Plead Forgiveness (Loyalty Series)

by Aury Dobsyn

  “Very well then, I will show you,” she said before jumping off the boulder.

  Apollo was still grazing when she said, “Accendo.”

  Without hesitation Apollo trotted over to her.

  “Consurgo.”

  Apollo reared up as his front hooves attacked the air.

  When he came down, she continued, “Calcitro.”

  The beast kicked his back legs out.

  “Accumbo.”

  Apollo lowered his body to the ground, so he lay on his side.

  “Eu.”

  When he rose to his feet, Ella rewarded by stoking his nose with affection.

  “Aqua.”

  Apollo trotted over to the water and began to drink.

  Gavin was flabbergasted at the skills she had taught her horse and all with verbal commands. When she returned to his side, he asked, “Ye have taught other horses this as well?”

  “Aye. ‘Tis nae so hard if you know how and are patient,” she stated with modesty.

  “If ye are willing, I would verra much like ye to train our horses. Colban and Leif will assist ye. I also believe some of my men would like to learn yer methods and help ye with this task. The miraculous transformation in Righ has encouraged them to approach me on the matter.”

  “Aye, I would enjoy that very much,” Ella said, thrilled at his support and confidence in her abilities.

  As the sun climbed to its peak, warming the countryside below, their conversation drifted from horses, to educating children, to improving clan revenue. Her keen mind and depth of memory impressed Gavin, but it was her innovative ideas that held him enthralled.

  “Plato believed all knowledge is innate from birth and perfected by experiential learning during growth, until death,” she explained. “If this is true then children, males as well as females, should become apprentices of master craftsmen at an earlier age. Boys training in the art of warfare begin as young as six summers, yet the boys who train to be craftsmen begin their training at the age of ten and two. What think you of that?”

  Gavin did not give his opinion, but said, “Most master craftsmen hold the firm belief that children who apprentice too young are nae mature enough with the responsibility that comes with the position.”

  “Then why do boys trained in warfare begin so young?

  “So they can develop their bodies in strength, reaction and skill which takes years.”

  “Developing the mind also takes years,” Ella countered.

  “Aye, I agree,” he said, thoroughly enjoying himself. “The problem lies in getting the master craftsmen to agree to take on a younger apprentices.”

  “I have a solution to that as well.”

  “I’m sure ye do,” he chuckled.

  Ignoring his mirth and doubt, she began, “Ye have many master craftsmen among the Macleods; blacksmith, carpenter, tanner, weavers and candle makers to name a few. But, there are trades that ye must depend on other clans to provide, such as masonry, architecture, wool-stapler and skinner. Barter apprenticeship with other clans.”

  Thoughtful for a few moments, Gavin earnestly stated, “I have ne’er thought to do so, but the idea has merit. I will speak with the craftsmen on the matter. If they are in agreement, I will negotiate with the other clans.”

  “The duration of the apprenticeship can be determined by the master craftsmen, but with set time for the child to return home for visits. If I was a mother, I would not want my bairn away from me for so long without seeing them, which is customary.”

  Gavin smiled at the thought of her as a mother, with her fierce protectiveness. Softening his tone, he said, “Aye, one of the terms included will be regular home visits. Do ye have any other innovative ideas?”

  “Aye,” Ella enthusiastically replied. “With your ample production of wool, flax and cotton, women could be sent to the Flemish master weavers to improve their skill as well as learn to use the latest inventions in spinning. Brother Michael from the abbey spoke of new frames that made the production quicker and the product of better quality. This would increase clan revenue.”

  I dinna ken ye had an interest in weaving.”

  “I assure you, I don’t,” she said with a chuckle. “Brother Michael is one of the monks from Westshire Abbey, and he often spoke of his home in Flanders. His kin, you see, are among the master weavers who are known for making the most beautiful and sought after religious tapestries in the world.”

  “I have merchant vessels that travel to France. Would this Brother Michael be willing to write his kin on our behalf.”

  “Aye, he would be most willing.”

  “Then that is what we will do. Now, which of the weavers should we send?”

  “Mayhap, Helena and her husband. As a carpenter, Iain will be allowed to assist in making their looms, thus will be able to reproduce it when they return.”

  Here was a true mate, Gavin thought, one whose value is beyond measure. Most of the women who coveted being his wife would have limited their duties to only running the castle and bearing his children. Never would they have worked with him to further the success of the Macleod Clan.

  A sudden thought came to mind, which Gavin then voiced, “I believe they are a wise choice, but what if Helena is breeding.”

  Ella chewed her bottom lip before saying, “I don’t think we have to worry about that for some time.”

  “Explain,” Gavin said, recognizing that secretive expression of hers.

  “Helena told me that she and Iain would like to hold off on having more children.”

  “Did she ask ye for herbs that would prevent conception.”

  Momentarily speechless, Ella finally confessed, “Aye, but I told her that I would only provide them once I spoke with Iain.”

  “Wisely done. If in the future she would like to bear more children, will she be able to do so?”

  “Aye, once she stopped taking the herbs, she will be as fertile as she was before.”

  “I take it they have been using other methods to prevent conception,” Gavin said with a slight smirk.

  Ella felt her cheeks flame when she explained, “Aye, when they . . . they make love, he does not spill his seed inside her. Helena explained that this method takes away the pleasure of the act.”

  Gavin’s deep chuckle followed her words.

  “Aye, I canna argue with that. I’m nae against women taking these herbs, as long as their husbands give ye consent. But, I believe there are other reasons Iain and Helena wish to prolong having another child.”

  “What other reasons?”

  “Helena almost died bringing their last child into the world,” he explained in a serious tone. “Iain dinna want to risk his wife by having her birth a child every year. ‘Tis nae healthy for a woman to bear a child so often, regardless of what the church says on the matter.”

  The shock of this welcomed discovery hit her full force. “May I ask how you learned such valuable information?”

  “Alex Mackenzie’s wife was an extraordinary healer. Although she is no longer with us, Alex imparts her wisdom to all who will listen and benefit from such knowledge.”

  “I am impressed. Most men want as many children as their wives can produce.”

  Gavin’s eyes locked with her when he stated sincerely, “If a man cares deeply for his wife, then two or three bairns are more than enough.”

  Although he had neglected his duties shamefully this day, the smile Ella bestowed upon him made it all worth it in the end.

  57

  Clouds covered the sun, cooling the morning air when Ella and Gavin reined in their horses and took them to the burn. For the past sennight an unspoken agreement had been established to ride together for a few hours each morning. And so far, only pleasant conversation passed between them.

  “It was built by King Richard for the sole purpose of breeding the horses he brought back from the crusades. Their horses differ from our own, being faster and having more endurance,” Ella explained as Gavin tucked a piece of her hair be
hind her ear.

  Her voice was silky, he thought, but it was that arresting smile of hers that had rendered him speechless more than once this morning.

  Giving his attention back to her words, he asked, “Why dinna Richard give one of his noblemen the duty to breeding the horses he brought back from the crusades?”

  “Richard believed that the monk’s records of breeding lines would be more accurate than that of his nobles, and that they would be more honest and patient in their work.”

  “Aye, ‘twas wise, and I am glad they were good to ye.”

  The jubilation Ella felt being with Gavin as they rode across the land or engaged in endless conversations had begun to soften her heart toward him. It was obvious that he cared for her and acted to protect her as well as her family. She no longer blamed him for her aunt and uncle’s deaths, realizing Philip’s true intentions. But, regardless how much she came to respect her husband, mayhap even love him, in the end it would be for naught. Once he discovered who she was, he would banish her just as her father had done.

  When Gavin saw the animation leave Ella’s face, he asked, “What’s amiss, little one?”

  “I think we need to return to the castle,” she replied, hiding her true emotions. “I promised to look in on Colban as well as Rachel. Her time is near, you know.”

  He was not fooled, but he let it go and said, “Aye, I ken. Our midwife has been tending the wife of one of Mackenzie’s men, but she has been sent for.” He paused then asked, “Will ye ride with me again on the morrow?”

  “Aye, if that is your wish.”

  “Aye, that is what I wish, that and much more,” he said in a husky voice as he lifted her to Apollo’s back.

  Ella was not ignorant to the underlining meaning of his words and choose to remain silent while they rode back to the castle. Her heart was still pounding in her chest when she reached her chamber to change into a gown, but it was not from sprinting up the stone stairs, rather from the impact of Gavin’s words.

  As she leaned back against her chamber door, taking deep breaths to calm her racing heart, a terrifying realization washed over her. What would her father and brothers do when they discovered her here in Scotland, married to Laird Macleod? The Macleods and Mackenzies were united by her oldest brother, Keir, and his marriage to Gavin’s sister, Eva.

  Wife to Gavin, she may be, but once her identity was discovered that would end. It broke her heart to admit the truth, that soon the Macleods would not want her, just like the Mackenzies.

  The next fortnight Ella slowly emerged from her grief as she spent more and more time with Gavin and his family. She began taking the midday and evening meal in the hall, but continued to break her fast with Ualan and Fin, who had become close friends and confidantes.

  Like Colban and his family, Ualan and Fin continued to encourage her to forgive her husband. Their loyalty to Gavin was evident, but they made sure to let Ella know they were loyal to her as well.

  The smell of fresh baked bread hung in the air of the kitchen one morning, while Ella tried to explain to Ualan and Fin why she could not accept Gavin.

  “I do not belong here. I bring nothing to the clan.”

  Ualan stopped rolling the dough in front of him and then looked at her with a stern expression. He slowly said, “Nae, lass. Ye bring joy to all those around ye, especially to me and Fin.”

  Fin nodded her agreement as she showed the whiteness of her dazzling smile.

  “There is something I have done that I am nae proud of, things which would cause you to regret those kind words,” Ella said, averting her gaze.

  Ualan and Fin looked at each, startled by her confession, then each took a seat next to her.

  Fin put her arm around her shoulders and asked, “Ella, we have come to love ye more than ye will ever ken, and there is naught that ye could have done that would change the way we feel about ye.”

  “I love you both, too. That is why it will hurt when you find out the horrible thing I have done.”

  Ualan’s first thoughts had been that she had lost her maidenhead before becoming Gavin’s wife, but it was dismissed since he had seen evidence of her purity on the bedding sheets the morning after their wedding.

  In a soft voice that was uncommon to all but the two present females, Ualan asked, “Lass, will ye tell us what ye believe ye have done?”

  “Nae, but soon all will know and hate me,” Ella confessed.

  Fin asked, “Did ye commit this horrible act before or after ye came to the Macleods?”

  Enshrined in acute misery, she replied, “Afore. . . many years ago.”

  Knowing that Ella was only ten and eight, he asked, “How old were ye when ye committed this grave sin?”

  “Ten summers.”

  Ualan tried to think of some heinous act that she could have committed, but hearing that she had been still a child, made him expel the breath he was holding. It was merely a child’s foolish imagination that led to her belief, he told himself. However, she was no longer a foolish child, so why did she still believe such folly?

  “Yer were but a child,” he began, “what could ye have possibly done to warrant such a belief?”

  “I wish I were strong enough to tell you, Ualan, but I cannot. I am truly sorry, I should nae have spoken of it.”

  “Nae, lass,” Ualan said as he covered her hand with his. “I am glad ye trusted us enough to speak of it, even if ye have nae revealed all. We will not tell a soul of what ye have spoken this day, but ken this, ye are nae alone. Ye will ne’er be alone.”

  He stood, then walked over to check the ovens before continuing, “We have all done things we have come to regret. Time is an amazing thing. It can bring wisdom and the ability to see clearly events of the past. Ye fear what others will discover, but mayhap what ye remember is nae what others would see.”

  Ella walked over and hugged him as she said, “Thank you. I will think much on your words.”

  He gave her a quick squeeze, then said in his usual gruff tone, “Now be gone! Food dinna cook itself, so there is much work to be done.”

  The two women giggled at the capricious man whose mood and tone changed as often as the direction of the wind. After quickly hugging Fin, Ella left for the stables and remained unaware that a person lurked in the shadows.

  Ualan asked, “Ye heard?”

  “Aye, I heard,” Gavin replied as he walked into the kitchen.

  “What do ye make of it?”

  “I dinna ken, but intend to find out,” he replied to his trusted friend. “Eight years she has carried this burden. . .” he paused for a moment to make a few connections in his head. “Eight years ago her parents were killed, she was then sent to live at Greystone and Philip became her guardian.”

  “So ye think it has to do with her parents’ deaths?”

  “Aye, it would make sense. She refuses to speak of her parents or how they died, so mayhap she blames herself for their deaths.”

  Fin interjected, “As a child, Ella may have blamed herself for their deaths, but as a grown woman, I find it hard to believe that she would nae see the truth of the matter.”

  Gavin mulled over her words, then said, “Unless it had been confirmed continuously for eight years.”

  Fin exclaimed, “Dear God, who would do such an evil thing to a child?”

  “Her guardian, the Baron of Greystone.”

  Outraged, Ualan asked, “Why would he want to do that to the lass?”

  “Philip told Ella that death follows her,” Gavin explained with a pained look in his eyes. “First her parents, then on the day she arrived at Greystone Eleanor’s father, sister, niece and lastly her own child.”

  Fin gasped at the horror Ella had faced after losing her parents. She wanted to weep for her new friend for what that despicable Philip of Greystone had done to her.

  Ualan was equally aghast and asked, “How did ye learn of this?”

  “Sir James explained all to me afore he left. He dinna ken Ella’s parents, since one
of them was a distant relation from Eleanor’s mother’s side of the family. Eleanor and James shared only the same father, nae mother.”

  Ualan nodded his head in understanding, then said, “Go to her now. She needs ye more than I realized.”

  “Thank ye both for being so good to her.”

  “We are the ones who should be thanking ye,” Ualan confessed.

  He nodded, then left the kitchen in search for his wife, whom he found moments later in the stables.

  58

  Riding at neck breaking pace beside his wife, Gavin realized that when something plagued Ella, she rode as if the devil himself were chasing her. Almost two months had passed since she had come into his life, in which time he had learned many of her habits and the emotions they reflected.

  When she tucked her hair behind her ear or bite her bottom lip, she was nervous. When she became playful like a child, often challenging him to a race or it was because she was happy. Another trait she showed when she was in high spirits was to talk non-stop; this was Gavin’s favorite because it allowed him to see that her beauty ran clear down to her soul.

  He also learned that his little wife was quite opinionated and not the least bit concerned with voicing her beliefs or concerns. Her gaze never wavered as did other women and most men, even when they debated a topic. And Gavin firmly believed that the truth could be found in the eyes and when people lowered their gaze, it showed their greatest weakness.

  Being a confident, intelligent woman, she never capitulated without a fight. If he happened to prove her wrong, she would graciously concede defeat, something most people of nobility rarely did. He found himself following her lead when she proved him wrong, but since neither of them was one to gloat, it made surrendering a point easier.

  There debates were often over women’s clothing, horses, proper nutrition for warriors, weapons, castle improvements, village improvements, in addition to philosophy and history. Gavin had never spent so much time just talking and debating with a woman, but he found both highly enjoyable with Ella.

  Ella was also exultant with the turn in their relationship, even though she was loath to admit it. Her husband was able to make her laugh just as easily as he made her think. The mental challenge that surrounded their conversations intrigued her, but it was the way he looked at her that held her breathless and completely spellbound.