Faculty of Fire

by Alex Kosh

  “That’s right, Alice,” the monster said. “It’s me, Kelnmiir, and there’s no need to attack me or tear me into little pieces. And by the way, I’m still very vulnerable, because I haven’t got my body back into shape yet.”

  That was true, his body looked even worse now than when Alice and I had seen it first. It looked like a huge square snake then, but now it had shortened in length, and Kelnmiir had acquired limbs – long, thin arms and legs – and his face was strangely flattened.

  “All right, all right,” Alice agreed. “You can put me down on the ground now.”

  “Who did you say this monster is?” asked Chas, jumping in the window. “I always thought vampires looked a bit more ... attractive than that.”

  Kelnmiir put Alice down and burst into laughter.

  “I’d like to see what you’d look like if you did what I’ve just done.”

  Alice ran up and put her arms round me.

  “Are you all right?” she whispered in my ear.

  “I am now,” I answered, hugging her round the waist ... kind of accidentally. I could always blame it on my state of shock.

  “And what did you do?” the vampiress asked, taking absolutely no notice of my hand on her waist

  Chas sat on the windowsill and prepared to listen.

  Crunch!

  “Take no notice,” said Kelnmiir, shuddering all over. “That’s the bones gradually moving back into place. That’s really delightful, I can tell you. So why all this? Well, there really was a way from the main hall to the twenty-first floor, you were right, Zach – the Academy does have a system of drains.”

  “But why didn’t the Craftsmen tell us about it?” I asked in surprise.

  “Do you think the Craftsmen could possibly suspect that I can crawl through a pipe only three inches across? Actually, I didn’t even suspect it myself, until I tried ...”

  “Alice, can you do that too?” I asked in a whisper.

  “I think I already told you I have practically nothing in common with real vampires,” Alice hissed with unexpected malevolence, and then added in a gentler voice. “Besides, by no means can every vampire do tricks like that.”

  “Did you say a pipe?” Chas asked. “I beg your pardon. But then why is your face square? I thought pipes were round ...”

  Crunch!

  “So they are, so they are,” Kelnmiir said with a nod. “But these pipes end in square openings ...”

  “It’s a good thing they don’t end in grilles,” Chas laughed.

  Crunch!

  “You know what, lad?” Kelnmiir said in a surprisingly jolly voice. “I like you ...”

  “What way do you mean?” asked Chas, pretending to be frightened.

  “That way,” Kelnmiir hissed ominously. “Pardon me for not saying anything for a while, I have to reshape my brainpan.”

  Alice and I exchanged glances.

  “How horrible,” said the vampiress, expressing my own thoughts. “That must be painful ...”

  “Better not think about it,” I said, trying to distract Alice. “Let’s use the time to come up with a new plan – bearing in mind that we have Kelnmiir with us now.”

  “That’s right,” Chas put in. “Maybe we won’t have to fight anybody now ...”

  “As if you were planning to fight anybody anyway,” Alice snorted.

  “And why not?” my redheaded friend asked indignantly. “I’d soon show those trolls ...”

  I didn’t hear how the conversation went after that. I was completely absorbed in my own thoughts.

  So I had interpreted my dream correctly then? Kelnmiir had shown up, as prophesied! But where were the sword and the broom?

  “E ... er, Kelnmiir, could you answer just one question for me? You didn’t happen to bring the sword and the broom, did you?

  Crunch!

  “At first, I did want to take the sword and the broom. But it just wasn’t possible to drag then through the drains.”

  “So you didn’t take them,” I sighed.

  Now I couldn’t say for certain if I’d prophesied his appearance or not, could I? Not if the sword and the broom weren’t here?

  “Actually, I did take them,” Kelnmiir said rather uncertainly. “Only they’ve ... changed a little bit ...”

  “Meaning what?”

  “I had to trim the broom down and take it off the stick, so it lost some of its power, and I made a kind of dagger out of the sword. But the Craftsmen transferred some energy from the broom into the sword, so now we have a proper weapon.”

  “And where is this weapon now?” Chas asked. “I don’t see it anywhere ...”

  Crunch!

  “It’s back there, where I crawled out. In that state it wasn’t very convenient to carry anything ...

  “I’ll get it!” Chas volunteered. “Only tell me exactly where it is.”

  While Kelnmiir explained to Chas where he’d left the weapons, Alice and I found a comfortable spot ...

  We walked through into the auditorium and I told Kelnmiir what had happened to me as briefly as possible.

  “Now I understand why Alice has those marks on her face,” Kelnmiir remarked. “By the way, if there’s anything like that on the Craftsmen we’re looking for, I can remove it without ...” – he glanced at Alice – “... any side effects.

  “On the matter of side effects,” I said, remembering. “Are the remnants of the broom that you brought with you really functional?”

  “The Craftsmen promised that the whole thing would work. Of course, the power of the weapon has been reduced by an entire order of magnitude ... but it ought to work.”

  “By the way, Chas has been gone a long time,” Alice said casually. “I hope nothing’s happened ...”

  Just at that moment there was an almighty crash in the corridor.

  “Has something happened?”

  “I doubt it,” I said and shrugged. “Most likely Chas has tried out the broom that he heard about from me. He’s a curious guy ...”

  This time I really was prophetic. In a couple of minutes, Chas came running into the auditorium, holding my broom in his hands. He’d even managed to get hold of a stick from somewhere and set the stump of my all-purpose battle broom on it.

  “I knocked a couple of doors off their hinges ... to test the weapon,” he informed us. “But as for the so-called sword ...” – he held out a piece of the sword’s blade, wrapped in a rag to Kelnmiir-- “... there was nothing to test it on ... or rather, no one.”

  “Hand over the broom too,” I said to Chas. “You can’t you go appropriating other people’s weapons.”

  Strangely enough, he didn’t argue, although he was obviously reluctant to let me have the broom.

  “What are our plans from here?” asked Chas, moving on. “We have a good chance of rescuing Shins now. We just have to find him ...”

  “All right,” Kelnmiir sighed. “I’ll give you a hint. “Which teleport did the trolls drag you and this Craftsman into on the twentieth floor?”

  “The third from the left,” I replied automatically.

  “And where does it lead to?”

  “Three floors lower,” Alice answered for me.

  Of course! Why hadn’t I guessed for myself? We’d only made one transit, and we’d ended up on the floor where the invaders had set up their base.

  “Let’s go down to the eighteenth floor and send someone to scout it out,” I suggested. “It’s not a good idea to go straight down to the seventeenth floor. Who knows how many stoneheads there are there?”

  “Excellent,” Alice agreed. “Strange that we didn’t think of that before.”

  I maintained an embarrassed silence. If anyone ought to have thought of it, it was me.

  “More climbing down curtains,” Chas groaned.

  Scene 8

  Half an hour later, when Kelnmiir had completely restored his body to its normal form, we went down to the eighteenth floor.

  “Who’s going to scout the place out?” asked Chas aft
er we all stretched out on the floor in the corridor.

  Alice and I both glanced at Kelnmiir.

  “But wouldn’t you like to do the scouting yourself?” Kelnmiir asked feebly. “I’m not refusing, it’s just that I’m not back to normal yet ...”

  “But what about the spirit of the hunt?” I asked in surprise.

  “Ah, yes, the spirit of the hunt,” Kelnmiir muttered. “Of course ...”

  Kelnmiir went off to scout out the territory, just as we wanted.

  We had so little strength left that while the vampire was away, we sat on the floor and rested. We didn’t even have enough strength to talk to each other

  Kelnmiir came back amazingly quickly. There wasn’t even enough time to have a proper doze.

  “I’ve made a few interesting discoveries,” he said, to our delight. “There are about twenty stonehead trolls ensconced in there, and no people to be seen at all.”

  “Did they notice you?” I asked, just to make quite sure.

  Well, of course I understood that if he wanted to go unnoticed, then he would. He’d proved that more than once already ... But what if he’d already hacked all the trolls to pieces with his stonecutting sword?

  “Of course they didn’t notice me,” Kelnmiir declared, offended. “And what’s more, they won’t notice you either, because they’re behaving like careless children. They’ve only put one guard by the teleports, and they’re wandering around aimlessly. Brilliant invaders they are ...”

  “Amateurs,” Chas added acidly. “Then I wonder how these stoneheads managed to capture the Academy?”

  “That’s right,” Alice put in. “And how did they get into the Academy at all?”

  “The right questions to ask,” Kelnmiir said approvingly. “But we won’t discover the answers to them until we get ourselves an informer.”

  I could have given him answers to a few questions, but they would only have been guesswork. We really couldn’t manage without an informer.

  “Okay,” I said with a thoughtful nod, trying to imagine how we were going to capture a ten-feet-tall stone troll. “This is going to be fun ...”

  Chas got up lazily.

  “Right then, what’s the plan of action?”

  “We go down to the seventeenth floor, and then we act as the circumstances require,” Kelnmiir suggested.

  Act without a plan again? Absolutely no way!

  “No, Kelnmiir,” I said firmly. “This time we’ll take some time to study the situation a little better and figure out the possible course of events, so things won’t turn out like they did last time.”

  “And what happened the last time?” the vampire asked naively.

  “The last time was a total washout. That’s what happened the last time,” I snapped.

  But they still didn’t listen to me. There wasn’t even any discussion, because no one, apart from me, was interested in having one. Chas and Kelnmiir said it wasn’t their job to make plans, and Alice said straight out that with so little information it was simple pointless to make any.

  Anyway, the outcome was that we would have to act on the spur of the moment again.

  Kelnmiir went down first – he simply jumped out the window. Then, after Kelnmiir had checked that everything was quiet, the three of us climbed down the curtains.

  I went down last. The moment my feet touched the floor, Kelnmiir shoved me in through the nearest door in to a room where Chas and Alice were waiting for us.

  “Quiet,” the vampire, hissed. “Don’t walk in plain view along the corridors, only speak in a whisper, and don’t even think of making any noise.”

  As he said those last words, for some reason the vampire glanced in my direction.

  Well yes, of course, I was at fault again. Just because once, purely by chance, I happened to knock over a couple of wooden crates, I was going to be blamed for everything. But I was going to be as inconspicuous as a shadow!

  “Now we have to capture our informer,” Kelnmiir went on. “Alice and I will do the job. Zach, give her the broom just in case and tell her how to use it.”

  While I was explaining to Alice the functional principle of the all-purpose battle broom, Kelnmiir reached in under his cloak and took out a small sachet of something red.

  Blood!

  “So the Craftsmen gave you some blood anyway?” I asked in amazement.

  “How else do you think I could have crawled through the pipe? A stunt like that consumes a colossal amount of energy.”

  He made little hole in the sachet and drank its contents without spilling a drop.

  Chas and I winced, and Alice simply turned away. That was odd – was she disgusted too, or was it just the opposite ... she wanted some?

  “Okay, we’re off,” Kelnmiir said at last. “Sit here quietly and wait for us to come back. I don’t think we’ll be long ... “

  “Look at that, will you, if it’s interesting, it happens without us,” Chas said as soon as the vampires had disappeared through the door.

  “Oh come on,” I said, trying to calm my friend. “What can we do?”

  “I realise there’s nothing we can do,” Chas growled. “But it’s so annoying! We worked so hard studying the Craft, took all those bumps in the process, and in the end none of our knowledge is needed.”

  “That’s nothing,” I chuckled, “just imagine how the Craftsmen are feeling right now. They’ve been studying the Craft all their lives, they have the reputation of near-demigods, and they really can do the most incredible things ... but there they are confined in their own tower and they can’t do a thing. It’s just a great big joke.”

  I was very glad that Chas had started this conversation. At least it would take my mind off things for a little while ... Or would it? I hoped Kelnmiir was going to look after Alice ...

  “Do you really trust that vampire?” Chas suddenly asked.

  “Why?” I asked in surprise. “Is there any reason to doubt him?”

  Chas shrugged: “I don’t know. It was strange the way he appeared in the Academy, at the very moment of the attack ...”

  “He’s been in the Academy since we started our studies,” I reminded him.

  “Sure, sure,” Chas said dismissively. “But that’s what he says.”

  “And Alice ...”

  “And Alice spent a suspicious amount of time on the Craftsmen’s floor. That raises a few suspicions. She was most likely snooping for Kelnmiir, but what exactly was she sniffing out for him?”

  Had Chas gone totally nuts, or what? Now he suspected everybody, even Alice.

  “Drop it,” I said casually. “We’ll ask them later, I’m sure they’ll explain everything to us.”

  “Sure, they’ll explain ...” Chas muttered. “We’ll see about that ...”

  We didn’t talk any more after that.

  Soon Alice and Kelnmiir returned, and we lost all interest in making conversation. They brought a troll with them, and the way they “brought” him was quite original ...

  The first to enter the room was Alice, then came the stone troll with Kelnmiir on his shoulders. The vampire was sitting on the troll holding the sword to his stone neck.

  “Welcome our guests,” said Alice, sitting down on the floor right beside the door. “What fools these trolls are. Honestly, they haven’t even noticed that one of them has gone missing.”

  “We’re not fools,” the troll piped up. “We’re clever. It’s just that we think slowly ...”

  “That’s right, very slowly,” Kelnmiir agreed. “I had to hack lumps out of this blockhead before he realised he was in any danger. The stoneheads are used to the idea that ordinary weapons can’t hurt them ...”

  It was only then I noticed that the troll really wasn’t in the best of condition. He was covered in cuts, and on one hand two fingers had been cut away completely. The marks left by the sword suggested that the artefact was working superbly.

  “How long do you think it will take to convince this blockhead that he ought to co-operate wit
h us?” Chas enquired. “If you’re going to do any more mutilating, warn me in advance and I’ll go out. I don’t like gratuitous violence.”

  “Oho,” said Alice, screwing up her pretty face. “So he doesn’t like violence. A real druid.”

  Contrary to Chas’s suspicions, the troll proved quite talkative. It turned out that the invaders were already caught in the same trap as we were. Why? Because they couldn’t get out of the Academy. The teleport through which the trolls had entered the Academy from the Borderland (just as I thought!) had stopped working after almost forty of the stoneheads had gone into it. At first they’d hoped that their man in the Academy (the spy!) would be able to find a solution. The trolls had plundered the History Museum and gathered all the people from every floor of the tower and herded them into a single hall as they were ordered. The troll didn’t say what which hall – apparently he didn’t know, although he told us what they were going to do with these people. Their Master – that was what they called the man from the Academy – planned to hypnotise all the people collected from the different floors and turn them into obedient puppets. Since there was no way the invaders could get out of the Academy, and the teleports inside the tower had started breaking down, the man had ordered the trolls to seize a couple of Craftsmen to be used for checking the teleports and for interrogation ...