Worth Killing For

by Jane Haseldine

  “I figured you would’ve woken me up if the cops found Phoenix Pontiac,” Julia said.

  “You know I would have. I keep my promises,” Navarro said. He poured coffee into a mug that read World’s Best Mom on the front, with a picture of Logan and Will on the back, and placed it in front of Julia on the kitchen island. “I’ve got a meeting at the station later this morning on the Angel Perez case. Russell and I went back to the convenience store across from the Home Depot in Dearborn last night after you left, and the manager swore the security video he gave us with Angel and the white van was intact.”

  “The convenience store should have the original video or at least have it backed up somewhere,” Julia said.

  “Russell and I looked at their feed at the store last night, and it was the same thing. The manager is supposed to call the security surveillance company this morning to see if they can figure out what’s going on,” Navarro said. “You okay, Gooden?”

  “What do you think?” Julia asked.

  “Sometimes you don’t like to hear what I’ve got to say, but at the risk of pissing you off, Phoenix Pontiac is conning you.”

  “You don’t know that. They never found a body in my brother’s case. That’s the only way I’ll ever be sure.”

  “You know how this works, as well as I do,” Navarro said. “Most missing persons’ cases, especially the ones involving kids, never get solved. And if they do, there’s no happy ending. I don’t want you to get hurt or have someone play you. If you were thinking clearly on this, you’d agree that Phoenix Pontiac’s timing is suspicious at best.”

  “I am thinking clearly,” Julia said.

  “No, you’re not. You’re letting your emotions sweep you up in whatever bullshit spin he’s reeling you into. Your dad shows up out of the blue and then Phoenix Pontiac mysteriously appears, claiming your brother is alive and gives you some cryptic warning to stay away from Duke. For all we know, maybe they’re working together.”

  “That makes no sense. Phoenix told me Ben said to stay away from my dad.”

  “You’ve got a harder edge than most people I’ve ever known. That’s what makes you such a good reporter. But you’re losing it right now because you want to believe what Pontiac is saying is true.”

  “You think Ben is dead?”

  “Don’t make me say it, Julia.”

  “Ben was the only good thing I ever had growing up. He planted a seed in me, and without it, I’m not sure if I would’ve turned out okay. I probably would’ve ended up like Duke or Sarah. All these years that have gone by, I never forgot my brother or what he did for me. Time passes, and the hurt is always still there, but it gets a little easier. I’m happy now, and content for maybe the first time in my entire life, with you and the boys, and that’s because I was starting to let myself move away from my past. Not that I’d ever give up trying to find out what happened to my brother, but I stopped letting his loss consume me. But now with Duke coming back and Phoenix Pontiac’s claims, my brother’s abduction is like a fresh wound all over again.”

  “You’re going to be okay. But you need to do me one favor, though. God knows I’m not the one to be giving parenting advice, but I do know what it’s like to be a scared kid. Until this situation with your dad is over with, I want to move you and the kids and Helen into a safe house or my place. I’m going to be wrapped up in the Angel Perez case and I’m not going to be able to be around all the time. It’s not good for Logan to be sleeping with a baseball bat next to his bed.”

  “I know. I’ll think about it,” Julia said. She put her untouched coffee mug down on the counter and reached for a bottle of water in the refrigerator. “I’m going out for a run.”

  “Not a good idea,” Navarro said. He looked down the hallway toward the still-closed bedroom doors and pulled Julia tightly against his body. She felt his hand move inside the fabric of her shirt and then slide across the length of her bare back. Her breath came fast as Navarro pinned her against the kitchen island with his hips and his mouth parted her own.

  “You’re killing me,” Julia said after she made herself pull away. “In case you forgot, there are little boys in this house.”

  “Sorry. I wasn’t being a gentleman, but the next time we’re alone, you’re in for a world of trouble.”

  “Can I quote you on that?”

  “I will deliver, beautiful. That’s a promise. Can I grab a shower? I’m meeting Russell for breakfast at the Downtown Café to talk about the Angel Perez case before we head to the station.”

  “Sure. Use the one in the hallway, next to the spare bedroom. Just lock the door so Helen won’t surprise you by accident.”

  Julia watched Navarro go into the bathroom and waited until she heard the water running in the shower. She wrote a quick note for Helen and the boys, in case they got up before her run, and headed out the front door to her porch to stretch. Julia worked through her series of movements, wincing over the fresh bruise that Phoenix Pontiac had inflicted on her right rib cage after he tackled her. It wasn’t that Julia liked running, something that was confirmed each time she started off on her usual predawn morning jog. It was the challenge of pushing herself harder than she thought she could, but more important, it was something she could control.

  Julia felt her breath match pace with the rhythm of the pounding of her sneakers on the pavement and did a quick sweep of her surroundings as she turned the corner away from her house. A black Ford Taurus was parked on the far end of a neighboring street, not a car she had seen before along her usual route. She reached toward the security of her waist pack and patted her knife with the three-inch blade.

  She ran to the opposite sidewalk, positioning herself farther away from the car. As she heard its ignition start, she looked over her shoulder to see the vehicle make a fast move toward her.

  The driver-side window of the car opened and Agent Kenny raised a Styrofoam coffee cup in Julia’s direction as the car kept pace next to her.

  “Ms. Gooden, good morning. We got off to a bad start. I was hoping I could make it up to you. I’ve got an extra coffee. Starbucks’ finest. A break from your morning running routine would do you good. You’re thirty-seven and young enough now, but all the pounding on your joints, by the time you hit fifty, you’ll wake up to the sound of your bones trying to pop their way back into place through battered, chewed-up cartilage. Ten miles again today?”

  “I don’t like being followed,” Julia answered as she picked up her pace.

  “The pretty boy you were trying to find in the bar last night, I figured it was a hookup behind your cop boyfriend’s back, and you had to have him so badly, you screwed the long-haired boy in the men’s room. Classy-looking women sometimes will surprise you, but we all have our needs. But by the way he hightailed it out of the place, I’d say it was something different. Who was the guy? Someone who works for your dad?”

  “No. It’s a story I’m working on, and I can’t talk about it.”

  “Is that right? Phoenix Pontiac, age thirty-eight. Originally from Livonia, unknown address in Chicago now. His mother was a drug addict, and he got shuttled through the foster care system.”

  Julia stopped and Agent Kenny’s vehicle did as well. He got out of his car and handed Julia a coffee.

  “No thanks.”

  “Suit yourself,” Kenny said. He buffed the roof of his car with the sleeve of his jacket and sat down. “I’ve got plenty more to share about Pontiac, if you’d like.”

  Julia turned away so Agent Kenny wouldn’t see the expression of want on her face.

  “I’m sure I’ve got as much as you do,” Julia said.

  “Pontiac dropped out of high school when he was seventeen. Got busted a few times for drugs, crystal meth, and low-end weed and drug paraphernalia charges. Then he got arrested on a charge of aggravated assault. He served time, but when he got out, he got popped again for drugs, made bail, and skipped town. The past year, he’s been living in Chicago, running clean for the most part. Now, let
me ask you, why would a nice girl like you be hanging out with a guy like that?”

  “Like I said, it’s for a story.”

  “I don’t like making deals, but I’m going to hunt down your dad. I know what’s most precious to you. Your kids, right? I’ve got three of my own. I think it’s safe to say, you and I are very different, but we’re the same in that we’d do anything for our children. But what happened to your brother, you’ve never been able to get over that. Your brother and what happened to him hangs as precious to you as your own little boys. Thirty years not knowing, it’s got to nearly kill a soul. You bring me Duke, I’ll solve your mystery.”

  “I can’t bring in a dead man.”

  “I’ve scratched your itch, Ms. Gooden, haven’t I? You think about it. You know how to reach me. And if I were you, I wouldn’t make it a habit of running alone these days.”

  Agent Kenny poured the remainder of his steaming coffee out onto the street and got back into his car. “I’d hate to see something happen to you. I’m no fan of reporters, but I figured you’ve suffered enough in your life after what happened to your brother and the scandal with your now-deceased husband.”

  “You don’t scare me.”

  “Sure I do.”

  Julia pivoted and ran as fast as she could in the opposite direction as Kenny started up his car. Julia looked over her shoulder at the FBI agent’s oncoming pursuit and made a quick right into a neighbor’s yard, pushing through the fence and running the length of the backyard until she made it to the woods that ran parallel to her house.

  The woods were lush and thick from the July Michigan heat, and Julia tried to outrun the mosquitoes and deerflies that hummed in her ears and circled her bare arms and legs as she passed, until she reached her own backyard. She looped past Logan and Will’s tree house and reached her hand into her waist pack, where she pulled out her ringing phone, assuming it was Navarro giving her a ration of grief for going for a run alone.

  Julia glanced at her phone screen and the unknown number. She made it a habit never to answer unfamiliar calls, figuring it was a marketer or a pissed-off source; but this time, she held the phone to her ear and hit the play button.

  “Julia Gooden,” she answered as she circled around the side of her house to the front door.

  Ten seconds of silence followed and Julia was about to hang up, but then a man’s voice came on the line.

  “Julia? I . . . ,” the man started, his voice thick with emotion. “Is this really you?”

  “Yes, who is this?” Julia asked.

  “It’s me, Julia. Oh, my God, it’s me. It’s your brother, Ben.”

  CHAPTER 18

  Julia leaned against the side of her house to support herself as the world seemed to move in fluid ripples all around her.

  “Ben?” Julia asked.

  “Yes. God, kid. Are you okay?”

  Julia closed her eyes as tightly as she could and wrapped every part of her being around the voice. She felt a dizzying joy move through her as she pictured her first hero, always preserved in her mind as a feisty and perfect nine-year-old boy, assuring her they were going to be all right. Julia realized this could be the moment she had always dreamed of since she was seven, one that she believed could never really happen. Julia scrambled to come up with all the things she had promised she’d tell Ben if he ever came home, a boundless list of wishes, failures, hurts, and secret dreams that had accumulated in her life like a brimming sack of personal, heartfelt letters never sent. All of it, every second she had missed with her brother, wanted to burst out of her in an explosive release, but then a reasoning voice in the back of her head cried out a warning that there was no guarantee it was actually her brother who was calling.

  “You’re Ben?”

  “Yes. I swear, baby sister. It’s me.”

  “I’ve got two answers for you then, depending on who you really are. If this is you, I’ve missed you more than you could ever know, and I never, ever gave up trying to find you. But if this isn’t my brother, whoever you are, if you’re playing a game with me, I swear, I’ll hunt you down and kill you.”

  Julia heard a warm, heartfelt laugh on the other end of the phone.

  “You toughened up, I knew you would.”

  Julia tried to keep her hand from shaking as she held on to her phone for dear life. She reminded herself how many times people who talked a real good game on her beat were merely working a very well-rehearsed lie they had perfected so masterfully, often times it had morphed in their minds to the God’s honest truth.

  “Right now, to me, all you are is a voice. If you’re my brother, prove it.”

  “Good move. You don’t believe everything people tell you. I taught you well. As for your request, it’s an easy one. I’ve replayed every minute I spent with you in my mind at least a million times. Each night, before I fall asleep, I think of you and I remember our life in Sparrow. We were born into a crappy life, but I always tried so hard to make it good for you.”

  “Then answer my question.”

  “You’re direct, too. I like it. Okay, little sis. Before bed, we used to talk about the New York Yankees.”

  “When my brother was abducted, there was a picture of me that ran in the local paper. I was sitting on the front step of our house in Sparrow, holding his New York Yankees ball. Nice try. Give me something else.”

  “My Julia is tough. Okay, on the last day we spent together, I took you to Funland, and I got you tickets to ride the carousel. I thought you’d be okay to go on alone, but you were scared. I felt really stupid because I was nine, and I thought it would be lame if anyone from school saw me on the merry-go-round, so I was going to make you go alone. But right before the ride started, I could see that you were about to cry. I jumped on so you’d be okay. You want another?”

  “Please,” Julia answered, but this time her voice gave way and she cursed herself as she heard it crack.

  “You okay, Julia? This has got to be a lot for you. It is for me, too.”

  “I’m fine. Keep going.”

  “Right before we moved into the house in Sparrow, we all had to live in Dad’s old Chrysler for a couple of weeks, and you’d sleep with your head against my shoulder. I made up a story about a magical wizard named Mr. Moto, and I’d tell it to you so you’d relax. That was the only way you’d fall asleep.”

  She covered the phone with her hand and started to sob; her deep, wracking cries felt like they would never end.

  “I’m so sorry, Julia. Please believe me. I would’ve never made you suffer all this time, wondering what happened to me. But I didn’t have a choice. I had to protect you. Staying away was the only way I could.”

  “If my brother were alive, nothing would have stopped him from coming home to me.”

  “I understand why you’d think that way, but it’s not true. If the people who kidnapped me thought I was dead, they would’ve figured they already had their pound of flesh. But if they knew I was alive, they would’ve come after you.”

  “Why?”

  “I have so many questions I want to ask you, too, but we need to make this quick. Do you know where Stinson Trail is?”

  “Sure, but it’s closed right now. I used to run up there. The city is doing some kind of construction to fix the trail.”

  “You can still access it, though. Meet me there in thirty minutes. Come alone, and I’ll explain everything. Has Duke contacted you?”

  Duke’s name made Julia pause as she wondered if Ben would call him that instead of “Dad.” Her thoughts flew back to Duke’s warning when she saw him in Sparrow, confirming that no matter how much she wanted this to be true, she needed to play it safe until she could see if the person she was talking to really was her brother.

  “My father is dead.”

  “Don’t believe it. He’s alive and dangerous. Duke was the reason I was abducted and I barely escaped. All these years, I tried to keep what he did away from you. But he has a mark on your head now.”

  �
�What do you mean?”

  “Just meet me at Stinson Trail, and I’ll tell you everything, I swear.”

  “Where do you want to meet?”

  “So you know about the two parking lots? One is by the main entrance and the other one is by the lake. There’s a service road if you take the second exit to the lake. Follow the service road. Leave your car in the lot by the beginning of the trail. About a quarter mile down the trail, there’s a playground. I’ll be waiting there for you. You need to come alone. You’ll do that for me, right?”

  “I’m going to bring a friend of mine. He’s a police officer and I trust him with my life.”

  “No. It has to just be you. This is important. Don’t let me down. I love you, Julia. I’ll be waiting for you.”

  “Why do I need to come alone?” Julia asked.

  “Just trust me, kid. I swear, I’ll explain everything when I see you.”

  “Okay. I’ll be there and I’ll come alone.”

  The phone went dead and Julia looked back at her house where the beautiful life that she tried so hard to build was waiting for her inside as her past and present collided head-on.

  Julia reached into her waist pack for her car keys and got inside her SUV. She looked inside the window of her kitchen and saw Helen pouring two glasses of milk and putting them in front of her boys as Navarro was busy showing something to Logan on his phone.

  Julia felt a strong tug go off inside her, and she instinctively wanted to go back to her family.

  (“I’ll never leave you. Not in a million years.”)

  Julia put her key in the ignition as Ben’s voice from long ago whispered its haunting promise in her head. She looked back at her family in the window one last time and hit the gas. If it was Ben waiting for her at the park, Julia owed him her life. If she was making a mistake, one way or another, at least she had to know.

  When Julia reached the on-ramp to the highway, she called Navarro.