Going Home

by Mohr, Nicholasa

  “You were great standing up to her,” said Provi.

  “Really, Felita, it was good to see.” Saida laughed.

  “Absolutely,” said Judy. “I loved Anita’s face when she had to back off.”

  As we walked into the game room everyone became quiet and looked up at me. I guess the word had gotten around about my run-in with Anita. I saw Anita and Marta sitting with some of the kids on one of the couches. We went and sat at the other end of the room.

  “Tell us something about where you live, Felita,” said Judy. I told them about my friends, my block, and my school.

  “It sounds like you and your friends do such exciting things,” said Saida. “Tell us about some of the things you all do there.”

  “All right, let’s see. Did you ever hear about a place called Chinatown?”

  “We got a Chinese take-out food place up on Highway Number Three, near Rio Grande,” Judy said.

  “Felita’s talking about a whole town, right?” said Provi.

  “Almost. It’s actually a big section right in New York City that’s called Chinatown. Lots and lots of Chinese people live there. They got shops selling clothes, toys—all kinds of Chinese things. Of course, the food tastes fantastic! They even have Chinese movies there.”

  “Did you ever see one?” asked Judy.

  “No, I wouldn’t understand one word if I did. Also, we have the Museum of Natural History, and there’s a skeleton of a real dinosaur that’s bigger than this whole church. It’s enormous! And they have mummies and all kinds of nature displays. I love going there.”

  “Now,” Provi said, “please tell us about snow, Felita.”

  “Oh, yeah, tell us,” said Saida. “I would love to see snow.”

  “Okay. When the snow first falls, it’s just great. It looks like magic when it comes from the sky. The snow can get so deep that you can hardly walk. You sink right to your knees, and traffic can’t even move. Everything gets very still and quiet. But the best part is that school is shut down. The grown-ups hate it, but we love it because we can build forts and tunnels and we have snowball fights!”

  “Did you ever taste snow?” asked Provi. “What does it taste like?”

  “It tastes just like frozen ices but without any flavor.” They kept on asking questions and I went on talking. I was enjoying telling about home and seeing how they were all impressed. From the corner of my eye I saw Anita, Marta, and her group leave the game room.

  Provi and me were becoming better friends, and getting real tight. One day she took me to visit her sister Diana. We walked up a back road until we reached a big house built on two levels with terraces all around. A boy about four years old ran toward us. “Provi, Provi,” he called out.

  A woman who was very pregnant followed him. “You have to be Felita,” she said. “I’ve heard so much about you from Provi. I’m Diana and that’s Gino.” She touched Gino’s head gently. The house was real spacious. Inside there were lots of colorful framed posters and artwork on the walls. And so many bookcases filled with books! I had never seen so many books except for in the library. Diana gave us fresh pineapple juice with lots of crushed ice and we sat out on the top terrace. I told Diana all about my family, my neighborhood, school, and even about Abuelita and Tio. It was very easy to talk to her because she listened and was real interested. Gino was sitting on Provi’s lap and kept on hugging her.

  “Gino”—Diana tugged at his arm—“you are going to strangle your Aunt Provi. Felita, you have to understand that those two have a love affair going on, but that’s also because she spoils him.”

  “I’m gonna marry Provi when I grow up,” Gino said. “We already made plans.” Provi winked at me.

  “Where are you gonna live when you get married?” I teased him.

  “Right here, in my room. I’m gonna get a bigger bed.” That Gino was such a character.

  “When are you having your baby?” I asked Diana.

  “In about six weeks.”

  “If it’s a girl, she’ll name it after me, Providencia, right?”

  “We’ll see.” Diana smiled. “I thought Maria-Elena would be a good name.”

  “Get out.” Provi made a face. “That’s so ordinary. Providencia is more unusual.”

  “Will you still love me the best if it’s a girl?” Gino asked Provi.

  “I’ll always love you the best, silly.” Provi hugged him.

  That afternoon we had so much fun. I especially loved their library. They had all kinds of books in English and Spanish. When Diana paid me a compliment on my Spanish, I told her about what happened at the youth center.

  “What? That’s terrible!” Diana said. “But it does happen a lot here. Listen, when Raymond first got here after living in Philadelphia for about thirteen years, they teased him too. They do it, I think, because they feel that the Puerto Ricans who leave and then come back want to be accepted without having made any contributions to Puerto Rico. What they forget is that the reason most Puerto Ricans had to leave in the first place was on account of poor conditions here at home. Felita, it’s wrong, but then, people aren’t always smart or fair either.”

  I’d been looking at two art books and before we left, Diana told me I could borrow them. “Don’t rush, keep them awhile and enjoy yourself before you return them.”

  That evening I looked at the books again. One had pictures showing the work of an artist named Francisco Goya, who lived in Spain a very long time ago. He painted kings, queens, palaces, war scenes, and even the countryside. I was amazed at all the different things he could paint. The other book showed the work of a Mexican artist, Diego Rivera. It had pictures of the Indians and the Spanish conquistadors and the Mexican revolution. It was like each picture was telling a story. I decided one way I could improve my drawings would be by studying the books. Someday I wanted to draw as good as these artists. Before I left this Island, I decided I was gonna do some good drawings, that was for sure. It had been nearly a week since I’d spent time with Tio. But the morning after my visit to Diana he started in on me.

  “Felita, when are you coming out to see the property with me? They are going to start digging the well soon.”

  “I don’t know, Tio.” I really wasn’t in the mood to go out there and listen to his lectures, take a quiz, and then watch a bunch of men working. It was too boring.

  “I thought we might walk over this morning, and you could see all the work that’s being done.”

  “Tio, I’m supposed to see Provi, so I can’t.”

  “Are you planning to have lunch there too?” He looked real annoyed.

  “They did invite me, Tio, and I did say yes.”

  “Well, now I’m inviting you to spend some time with your own family. Even Tia Maria is complaining that you hardly eat here anymore.”

  “Tia Maria is always complaining about something!” I really wished he’d stop. “Look, Tio, I’ll have lunch with everybody here tomorrow, I promise.”

  “Will you come out to the property too?”

  “Do I have to?”

  “No, you don’t have to.” Now I could see that he was hurt. “I just thought you might like to, that you would be interested. After all, I’m not just doing this for me. I want what I’m doing to be for all of us.”

  “Tio, I have so many other things to do.”

  “Suit yourself, Felita,” he said.

  “All right, Tio.” I felt sorry to see him looking like that, so sad and all. “I’ll go tomorrow with you.”

  “Very good, Felita, and you will see all the changes that have taken place on the property. Also, this way you can continue to learn about nature. I’ll bet you have already forgotten all the things I taught you.”

  “No, I haven’t.”

  “You want to prove it to me? Tell me now, what is the name of the white flower that is about four inches in circumference that blooms only at night and has a sweet fragrance?” I couldn’t believe my own ears. Here he was quizzing me and I hadn’t even finished ea
ting breakfast. It was just too much!

  There was no way I was gonna answer any of his dopey questions. “I don’t remember, Tio,” I said.

  “See? I told you. I knew you would forget. But try to remember, come on. I’ll give you a hint. It has a sweet fragrance much like—”

  “I can’t guess!” I cut him right off.

  “What? I don’t believe it. You’re just not trying, come on.”

  “Stop it!” I yelled. “I don’t wanna guess, all right? Can’t you stop treating me like I’m six years old? Can’t you have a normal conversation like a person, instead of acting like I’m a quiz kid? You make me sick and tired with all your stupid lectures and dumb questions. Leave me alone, you hear? Leave me alone!” I was so angry at Tio I felt myself shaking. I got up and ran out to the patio because at that moment I couldn’t stand being in the same room with him, I just couldn’t! I stayed out back until I heard Tio Jorge leaving to go to his property. I felt relieved that he was gone and I almost wished he would stay away forever. Who needed him and all his boring information anyway? I decided to hang out and read until it was time to meet Provi.

  The next day at breakfast Tio and me ate and hardly said one word. I knew I had been disrespectful toward Tio, and if my parents knew, I’d probably get the punishment of my life. After all, I was supposed to be spending the summer with him—that’s why my parents had sent me here in the first place.

  I looked over at Tio Jorge as he ate his breakfast, and kept hoping he’d ask me out to see his property today, but he never said a word to me. I guess he was waiting for me to apologize, and I knew I should, since I was the one who blew up and lost my temper. Still, I couldn’t. When he left without me, I didn’t say anything. I figured that sooner or later I’d make it up to him somehow. Besides, today I was having lunch with him at Tia Maria’s. As far as I was concerned, that was a big enough sacrifice.

  When I got over to Tia Maria’s for lunch, she opened up her mouth against me. “My, look who’s here. Felita, I see you are gracing us with your presence today. I was beginning to wonder if Provi’s family shouldn’t get paid for your meals instead of me from now on.” She shook her head and clicked her tongue at least three times in my direction. I turned away and decided to ignore her. I didn’t want to start any more trouble. But as soon as we sat down and started eating, she began complaining again—not about me, but about everything!

  “Did you see what they are doing over by the old Rivera property? Putting up more houses. They don’t stop coming up here—all that riffraff from the city. They are the ones responsible for so many bars and cafés opening up, I’m sure of it. Bad people bring bad habits.”

  “You’re right,” said Tio Jorge. “They are killing the countryside. Pretty soon there isn’t going to be any countryside left.” If the two of them didn’t stop this conversation, I knew I was going to lose my appetite. I was sick of hearing each and every time about how wonderful the olden days were.

  “We always had a finer quality of people then, not like today,” said Tia Maria, clicking her tongue. It was just once too much! All I could do was push my plate away and ask to be excused. Everyone stopped eating and stared at me. “You haven’t touched a thing, Felita. What’s the matter with you?” asked Tia Maria.

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “What’s wrong with you—are you sick?” She just wouldn’t let up on me.

  “Yes, and I’d like to be excused. May I go, please?”

  “Not until you tell us what’s wrong with you!” Tia’s voice sounded real impatient. “First you never eat here and now you aren’t hungry. I’d like to hear an explanation.” I was feeling so rotten, I felt like running out of there. “I’m waiting for an answer, young lady. Don’t think you are—”

  “Go on, Felita.” Tio Jorge cut her off. “Go next door and lie down. I’ll be in to see you in a few minutes.” As soon as Tio Jorge said that, I bolted. I could hear him and Tia Maria arguing. I went straight to my room and sat down on my bed. I hated it here so much. If I had to stay in P.R., I wished I could live with Provi and Diana instead of with a bunch of complaining old people!

  “Felita!” I heard Tio come into my room. “Felita, something is wrong and you must tell me what it is.” He sat down next to me. “I don’t want you to be unhappy. That was not the purpose of your visit here.” He reached over and stroked my hair. “Do you miss home?” That was all he had to ask me. Suddenly I felt this heavy feeling coming over me. It was a sadness that went right to my chest and then to my throat. When I opened up my mouth to speak, I began to cry instead. Tio leaned over and held me, and right then I let loose a fountain of tears. “That’s all right, Felita, go on, it’s good to cry. That’s right, let yourself go and cry all you want.” After a while I couldn’t cry anymore, and the tears stopped. Tio gave me a tissue and I blew my nose and wiped my face. “Feeling better?” he asked.

  I nodded. “Tio, I’m sorry I yelled at you yesterday. I didn’t mean what I said about you making me sick, honest.”

  “I know that.” Tio squeezed my hand.

  “It’s just that I get tired of you saying the same old things to me over and over again, and I’d like to do something else besides looking at and talking about flowers and birds. And I’m sick of Tia Maria and Tio Manuel and all of you telling me how wonderful things used to be in the good old days. I wasn’t here in the ‘old days’ and I don’t care, okay? I like it now, right now! In this world today where I was born it suits me just fine. I don’t wanna hear about what I’m missing for not being around when you were a kid. I’m a kid today and I’m content with the world, so just quit it! Okay?”

  “Okay. Now I see, Felita. I just didn’t understand that it must be hard for you to be here with three old people like us. You must be bored a lot, right?” I just looked at Tio and said nothing. “Listen, Felita, I’m going to ask you something that’s very important and I want you to answer me truthfully. Promise?”

  “I promise.”

  “Do you want to go back home?” I sure wasn’t expecting him to ask me that question. I didn’t know what to say. “If you do, it’s all right. I understand, and I will write to Rosa and Alberto and explain. They will understand too, so you needn’t worry.”

  “I don’t know, Tio. Honest.” It was the truth. Part of me wanted to leave, but there was another part that wanted to stay.

  “Well, I want you to think about it and let me know. I’ll be honest too, Felita. I want you to stay with me very much, but only if you are happy. And I now see that you should spend as much time with your friend Provi as you like. This is your vacation and you are supposed to be having a good time. Maybe we could start over and not expect so much from each other. Neither one of us can take the place of the family or expect things to be like they were back home—and in my case like they were when I was a young man here. We’ll both accept things as they really are. What do you say; will you think it over?”

  “All right, Tio.”

  “Good, Felita. And remember you can always go back home, no one will force you to stay here.” Tio got up to leave.

  “Tio, one more thing. Please don’t tell Tia Maria.”

  “Not a word, this is strictly between us.” Tio put a finger over his mouth. “Now, I’m gonna finish my meal. If you like, I’ll bring some food back for you.”

  “Thanks, Tio, I’d like that.” I took a deep breath and lay down, feeling tired and relieved.

  Life with Tio Jorge had become more relaxed now that we understood each other. He stopped pressuring me about having to hang out with him and didn’t complain about my seeing too much of Provi. Also, I had gotten real used to things around here. Like just a couple of days ago, Tio Jorge pointed out to me that I had stopped screaming at the flying roaches. Instead I ignored them or swatted them out of my way. I’d also begun to sweep the spiders and centipedes out of the back door with a broom when I saw them.

  “You are becoming a jíbara, a real country girl.” Tio looked real ple
ased. “Your abuelita would be proud of you if she could see you. I know I am.”

  In fact things were going so good that this evening after I wrote my usual weekly letter to my parents, I decided to finally write Gigi and Vinny.

  I wrote Gigi about the youth center and the nice kids there and all about Provi. I saved Vinny’s letter for last. Lately I had been thinking about him a lot and wishing I could see him. I hadn’t met one boy at the center that I liked even a little teeny bit, compared to how much I liked Vinny. I couldn’t help worrying and wondering if he still liked me. Maybe he had found some girl he liked better than me. Just the thought of such a thing upset me. I wrote him a very long letter with my return address nice and clear. I told him too about all the good things that were happening. I wrote that I was still his girlfriend and still wanted him to be my boyfriend. Then I signed the letter with a heart and I drew little palm trees and kisses. Before I sealed it, I prayed that he would like it and write back soon.

  In none of the letters did I ever mention Anita, Marta, and their little clique. I didn’t want to write about those girls or think about them. In fact I wanted to make believe they didn’t even exist.

  Chapter 10

  Friday at Santa Teresa’s, Father Gabriel announced that we were putting on a big carnival to raise money for the church. There was one theme, he said, that was going to guide the event. Its theme was to be the history of the Tainos, who were the original inhabitants of Puerto Rico. We were going to run a raffle and set up stands with food, arts and crafts, books, and other things for sale. But the best part was that the youth center was going to put on a historical play and charge admission. The play was gonna have costumes, sets, and music. It was scheduled for August 16th.

  “All right, now,” Father told us, “Sister Tomasina, Sister Pilar, and Brother Osvaldo will take charge of the youth center. You kids work with them.” They took us aside and Sister Pilar spoke to us.