The Darker Side Of Me (A Ravana Moon Novel Book 1)

by S. L. Perrine

  “Why do you keep fighting this?”

  Her speed always caught me off guard. She had me pinned to the silver wall behind me. My skin was covered, but I began to feel the heat through my clothes.

  She leaned into me, her mouth close to my ear and spoke with a low growl, “Stop pushing my buttons. I promise you won’t like the results.” She placed her tongue against my jaw and slide it up to the outside of my eye before letting go, and pulling me away from the wall. “They want you here. Not me. Hands off. Or I’ll cut them off,” she said with a tilt of her head.

  “Testy, love.”

  She shook her head and opened the first of the four doors across the hall. It had no lock on it as the others had. It opened into a larger space. It was the size of half the building. Completely open and full of the rising sun.

  “How is your perversion?” She pointed to the glow of light as it filled the room.

  “I have none. Just as you.” Normally I may have, but the little ring I wore was a miracle worker. Made of titanium and the hematite in the middle infused with magic. It allowed nightwalkers the ability to absorb sunlight.

  She looked at me and must have decided I wasn’t going to burst into flame because she abruptly opened the door wider and let me enter in front of her.

  “This is the common area. From time to time other Keepers and their charges need a place to stay. This apartment is open to everyone. If you find one of the rooms here nicer, you can stay here instead.”

  The room had wall to wall dark oak floors. A square grey shag carpet sat underneath a large white sofa and matching loveseat. The coffee and end stands were as dark as the floors and almost blended in. The walls were white, making the light reflect the space to look larger. The floor above had no effect on the height of the ceilings. Wood beams shown several feet below, but was still high enough I wouldn’t be able to reach them without using my vampire reflexes. White shaded lights hung from above, but was probably not even needed at night. The lights of Belltown could probably light the place from the street. The wall opposite the door was floor to rafter windows. No shades, curtains, or covers of any kind. Looking out during the day I could make out the nearby buildings. At night I could probably see right into the Space Needle.

  To the right was an open kitchen, divided by a large wrap around island counter. The galley was big enough for two people to work in unison, but it would be a rather tight fit. Black appliances and copper accessories protruded from white cabinetry. It was breathtaking, and definitely a step up from the abandoned building I currently resided in.

  Granted, I could afford a place just as nice. Living as long as we did, meant we were collectors. Money was the most important of the things. The others were weapons and blood. I liked to have a plethora of all three.

  She didn’t continue the tour with the rest of the open apartment. So, I wandered in to take a look at the first of the rooms. It was spacious. A queen-sized bed, private bath, and walk-in closet. I took notice of the blacked-out curtains and the darker walls.

  “So, the Order has more vampires that work for them? Or is this meant for friends of yours?”

  “Of course, they do. You don’t think we are the first they’d employ, do you? They use whatever resources they can. Monsters such as us, included. The windows in here are meant to make sure they behave. Most of the agents are human, as are the Keepers.”

  She sauntered her way up the single step to the door and disappeared out into the hall. I took a last look around and figured I’d keep the apartment with the lock on the door. No reason to voluntarily allow monsters to stay with me.

  The next two rooms were similar. Both vast apartments without locks. Both had two to three bedrooms, and all of them were set up for creatures of the night to feel comfortable.

  The last room was what piqued my interest a bit more. If the Order was so keen on employing the worst type of villain, what would they need a work out room for? It was roughly the size of the other apartments, though the windows wrapped around the corner of the building. The machines looked used. There were two large bags hanging from the ceiling, and a few elliptical machines. The most intriguing was the weight bench. Vampires were unnaturally strong.

  “Why? What’s the Order up to with this space?”

  “You forget, this is my building, not the Orders. I like to keep my employees in shape. Just in case I’m followed, and they need to defend themselves. I also enjoy a good workout; releasing endorphins and such. Helps to keep cravings at bay.”

  “Oh, so there are cravings.”

  “Oh, no. Not what you think. There’s a room for that as well. No, this allows me to get rid of those pesky sexual cravings, and focus on my objective when I don’t have someone readily available for my bed.”

  She let her hand slide up the back of a bench. The slow seductive move of a woman out to make me beg. I knew she wouldn’t give in, not yet anyway. So, I turned, quickly adjusting myself behind my zipper and looked around as if I were studying the equipment in the room.

  “Very impressive.” I moved back to look her in the eye, not giving anything away. I wanted her off guard the next time I took her in my arms, so she had less of a chance to say no. “So, where is the room for, the other?”

  She let her hand drop and headed for the door. She looked at me in a mirror and winked. “That’s upstairs in my private rooms. I’ll show you if you’d like.”

  Chapter 8

  Ravana

  He was playing coy. I could see it. Though, if I were honest with myself I would say that it’s a good thing. I didn’t actually want him in my bed. Well, not until I got the answers from Emerick. I took him back to the elevator and let the scanner identify me. I suppose I’d have to set to the task of adding him as well. Or, I could just add his Keeper. No need for him to have access without an escort into my personal space.

  We stepped through my door once more to find Delia hadn’t moved an inch. She had at least straightened her clothes and laid her jacket on a chair, but the books were still a disheveled mess athwart my floor. Delia looked up at me as if she hadn’t already greeted us when we’d first arrived. “Oh, hello.” Then back to the book in her hand.

  “Interesting reading?”

  “Well, yes. You gave me a name. I’ve found so much information on Emerick, it’s amazing it was all right here all this time. All I needed was his name.” She started to laugh and with it, a foul snort escaped her. Her hand rose to her mouth and nose to try to combat the noise, to no avail. Her eyes darted up toward the man behind me and she blushed.

  “My goodness, I apologize.” She rose to her feet and extended a hand. “You must be Massimo. I just want to thank you for agreeing to work with us. It’s refreshing to have a charge that wants to see justice done. I can’t seem to get Ravana on board even though she’s been with the Order for so many years. Too many, really. She seems to just want out, but most vamps do. Do you drink coffee? I can make some.”

  “Whoa, Delia take a breath. We talked about this.” I held a hand out to catch her as she stumbled.

  Delia moved her hands flat in front of her as if she were putting down her proverbial brakes. “Right, slow. Got it.” She looked back to Massimo. “She hates it when I ramble on. I think she just dislikes me. So, coffee?”

  “Delia. No, nobody needs any more coffee. Besides, he’s a vampire. They only drink the red stuff.”

  The poor girl’s eyes grew wide and she gulped a bit of air. That got her to shut up. “Yes, of course. I’ll get a keeper here with a fresh supply of bags.”

  “Good. He’s in number four downstairs.”

  “Right next to me. How comforting.”

  “I won’t be home when you are.” Massimo put on his best seductive smile.

  “Ah, well, yes. I’ll get to it.”

  “Good, we’ll be in the infusion room. Go get some sleep.”

  It was a quick tour through the main living area to the back of the office space, then I pulled Massimo through a heav
y iron door. Inside was a short hallway. A wooden door to the left opened when the other closed. I watched his eyes gape open at the ten-foot-tall shelves that covered all four walls in the room. The middle was a giant pillar of shelves, covered from floor to ceiling; a wrought iron circular staircase wrapped around it. In between the wall shelves and the middle were small plush armchairs, and little tables.

  “I get it now.”

  “What?”

  “That girl. She’s your Keeper. Those genius types love books.”

  “Yes, that she does. I think she gets high on them.” I laughed and left the room. “You coming?”

  “Wait…there’s more? When does this place end?”

  “Oh, last room. I promise. Besides storage, there’s not much more to see.”

  We stepped across the hall to the other door. Dark oak again, just like the one into the library. The lights flickered on as we stepped in. A table stood in the middle of the room, with machines at the head. I sat down on the flat surface and it conformed to my body like a recliner.

  “This is the infusion room.” He looked wide-eyed at the machines propped behind my head. I turned to grab one of the clear hoses from a drawer under the tallest screen. A needle in a separate pack fell on my lap. I picked it up and fingered it. “Can you handle the smell if you’re not ingesting?”

  “I’ve fed today. I’m fine.”

  “Okay. Then I’ll show you.”

  Grabbing a large rubber band from the table I wrapped it tight around the upper part of my arm. I pulled the needle from its sheath. An alcohol wipe sat on a metal table next to me. I picked it up and ripped it open, then wiped the inside of my arm at the bend. I pushed the needle into my vein. Massimo stood there watching with interest. He didn’t ask questions, but rather just looked on as I connected the tubing to the needle in my arm, and then used the other end of the hose to pierce a bag filled with red liquid.

  “This is how you get your blood?”

  “Yes. I’ve never been keen on feeding on humans. As you should remember. This keeps me more human than vamp. I really just need food, as humans do. However, just as someone with anemia needs iron, I require regular blood infusions. It makes me feel more human than vampire.”

  “Obviously.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I pulled the band from my arm and opened the flow of the blood into my vein laying back on the hard surface.

  “You can’t stand vamps. Why would you want to feel like one by ingesting blood the old-fashioned way?”

  “This is the old-fashioned way. It’s also the way I don’t become the monsters I hunt.”

  He moved closer to me inspecting the crimson as it flowed through the tubing and into my arm. “And if I ingested my blood this way, would you feel less threatened by me?”

  “I don’t…you don’t make me feel threatened.”

  “Then what is it? What makes my touch make you want to run away? Even now.” He placed his hand on my shoulder, his fingers skimming the skin at my neck and I shuddered.

  “Don’t.”

  “Don’t what, Ravana? Touch you? Give in to whatever this is? Can’t you see we were made for each other? There is a reason we get under each other’s skin.”

  “I can think of a few reasons. Repulsion being at the top of the list.”

  “Do me a favor, Red?”

  “What?” I could hear the snap in my tone.

  “Shut up.” His mouth crushed down against mine. His fingers moved along the back of my head entangling with the messy bun I drew my hair into. He clutched the band and pulled it free while his other hand hard-pressed fingers into my neck, my shoulder and then my hip as he stood alongside the table. I tried to move, but my arm was still detained by the inserted needle. My freehand draped around to the back of his head and pulled at his hair crushing him to me. I felt myself express a moan as his hands explored me, and then moved to the laces of my jeans. His fingertips dug into my bare skin where the fabric didn’t cover my legs. I sighed with his touch, even as his hand moved to the flat of my stomach.

  When he pulled away, my mouth felt bruised and my head was reeling. He gazed into my eyes and smiled. “See, we fit.”

  “No, we’re creatures with an insatiable lust for pleasure, regardless of whom it’s with.”

  “Do you really feel that way?”

  I didn’t know. I couldn’t know. I wouldn’t believe I could be so effortlessly tempted to be with a man who was more creature than I was. Did it matter? If we found Emerick and he couldn’t do anything to change him, then what? I’d either have to accept him or walk away. The fact that he was in my home was proof positive that I couldn’t walk away either. I was screwed.

  “Ravana?”

  “Massimo, I don’t know. I’ve never had this problem before.”

  “What problem, love? I don’t see one. I’m not a monster, you know that.”

  “Do I?” The machine above me beeped. The bag was empty. I was already feeling the effects. Being replenished was always an energizing experience.

  He took one look at the empty bag and his eyes turned gold. Not red like vampires did, but gold like mine. His hand moved to my arm and he pulled the needle out with some force. The pain didn’t bother me so much as it excited me, as did the look in his eyes. He picked me up from the table, hooked my legs around his waist and pulled me from the room. His mouth was crushed against mine again, as he walked through my apartment. His hands held my bottom rocking my hips into him as he moved, and I could feel what was transpiring within him.

  He broke away from me, but my hands still held tightly to the back of his head. “Which way to your room?”

  I couldn’t think straight. I wanted this, didn’t I? “Straight through to the left.”

  His mouth found mine again and he used his excessive speed to bring me to the soft touch of my bed. When he laid me down he was next to me in an instant. His mouth eased back, but his kiss remained. I realized he’d retracted his fangs as the feeling of them grazing against my mouth stopped. Then he moved away so he was looking at me. His hands traveled down the sides of my legs like he was craving the contact of our skin together.

  “You are simply exquisite, Red. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Flattery? It didn’t work the first time.”

  “That’s because you got spooked and ran away.” He let his hand rest flat against my stomach, the other played with my hair as he stayed propped up on his arm.

  “No, I realized what you are.”

  “What is that? To you I mean? Why is it so bad?”

  “I was born to kill vampires, Massimo. It’s all I know. It’s the only thing about my past life that I remember. Something ingrained in me so much, that it remained in my subconscious when all else did not. That is something I cannot ignore.”

  “He did this to me. Against my will. Doesn’t that count for something? Does it not count that I haven’t ever embraced what I am? That we were both made to live this way?”

  Could it really mean something different? He hadn’t become a monster by choice, just as I had no choice. “I can’t—. I don’t know.” I moved from the bed in a breath and stood by the door. “You need to leave. We can start hunting Emerick at sunset. I’ll wake you.”

  He took his time, seeming more human than he possibly could be to get off the bed and move to the door. He put his hand on the handle and looked at me, but my gaze moved toward the inside of the room.

  “This isn’t done, Red.”

  “It is.” I shoved him through the door and closed it. I knew he would leave. I heard the elevator chime and start it’s decent to the lower floor. When I could hear the doors open once more I let the breath I held release. The only way he could get back on my floor was if Delia or I let him in. Since Delia was asleep for the day, I knew I could rest in peace.

  Chapter 9

  Massimo

  She was being so damn difficult. I knew I could break her. I had to. I also knew it had to be done before we foun
d Emerick. Another small detail I wouldn’t be sharing with her. She’d need to know eventually, but not yet. I needed for her to be mine first. I need her to see we are the same. Damn woman.

  In my haste to get kicked out of her bed, yet again, I had forgotten to get a key for my new digs. The sun was already up, and even though it was merely uncomfortable, I didn’t want to venture out. I moved to the right side of the hallway and chose one of the community apartments, picked a bed and fell on it. The light showed under the door and I tried to ignore it. Every time I closed my eyes I could smell her. She was all over me; peppermint. It was intoxicating. She smelled like Christmas, and boy was she a present I couldn’t wait to unwrap.

  I tossed over on my back and looked at the ceiling. The room was too large. That was the problem. The floor above was too far from me, and I felt like I was going to drift away in all that open space. I pulled my shirt off and tossed it at the door to block out the light and moved back to my stomach.

  My vision skewed, and the room tilted behind my heavy eyelids. Before I knew it, I was laying on top of Red. Her hands snaked around my body. Bright red nails scrapped against my back, drawing blood in their wake. I could feel the sticky wetness begin to roll down my sides. The iron flakes in her nails burned at my flesh. Her teeth grazed my bottom lip and my body reacted with a soft moan. She tilted her hips into my growing erection. It pulsed against my zipper.

  I moved my hands across her middle, pulling the white blouse from the waist of her jeans. I couldn’t stop gawking at the bare skin exposed behind those laces; from her delicate ankles to her waist. I wondered for just a moment if she’d be upset at the destruction of those pants, and then let my hands do what they would. I pulled one lace after another, tearing them from their hold around her. When they were nothing more than a pair of panties with legs I ripped the middle of the fabric that covered her. She whimpered, and I growled at the sight of more fabric between us. I let my teeth fall and ripped the waist of the pants, tossing the scraps to the floor.

  Her hands moved to my hair as my teeth moved to the black silk which kept me from her. Instead of giving her what she wanted, I was going to make her beg. I planned on torturing her for turning me away. I moved the elastic band from the inside of her thigh and slid the tip of my finger up and down her arousal. The slightest trace made her hips buck forward, begging for me to touch her fully. I put both hands on her hips and pushed her into the mattress.