Before he could say anything she started, “About the other evening. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have put you on the spot. I had no right to do that.”
Here she was the one apologizing and he was the one who should be. “Not a problem. I should have visited you after Joshua died.”
Her look was earnest. “That’s all right. I understand. Well, I have to get to my appointment.”
Apparently whatever she’d needed had been resolved.
“It was nice to meet you, Phoebe.”
“You, too.” She walked by him, opened the door and went through it. With a soft swish it closed behind her.
Why did he feel as if he needed to say or do more?
Ryan made it as far as his car before curiosity and a nagging guilt caused him to return to the clinic. He waited until Phoebe was finished with her appointment. Phoebe might not agree to him taking her to dinner, but he was going to try. He needed to know why she’d come to see him and even more if there was some way he could help her.
Now that she had contacted him he felt like he owed Joshua that.
On the way to his office he passed a nurse and asked that she let him know when Mrs. Taylor was finished.
Thirty minutes later the nurse popped her head in the door and said Phoebe was on her way out.
Ryan hurried to the waiting room and spotted her as she reached the door. When he called her name she stopped and turned. Her eyes widened in astonishment, then filled with wariness.
“I thought you had left.” Phoebe sounded as if she had hoped not to see him again. After his behavior the other night he shouldn’t be surprised.
“I came back. I wanted to ask you something.”
She raised her brows.
Phoebe wasn’t opening the door wide for him. She wouldn’t be making this easy.
Thankfully this late in the day the waiting room was empty. “I wondered if I could buy you dinner?”
Phoebe turned her head slightly, as if both studying and judging him. He must have really put her off the other evening. He prided himself on his rapport with people, especially pregnant women and their families. He had let this one down. The guilt he’d felt doubled in size.
“Please. I’d like to make up for how I acted the other night.”
“You don’t owe me any apologies. I’m the one who showed up on your doorstep unannounced.”
“Why don’t we both stop taking blame and agree to start again?”
Her eyes became less unsure. “I guess we could do that.”
“Then why don’t we start by having a burger together?”
“Okay.” She agreed with less enthusiasm than he would have liked.
“I know a place just down the street that serves good food. Andrew’s Burgers.”
“I’ve heard of it but never been there.”
“Great. Do you mind walking?”
“No, I haven’t had my exercise today.”
Ryan looked at her. If it hadn’t been for the baby, she would have been a slim woman. With her coloring she was an eye-catcher, pregnant or not. Her soft, lilting voice was what really caught his attention.
“If you’ll wait I’d like to lock up my office.”
She nodded. When he returned she was sitting in one of the reclining chairs in the waiting room with her hands resting on the baby.
“I’m ready.”
Phoebe looked at him. She pushed against the chair arm to support herself as she stood. “I think this baby is going to be a giant.”
“Every mother-to-be that I see thinks that about this time.”
As they made their way down the hall to the elevators, Ryan asked, “So how’re you and the baby doing?”
A soft smile came to her lips. “Sophia says we’re both doing great. I’ll have to start coming to clinic every week soon. I just hate that I’m losing her as my midwife. I’ve become very attached.”
“You are getting close.”
“I am.”
There was depression in her tone that he didn’t understand. He knew little about her, but she struck him as someone who would be ecstatic about holding a new life in her hands and caring for someone. Yet he sensed a need in her that he couldn’t put a finger on.
They went down the six floors to the lobby of the art deco building and out into the sunlight. The restaurant was a few blocks from the hospital.
“Let’s cross the street. I know a shortcut through the park.”
She followed him without question. A few minutes later they exited the park and were once again walking along the sidewalk. A couple of times they had to work themselves around other people walking briskly in the opposite direction. Ryan matched his stride to her shorter one and ran interference when someone looked as if they might bump into her.
“I can walk without help, you know.”
He glanced at her. She was small but she gave off an air of confidence. It was in complete contrast to her actions that night at his house. Something was going on with her. “I know, but I wouldn’t want you to accidentally fall and Sophia would have my head for it.”
“I think they gave up chopping off heads in Australia a long time ago,” she said in a dry tone.
“Still, I’m kind of scared of Sophia. I don’t know if I could face her if I let you get hurt.”
That got a smile out of her. “Here we are,” Ryan said as he pulled the glass door of the restaurant open and allowed Phoebe to enter ahead of him.
She wasn’t sure sharing a meal with Ryan was such a good idea. He’d asked nicely enough and she hadn’t eaten out in so long she hadn’t had the heart to say no. She suspected either his curiosity or some kind of obligation he felt toward Joshua had made him ask. No way had he changed overnight into being the emotional support she’d naively hoped he might be. A nice meal shared with someone was all she expected to get out of the next hour.
When Ryan was asked if they wanted a booth or table he glanced at her middle and grinned. He had a wide smile and nice even teeth. “I guess we’d better go for a table.”
They were directed to one. The restaurant was decorated in a 1950s diner style, all chrome, red-covered chairs and white tile on the floor. Lighting hung over each booth and table. It was still early for the dinner crowd so it wasn’t noisy. Phoebe wasn’t sure if she considered that good or bad.
She took a seat. Ryan sat in the chair across the table from her.
“So I need to order a hamburger, I’m thinking.” Phoebe took the menu out of the metal rack on the table.
“They have good ones. But there are also other things just as good.”
The waitress arrived and took their drink order. Phoebe opened a menu but Ryan didn’t. When the waitress returned with their glasses, she asked what they would like to order. Phoebe decided on the burger without onions and Ryan ordered his with everything.
The waitress left and Ryan asked, “No onions?”
“They don’t agree with me.”
“That’s typical. I know a mother who said she couldn’t cook bacon the entire first three months of her pregnancy.”
“Smells used to bother me but that has become better.”
Ryan crossed his arms and leaned on the table. “So do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?”
“I don’t know.”
“Really?”
Phoebe almost laughed at his look of shock. “Don’t want to know. I like surprises.”
“That’s pretty amazing in this day and age where everyone is wanting to know the sex and you don’t. I wouldn’t want to know, either. One of my favorite moments during a delivery is the look on the parents’ faces when they discover the sex.”
Phoebe got the impression that she’d gone up a notch in his estimation.
“You know, I don’t know any other male midwife.”
“There are only a few of us around. More in Australia than in the US.”
“So why did you become one?”
“I wanted to do something that made me smile.” He picked u
p his drink. “I was tired of watching people’s lives being destroyed or lost when I was in the service. I wanted to do something that involved medicine but had a happy ending. What’s better than bringing a life into the world?”
He was right. What was better than that?
The waitress brought their meals. They didn’t speak for a while.
It fascinated Phoebe that they were virtual strangers but seem to be content sharing a meal together. This evening stood in sharp contrast to when they had met. Being around this Ryan put her at ease for some reason. After their first meeting she would have sworn that couldn’t be possible.
She ate half her burger and chips before pushing them aside.
“You’re eating for two, you know,” Ryan said with a raised brow.
“The problem is that when this baby comes I don’t want to look like I ate for three.” She wiped her mouth with her napkin and placed it on the table.
“How’s your weight gain?”
Phoebe leaned back in her chair. “That’s certainly a personal question.”
“I’m a midwife. I ask that question all the time.”
“Yes, but you aren’t my midwife.”
He pushed his empty plate away. “I’ll concede that. But I’m only asking out of concern.”
“If it’ll make you feel better my weight is just fine. I’m within the guidelines.”
“Good. You look like you’re taking care of yourself.”
“I try to eat right and get some exercise every day.” She looked pointedly at her plate. “Not that this burger was on the healthy chart.”
He shrugged. “No, it probably isn’t, but every once in a while it’s okay.”
They lapsed into silence again as the waitress refilled their glasses and took away their plates.
A few minutes later Phoebe said, “I know this might be tough but I was wondering if you might be willing to tell me some stories about Joshua. Something I could tell the baby. Something about him outside of just what I remember.”
Ryan’s lips tightened and he didn’t meet her gaze.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
After a moment he met her look. “What would you like to know?”
“I guess anything. I feel like you knew him better than me. You spent far more time together than we did. I was wondering how you met?”
Ryan’s gray eyes took on a faraway look. “The Aussie and the US troops didn’t always hit it off, but JT and I did. We didn’t usually work together, but I was asked to go out on patrol with his platoon. Their medic was on leave and the replacement hadn’t made it in yet. My commander agreed. It was supposed to be an easy in and out of a village under our control. All went well until we were headed out, then all hell broke loose. The Iraqis had us pinned down and we couldn’t expect help until the next morning.
“A couple of JT’s men were seriously injured. While we spent long hours hunkered down together we got to know each other pretty well. He told me about you, and I told him about growing up in Texas.
“When I told him that I was tired of having to patch up people that another human had destroyed, he encouraged me to do something different. Even suggested I move to Australia for a new start. He joked that if he ever left the army he’d use his skills to become a police officer.”
Phoebe had never heard Joshua say anything about wanting to do that. He had told Ryan things he either hadn’t wanted to share with her or couldn’t. It made her sad and angry at the same time. She and Joshua had just not been as close as a married couple should have been.
“After that kind of night you know each other pretty well. We started getting together for drinks whenever we had leave at the same time.” His eyes didn’t meet hers. “JT found out that I didn’t get much mail so he shared his letters with me.”
For seconds Phoebe panicked, trying to remember what she had said in her letters. Misery overtook the panic. During the last few years of their marriage her letters had been less about them personally and more about what was happening with her students, how Melbourne was changing, what she was doing at the house. It had been as if she’d been writing to a friend instead of her husband.
“I always looked forward to your letters. They were full of news and I liked to hear about your class. The letters your students wrote were the best. There was something about them that helped make all the ugliness disappear for a while.”
“I’m glad they helped. My students liked writing them. Thank you for telling me about Joshua. I guess I just wanted to talk about him. This is his baby and he isn’t around. Just hearing about him makes him seem a little closer. But it’s time for me to go.” She needed to think about what Ryan had told her. The fact that someone had known her husband better than she had made her feel heartsick.
Ryan stood and Phoebe did also. She led the way to the door. Outside Ryan turned in the direction of the hospital.
“I need to go this way to catch the tram. Thanks for dinner.” She turned toward the left.
“I’ll give you a ride home,” Ryan said.
“I don’t want you to drive all the way out to my house.”
“I don’t mind and you don’t need to be so late getting home. Don’t you own a car?”
“No, I can take the tram to almost anything I need.”
“But you’re making two-hour round trips to see Sophia. In America we can’t live without a car. There isn’t public transportation everywhere.”
“Yes, but that’s only once a month and it’s worth it to have Sophia as my midwife. I wish she was going to be there for the delivery.”
“I realize that I live in Australia, but I can’t get used to prenatal care being called antenatal. It took me forever to tell the mothers I saw that they needed to come to the antenatal clinic. I just think prenatal.”
“The ideas and ways we grow up with are hard to change.”
“Yes, once an idea gets fixed in my head it’s hard to make me budge. And with that thought, not to make you feel bad, but you look like you could use some rest. I’m driving you home.”
“I am tired and I know now that you won’t change your mind. I’m going to accept the ride.”
“Good.”
Ryan escorted Phoebe back to the hospital and to his car. The sidewalk wasn’t near as busy as it had been earlier. It had been a long time since he’d done something as simple as stroll through a park with a woman. He couldn’t remember ever doing so with one who was expecting. People smiled and greeted Phoebe. She returned them. A number of times they turned to him and offered their congratulations. The first time he began to explain but soon realized it was a waste of time. Instead, he nodded noncommittally.
“I’m sorry,” Phoebe said after the first incident.
“Not your fault. You can’t help what they think.”
He had hardly pulled out of the parking area before Phoebe had closed her eyes. She was tired.
Ryan got a number of reactions when he told someone he was a midwife. He’d gotten used to it. But the one thing he couldn’t get used to was not being able to understand all the nuances of the female body when a baby was growing inside it. The sudden ability to go to sleep anywhere and in any position was one of those. It must be like being in the army. He had learned to sleep anywhere at any time.
Phoebe blinked with the small jolt of the car stopping. She’d fallen asleep again. It was getting embarrassing.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to go to sleep.”
“Not a problem. You’re not the first woman I’ve put to sleep.”
Phoebe gave him a questioning look. She bet she wasn’t. What had her thinking of Ryan in that suggestive way?
“I’m the one sorry this time. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Like what?” She gave him her best innocent look.
“You know, like …”
Phoebe enjoyed his flustered expression and the pinkness that began to work its way up his neck.
She rested her hands on
each side of her belly. “I’m well aware of the facts of life and how a man can satisfy a woman.”
He grinned. “You’re laughing at me now.”
Phoebe chuckled. “I guess I am.” She opened her car door. “Thanks for the burger and the ride. Also thanks for telling me about Joshua. You have no idea how much it means to me.”
“Hey, wait a minute.”
Before she could get completely out of the car Ryan had come round and was standing on the path, reaching to help her. His hand went to her elbow and he supported her as she stood. He pushed the door closed behind her and it made a thud.
“Listen, if there’s anything that I can do for you …”
He sounded sincere. “I appreciate it … Uh, there is one thing I could use some help with.”
“What’s that?”
His voice held an eager tone as if he was looking for a chance to atone for his earlier behavior. She hated to ask him but couldn’t think of another way to get it done before the baby came. “I had a bed for the baby delivered but it needs to be put together. I would pay you.”
Ryan looked as if she had slapped him. “You will not. How about I come by Saturday afternoon? If I have to work I’ll call and let you know, otherwise I’ll be here on Saturday.”
“Thank you, that would be wonderful.” And she meant it. She’d spent more than one night worrying over how she was going to get that baby bed assembled.
“Not a problem. Do you have tools or do I need to bring mine?”
“You might want to bring yours. I have a few but only necessities like a hammer and screwdriver.”
“Then it’s a plan. Why don’t you give me your number?” Ryan took out his cellphone and punched in the numbers she told him.
“I’ll be here after lunch on Saturday, unless you hear differently from me.”
“Thank you.”
“No worries. Furniture I can do.”
Something about Ryan made her believe that he had many talents if he was just willing to show them.
“Come on. I’ll walk you to your door.”
Phoebe didn’t argue this time.
“See you Saturday.” With that he turned and left her to enter her home.
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