Phoebe watched him drink the coffee, the smell of which wafted her way as she took a sip of her tea.
Quiet minutes later he asked, “How long were you on my doorstep?’
“I don’t know. I left home around four.”
“It’s after seven now.” His tone was incredulous. “You’ve been waiting that long?”
“I fell asleep.”
The tension left his face. “That’s pretty easy to do in your condition.”
“I can’t seem to make it without a nap after teaching all day.”
“Teaching?”
“I teach at Fillmore Primary School. Grade Five.”
He seemed as if he was trying to remember something. “That’s right. JT said you were going to school to be a teacher.”
At the mention of Joshua they both looked away.
He spoke more to his coffee cup than to her. “I was sorry to hear about Joshua.”
“Me, too.” He and Joshua were supposed to have been best buddies and that was all he had to say. This guy was so distant he acted as if he’d barely known Joshua. She wouldn’t be getting any help or friendship from him.
He looked at her then as if he was unsure about what he might have heard. “Is there something you need from me?”
Phoebe flinched at his directness. Not anymore. She needed to look elsewhere. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected from him but this wasn’t it. Joshua’s letter had assured her that Ryan Matthews would do anything to help her but this man’s attitude indicated he wasn’t interested in getting involved.
“To tell you the truth, I’m not sure. You were a friend of Joshua’s and I just thought …”
“And what did you think? Do you need money?”
“Mr. Matthews, I don’t need your money. I have a good job and Joshua’s widow and orphans’ pension.”
“Then I can’t imagine what I can do for you, unless you need someone to deliver your baby?”
“Why would I come to you for that?”
“Because I’m a midwife.”
“I thought he said you were a medic.”
“I was in the army but now I work as a midwife. I still don’t understand why you’re here. If you need someone to deliver your baby you need to come to the Prenatal Clinic during office hours.”
“I already have one. Sophia Toulson.”
His brows drew together. “She’s leaving soon. Did she send you here?”
She lowered her head.
Had he heard her say, “I just needed a friend, I guess.” A friend?
He couldn’t believe that statement. What kind of person showed up at a stranger’s house, asking them to be their friend? Surely she had family and friends in town. Why would she come looking for him now? After all this time. She said she didn’t need money so what did she want from him?
“Where’s the father of the baby?”
Phoebe sat straighter and looked him directly in the eyes. “Joshua is the father of the baby.”
“When …?”
“When he was last home on leave. I wrote to him about the baby but he was …” she swallowed hard “… gone by then.” She placed the cup in the crack between the cushions, unable to bend down far enough to put it on the floor. Pushing herself to a standing position, she said, “I think I’d better go.”
He glanced out the window. The rain had picked up and the wind was blowing stronger. He huffed as he unfolded from the chair. “I’ll drive you home.”
“That’s not necessary. I can catch the tram.”
“Yeah, but you’ll get wet getting there and from it to your house. I’ll drive you. Where’s home?”
Despite his tough exterior, she liked his voice. It was slow, deep and rich. Maybe a Texan or Georgian drawl. “I live in Box Hill.”
“That’s out toward Ferntree Gully, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Let’s go.”
He sounded resigned to driving her instead of being helpful. This Ryan Matthews didn’t seem to care one way or another. Had Joshua gotten him wrong or had Ryan changed?
“If you insist.”
“I do.” He was already heading toward the door.
“Then thank you.”
This trip to see Ryan had been a mistake on a number of levels. But she had learned one thing. She was definitely alone in the world.
Forty-five minutes later, Ryan pulled onto a tree-lined street with California bungalow-style houses. The lights glowing in the homes screamed warmth, caring and permanency, all the things that he didn’t have in his life, didn’t want or deserve.
Since they’d left his place Phoebe hadn’t tried to make conversation. She’d only spoken when giving him directions. He was no closer than he’d been earlier to knowing what she wanted.
“Next left,” she said in a monotone.
He turned there she indicated.
“Last house on the right. The one with the veranda light on.”
Ryan pulled his car to the curb. He looked at her house. It appeared well cared-for. A rosebush grew abundantly in the front yard. An archway indicated the main door. The only light shining was the one over it.
“Is anyone expecting you?”
“No.”
“You live by yourself?”
“Yes. Did you think I lived with my parents?”
“I just thought since Joshua was gone and you were having a baby, someone would be nearby. Especially as close as you’re obviously getting to the due date.”
“No, there’s no one. My parents were killed in an auto accident the year before I married. My only brother had moved to England two years before that. We were never really close. There is a pretty large age difference between us.” The words were matter-of-fact but she sounded lost.
“Surely someone from Joshua’s family is planning to help out?”
“No.”
“Really? Why not?”
“If you must know, they didn’t want him to marry me. They had someone else picked out. Now that he’s gone, they want nothing more to do with me.”
“That must have been hard to hear.”
“Yeah. It hurt.” Her tone said she still was having a hard time dealing with that knowledge. He couldn’t imagine someone not wanting to have anything to do with their grandchild.
“Not even the baby?”
She placed her hand on her belly. “Not even the baby. They told me it would be too hard to look at him or her and know Joshua wasn’t here.”
“You’ve got to be kidding!” Ryan’s hands tightened on the steering wheel.
“No. That isn’t something that I would kid about.”
“I’m sorry.”
“So am I. But I just think of it as their loss. If that’s the way they feel, then it wouldn’t ever be healthy for the baby to be around them. We’ll be better off without them.”
Ryan looked at the house one more time. By its appearance, the baby would be well cared for and loved. “I’ll see you to the door.”
“That’s not necessary.” She opened the car door.
He climbed out and hurried around the automobile. She’d started to her feet. He held out a hand. After a second she accepted it. His larger one swallowed her smaller one. Hers was soft and smooth, very feminine. So very different from his. A few seconds later she seemed to gather strength. She removed her hand from his and stood taller.
“Come on, I’ll see you to the door.” Even to his own ears it sounded as if he was ready to get rid of her.
“I’ll be fine. You’ve already helped enough by driving me home.” She started up the walk lined with flowers and stopped, then looked back at him. “I’m sorry to have bothered you.”
Ryan waited to see if she would turn around again, but she didn’t. When the light went out on the porch he pulled away from the curb.
Phoebe closed the door behind her with a soft click. Through the small window she saw the lights of Ryan’s car as he drove off.
What had she expected? That he would
immediately say, “I’ll take care of you, I’ll be there for you”? She moved through the house without turning any lights on. She knew where every piece of furniture and every lamp was located. With the exception of the few times that Joshua had been home during their marriage, no one had lived with her. Nothing was ever moved unless she did it.
Their marriage had consisted mostly of them living apart. They had met when she was eighteen and fresh out of school. The tall, dark man dressed in a uniform had taken her breath away. Joshua had made it clear what it would be like, being married to a serviceman, and she had been willing to take on that life. She was strong and could deal with it.
It hurt terribly that his parents had said they wouldn’t be around to help her with the baby. He or she needed grandparents in their life. With her parents gone they were the only ones. She’d been devastated when she’d received the letter stating they would not be coming around. They had sent some money. Phoebe had thought about returning it but had decided to start a fund at the bank for the baby instead. Not knowing their grandchild would be their loss.
For her the baby was about having a small part of Joshua still in her life. Her hope was that Joshua’s parents might change their minds. Either way, right now she was on her own. Not a feeling she enjoyed. In a moment of weakness she’d gone to Ryan’s house, but she didn’t plan to let him know how bone deep the hurt was that Joshua’s parents wanted nothing to do with her. How lonely she was for someone who’d known and loved Joshua.
She turned on the lamp beside her bed and glanced at the picture of her and Joshua smiling. They’d been married eight years but had spent maybe a year together in total. That had been a week or two here, or a month there. They had always laughed that their marriage was like being on vacation instead of the day in, day out experience of living together. Even their jobs had been vastly different. Joshua had found his place in the service more than with her. She’d found contentment in teaching. It had given her the normalcy and stability that being married to a husband who popped in and out hadn’t.
Each time Joshua had come home it had been like the first heart-pounding, whirlwind and all-consuming first love that had soon died out and become the regular thud of everyday life. They’d had to relearn each other and getting in the groove had seemed harder to achieve. As they’d grown older they’d both seemed to pull away. She’d had her set life and routine and Joshua had invaded it when he’d returned.
Removing her clothes, she laid them over a chair and pulled her pj’s out of the chest of drawers. She groaned. The large T-shirt reminded her of a tent that she and Joshua had camped in just after they’d married. The shirt was huge and still she almost filled it.
Pulling it over her head, she rubbed her belly. The baby had been a complete surprise. She’d given up on ever having children. She and Joshua had decided not to have them since he hadn’t been home often enough. She wasn’t sure whether or not she’d cared when they’d married or if she’d believed he would leave the army and come home to stay. The idea of having a family had been pushed far into the future. It had become easier just not to consider it. So when she’d come up pregnant it had been a shock.
Her fingers went to her middle, then to her eye, pushing the moisture away. She’d grown up with the dream of having a family one day. Now she was starting a family but with half of it missing.
She pulled the covers back on the bed and climbed in between the cool sheets. Bringing the blanket up around her, she turned on her side, stuffing an extra pillow between the mattress and her tummy. The baby kicked. She laid her hand over the area, feeling the tiny heel that pushed against her side.
The last time Joshua had been home they’d even talked of separating. They’d spent so little time together she’d felt like she hadn’t even known her husband anymore. She not only carried Joshua’s baby but the guilt that he’d died believing she no longer cared. Friendship had been there but not the intense love that she should have had for a husband.
CHAPTER TWO
THE NEXT MORNING Ryan flipped on the light switch that lit the stairs that led down to his workshop. He’d picked out this town house because of this particular space. Because it was underground it helped block the noise of the saws from the neighbors. The area was also close to the hospital, which made it nice when he had to be there quickly.
Going down the stairs, he scanned the area. A band saw filled one corner, while stationed in the center of the room was a table saw. The area Ryan was most interested in right now was the workbench against the far wall. There lay the half-made chair that he had every intention of finishing today. He would still have to spend another few days staining it.
Picking up a square piece of sandpaper, he began running it up and down one of the curved rockers. He’d made a couple of rockers when the nursery of the hospital had needed new ones. A number of the nurses had been so impressed they’d wanted one of their own. Since then he’d been busy filling orders in his spare time.
Outside the moments when a baby was born and offered its first spirited view of the new world with a shout, being in his shop was the place he was the most happy. Far better than his life in the military.
When he could stand it no longer, he’d resigned his commission. He’d had enough of torn bodies. He ran his hand along the expanse of the wood. It was level but not quite smooth enough. Now he was doing something he loved. But thoughts of Phoebe kept intruding.
He couldn’t believe that had been Joshua’s wife at his home the night before. Ryan had been living in Melbourne for five years. Joshua had always let him know when he was home, but in all that time he’d never met his wife. It had seemed like his friend’s visits had come at the busiest times, and even though the two of them had managed to have a drink together, Ryan had never seen her. Now all of a sudden she had turned up on his doorstep.
Even after he’d gotten her calmed down he hadn’t been sure what she’d wanted. It didn’t matter. Still, he owed Joshua. He should check on her. But first he’d see what Sophia could tell him.
The next morning, at the clinic, Ryan flipped through his schedule for the day. He had a number of patients to see but none had babies due any time soon. Maybe he would get a few days’ reprieve before things got wild again.
“You look deep in thought.”
He recognized Sophia’s voice and looked up. “Not that deep. You’re just the person I wanted to talk to.”
The slim woman took one of the functional office chairs in front of his desk. “What can I do for you?”
“I was just wondering what you know about Phoebe Taylor.”
“Trying to steal my patients now?” Her eyes twinkled as she asked.
Ryan gave her a dubious look.
She grinned. “She’s due in about five weeks. What’s happened?”
“She was waiting for me when I got home yesterday. At first I thought she’d gotten my name and address from you. That you were sending her to me because you would be on your honeymoon when it was time to deliver.”
Sophia shook her dark-haired head. “Oh, no, it wasn’t me. But I remember she mentioned you at one of her appointments and said she had your address.”
“I thought maybe she was looking for a midwife. She later told me she was the wife of an army buddy of mine.”
“Yes, she told me that you were good friends with her husband. Did she seem okay?”
“Not really. It was all rather confusing and she was quite emotional. I let her get warm, gave her something to drink and took her home.”
“She’s usually steady as a rock. I’ll find out what’s going on at her next appointment.”
“Thanks, Sophia. I owe her husband.”
“I understand. You are coming to my wedding, aren’t you?”
Sophia was marrying Aiden Harrison in a few weeks and she wanted everyone there for the event. Ryan wasn’t into weddings. He’d never been so close to someone he’d felt like marrying them. After his years in the military he was well aware of h
ow short life could be. Too young to really understand that kind of love when he’d entered the army, he’d soon realized he didn’t want to put someone through what Phoebe Taylor had been experiencing.
He didn’t understand that type of love. Knew how fleeting it could be. His parents sure hadn’t known how to show love. His foster-parents had been poor examples of that also. They had taken care of his physical needs but he’d always been aware that they hadn’t really cared about him. The army had given him purpose that had filled that void, for a while. That had lasted for years until the hundreds of faces of death had become heavier with every day. He well understood that losses lasted a lifetime. Even delivering babies and seeing the happiness on families’ faces didn’t change that. Those men he’d served with were gone. Yet, like JT, they were always with him.
He smiled at Sophia. “I plan to be there. I’ll even dust off my suit for the occasion.”
“That’s great. See you later.”
Ryan had seen his last patient for the day and was headed out the glass doors of the Prenatal Clinic in the hospital. A woman was coming in. He stopped to hold the door for her, then glanced up. It was Phoebe Taylor.
“Ah, hey.”
“Hello.” Her gaze flicked up at him and then away.
Phoebe must have been coming here for months. How many times had he passed her without having any idea who she was? She looked far less disheveled than she had two days ago. Her hair lay along her shoulders. Dressed in a brown, tan and blue dotted top over brown slacks and low-heeled shoes, she looked professional, classy and fragile.
“Are you looking for me?” Ryan asked.
“I’m here for my appointment with Sophia.”
Another mother-to-be came up behind Phoebe. She moved back and out of the way, allowing the woman to go past her. Ryan held the door wide, moving out into the hall. He said to Phoebe, “May I speak to you for a minute?”
A terrified look flicked in her eyes before she gave him a resigned nod. He had the impression that if she could forget they had already met, she’d gladly do so.
His Best Friend's Baby Page 2