Marriage: Impossible (Voretti Family Book 1)

by Blackstone, Ava

  Sean’s gaze caught on her legs, visible from thigh to ankle in cutoff jean shorts she’d paired with a black tank top, and missed his chance to pass the semi.

  Watch the road, asshole.

  He hated that he couldn’t stop thinking about her, even as he was speeding back to San Diego, where his best friend was about to make the biggest mistake of his life. He hated how calm and unaffected she was about their disaster of a marriage. But he couldn’t say any of that, so he went with the one safe thing. “Aren’t you worried? Ty is getting married. Out of the blue.”

  “He sounded happy.” Her smile turned wistful.

  Damn. Why was he looking at her again? “Maybe he’s happy now. But what about next week? Or next month?”

  Another helping of guilt piled on top of him. He’d had a chance to prevent this. If he hadn’t been so distracted by Keri at the club, if he hadn’t had so much to drink, if he’d said the right things to Bri, none of this would’ve happened. “They can’t have been dating long. I didn’t even know Ty was seeing anyone until last week. He never even mentioned her name.”

  “Oh my God! I can’t believe I was so distracted I forgot to ask her name!”

  Distracted? More like she’d been freaked out. Hearing Ty’s voice, even from six hundred miles away, had been enough to remind her she didn’t belong in a hotel room with Sean.

  He swallowed the disappointment he had no right to feel, clenching the steering wheel so he wouldn’t do something monumentally stupid like pull her toward him and try to change her mind. He was glad she was realizing how wrong he was for her. It would make it easier to sell her on a quickie divorce.

  “And now Ty won’t answer his phone. I’ve called twice and texted five times. He’s probably holed up somewhere with his mystery woman.” A dreamy smile took over Keri’s face.

  More like Ty was at the Double Down, drunk off his ass because he was taking another shot every time he thought about the fact that he was marrying the wrong woman.

  Sean had to convince Ty to call this sham of a wedding off, or he wasn’t going to be able to live with himself.

  As if she’d heard his thoughts, Keri’s smile faded. “I wish…” She broke off, blinking rapidly. “My parents would be so happy.”

  His chest contracted, like it always did at the faintest hint she might be upset, and no power in the world could keep him from touching her. He took one hand off the wheel and threaded his fingers through hers.

  He wanted her closer, but he couldn’t risk that. This was about comfort, nothing else. “I know, Ker Bear. I’m sorry.”

  The car accident a year and a half ago had been one of the worst times of his life. He’d hated that he’d been so far away from Keri. He’d even thought about taking extended leave, but he couldn’t find a way to justify it. He wasn’t family. He wasn’t her boyfriend. So he’d had to content himself with letters and emails and all-too-infrequent phone calls. It hadn’t been enough. Not when he’d known how bad she was hurting.

  She squeezed his hand. “Most of the time I’m fine. But then something like this happens, and I can’t help thinking about how my mom would drag me to ten different stores so we could find the perfect dresses and my dad would have everyone laughing hysterically at his speech at the reception. They would be so happy that Ty found the right woman.”

  As badly as he wanted to comfort her, he wouldn’t lie. “I wish your parents were here. But more because I know they’d talk some sense into Ty.”

  Her hand slipped from his as she turned to face him straight on. “What are you talking about?”

  “The only reason for Ty to marry some random chick he just met is if—” He cut himself off.

  “If?”

  If he’s desperate.

  “You know.” Sean was such a coward that he couldn’t even make himself say the words. He was the reason his friend was desperate enough to marry a virtual stranger. He hadn’t been there for Ty—not when it mattered. Months of physical therapy had taught his buddy to walk again, but he would never run. He could never go back to the job he was meant to do. He would never be the man he’d been. Sean had taken all of that away from him.

  His ribcage cinched around his lungs. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  She sighed, like he’d disappointed her. “What do you want to talk about?”

  He fought the urge to pour out every one of his poisonous feelings. To show her everything and beg her to fix him. “It’s…uh…nice outside.”

  He was worried she’d call him out on his pathetic attempt to change the subject, but to his surprise, she surveyed the scenery. “You’re right. It’s so beautiful, it’s a crime we’re stuck in here. Want to stop for a hike?”

  He stomped on the accelerator. “Not right now.”

  “Only for a few minutes.”

  They didn’t have a few minutes. Didn’t she understand that? “I don’t want to be late.”

  “We won’t be.”

  “Yes we—”

  “Pull over!”

  “I’m not stopping to take a goddamn stroll when—”

  “No—there’s something wrong! Stop the truck.”

  She was right. That telltale wobble was back. “Shit. Not again.”

  He guided the truck into the closest turnout.

  It took all of five seconds to diagnose the problem. The left rear tire was flat. Again. The idiot at the shop had put the new tire on the right and the patched tire—which still had the slow leak—back on the left.

  “We have another flat?” Keri came up behind him, bringing the scent of sunshine and happiness. Everything he didn’t deserve.

  “No. We have the same flat.”

  “But…I don’t understand. What happened?”

  Simple. He’d been too distracted by Keri to keep an eye on the mechanic. “Never mind. I’ll take care of it.”

  He dug out his phone and dialed the tow company. After five minutes on hold, listening to a cheesy dance song that made him want to punch someone, he finally got through to a human and explained the situation.

  “Where’d you say you were?” The guy asked.

  “Highway 395. Half way between the 89 and the 108.”

  “You’re really in the middle of nowhere, aren’t’cha?”

  “No kidding.”

  “Hold on, now. No reason to get your panties in a bunch.” The guy laughed at his own joke while Sean did some deep-breathing exercises.

  “I can send a truck, but it’s gonna be a while. All my guys are out right now. And you are in the middle of—”

  “Nowhere. I know.”

  “You want me to send a truck or not?”

  “Yeah. Send a truck.”

  “Okay. I’ll have someone out in about two hours.”

  Sean’s carefully regulated breathing devolved into a wheeze. “Two hours?”

  “Minimum. Hope you’re comfortable.” The asshole disconnected on a laugh.

  Shit. Two hours.

  But what choice did he have? The compact spare tire would’ve been adequate to get him to a garage a few miles away, over slow city streets, but not over fifty miles of highway. Not with Keri in the truck.

  Too late. You’re going to be too late again.

  “Sean. You need to calm down.”

  “I am calm!”

  “You’re breathing funny.”

  “No, I’m not.” He was. Like a rubber band was squeezing his lungs.

  He looked away from Keri, at the rocky crags and mountains that surrounded the highway. He wanted to be out there, hanging on to the edge of a cliff by the tips of his fingers, the only sound in his head the rough beat of his heart.

  “I think we both need to work some energy off,” she said. “Sounds like we have some time until the tow truck comes, so let’s take advantage of it.” She pointed at a rusted sign a few feet past his front bumper.

  Willow Junction Hot Springs Trail. Two miles. Strenuous terrain.

  “Doesn’t a hike sound good?”
<
br />   It wasn’t bouldering or skydiving, but if he could work his body hard enough, that voice inside his head would have to take a rest.

  His ribcage squeezed tighter around his lungs, and he made up his mind. “All right.”

  He was counting on a steep climb, but the trail started out flat. If he’d been on his own, he would’ve sprinted, but ditching Keri would be a dick move.

  “Don’t let me hold you back,” she said. “I’ll catch up with you at the springs.”

  “It’s okay. I’d rather hike with you.” The words came out automatically, but they were actually true. The steady cadence of her footsteps soothed him, and the soft lilt of her voice made him smile. Being close to her centered him better than an adrenaline rush ever had.

  They wound through a grove of pines. Highway sounds were replaced by their footsteps, the soft rushing of a nearby creek, and a blue jay’s caw. Dappled sunshine fell through the pine needles, and Keri took his hand.

  An emotion Sean was afraid to name rose in his throat. He swallowed it back, glad when the trail finally steepened and Keri unlaced her fingers, letting him go. He retreated into his body, thinking about nothing but the burn in his legs and the oxygen rushing into his lungs, sealing himself off from his mind and all the damage it could do.

  The incline increased, but Keri kept pace, impressing the hell out of him. He wasn’t running up the mountain like he might’ve on a training op, but he’d set a pace that would’ve left ninety-nine percent of the population in the dust, and she was right there at his side.

  “Been hitting the gym?” he asked.

  “No.” She surveyed the branches above them. “I spend enough time cooped up inside during school. I joined a hiking club when I started college, and we go out at least once a week. Sometimes we do urban hikes, but I like mountains. The steeper the better.”

  His laugh came out like it was the most natural thing in the world. “I’ll bet you do. You always wanted to tag along with Ty and me when we climbed Cowles Mountain, and half the time you beat us. That’s why he never wanted to invite you.”

  “No way. He just didn’t want to take me to Jungle Juice after the hike. And all because I happened to mention to the girls who worked there that he used to wet the bed.”

  “That, too.”

  A pause. Then, “You always let me tag along.”

  “Maybe I wanted you to ruin Ty’s chances with the juice girls. Give me an open playing field.”

  “You were never interested in those juice girls.”

  “Honey, every male over twelve was interested in those juice girls. They were hot.”

  “Yeah. But you wanted more than a kiss from a hot girl.”

  His heart beat double-time. How did she do that? How did she know his deepest secrets without him saying a word?

  He waggled his brows, pretending it was all a big joke. “You’re right. I wanted a lot more.”

  “You wanted a connection. Someone who understood you.”

  He charged blindly ahead. His foot caught in a crevice between two rocks, but he yanked it free and kept going. “Tory would’ve understood me all night long.”

  “Then why didn’t you hook up with her when you had the chance?”

  It was like busting into a building that was supposed to be deserted and finding a dozen armed insurgents. All he could do was throw a flashbang grenade and hope for the best. “Keri MacKinnon. Were you spying on me?”

  “What? No! I might have inadvertently seen something that scarred me for life while I was on my way to the bathroom, but that is not the same thing. I was too busy with my own relationships to watch over yours.”

  Direct hit. Crisis averted. “Your relationships? Are you talking about Jordan Pike or Chris Kingsman?” Sean should stop there, but this role—the teasing older brother—was familiar. Safe. His heart rate steadied even as the climb steepened. “Or…what was his name? Wait—don’t tell me—Jared Lauton.”

  “You remember every single one of my pre-college boyfriends? Maybe you were the one who was spying.”

  “I was the one who had to listen to Ty bitch about it. He didn’t want you dating anyone except the honor society geeks, but you had a thing for bad boys.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “What would you call them, then?”

  “Jordan is an architect now. And Chris teaches tenth-grade English.”

  “Jordan is an architect now. But when you started dating him, he was one fight away from expulsion.”

  “Only because he didn’t understand how to communicate effectively. The second he felt threatened, he’d start cursing or throwing punches.”

  “So you fixed him.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You fixed him. You listened to him. Showed him that you understood him. That you cared.”

  “For your information, that’s called having a relationship.”

  “And then, once he’d gotten his shit together, you moved on to the next project.” What was supposed to be a simple statement came out as an accusation. Because he wasn’t only talking about Jordan.

  He was a project to her, same as those ex-boyfriends. And even thought it was all part of his plan, the thought of her taking off as soon as she thought he was all better made him want to put his fist through a tree trunk.

  “Our breakup was a mutual decision.”

  “Mutual, my ass. He was just afraid he’d lose his man card if he begged you to stay.”

  “For your information, he happens to be happily married.”

  Sean took a deep breath of clean mountain air. Reminded himself that he and Keri would be divorced long before he had the chance to fall for her the way poor Jordan had. “I’m not saying you screwed him over, honey. You changed his life, and only for the better. Because that’s what you do. You’re a fixer.”

  She gaped at him, like he’d called her a pole dancer or an explosive ordinance disposal specialist. “I haven’t even been on a date in almost a year.”

  “Because you’ve been busy with med school. Where you’re learning how to fix people in a different way.”

  “Or maybe I want to be able to wear a white coat and tell people what to do.”

  Her disgruntled look—all wrinkled up nose and squinty eyes—was so damn cute he couldn’t help laughing. “And make them call you doctor?”

  “Exactly. Plus, it’s a lot of work writing neatly all the time.”

  They hiked in silence for a minute, but it was a comfortable silence once again.

  “Sean?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You’re not one of my projects. In case you were wondering.”

  His chest expanded, filled with some emotion he was afraid to name, because it felt too much like happiness. And he shouldn’t be happy about this. If he was more than a project, it would be harder to sell Keri on the I’m-fine-now-so-let’s-get-a-divorce story.

  But it was impossible to turn the happy off. Not when the sun was shining and the voice inside his head was silent. And Keri was next to him.

  He focused on the trail in front of him, letting himself enjoy the peace that came with her presence. He couldn’t deny the connection between them. He needed her in his life. And, if he did this right—made sure their divorce was a mutual decision—he could still have her as a friend. A good friend.

  Before long, they arrived at the springs. Large granite boulders provided a natural basin for the water, and the grove of pines surrounding it gave the illusion of privacy. Except, it wasn’t an illusion. No one else was there.

  Apparently, there weren’t many people who wanted to climb a fifty-percent grade when they could soak in a Jacuzzi at sea level.

  If he was smart, he’d turn around and go back down the trail. He’d had his one night with Keri. Now it was time to maneuver their relationship back toward friendship territory so they could get that amicable divorce.

  But he’d worked up a sweat. In the second he hesitated, thinking about how good the water would feel, K
eri stripped off her shirt.

  One look at her, and his brain stalled. His fingers went to his waistband, but he couldn’t remember how to unbutton his jeans. All he could do was stare. “You’re not wearing a bra.”

  “I can’t with that tank top. The straps show.”

  She stripped off her shorts. Then—oh shit—she took off her underwear.

  He averted his gaze just in time. He couldn’t look at that dusky triangle between her legs or it was all over. “Aren’t you…. You’re not worried we might run into someone else?”

  She laughed—a light tinkling sound that gave him a five-hundred-watt grin. “No one but us is stupid enough to take that trail. Besides, I’m not going to hike back to the truck in wet underwear.”

  She lowered herself into the small pool, and her sigh of pleasure went straight to his dick.

  “Well?” She gave him a siren’s smile. “What are you waiting for?”

  His brain still wasn’t functioning, but muscle memory kicked in, and his fingers worked the buttons on his fly. He shucked off his boxers along with his jeans.

  “Sure you don’t want to keep those on? I wouldn’t want you to feel self-conscious if someone did happen to make it up the trail.” Even the teasing lilt of her voice turned him on.

  “I’ll risk it.” He slipped into the water next to her.

  Perfect. Warm, but not so hot that he was going to be uncomfortable after a little exertion. And there was going to be exertion.

  “Hi.” She wound her arms around his neck, pressing her body to his and leaving him no doubt about what she wanted. What he wanted, too, with a ferocity that scared him. Because this couldn’t keep happening. When they got back to San Diego, he was going to have to cut off the sexual part of their relationship completely.

  He must have pulled back, because her arms tightened around him. “Stop overthinking this. We’re alone and we’re naked and we’re in nature’s perfect Jacuzzi tub. Go with it.”

  “You scare me sometimes. Maybe I am overthinking this, but you’re not thinking enough.”

  “I’ve spent plenty of time thinking about this.” She slanted him a naughty grin. “Believe me.”

  “Did you think about it before you said ‘I do’ in that cheesy wedding chapel?”