See?
She was being a monster, a hoe, a selfish bitch … and there was nothing she could do about it. Even now, all she could think of was waking Kyle up so she could tell him that things between them were never going to be the same again. That she loved him, that she wanted him, and that he needed to go find Aniyah right now and end whatever they’d had going on for the past two years for good.
Oh my God!
Inhaling a stuttered breath, Reanna shook her head as shame finally washed over her. And no, she still wasn’t ashamed about her actions. She was only ashamed that she wasn’t ashamed about what she’d done. How could she be so cold? To Aniyah? Beside the offhanded ‘fat’ comments that Ronaldo had told her about a few weeks back, Reanna had always felt that Aniyah Clark was a good friend. She was supportive, loyal, and she always had the sweetest and funniest personality that Reanna just found so … pleasant. Despite her faults, her insecurity, her high-maintenance behavior, and her apparent issue with Carter, Aniyah was still a good person. Flawed, but good, just like all of Reanna’s friends.
So why hadn’t she stopped herself last night?
Why had she let emotion cloud her normally moral judgment? She was supposed to be a good person, a kind-hearted woman, but here she was, laid up in her bed, naked with her good friend’s boyfriend, who was equally naked …
Quieting her thoughts, Reanna laid still, waiting for the shame to come. She waited. And waited. And just when she felt a slither of it creep into her system, Kyle interrupted it with the big, rumbling caveman grunt, his arms tightening around her as he pulled her back flush against him, and pressed his face into her neck, kissing her gently before he fell back to sleep, resuming his soft snoring.
Biting her lip, Reanna fought off a giggle in effort not to disturb his sleep.
For a big, scary mafia man, Kyle Valente sure loved to cuddle after a night of incredible sex. The thought made her smile as all traces of shame, once again, vanished, and she rested back against her big, scary, mafia ‘cuddle bunny’.
She laughed inwardly at the nickname. Kyle would flip his shit if he’d ever heard her refer to him as a ‘cuddle bunny’. So, of course, she made a mental note to call him the nickname once or twice when he woke up later …
But for now, as she waited patiently for what was sure to be a wonderfully hilarious part of the day, she decided to stop thinking.
She wasn’t ashamed, and she probably never would be. Being with Kyle felt too right to search for such a thing as shame, and she loved him too much to ever regret expressing her love to him the way she had last night. So she stopped thinking, stopped fearing what would happen between them, and decided instead to just be in the moment.
It was eleven in the morning now, and Kyle had been sleeping for about six hours, and he seemed to be sleeping well. With any luck, he’d stay asleep for at least a few more hours because, God knew, he needed it.
Sighing, Reanna turned in his arms, causing him to stir a bit, and adjusted herself so that she could face him, but before she could turn completely, Kyle had stopped her by resting his head on her chest. Reanna frowned, then attempted to move again, but paused when she seen the expression on his face. He looked … comfortable. Like the position gave him great pleasure, even as he continued to sleep. Sighing, he’d rested his cheek on one of her large breasts, then rested his palm on the other, falling right back into a deep sleep after he did. It was so funny, and so him to do something like that, Reanna could barely fight off her laughter, but she did as to not disturb him. She could only smile as she gazed at him, lovingly running her fingers through his hair.
Eventually, she was able to fall back to sleep herself, still dreaming, and still smiling because of the hope she felt in her heart now. Last night, she’d thought that she would have to wake up and let Kyle go, but now, after what had happened between them, there was a chance that he would maybe … choose her. That he wanted her the same way she wanted him.
Perhaps this was the turning point. The moment she’d been waiting for. Maybe, after last night, Kyle was finally ready to embrace whatever this was between them, instead of fighting it like he’d been doing for the last couple of years. Maybe this would finally be their chance to be together.
Maybe …
~*~
Okay, so it turned out possibility only brought about intense, merciless fear, and time and sleep only brought about good sense, reflection, and the shame that one should have felt the moment after even contemplating having sex with their good friend’s boyfriend, much less actually going through with it.
Reanna stared down at the chocolate chip pancake batter as she continued stirring it, a tense expression masking her face. She was concentrating too hard, she knew that, but she was finding it difficult to calm herself. She’d been like this since she’d woken up and slipped out of bed about thirty minutes ago.
It was now two in the afternoon and Kyle was still sleeping, which was great, of course. She wanted him to. He looked so peaceful, and after what had happened last night, his terrifying nightmare and all, Reanna was happy he’d finally been able to slip into an uninterrupted sleep. She, on the other hand, had awoken before him, twice. And each time she’d woken, her mind had been going a mile a minute, trying to figure out what the hell had happened between them last night … and what the hell were they going to do now that it had happened?
Ugh!
It was already incredibly difficult and they hadn’t even had the morning after talk yet. Not only that, but Braden had called. Four times already. And Reanna was too much of a coward to answer it and tell him that their date tonight, and most likely any other date they had planned for the future was canceled. Even if it didn’t go anywhere serious with Kyle, after last night, Reanna was positive of one thing at least—her relationship with Braden was not going to work out.
“Morning, bubbles.”
Startled by the abrupt sing-songed greeting, Reanna jumped. “Morning!” she squealed through a surprised gasp.
Holy shit!
Holy shit, shit, shit that scared the crap out of her. Reanna looked to the ceiling, inhaling a deep breath. Be calm, she chanted to herself in effort to slow her rapidly beating heart. She’d freaked out. For a second there, she thought Kyle had entered the kitchen. But no. Thankfully it wasn’t Kyle, just Ronaldo.
“Sorry,” she breathed through soft laughter, lifting a hand in his direction. “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting … Just, sorry.”
Instead of responding, Ronaldo just stood, staring at her, eyes widened with his hand on his heart and giving her a striking ‘what in all the hell?’ frown. “What the fuck is wrong wit chu, girl?”
Feeling her cheeks warm, Reanna bit her bottom lip, giving a slight shrug of her shoulders.
Ronaldo dropped his hand from his heart and entered the kitchen fully. “Your jumpy ass almost gave me a damn heart attack, Reanna. It’s too early for that shit.”
Frowning, Reanna released her bottom lip. “But it’s almost two-thirty,” she said, peeking over at the clock on the microwave. It wasn’t morning either.
“It’s early for me,” he argued, strolling over to the coffee pot on the far side of the kitchen. “Hell, Tamara and I just got home at five this morning.”
Reanna rolled her eyes at his grumpy tone. “Well, I didn’t tell you to stay out so late, did I? So why are you being rude to me?”
“Because you scared me.”
“Well, I didn’t mean to,” she defended herself, turning back to the batter, continuing to stir. “You just … startled me, that’s all.”
“Mmmhmm. Why so? You tryna hide somethin’?”
Pausing at his words, Reanna turned to face him, finding him getting coffee. “Wh-what do you mean hiding?” she asked, her nerves causing her voice to shake. “I don’t need to hide anything.”
Ronaldo turned to look at her, a confused frown masking his face. “I was kidding, Rea,” he said, then shook his head again. “What’s going on with you this morn
ing, bubbles? Why are you acting so weird?”
Reanna’s eyes widened and she shook her head. “I’m not weird,” she said far too awkwardly, turning back to the safety of her batter. “I’m just … hungry.”
She heard the unmistakable sound of Ronaldo’s lips smacking before the door to the refrigerator opened next to her. “Whatever, bitch, you’re weird.”
“Who’s weird?”
Another voice at the kitchen entrance sounded, making Reanna jump yet again.
Dammit!
Closing her eyes tightly and clenching her teeth, Reanna silently chided herself for being such an idiot. Pulling herself together, she turned to face her sister, who stood at the kitchen pathway in her favorite pink and purple flowered robe, staring over at her, her brows furrowed and a confused look in her brown eyes.
“Umm, did I startle you?” she asked, slight laughter in her voice. “What was the jump for?”
Reanna kept her mouth closed as to not say something else stupid. Instead of speaking, she offered her sister a shrug of her shoulders, then turned back to the batter. Jesus Christ, what the heck was wrong with her? Ronaldo was right, she was being hella weird and she didn’t even know why.
Just tell them, Reanna! It’s not like they won’t find out when Kyle wakes up.
Reanna bit down hard on her bottom lip. Shit, she cried in her head. She couldn’t say anything. They’d judge her. Call her a hoe. This was completely out of left field, for Christ’s sake! Just the other day she and Tamara had been going at it over Reanna and Braden’s newly renewed relationship, during which Reanna had convinced Tamara that she wasn’t ‘running’ from her feelings for Kyle, just moving on. To admit to Tamara that she’d been lying, that she was full of shit, and actually was trying to run from her feelings for Kyle would really suck.
Coward, her conscience vexed her, making Reanna scowl down at her chocolate chip filled batter.
So what if she was a coward. She was human. Humans were allowed a few imperfect moments here and there …
“Damn, girl,” Tamara said, coming up behind her, interrupting her thoughts.
Reanna looked over her shoulder just as Tamara reached forward and swiped her finger through the batter, scooping up a nice amount with her finger.
Her mouth dropped with a gasp. “Tamara, no!” she yelled.
She reached out to stop Tamara’s progress before the finger made it to her mouth, but her sister was too fast. She popped her finger into her mouth with a smile on her face, knowing full well that Reanna hated it when she ate uncooked food.
“Dammit, Tamara!” She smacked her little sister’s hand away from her own mouth, scowling when she only laughed. “You’re so nasty. I tell you every time, there are raw eggs in that.”
She shrugged. “But it’s good,” she stated, licking the remainder from her finger. “You make the best pancakes.”
While she agreed with her sister’s words—she did indeed make the best pancakes— she was still upset. “I don’t care,” she said sharply, giving her sister’s hand another slap. “Don’t eat the food before it is cooked, nasty ass.”
Tamara chuckled as she turned away, walking the small distance to the refrigerator. “My, aren’t you grumpy this afternoon.” She shot her a sly look. “Bad date last night? It’s not like you to sleep in this late, even on a Saturday.”
Pursing her lips, Reanna looked away from her sister. “I’m sure you hope it was a bad date,” she shot. “But, unfortunately for you, the date was nice.”
Yes, Reanna felt shame when she looked away from her sister, not because she lied, but because she’d told the truth. Her date with Braden had been nice … really nice. Ugh! Man, it was such nice date.
Feeling that shameful tightening in her belly again, Reanna’s features scrunched up as she brought her hand to her face and pinched the bridge of her nose. She was screwing up. But in her defense, she’d never been good under pressure. And she was a crappy liar. She wanted to tell Tamara, tell her that she felt like a horrible person for betraying both Braden and Aniyah, but she couldn’t bring herself to. She was too … ashamed of herself, not to mention she was still terrified about what would happen once Kyle woke up.
Would he slip out of her house? Beg her not to say anything to Aniyah? Or would he … be cool about it? Maybe expect this to be a normal thing … want her to be the other woman.
No.
Kyle wouldn’t do that to her. He knew she’d castrate him if he even tried. No. They’d definitely be talking about this. Reanna knew that. She just hoped the conversation would go the way she was hoping it would go.
“Reanna!”
Startled, yet again, out of her thoughts, Reanna glanced at her sister, a frown now covering her face. “What?” Couldn’t the woman see she’d been thinking? “You’re screaming.”
Tamara returned her frown, placing her hands on her hips. “Because you zoned out. Again,” she replied with extra emphasis.
Sighing, Reanna shrugged. “I was thinking, Tamara.”
“I see that,” she said, her tone suspicious. “You seem distracted,” Her frowned deepened. “And weird …”
Reanna swallowed, lowering her gaze uncomfortably.
“What’s going on?” Tamara asked.
She lifted her eyes as soon as the words left her sister’s lips. “What do you mean?” Shit, Tamara was about to pull the damn truth out of her.
“Your face.” She motioned toward her furrowed brow. “You’re hiding something.”
Reanna shook her head.
“Rea,” Tamara sighed, rolling her eyes. “I don’t even know why you’re trying. What is it?”
“N-nothing,” Reanna lied.
“Nothing my ass,” Ronaldo said, walking past them to sit in one of the tall seats at the island. He took a sip of his coffee, then smacked his lips. “She’s been tripping since I got in here.” He motioned toward the bowl of batter. “Been stirring that bowl full of chocolate, too.”
“It’s pancakes,” Reanna exclaimed, offended by his description of her batter.
He just rolled his eyes. “Whatever it is, it don’t take that long to mix it, bubbles. What are you hiding?”
Reanna scowled, snatching up her bowl of batter then walking over to the stove and flipping on one of the burners. “I’m not hiding anything.”
“Liar,” both Ronaldo and Tamara accused simultaneously.
Reanna huffed, grabbing a skillet from the cabinet next to her. “I’m not a liar.” Just a coward. “And I don’t have to explain myself to either of you heifers, so kiss my ass.”
Apparently finding her words amusing, both Tamara and Ronaldo laughed.
Ignoring them, Reanna finally began the process of making brunch for Kyle … and whoever else wanted some. But mostly for Kyle. They’d had a long night after all, and Reanna was sure that after putting in so much … work last night, Kyle would be in need of nourishment once he woke up. The thought of how much ‘work’ Kyle put in during their evening of passion made Reanna’s cheeks warm as yet another memory of their coupling made its way to the forefront of her mind. She kept her reaction to the vivid memory as discrete as she could, but the task wasn’t easy. The memories were still too fresh. Every time one of them hit her unexpectedly, it set off a fire in her body that Reanna instinctively knew could only be put out by Kyle. No man had ever been so … careful with her. Not like Kyle had been last night.
She smiled at the thought.
He had been quite gentle last night—after their first spirited encounter of course— and Reanna more than appreciated that fact. It was like he knew what she needed without her even telling him. She’d never been with a man that cared so much. He’d made her feel like she mattered, like she meant something to him, all while giving her the most insanely amazing sexual experience she’d ever experienced. Even now, while she cooked his brunch, she could still feel the after effects of all the incredible things he did to her body hours ago.
She wanted to go back to
bed with him. Maybe pick up where they’d left off before they’d fallen asleep …
Crossing her legs at her ankles, she pressed her thighs together. No, she thought firmly. She was thinking like an addict. Just because he was back there in her bed, naked, and most likely willing to go another round, didn’t mean she could just abandon all sense, again, and just … attack the man. She needed to stay in the kitchen, make the man some good food, and stop being a bad girl! It wasn’t that hard—
“Whatcha thinkin’ about?”
With a loud gasp, Reanna squealed and jumped back from her sister, who was now standing next to her, staring directly at her face.
Both shocked and amused by the silly woman, she lightly pushed her sister’s arm. “What are you doing?” she yelled through her laughter.
Tamara laughed, stumbling back. “I was just looking at you.”
“Well stop,” she chuckled, pointing at the woman’s face. “Leave me alone. You’re so damn nosey …”
She shook her head. “Not a chance. Not until you tell the truth.” She pointed to the pancakes. “Who are those for?”
Slightly lifting her brows at the question, Reanna glanced down at the pancakes. “Everyone,” she answered, giving a slight shrug of her shoulder. “I thought we could use some brunch.”
“Mmmhmm.” Her sister nodded. “Then why are you making so much?”
Now the smile fell from her face as she swallowed. Fighting off the sudden feeling of the walls closing in, she shook her head. “I’m hungry …” At least it wasn’t a lie this time. She was indeed hungry. That just wasn’t the reason why she’d made the extra food.
“Okay,” Tamara said slowly. “So you’re not making extra for say …” she made an exaggerated thinking face, then pinned her with a knowing look. “Braden Harrison?”
Reanna’s eyes widened. “What?”
Oh shit.
Tamara clapped her hands as if she’d just crack a case. “I knew it!” she yelled triumphantly, turning back to Ronaldo. “I knew it, I knew it!”
Dangerous Beauty: Part Four: Beautifully Broken Page 19