Undisclosed Desires (High Rise Novella Two)

by Bliss, Harper

  The more her brain had suffered from Isabella-related images, the more Nat had put the moves on Cindy. She was cute as a button with her pouty lips, round cheeks and eyes as dark as the night—they all had eyes like that, no matter how glittery their jewellery and make-up.

  She tested some first lines for a short story titled The Darkness of the Hello Kitty Girls. She could picture Cindy on the cover. Eyes blazing and mouth giggling. As if the bubblegum factor of their cheery-pink exterior is all a means to hide the blackness of their stare. Nat had soon aborted the little writing session in her head. If Isabella was fucking Sophie tonight, she’d be taking Cindy home. And even if Sophie and Isabella were all chaste about it and decided that the first date after a blind date should be platonic, then at least Nat would have one up on Isabella.

  She could easily imagine how Isabella would look at her if she were to confess to having thoughts—or was it more like a strategy?—like this. Ever-accepting eyes peering over dark-rimmed glasses—the ones she put on for watching TV—her face drawn into a serious expression but the sparkle in her glance revealing her true feelings.

  They were almost at the top of the escalator, at the street of The Ivy, when Nat realised what the real question was. Why had she insisted on setting them up? Why had it been so important? Deep down, it started dawning, but she’d need a few more processing sessions with Isabella before she could actually admit it.

  Cindy grabbed her hand as they turned the corner, her tiny clammy fingers probing their way between Nat’s.

  “Are you sure?” Nat faced her one last time. Not that she questioned Cindy’s eagerness, more her own.

  Cindy’s only response was a squeeze in Nat’s hand accompanied by an unexpected confident smirk. And people claim these girls are interchangeable, Nat scoffed inwardly—mostly for the benefit of her own self-esteem.

  Spencer, the doorman, held the glass doors wide open for them, his face as professionally blank as ever. Nat always shot him a wink.

  “Sorry, Miss Nathalie,” Vivian at reception said. “Only one elevator available right now. The other one under maintenance.”

  “Sure.” Nat nodded at Vivian. “No worries.”

  Upon reaching the elevator bank Nat stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed the two women with their backs to her, their clothes wrinkled and their arms hooked into one another. Her heart thrashed in her throat. Losing face was never easy, but confined to the secluded space of an elevator it would sting at least twice as hard. Nat dropped Cindy’s hand and cleared her throat. Isabella and Sophie spun around as if they were in a ballet performance together.

  “Successful date, I presume?” Nat needed to get the first word in. Perhaps it could give her the upper hand as well.

  “Looks like we’re not the only ones.” Confusion and disappointment battled for the upper hand in Isabella’s expression.

  A high-pitched bell announced the arrival of the lift. They all stepped aside to make room for the exiting passengers, then shuffled in. Isabella stood with Sophie on one side, Nat with Cindy on the other, as if divided by a secret line of decency. People with strong morals who kept their end of the deal on one side, the more loosely-principled ones on the other.

  Nat tried to hold her head up high, but she was crumbling inside. Not only was Isabella the last person she wanted to run into while bringing Cindy home, but the sight of her with Sophie, so at ease together and strangely satisfied—like couples on a sexy Sunday—caused her stomach to knot. Sophie’s eyes sparkled and hinted that she wasn’t merely being taken to the penthouse for a pousse-café.

  Mistakes And How To Make Them, Nat thought. Another good book title, maybe for my memoir some day.

  “I’ve persuaded Isabella to join our book club,” Sophie said, trying to break the suffocating silence in the cabin. “Even though I’m not sure she’ll have time to finish the book before then.”

  If she had talked like that about any other woman, Nat would have given her a pat on the back, but this was about Isabella and all Nat wanted was to slap her friend in the face—the friend she’d deliberately set Isabella up with.

  “Great.” Nat seemed to have lost the power of speech as well as the ability to look anyone in the eye. Thank goodness the elevator was speedy and about to deliver her and Cindy to the forty-second floor.

  “See you then,” Nat mumbled and dragged Cindy out of there as soon as the doors opened.

  Once safely inside her flat she went straight for the liquor cabinet and poured herself and Cindy a large Scotch—neat.

  ISABELLA

  “Here’s a drink.” Isabella planted a glass of Bordeaux between Sophie’s fingers. “Make yourself comfortable, please.” She brought her hand to her chest. “Give me five minutes. I’ll be right back.”

  “You’re going to see Nat?” Sophie’s face tensed.

  “Something’s wrong. She wouldn’t so flagrantly piss over our arrangement if there weren’t. I just want to assess the damage.” Isabella placed her hands on Sophie’s shoulders. “As a friend.” She tried to put as much sincerity into her smile as possible. “I swear.”

  “No need to swear.” Sophie spun on her heels. “Hurry back.” Sophie positioned herself in front of the full-length windows overlooking the city and didn’t say another word.

  Isabella hurried out of the flat and didn’t wait for the elevator. She’d never before taken the stairs and her heels echoed in the concrete stair well. Two floors lower she emerged and rang Nat’s bell.

  “Not a good time to forget your keys, Pizza.” Isabella heard from the other end of the door as she waited for Nat to open. When she did, Isabella noticed how Nat’s fingers loosened around her glass of Scotch and she regained composure just before dropping it.

  “Oh. Looking for a foursome?”

  “No, are you?” Isabella dragged Nat out of the flat by her arm. “Come outside for a minute.”

  Nat made light work of the remainder of liquid in her glass. By the mistiness of her gaze, Isabella could tell it wasn’t her first drink of the night.

  “What are you doing?” Isabella tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice, for her own sake as much as for Nat’s.

  “Exactly what it looks like, Sherlock.” Nat shrugged. “I guess our deal is off. You can send Sophie home if you want. No need to consummate the date.”

  “Why are you doing this?” Isabella leaned against the marble wall. The Ivy wasn’t built for drunken arguments outside its many front doors. This was a place of discreet class. People kept to themselves and didn’t raise their voices once they left the privacy of their flat. This conversation was pointless. Nat was tipsy and looking for a fight. If Isabella had more than a few minutes she might be able to get through to her, but Sophie was waiting upstairs. Sophie, who had already given her the benefit of the doubt once today when it came to Nat.

  “Go back to your date, Doc.” Nat made for the door. “Give me a shout if you need any sex toys.” Nat had locked herself out and had to knock on the door until Cindy—Isabella recognised her from The Bean—opened it, a startled look etched across her face.

  “Suit yourself.” Isabella watched as Nat slipped inside, one arm already draped around Cindy’s shoulder. Jealousy, frustration and disappointment fought for the upper hand in her mind. She shook her head and climbed the stairs to the penthouse where Sophie waited.

  “And?” Sophie’s features had softened. She walked toward Isabella as she entered the flat, handing her a glass of wine.

  Isabella shook her head and accepted the drink. “In the end, it’s her choice.”

  “Maybe she needs something else than abstinence.” Sophie coaxed Isabella to the sofa. “Maybe it’s our turn to set her up.”

  The thought terrified Isabella. “Do you have someone in mind?”

  “I’ll have to think about it. She’s not an easy one to match.”

  “Judging from what she told me about Claire, it’ll have to be someone who’s willing to play hard to get. Too eage
r won’t do it for Nat.” Isabella sank down in the couch. “It’s a near impossible task.”

  “Whatever it is, it’s not a task for us to worry about on a Sunday evening.” Sophie inched closer. “I think it’s time I found out what it’s like to kiss you indoors.”

  Isabella smiled, hoping it would relax her, but her muscles tensed under her skin when Sophie touched her. Her head filled with images of Nat and Cindy—all of them indecent and painful.

  Sophie kissed her and it didn’t change a thing. Their lips touched and their tongues swirled around one another and Isabella only had one person on her mind. It wasn’t the one whose tongue darted in and out of her mouth.

  Sophie wasn’t the kind of woman you pushed away twice. It was already quite the surprise she was sitting here now, her hands snaking toward Isabella’s breasts. She started pushing Isabella down, covering her with her body.

  Isabella didn’t feel the same exhilaration rushing through her flesh as earlier on the mountain. Her mind didn’t shut off, allowing her body to enjoy Sophie’s caresses. All she saw was the sadness in Nat’s eyes, the desperation of her drooped shoulders, the pleading of her glance.

  She knew what she had to do.

  “I’m sorry.” Isabella pushed herself up on her elbows, breaking Sophie’s lip-lock.

  “What?” Sophie’s eyes glistened through narrowed eyelids, desire clinging to her voice.

  Isabella thrust herself up some more, forcing Sophie off her completely. “I thought I was being honest with you.”

  Sophie’s mouth fell open, her eyes still confused.

  “But I failed to be honest with myself.” Isabella placed a hand on Sophie’s forearm. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.”

  “What the—” The mist in Sophie’s head seemed to clear. Her eyes darkened and she shook herself free from Isabella’s gentle hold. “This is about Nat, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.” Isabella nodded. “I’m afraid it is.”

  “I’m beginning to think you two deserve each other.” Sophie straightened her skirt. Her voice was calm, but her eyes were shooting daggers at Isabella.

  “She…” Isabella knew full well how stupid it sounded. “She needs me.”

  “Sure.” Sophie looked around for her bag. “But don’t pretend you don’t want to fuck her as well.” She found it on the floor next to the sofa. “Good luck with that.” Once she reached the door she turned around one more time. “Don’t call me again.”

  Years of training and experience in all kinds of matters of the heart and mind and Isabella had ignored her own the most. She was crazy about Nathalie Orange and it was about time she did something about it.

  NAT

  Isabella’s little visit had been the nail in the coffin of Nat’s already dwindling desire for Cindy. She’d excused herself and hid in the bathroom, head spinning and heart hurting, but she couldn’t stay there much longer without crossing even more boundaries of decency. She checked herself in the mirror before heading back into the living room. This morning she’d looked so healthy and energetic. That seemed like weeks ago. She took a deep breath and faced Cindy.

  “I’m so sorry.” She crouched next to her. “I’m not feeling very well.” She rubbed her tummy for effect. She could hardly tell Cindy the truth and expect her to understand. Nat barely got it herself.

  “Oh.” Cindy drew her mouth into an O, making her look even more perplexed. “What can I do?”

  “Nothing.” Here comes the blow, Nat thought, and she truly felt sorry for the girl. “I think I just need to rest a bit, sleep it off.” Or maybe she’d just saved her. “I’m sure I’ll feel better in the morning.”

  “I can get you some medicine.”

  Cindy was way too sweet for this situation, her kindness stirring endless guilt in Nat.

  “No, that’s fine.” Nat squeezed Cindy’s thigh. “I’m sorry for dragging you all the way up here.”

  “It’s okay. I just want you to feel better.”

  “I will. I just…” Nat stretched herself upward. Why did she do this to herself? This is why Isabella had insisted on her abandoning her antics of picking up and swiftly abandoning girls. To shield her from even more emptiness.

  “I’ll go now.” Cindy rose from the sofa. “Please rest.”

  “I will.” Nat accompanied her to the door. “See you at The Bean this week.”

  “Yeah.” All hope had left Cindy’s eyes. She might be young but she wasn’t stupid.

  Nat let the door fall shut behind her and leaned against it, banging her head into the wood a few times. Cindy was gone, but Isabella was still sharing her bed with Sophie two floors above. If only Alex were here. They’d watch a stupid movie together, shoulder to shoulder, and Nat would give her hell about it. Alex, who had only moved in two months ago and who Nat missed as if she’d lived in the flat for two years before she started seeing Maddie.

  Nat knew Alex’s absence wasn’t the real issue.

  This would make an excellent black comedy, Nat thought as she wandered to the liquor cabinet. She poured herself another drink, but only sniffed it. It didn’t taste as good as before.

  A soft knock on the door startled her. She checked the wall clock. It was almost eleven. Either Cindy had forgotten something or Alex had had her first row with Maddie. She secretly hoped for the latter, then immediately felt guilty for doing so.

  For the second time that day, Isabella appeared in her doorframe. A crushing weight seemed to lift from Nat’s shoulders at the sight of her.

  “You have to stop showing up like this, Doc.” Nat couldn’t suppress a wide beaming smile. “You may put thoughts in my head.”

  “And what if I do?” Isabella fiddled with her fingers and a blush crept up her cheeks. “I don’t mean to intrude on you and Cindy, but—”

  “Cindy left.”

  “Oh.” Isabella pinched her eyebrows together. “So did Sophie.”

  “Did she get sick of you running down to scold me?” Nat opened the door wide to invite Isabella in.

  “Something like that.” Isabella entered and eyed the open bottle of Scotch. Nat took the hint and poured her a glass. They both settled in the sofa. “What a day.”

  Nat found Isabella’s eyes. “Crazy.” Her throat seemed to constrict around the word. She took a quick sip to hide her nerves. “I shouldn’t have pushed you into Sophie’s arms. It was a mistake.”

  “Why was it a mistake?” Isabella didn’t take her eyes off Nat when she drank.

  “I think you know why.”

  Isabella shook her head. “Too much has been left unsaid between us. We need to change that.”

  “It’s not that I disagree, but the written word is more my field of expertise.” Nat’s heart jumped in her chest.

  “I noticed.” A small smile played around Isabella’s lips. “But it’s as much my fault as any. I just… thought I didn’t stand a chance.” Isabella’s voice trembled. “Which is a pretty lame excuse, I know.”

  “Is that really your definition of clearing the air?” It was Nat’s turn to smile now. “I believe I asked you once before, after which you took the cowardly way out and completely shut down.” Nat inched closer until their hands almost touched. “Here’s your second chance to give it to me straight, Doc.”

  Isabella adjusted her posture and swallowed before speaking. “I believe I may be falling for your charms.”

  Butterflies rose in Nat’s stomach. She set her glass aside. “I’m fairly certain the feeling is entirely mutual.”

  They both giggled like Hello Kitty girls.

  “Are you going to kiss me or what?” Isabella got rid of her glass as well.

  “Patience, Doc. You’ve waited this long.” If Nat inched any closer she’d be on top of Isabella—which wouldn’t be a bad place to be.

  “True and I’ve run out of patience.” Isabella put one hand on Nat’s neck and drew her near. She brushed her lips against Nat’s lightly then retracted. “Before this goes any further.” She gave Nat a croo
ked smile. “You’re not the first woman I’ve kissed today, but the only one I’ve wanted to kiss for weeks.”

  Then, at last, she surrendered. Their lips met and, instead of the usual frenzy taking over, that unstoppable drive to almost literally take the other, to pin them down and drive out her demons, Nat let herself drift off into the soft caresses of Isabella’s lips. She let them carry her to a place of gentle bliss she hadn’t visited in years.

  ISABELLA

  Isabella was struck by the difference in emotions coursing through her when Nat kissed her. Earlier that day, when Sophie had pushed her against the tree, it had been exciting but more because of the circumstances than because of the woman. Now, it felt like a life-changing event.

  Nat broke free from their embrace and hoisted herself out of the sofa. She extended her hand and Isabella eagerly accepted it. They rushed to Nat’s bedroom at the end of the hallway.

  “Did you do it?” Nat asked as she dragged her onto the bed. It was unmade, a pile of books on either side.

  “Do what?” Isabella’s brain had stopped performing anything but basic functions.

  “You and Sophie. Did you hook up?”

  Isabella scanned Nat’s eyes for signs of jealousy. All she saw was an amused smile and big blue eyes glinting with desire. “Yes.”

  Nat stretched her grin a little further. “And now you’re about to jump into bed with me. How promiscuous for a woman your age.”

  Isabella ran her fingers down Nat’s neck. “Oh yeah, I sure am the promiscuous one here.”

  Nat pushed herself up and toppled Isabella off her. “My days of promiscuity might be over, but I am still a top.” She slid her body over Isabella’s, her knee hitching up her skirt.

  Isabella noticed Nat casting her glance to the side of the bed. She followed Nat’s line of vision and her eyes met with a sizeable purple strap-on. She wanted Nat, but not like this. Not as if she was just one of her girls.