my eyes, then a giggle as their hands shot forwards to grab one each and they started chewing. I sighed as I looked at them. They were Miller’s favourite, which made me sad, but I was relieved that Daphne wasn’t leaving the village. These two women meant the world to me. ‘Come on then, the suspense is killing me.’

  Daphne finally filled us in, saying that she was finding it harder and harder to get up and down the stairs, and that as much as she loved her cottage and living next to us, it was too painful being surrounded by so many memories of her husband. She said she needed to be somewhere that was easier to navigate and that didn’t upset her every time she looked around and remembered happier times with him. I understood her logic. For some people, they’d never want to leave, but I’d had to remove all of the things in the house that reminded me of Sumo, including replacing his favourite armchair. It hurt too much to have them around.

  ‘So where are you going?’

  ‘Well, it all came about during a game of bridge while you were away,’ she advised, leaning in as if she was sharing an important secret, so Georgie and I did too. ‘There’s a few of us widowed pensioners in the village, all of us living in houses that are too big and don’t suit us anymore. None of us want to leave the village, so Albert came up with a very clever plan.’