Broken Forever

by Cary Hart

  “Well, well, well…someone looks like they caught the love bug.” Daisy is standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame.

  “I wouldn’t call it that, but I am happy.” I say the word that has been on the tip of my tongue since reconnecting with Brian. Just thinking about him makes me smile.

  “Well, I would say it’s a tad more than happy since you have one hell of a sexed up smile on your face.” Daisy walks forward, handing me a beer while she takes a swig of her own.

  “I’m surprised you didn’t bring over a bottle of wine?”

  “Well, while I was preggers, I craved beer. No clue why. I couldn’t have it and I never really even liked it, but one day I pumped enough so I could have a few…I loved it.”

  Realization hits me. I never got to be the big sister Daisy needed during her pregnancy. I abandoned her after the tragic incident and didn’t get to experience this huge milestone in her life. I’m more like my dad than I thought.

  “Hey now, where did that look come from?” Daisy examines my expression. “Where did you just go?”

  “Daisy, I’m so sorry.” A tear escapes down my cheek.

  “Don’t you do it. Don’t you dare do it,” she says, pulling me by the arm and into my family room. Pushing me down on the floor by the coffee table, she opens the pizza box and puts a slice on each of our plates. Handing me one she plops down in front of me and stares for a few minutes. “You didn’t do this.” She finally speaks.

  “Yes, I did. Daisy, I hurt you and I hurt Ruby. If anything would have happened to you…” I set the plate down and burst out crying. Something I have been doing since the day I saw her unconscious in the hospital bed, wires and monitors everywhere.

  Leaning over she gives me a hug and cries with me. Moments pass as we stay like this. “Lilly, you didn’t cause any of this. It was an accident,” she says. It’s the same story I have been hearing for months. “I knew you had a thing for Ferris. I watched you as I grew up, talking about him and how he was so perfect. When I met him, I didn’t know it was him. There was just something about him that pulled us together.” A few months ago hearing about this would have shattered me more, but right now, I just want her to finish. “Then you got me that job and I found out I was pregnant.” She shakes her head. “I should have been honest with you the moment I found out. The day of the accident. You didn’t know. You were just trying to protect Ferris.”

  “You. Are. My. Sister. I should have put you first and I didn’t. All I cared about was myself and this dream that I thought I wanted.” I lean back against the couch and stretch my legs out before I continue. “Daisy, I love you and I’m sorry for sucking.”

  A burst of laughter barrels out of her tiny frame. “Lilly, I’m sorry too, but promise me you won’t go away again. We need you.”

  “I promise.”

  Chapter 12

  Brian

  I really don’t want to leave Lillian, but hearing Sami on the other end in a panic freaks me the hell out.

  “Brian, I need you to come to The Bar now. I need you.” Then she hangs up. I try to call her back to make sure she’s OK, but nothing. The only choice…leave Lillian.

  Not caring if I get a ticket, I pull into the handicap parking spot out front and sprint inside. Looking around I see Sami sitting at a table laughing with some guy. What the hell?

  Running my hands through my hair, I take a deep breath. She’s OK. Gaining my composure, I walk over to the table. “Sam? I thought something is wrong.”

  “Wrong?” She stands up quickly, knocking over the chair in the process. “Nothing is wrong. In fact everything is right.” Sam jumps up and down, clapping her hands.

  I look over at the guy she’s with. He’s just watching her; a smile creeps up his face and he relaxes into his chair, leaned back, legs crossed. Who is he?

  “Brian? Did you hear me?” She grabs my shoulders, turning me toward her.

  “Wh-what?” I look at her beaming face, then back to the guy and back to her, focusing in on her mouth and what she is saying. I’m confused. “Sorry, sis. What’s up?”

  “Brian! I know we were going to meet about this next week, but I couldn’t wait that long! I have a producer. J.R. wants to work with me. We are going to Nashville, all expenses paid.”

  She seems excited, but something about this situation doesn’t seem right. I’m all for her chasing her dream. Hell, that is why I wanted to expand, to be able to help her without our parent’s judgment. “Sam, being signed and having a producer are two different things. I would think all expenses paid is some lame attempt to lure you away to God knows where…” The guy is now sitting up, full attention on us. “And who the fuck is this?”

  “Geez, Brian. Watch the language.” Sam steps back, crossing her arms. This is her battle stance. When she wants something she fights for it. This can’t be good. “Are you saying that you don’t think I’m good enough for someone as experienced as J.R. here to want to work with someone like me?” Her eyes water, but not from being sad. Nope this is all part of the fight. She is pissed off. Shit!

  “Sam, come on now, that is not what I’m saying.” I motion to the chairs and try to regain control of this conversation. “Let’s just sit down and discuss this. Tell me everything from the beginning.”

  Throwing her arms down, she huffs out a breath, reminding me even though she is 21, she is still my baby sister. “Fine.” She picks up the chair she knocked over and drags it to the table, making a screeching sound that echoes through the empty bar.

  Misty and a woman I’m assuming is the new waitress Jamie, who Misty hired last week, turn and look in our direction. I shrug my shoulders, they go back to whatever they were doing and I turn my attention back to Sam.

  “Maybe the best place to start is with introducing me to your friend here.” I nod toward the guy, who looks a little too pleased with himself.

  Standing up, he holds out his hand. “I’m J.R., a producer with Thorn Records.”

  Taking his hand, squeezing a little harder than normal, I reluctantly follow his lead and say, “Brian, the big, bad-ass brother of this girl here.” I stare him down and wait for him to sit first, but neither of us moves.

  Clearing her throat, Sami tries to break the tension at the table. “Umm, so Bri, you want to hear my story or what?”

  That does it. She can always get me to cave. I’m supposed to be the big brother, but somehow, some way she always manages to get her way. So I give in and sit down, but I keep my eyes on him. “Sure, Sam, spill it.”

  “Oh my God…it’s the best story EVER!” Sami’s baby blues shine from across the table. Excitement now overtakes the tension. “You know how last night I had to leave to play at GiGi’s Tavern?”

  “How could I forget?” I think about Lillian showing up to help out at The Bar, and ending up in my bed.

  Sam looks at J.R. and smiles. I’m not liking this.

  He puts a hand on her leg and smiles back, then turns his attention to me. “Brian, your sister is extremely talented and has a way of capturing her audience. She’s special.”

  “I’ve very aware.” Who the hell does he think he is?

  “Well good. So, we won’t have a problem with your sister coming to Nashville to record in our studio.” J.R. cuts to the chase.

  “Excuse me? Why on God’s green earth would I let my baby sister travel to Nashville with some stranger who proclaims to be some famous producer?” I lean forward, hands on the table. “You going to have her ‘audition’? Maybe hole her up in your office and take advantage of her, tell her this is the only way to advance?” I’m pissed now. “Not happening, bro.”

  “BRIAN!” Sami gasps.

  “What? Tell me you don’t believe this jerk.” I point my thumb in J.R.’s direction.

  “Brian, I’m one hundred percent serious when I tell you that my intentions are strictly professional —”

  “Fuck you Brian Andrews!” Sami jumps up from the table, crying, and heads toward the apartment.
/>
  Standing up to go after her, dickface grabs my elbow, stopping me. “Brian, let her go. Give her a minute.”

  “Who the hell are you to tell me what to do with my sister?” I knock his hand away and head toward the stairs.

  “All I’m saying is —”

  Swinging around, I jab a finger in the air in front of his face. “I swear to God if you don’t fucking leave this instant —”

  The dickface doesn’t give up. “One, get your fucking finger out of my face. Two, if you were to listen to your sister’s entire story you would have felt a little differently about the situation. Three, here is my fucking card. Check my references. You will see this is legit.” He stuffs the card in my hand, turns and heads for the door.

  “MY SISTER!” I holler after him, wadding up the card and throwing it to the ground.

  Before he walks out, he pauses and looks back at me. “That’s right Brian, your sister. How about you go up there and hear her out instead of crushing her dreams. From what I hear, she gets that enough from your parents.” The door chimes and J.R. is gone.

  Left standing there, I try to process what he said.

  Am I like my parents?

  Not wanting to give Sam any more time to dwell I turn to run up to the apartment, but instead of running into the stairway, I run into two serious as hell waitresses. Misty and the new girl, Jamie, are standing there, arms crossed.

  What is it with these women?

  “Boss, I think you owe Sami an apology. You went all big brother on her and didn’t even give her a chance,” Misty says.

  “What she said.” Jamie jabs her thumb in Misty’s direction, reaffirming her statement.

  “Damn it!” I hang my head. “Everyone is right.”

  Jamie walks over to where I threw J.R.’s business card, picks it up and flattens it back out. She comes back over and hands it to me. “Why don’t you take this, make a few phone calls and make sure he is telling the truth?”

  “You can fix this, Brian.” Misty and Jamie part like the Red Sea, and the stairway is now visible. “Go up there, kiss some ass and lend her an ear. Be you, Brian. Be the supportive big brother she knows you to be.” Misty says as she pushes me through.

  What in the hell just happened?

  I stumble forward, putting one foot in front of the other, making my way toward the apartment.

  “Brian you can fix this.” Misty reassures me.

  God, I hope so.

  Chapter 13

  Lillian

  Daisy’s little unwelcomed surprise ended up being welcomed after all. After we had our little “come to Jesus” moment she filled me in on her trip to St. Helena.

  Apparently, Mona, who owns the bridal boutique, Enchanted, took one look at Daisy and told her that she had the perfect wedding dress for her “declaration of love” wedding/reception. Daisy, who didn’t want to ruin Nat’s special day, told her she would call, but Nat insisted she take a look.

  Mona took out a binder of sketches that a soon-to-be-graduate sent her in hopes of landing a job. She said when Mona flipped to the dress she had in mind, she heard angels sing. Quickly taking a picture of the design, she sent it to Ferris to investigate Camilla Lacey, the talented designer of her dream dress.

  After the pizza and beer were gone, Daisy almost convinced herself to stay for a girl’s sleepover, but when Ferris called and had her blushing, I knew the party was over. Normally this would have bothered me, but since Brian, I realized Ferris had been a plan not my forever.

  Just thinking about Brian has me smiling. I know it’s only been one day, but it feels like a few years. I’m feeling happy for the first time in…forever.

  **********

  Grabbing the contract off the counter, I head out the door, opting for the walk to The Bar. Today seems different, I can’t pinpoint exactly why, but it is. The sun is a little brighter, the flowers are more vibrant, the sound of the waves crashing is a little louder.

  Lost in thoughts and the world around me, I almost pass up The Bar. Laughing to myself, I shake my head, realizing I’m one step away from doodling this guy’s name in my notebook.

  Opening the door, I take a step in and remove my sunglasses, pausing to give my eyes a chance to adjust. Scanning the bar, I find Misty. “Hey, where’s Brian?” I holler, making myself known.

  She turns around and waves and I notice she is on the phone.

  “Sorry,” I whisper, holding up the contract to let her know why I’m here.

  Nodding she points over to the corner.

  Mouthing a thanks I give her a thumbs up and head that direction. “Brian, look what I have.” I start to hold up the contract, but then I realize what exactly I’m heading toward. Dropping the papers, I stand there frozen.

  Please no! This can’t be happening. Not again.

  Brian is standing by the stage in the corner of the bar in a loving embrace with a mysterious blonde wrapped in his arms. He whispers in her ear and a slow smile creeps across her face.

  A lone tear escapes down my cheek. He lied. Turning to leave, I start to pick up the pace. I’m so stupid.

  “Lil, where are you going?” Brian calls out.

  Don’t stop. Keep going.

  “Babe, wait up. I want you to meet Sam.” He sounds closer, but I don’t look back. I can’t look back.

  Reaching the door, I pull it open, immediately blinded by the morning sun.

  “Damn it, Lil. Where are you going?” He’s definitely closer now.

  Don’t stop. Keep going. Eventually he will leave. They always leave.

  “Lil! Stop!” He grabs me by the arm, pulling me backwards against his chest. He wraps his strong arms around me. “What’s wrong, Lil?”

  For a moment I relax in his arms, letting him comfort me. Hold me.

  I’m broken.

  Turning quickly in his arms, I break free. “I saw you in there.” I point toward the bar and back away.

  Taking a step forward he seems confused. “With Sam?” he asks.

  “Sam? That’s Sam? The one you always leave me for?” I shout not sure what to do. I can’t stay here. I can’t be here.

  “Yes, that is my…,” Brian tries to say something, but I’m not listening.

  I can’t do this. I let my guard down for him and look what it got me. Broken. This is why I am the way I am. I must end this.

  “You know what? Go to hell, Brian Andrews. You are no different than the rest of them.” I’m face to face with the man who I thought I knew. “You used me to expand your business.” I pause for just a second, questioning myself if I want to go there. Once I do there is no going back. “Well guess what? You are nothing. You hear me? Nothing! Success ends with your father. You, my friend, are nothing but a failure and a disgrace to your family.” I know it’s not true, but the words come out and I can’t take them back. “You say you wanted to expand to help your sister, but that was an excuse. You just wanted to show your daddy that he was wrong, but all you ended up doing is showing him exactly how right he really was.” I stop, take a deep breath and notice the crowd around us. Then I look at Brian, standing there in shock, just staring at me in disbelief.

  I broke him.

  I said what needed to be said.

  Then why does it hurt?

  Holding my head high, I turn to walk away.

  “Lil,” Brian’s voice is barely a whisper.

  Keep walking.

  “That was my sister, Sami Andrews,” he finishes. I keep walking. Processing.

  **********

  Brian

  She’s gone. I’m standing in the doorway, a crowd in the lot nearby.

  “Bri?” Sami is now behind me. “You OK?”

  “Nope.” I don’t know what else to say.

  “Come back inside. Let’s talk.” She wraps her thin arm around my lower back and even though she is smaller, she holds me up and guides me inside. Misty and Jamie lock the door behind us, closing off the whispers and prying eyes.

  “Is he OK? What ha
ppened?” Misty sounds concerned.

  “Yeah, he will be.” Sami is now tugging me toward the apartment. “Misty, you may need to open the bar by yourself. Have Jamie run your tables,” she hollers down to the girls as we reach the top of the steps.

  Dragging me inside she pushes me down on the couch and sits next to me. “Brian, what in the hell happened down there?”

  “She’s gone.” It’s all I can get out.

  “Why? Why is she gone?”

  “S-she thought I was cheating on her with you,” I try to explain.

  “OK, so did you tell her? Set her straight?” She says it like it was the easiest thing in the world. Well, it could have been if Lillian would have just listened.

  “She wouldn’t let me.” I’m lost in thought. “Sis, she said so many mean and hurtful things…I just can’t.”

  “Brian, last night you told me this girl was damaged goods —”

  That gets my attention, snapping me out of it. “The hell I did. She is broken, had a rough life, but she isn’t damaged goods. We were good together.”

  “OK, then why are you here? Go to her. Tell her how you feel.” She says like it’s no big deal.

  “What, and forget what she said? She thinks I’m a failure.” Her words “you are nothing” replay over and over again in my mind.

  “Are you a failure? Because the Brian I know and grew up with is far from that.” She is standing now. “Go to her. If you feel the same way you did last night, then don’t give up without a fight. Go to her, tell her how you feel.”

  “You know what, you are right. Thanks, Sam.” I stand, give her a kiss on her forehead, grab my keys and head toward the door.

  I run down the stairs and out the door, and find my car is blocked in by a delivery truck. I don’t waste my time. Running is my only option.

  **********