Daring

by Gail Sheehy

Gail at New York, 1969. Author shot for “The Amphetamine Explosion.”

  Photograph by Dan Wynn/Courtesy Demont Photo Management

  The New York magazine “family” in their 100-foot-long garret. (Left to right:) Dottie Seiberling, Walter Bernard, Milton Glaser, Aaron Latham, unknown (partially hidden), Clay Felker.

  ©2014 The Estate of Cosmos Andrew Sarchiapone

  Tom Wolfe in full regalia, ca. 1970.

  ©2014 The Estate of Cosmos Andrew Sarchiapone

  Horse race of the New Journalists. This illustration by Arnold Roth, titled “The Pursuit of Social Realism on the Field of Fame, 1972,” appeared in Esquire magazine and depicts the leading practitioners of what was known as “the New Journalism,” including (left to right:) Jack Newfield, John Sack, Michael Herr, Pete Hamill, Jimmy Breslin, Hunter Thompson, Norman Mailer, Terry Southern, Gay Talese, Tom Wolfe, and Gail Sheehy (the sole female representative, leading the pack).

  The hound being trampled by the New Journalists’ horses is labeled “The Underground Press”; the leading hounds are labeled (top to bottom:) Esquire, The New Yorker, Harper’s, The Atlantic, and New York. Their quarry, the fox: “Social Realism.” Note the abandoned hound to the rear of John Sack: Life magazine, which ceased weekly publication in 1972.

  In the back, to the left, is a group leaving the hunt, labeled “American Novelists.” Breaking off from them and trying to catch up with the New Journalists are Gore Vidal, William Styron, Truman Capote, George Plimpton, and James Agee. Above Agee, on a cliff, are “The Critics.”

  © 2014 Arnold Roth

  “Redpants and Sugarman” cover story by Gail, 1971.

  ©New York Media LLC

  “The Midlife Crisis” cover story by Gail, 1974.

  ©New York Media LLC

  Tom Wolfe’s iconic New York cover, “Radical Chic,” 1970.

  ©New York Media LLC

  Debut of Ms. magazine inside New York, 1972.

  ©New York Media LLC

  Gail writing Passages, 1975.

  Courtesy of the author

  Gail and Clay at the beach, 1983.

  Courtesy of the author

  Clay announcing the takeover of New York, 1977.

  ©2014 United Press International

  Mass walkout of New York. (Left to right:) Byron Dobell, Burt Glinn, Ellen Stern, Gail.

  ©2014 United Press International

  Gail, Clay, and Maura in Mexico with a piñata, 1974.

  ©Elena Prohaska Glinn for the Estate of Burt Glinn

  Gail reporting in a Cambodian refugee camp.

  Courtesy of the author

  Clay’s seventeen-year-delayed proposal, 1984.

  Courtesy of the author

  Mohm (right), twelve, meets her new sister, Maura, eighteen, a freshman at Brown University, 1982.

  Courtesy of the author

  “Familymoon” in Egypt. (Left to right:) Mohm, Gail, Maura, Clay.

  Courtesy of the author

  Gail with Hillary Clinton, 1992.

  Courtesy of the author

  Gail with British prime minister Margaret Thatcher, 1989.

  Courtesy of the author

  Gail and Clay at Literary Lions gala, New York Public Library, 1992.

  ©2014 Bill Cunningham

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  WRITING A MEMOIR WAS LIKE nothing I have ever done before. To be sure, I have written hundreds of thousands of words, maybe millions in articles and books, but always the focus was on others. Seldom had I closely observed myself. After some false starts, I came to understand that memoir is a wholly independent genre. It is an act of imagination suggested by things that really happened.

  To learn from a master, I took a course in memoir given by Roger Rosenblatt in the Stony Brook Southampton M.F.A. program. He tried to mute the journalist in me and release the novelist’s sensibility. Yes, my memoir would be about the world I have observed and the literary circle that shaped me, but that was only the container. “All that lies outside you is inside you,” Roger told us. “In that fortune-cookie truth, I think, you will find your memoir.”

  I riffled hungrily through the daily planners that I kept from the 1960s to the early 2000s. They segmented time into neatly uniform units. But memory is a timeless pump of feelings, a surge here, a drizzle there. A year dissolves into a placid lake; a moment inflates into a soap bubble and tempts capture; a day can be an eternity. Feelings, I discovered, believe longer than knowing remembers.

  Fortunately, I had often jotted notes about vivid experiences and fragments of dialogue in those Day-Timers, and from those scraps it was possible to reconstruct the architecture of a passage. Dozens of journals evoked my feelings during times of transition and acts of daring. My younger sister, Pat Henion Klein, was a brave excavator into the family drama we lived through in different acts.

  Colleagues who were generous in offering recollections include Gloria Steinem, Tom Wolfe, Milton Glaser, Walter Bernard, Ken Auletta, Amanda Urban, Richard Reeves, Barbara Goldsmith, Aaron Latham, Tina Brown, Michael Kramer, Steven Brill, Ken Fadner, Jane Maxwell, Cyndi Stivers, and Dr. Pat Allen. I also thank my trusted readers: Deirdre English, Clay’s successor as director of the Felker Magazine program at Berkeley; Kim Barnes, an accomplished memoirist and finalist for the Pulitzer Prize; Muriel Bedrick, Melanie Horn, Sherrye Henry, Mary Howard, and Priscilla Tucker.

  In scraping the sugar coating off my guts, I found the raw desires, the fears and frustrations, the shame and self-loathing that we all feel. Side by side were splurges of creativity, longing rewarded by love, and the laughter that saves us from taking ourselves too seriously. Dredging all this up forces the memoirist to question her choices, only to find the one right answer still elusive, but acceptance easier. I hope my story eases the minds of those who demand of themselves perfection. Everything God makes has cracks in it.

  I was fortunate to have as my literary agent Richard Pine, partner at Inkwell Management, a Hall of Famer in publishing Books for a Better Life. My brilliant editor at William Morrow, Jennifer Brehl, sustained me over two years with unwavering enthusiasm and thoughtful critiques. It was my good fortune to be assisted by two remarkable graduates of the M.F.A. program at Stony Brook Southampton, Elaine Rooney, an incisive reader and researcher, and Genevieve Crane, a skillful organizer and doorkeeper against interruptions. We were kept in coffee and comfort by Yolanda Ormaza.

  A month before my deadline, as I stared at a mountain of pages knowing that I still had another twenty years to write about, I fell asleep at the wheel of my life. Literally. One day on a hot summer Sunday afternoon, stone sober, I dozed off and swerved across a crowded turnpike. It was what I call a God doing, because I hurt nobody including myself, but it woke me up to reach out and ask for help. I turned to Lou Ann Walker, an accomplished editor and memoirist who teaches a highly prized course on memoir writing in the Stony Brook Southampton M.F.A. program. She identified the underlying theme of my memoir, “daring,” and worked tirelessly with me to flesh out the heart of the book and snip out the rest.

  I am eternally grateful to Robert Emmett Ginna Jr., my navigator and my rock from start to finish.

  INDEX

  The pagination of this electronic edition does not match the edition from which it was created. To locate a specific entry, please use your e-book reader’s search tools.

  NOTE: GS refers to Gail Sheehy. Bold numbers refer to picture captions.

  Aaron, Chloe, 415

  Aaron, David, 415

  AARP (American Association for Retired People), 450

  ABC Entertainment, 149

  abortion: of GS, 34–35; GS stories about, 6

  adoption; of Cambodian children, 282–83; of Mohm, 292, 293, 294–96, 312

  The Advertiser, 270

  Adweek, Maura at, 312

  Afghanistan War, 328

  alcohol: GS’s problems with, 430–33, 451; Henion’s (Lillian) problems with, 21, 42, 43, 108, 134, 232, 433

  Alexander, Shana, 183, 279


  Algonquin Hotel, Clay-GS lunch at, 50–54

  Allen, Julian, 94, 102

  Allen, Patricia “Dr. Pat,” 362–63, 364, 366, 371, 381, 386, 406, 410–11, 416, 430, 431

  Allen, Woody, 98, 238, 246

  Alta Bates Hospital (Berkeley, California), GS menopause speech at, 367–68

  American Friends Service Committee, 303

  American Hotel (Sag Harbor), Ginna-GS lunch at, 455

  American Lawyer magazine, 100

  Andersen, Kurt, 242

  Anderson, Carol, 312–13, 314

  Anderson, Walter, 316–17

  Angeles (Clay’s housekeeper), 168–69, 174, 177–78, 312

  Angelou, Maya, 375

  “Annals of Communications” (Auletta column), 94

  anti-Semitism, 100

  anti-Vietnam war protests, 6, 60

  The APF Reporter, 219

  Aquino, Cory, 317

  Arbus, Diane, 4, 85

  Armstrong, Joe, 102

  Armstrong, Louis, Memorial Jazz Band of, 447–48

  Asia: Clay-GS trip to, 280–83. See also Cambodia; Cambodian refugees; Thailand

  Aspen Ideas Festival, 340, 457

  Atlantic Monthly magazine, 102

  atomic bomb, 24

  Audrey (friend), 45, 46

  Auletta, Ken, 93, 94, 257, 259, 260, 261, 389

  Avon Books, 370, 371

  awards/honors, GS’s: bestseller books as, 229–31, 234, 329, 368, 369; and GS as best magazine writer in America, 329; from New York Newswomen’s Club, 10–11, 149; and Patterson fellowship, 219; and Rockefeller Foundation fellowship, 137; for swimming, 18, 19

  Aykroyd, Dan, 183

  Ayurveda, 346–47

  Baer, Tom, 202–3, 273

  balance, importance of, 459–60

  Baldrige, Malcolm, 325

  Baldwin, James, 40

  Ballantine Books, 369

  bank failures, 93–94

  Bantam Books, 230, 370

  Barber, David, 323

  Barbetta’s (New York City restaurant), GS party at, 368–69

  Barrymore, Drew, 156

  Bateson, Gregory, 138

  Baumgold, Julie, 97, 98

  Bay, Robert, 89

  Bay Street Theater (Sag Harbor), GS play performed at, 456

  Beach Boys, 79

  Beale, “Big Edie,” 150–56

  Beale, “Little Edie,” 150–56

  Beale, Phelan, 153–54

  Beame, Abe, 93

  Beatles, 73, 76, 79, 190

  Beatty, Warren, 323, 324

  Beauman, Sally, 207

  Beaverbrook, Lord, 186

  Bedrick, Muriel, 220

  Begin, Menachem, 276

  Bell, Greville. See Sheehy, Albert

  “Belles of the Bar Car” (Sheehy), 119

  Bellows, Jim, 6–7, 8, 13

  Benson, Herbert, 408

  Berger, Sheila, 314

  Bernard, Bina, 314, 454

  Bernard, Sarah, 314

  Bernard, Walter, 83, 93, 102, 259, 314, 390

  Bernice (father’s friend), 21, 43

  Bernie, Brother, 141–42, 143

  Bernstein, Carl, 176, 179, 226

  Bernstein, Felicia, 88–90

  Bernstein, Lenny, 88–90

  Bert the Turtle (cartoon character), 23–24

  The Best Little Boy in the World (Tobias), 95

  Big Al (mother’s boyfriend), 108–9, 232, 233

  Birdwhistell, Ray L., 184, 191, 193

  birth control, Steinem article about, 128

  Black, Hillel, 272, 273

  Black Panthers, 87, 88–90

  Bleek’s Tavern (New York City), Breslin at, 11

  Bloody Sunday (Northern Ireland), 157–64, 186, 198, 205, 211, 217, 316

  “The Blooming of Margaret Thatcher” (Sheehy), 350

  Bloomingdale, Betsy, 6

  “Blue Meanie” (copy editor), 216–17

  Bobbie (Waldorf Astoria night guard), 139, 143–45

  Bogdanovich, Peter, 250

  Bolletino, Ruth, 410, 449–50

  Boston Phoenix, 226

  Boston Women’s Collective, 215

  Bosworth, Patricia, 13

  Boxer, Barbara, 372

  Boyd, Tom, 322

  boy’s bloody face, 158–60, 165, 166

  Bradlee, Benjamin, 146, 155

  Braun, Carol Moseley, 372

  Brearley School, Maura at, 203

  Brehl, Jennifer, 279

  Breslin, Jimmy, 11, 12, 247, 248

  Bretano’s (bookstore), GS’s book signing appearance at, 223

  Brill, Steven, 100, 254, 259

  Bronfman, Edgar, 86

  Brown, David, 73

  Brown, Helen Gurley, 73, 79, 136, 389

  Brown, Patricia Leigh, 330

  Brown, Tina: appearance of, 317; Carter as Vanity Fair replacement for, 371; as Clinton supporter, 400; and Daily Beast, 333, 457; and GS as best magazine writer in America, 329; and GS’s Ayurveda sessions, 347; and GS’s menopause work, 359, 365, 368–69; and GS’s political/world leader profiles, 317–18, 321, 323–24, 329, 341, 350, 353–54; GS’s relationship with, 278; and GS’s stories about Hillary, 397; and Palin article, 333; personality of, 317, 397; and revival of Vanity Fair, 316–17

  Brown University, Maura at, 292

  Bruce, Lenny, 99

  Buckley, Christopher, 389

  Buckley, William “Bill,” 430–31

  Buhai, Suzanna Rosenblatt, 366

  Bull, Bartle, 248

  Burden, Amanda, 246

  Burden, Carter, 246, 247, 248, 252–57, 262

  Bush, Barbara, 333

  Bush, George H. W., 324–29, 333, 372, 395, 458

  Bush, George W., 328

  Bush, Jonathan, 325

  Bush, Nancy, 325

  Byers, Steve, 454

  California: Clay-GS move to, 386–91, 392; GS writing stay in southern, 384–86. See also Los Angeles, California; University of California, Berkeley

  Cambodia: adoption of children from, 282–83, 292, 293, 294–96, 312; Maura-GS trip to, 306–7. See also Cambodian refugees

  Cambodia Crisis Committee, 283

  Cambodian refugees: Clay-GS trip to camp for, 283–85; GS-Mohm book about, 308–9; GS writings about, 285, 292, 295; political awareness about, 306–7; tracing program for, 288

  Cambridge, Massachusetts: Clay-GS in, 408; as Mohm’s home, 408, 447

  Camp David Accords (1978), 276, 277

  “Can Couples Survive?” (Sheehy), 184, 185–86, 210

  Cancer as Turning Point (LeShan), 410

  cancer, Clay’s, 375, 376–77, 406–13, 420, 434–35, 445–46

  Capote, Truman, 183, 271

  careers, GS predictions about, 70–71

  caregiver(s): GS as, 426, 433–37, 439–40; GS’s writings about, 434, 437, 450, 451–52

  caricaturists, 101–2. See also specific person

  Carnegie Mellon University, writing program at, 451

  Caro, Ina, 339

  Caro, Robert, 59–60, 337, 339

  Carroll, Diahann, 177, 179

  Carson, Johnny, 231

  Carter, Graydon, 245, 278, 371, 449

  Carter, Jimmy, 276, 319, 332

  Carter, Rosalyn, 283

  Carville, James, 394

  Carving Board (Oxford pub), and Clay-GS engagement, 311–12

  Cascade Mountains, Kennedy campaign in, 62–63

  Castello di Brolio, Clay-GS visit to, 414–15

  Catch-30, 137, 218, 224, 227

  Catholic Guardian Society, 301

  CBS, 64, 160

  Center for Mind-Body Medicine (Massachusetts), 408

  Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), 351

  Century of the Woman, 373

  Cerf, Bennett, 68

  Chana, General, 299, 300

  change: balance in life and, 459; Clinton (Hillary) as representing, 400; “crisis” as, 219; fear of, 212, 399–400; as good, 212; GS views about, 197, 198, 212, 227–28, 459; and objectives
for Passages, 216; Passages as encouraging, 224, 227–28; and stages of development, 219. See also menopause

  character: Brown’s comments about, 323–24; GS’s study/writings about, 318–19, 322, 329; of Thatcher, 344. See also political profiles, GS’s

  Character: America’s Search for Leadership (Sheehy), 329

  Chartoff, Bob, 71

  Chasing the Tiger (Sheehy play), 451, 456

  Chez Panisse Café (Berkeley), Clay’s Berkeley class dinner at, 387

  The Chianti Tales (Murphy-Sheehy musical), 415

  Chicago (New York City restaurant), 264, 265

  Chicago Tribune, Passages review in, 222–23

  Chicago Tribune Book World, 222

  children. See Cambodian refugees; mothers/motherhood; specific person

  China, Nixon-Kissinger trip to, 174, 178

  Chisholm, Shirley, 127

  Chota (friend), 113–14, 200

  Christian Science, 23, 47

  Citizens Exchange Corps, 187

  “City Politic” (Steinem column), 98, 130

  civil rights movement: Irish, 157; U.S., 5, 47, 58

  Claiborne, Craig, 245

  Clapton, Eric, 190

  Clarkson and Potter publishers, 242–43

  Clayburgh, Jill, 149, 451

  Clinton, Bill: affairs of, 393–96, 397–98, 400; elections of 1992 and, 393, 397–98, 399; elections of 1996 and, 399–400; favorability ratings of, 402–3; GS interview of, 397–98; Hillary’s relationship with, 396–98, 400, 401, 405; Ickes firing by, 402; impeachment of, 400, 402, 404

  Clinton, Hillary Rodham: and Bill’s affairs, 392–95, 396–97, 399; Bill’s relationship with, 395–97, 400, 401; elections of 1992 and, 393; elections of 1996 and, 399–400; elections of 2008 and, 437–39; GS’s research and writings about, 237–39, 393–405; independence of, 401–403; male backlash to, 400; Mandela’s advice to, 400; popularity of, 402; as representing change, 400; reputation of, 401; and Senate, 393, 402–5; social life of, 403; style of, 404–5; supporters of, 339, 439; and winning, 396

  Cocker, Joe, 114

  Coe, Fred, 232

  Cohn, Sam, 210

  Coleman, Morton, 381

  Colombo, Joe, 95

  Columbia Journalism Review, 148

  Columbia University: GS at, 87, 126, 137–38, 141; and GS trip to Soviet Union, 187; student protests at, 60, 87–88