Cherishing You

by JoRae Andrews

  My head is spinning so fast I don’t know what to think. To be honest, the only thing I’m thinking about right now is how good it feels to have Ethan’s mouth on mine. He tastes like Heaven, and he has me so worked up that my panties are soaked. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted someone as much as I want him right now. Everything is different with Ethan, like I have no self-control when it comes to him. I’ve gone from swearing him off and trying to avoid him like the plague, to not being able to keep my hands off him whenever we’re near each other.

  Of course, part of the reason is he’s an amazing kisser. I part my lips, and he doesn’t hesitate to explore the inside of my mouth. Everywhere he touches, he leaves a trail of fire burning, and it’s making me so hot I swear I’m going to combust. I trail my hands down his neck and across his shoulders; I want to touch him everywhere. I slide them inside the top of his shirt and grip the back of his neck. I love to feel his skin; it’s so soft, yet his muscles are so tight. Hearing a noise, I realize it’s coming from me—I’m moaning just at the feel of him. I move my mouth from his lips to his neck, licking and kissing all the way. He has his hands on my ass, gripping me so tight.

  Oh, my God, it feels good!

  He hitches me up higher on the wall, and I hold on to his broad shoulders for support. I feel him tug at the bottom of my shirt as if asking for permission. I look up at him and can tell he’s waiting for my response. He doesn’t want to push me, letting me know he’s giving me all the control, so I decide to show him how I feel instead of talking. I lift my shirt over my head and throw it across the room. Apparently, that’s all the permission he needs, because he instantly covers my nipple with his mouth and sucks so hard it hurts. I never knew pain could hurt so much yet feel so amazing at the same time. The thrill of it sends a shock straight to my core.

  I roll my head backwards and arch my back, pushing my breasts out further. Of all the years I’ve known Ethan, I never knew he was so talented with his lips and his hands. I can only imagine what it’ll feel like as he tastes my center. The thought alone practically makes me convulse; I can feel my clit throbbing already.

  He releases my nipple and moves to the other, giving it the same attention. Then he trails his lips back up my chest, my neck and across my chin until he reaches my mouth, where he begins again. His beard scratching my skin only adds to my exhilaration. Between that and his rock-hard length pressing at my core, my nerve endings are screaming for release.

  He lifts me from the wall, my legs still locked around his hips, and carries me over to the couch, not breaking from our kiss the whole time. I seriously think I could do this for the rest of my life; his mouth on mine has the best taste in the world.

  As soon as he sets me on the couch, he lays me back and climbs on top of me. Somehow, he manages to do all this without breaking our kiss. The weight of him on my body feels so good, and it seems to heighten my senses; I don’t ever want him to stop. I run my hands along his sides and around to his back, where I trace the hard contours of his muscles. He makes me feel so safe and secure; it’s intoxicating.

  He moves from my mouth, and it’s like my body has a mind of its own. My head drops back, and I press my hips tighter against his. I hear him groan as he places sweet kisses along my neck. The scrape of his beard sends my senses into overdrive, pushing me higher. His fingertips brush my hair back from my shoulder, and then I feel his lips there, setting my skin on fire with each touch. He moves his lips down to my chest and takes my right nipple into his mouth once more, rolling the left one between his thumb and finger gently. He slows his suckling on my nipple, and it feels amazing.

  I decide I really want to feel his skin on mine, so I tug up his shirt and he quickly complies; reaching behind himself, he pulls it up and over his head, throwing it on the floor. He grabs both of my breasts and buries his face between them for a minute, his beard tickling me, forcing a quick giggle.

  I fucking love how this man knows how to drive me crazy!

  He looks up at me, those sexy eyes of his shining and a smile on his face. Both of us are breathing hard, and the realization makes me giggle again.

  “What’s so funny, beautiful?”

  “I just realized that you’re breathing as hard as I am. I’m glad to know you’re just as affected by this,” I say, chuckling.

  “Of course I’m affected by you, silly girl. I’ve only dreamt of this, and for a long time,” Ethan says, with a quick laugh of his own.

  I pull his face up to mine. “I have too. My only regret is that we waited so long to show each other.” With that, I place a soft kiss on his lips; he doesn’t hesitate to kiss me back, but gently this time. He uses the same slow and steady rhythm he did on my nipple, and I like it just as much. I want this man, but I also want to have everything out in the open before we go any further. As much as I’m amped up for him, I have to stop this or that’s not going to happen.

  As if he senses my hesitation, he pulls back and gives me a questioning look for a moment before he sits back. Lifting my legs, he puts my feet on his lap.

  Hmm, I don’t even remember kicking off my shoes.

  “So, spill it. What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?”

  I stay silent for a moment while I gather my thoughts. We obviously have mutual feelings for each other, and he’s already proven he wants me as much as I want him. Plus, it doesn’t feel like a fling to me when we touch; it’s much deeper than that.

  “I don’t want to say the wrong thing, but we both need to know what the other is thinking. I want to talk to you like we would have before—of course, with a few exceptions, like you kissing me and all.”

  He laughs. “Yeah, that’s a definite step in our relationship.”

  “Okay, so just to make sure we’re on the same page, Kelly is nowhere in the picture, right?”

  “Right. She was gone not even a month after you left me.”

  “I’m sorry you felt like I left you but, in a way, I guess I can see how you’d believe that. I just couldn’t stand by and watch her in my place. In my eyes, she was a witch who was trying to ruin your life. I couldn’t make you change your mind about marrying her, and she was having your baby. I knew the best thing to do was to separate myself from the whole situation so I wouldn’t make things worse for you. I could feel the daggers she would throw me every time we were even in the hallway at the same time. She would be all fake nice to your face, but as soon as it was just the two of us she was rude and snobby. I knew she was bullshit, but then again, maybe it was because I was so damn jealous of her. It should’ve been me you had your arms wrapped around, not some phony bitch who only wanted you because she could.”

  By this point, my breath is hitching because I’m talking so fast, but I can’t seem to help it. I need to let it all out, once and for all.

  “She didn’t know you like I did. She didn’t know your favorite color or that you like football but hate baseball. She didn’t know how much you love banana peppers on your pizza, or how much you hate it when there are onions in your food. I did, and I’d waited too late to tell you because I was afraid you didn’t see me as anything other than your friend. I couldn’t handle losing you or making things awkward between us. If you didn’t feel the same way, I would’ve been humiliated. I couldn’t do it.

  “Instead, I lost you anyway. That’s what hurt most of all—I lost you, and she had you.” I realize there are tears streaming down my face, and when I look up, there are tears in his eyes as well.

  I take a deep breath and start to stand, but he puts his hands on my legs, stopping me.

  “Andi, please don’t run again. Don’t leave yet, okay?”

  “Okay, I just need a moment.” With that, I get up and go to the restroom. I wash my face then stand there for a few minutes in an attempt to control my emotions. I don’t know why I’m so emotional; he must think I’m a big baby. I laugh at myself. It doesn’t matter, and I know he isn’t making fun of me. I’ve meant everything I’ve said, and I neede
d to say it. I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

  When I come out of the restroom, Ethan is still sitting on the couch right where I left him. He looks up with a big, sweet smile on his face before reaching up to grab my hand, tugging me down on his lap. I feel a flutter in my chest at the simple movement. His smile is enough to make my heart swell.

  I love this man, and I hope I never have to go without him again.

  I want to hold her and never let her go. I wrap my arms around her and pull her tight against me, placing a gentle kiss to the top of her head before taking a deep breath. The smell of her hair is intoxicating, but everything about her is. And I want to be drunk off her body for the rest of my life, but I have to finish the past first. We need to get it all out before we can move forward.

  “Andi, I had no idea you felt that way about me. If I had, we would’ve never had to deal with all this shit we’ve been through these past four years. I’ve always felt the same way about you. I wanted you so bad I couldn’t see straight, but I was scared shitless to admit it. I was convinced that you would never look at me as a boyfriend, that you would probably smack me if I told you, and I couldn’t take the chance of not having you in my life. Then, when I found out you’d left, I was crushed. I lost all purpose in life because, without you, I had no future. I could only see darkness. You’ve always been my sunshine.” I give her a squeeze.

  “So, back to your first question, about Kelly. You were right about her; she hated you, but I realized it was because she could probably see how much I really cared about you. She knew I cared way more about you than I did her, so she was doing whatever she could to break our friendship up. She felt threatened, and rightfully so. I just wish I’d had the nerve to tell you then how I felt.

  “Now as far as the baby goes, I would have stuck by her, for its sake, but I don’t know if I would’ve married her or not. I knew she wasn’t who I wanted for my wife, but I needed to factor in the baby and do what was right for it. Turns out, she was lying to me, there was no baby. She was faking the pregnancy the entire time. That girl should’ve been an actress as good as she was at spinning a story.”

  “I’m sorry that happened to you, Ethan. I know you’ll make a great father someday. How did you find out she was lying?”

  “After I got past the initial shock of you leaving, I started working on the Naylor farm to make money—you know, for the baby and all. Anyway, I had to go into town and pick up some supplies and decided to grab a sandwich for lunch. Kelly was in there with some of her friends. She didn’t see me at first, but as I started walking up to her to see what she was up to, I heard her saying about how we hadn’t slept together yet but that it was only a matter of time, especially since she had you out of the way. That instantly pissed me off, but I managed to keep my cool. Then she said she’d stopped taking her birth control because she wanted to have a baby with the same eyes as my eyes.

  “As soon as she saw my face, she knew I’d heard. Her face got all red and she started bitching at me for sneaking up on her. She even had the nerve to ask if I was following her around, spying on her, as if I was the one doing something wrong. I asked her right there in front of everyone when the appointment was for the baby doctor. You should’ve seen her face then. She stood up and started to pick up her food, but she dropped it because she was all flustered. I asked her friends if they knew she was already pregnant. Then I told her I wanted to go with her to hear the heartbeat and I was going to make the appointment for that afternoon, that I had called the OB office my mom had suggested and they could work her in if we could make it.

  “She called me a bastard and stomped out the door. Her friends ended up telling me how she’d spun the whole plot of setting me up. Of course, I was upset about losing the baby, even though there was never a baby to lose in the first place. I was so angry with her I honestly think I could have knocked her head off and not thought twice about it, and you know how I feel about hitting a woman. The sad part is, I was so damn grateful that I didn’t have to be stuck with her for the rest of my life.

  “Andi, you know I’ve always been a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and maybe this is the way things were supposed to happen for us. Maybe she was meant to shake us up and make us finally talk to each other, you know, tell each other how we feel. We’ll never know for sure, but frankly, it doesn’t really matter. The past is the past, and we can’t change it, but one thing’s for sure—I’ve finally had a taste of you, and I know I don’t ever want to let you go again.” I tilt her chin up and place a long, passionate kiss on her. I think I could get lost in her for the rest of my life and be completely fine with it.

  We finally break our kiss and take a moment to catch our breath.

  “Oh, Ethan, so much time has been lost. I really do hate it, but you’re right, we can’t change the past. I’m glad you and I both finally know how we felt back then, but what do you think about us here and now? Is it too late? How can we make this work when I live in Texas and you live here? I could never ask you to move, no more than you could ask me to come back home. I would never want either of us to regret letting go of what we’re doing. Regret turns to anger, and that’s not something I’m ever willing to let happen.”

  “Whoa, Andi, take a deep breath, okay? Regardless of what we do, I’ll never regret telling you how I feel. As far as here and now, I don’t know what we’re going to do yet, but I know it’s not too late. I can’t tell you it will be easy, but I’m not giving up on us. We may have to keep it a long-distance relationship for a while, but we’ll figure it out as we go—I guess, that is, if you’re willing.”

  Andi nods emphatically. “Yes, of course, I’m willing to try whatever it takes to make us work, Ethan. I don’t regret us either, no matter what, not for a minute. I’ve wanted you for so long, and now I know you feel the same, I’m not letting you go. I want to spend every minute I have with you.” She pulls me into a big hug and holds on tight.

  I place a soft kiss to the top of her head and we sit like this for several minutes, both of us lost in our thoughts about what the future may hold for us and how it’ll work out. I don’t know what we’ll do yet, but I know I want to spend every day with her for the rest of my life—and that still won’t be enough.

  “Good, now, how many days do I have with you?”

  Andi drops her head and quietly says, “I have to leave in a few days.”

  “Hey.” I tilt her face back up. “You don’t need to feel guilty, okay? It was already in motion before we talked. I won’t hold you back, and besides, when we’re finally able to be with each other, I want it to be without any regrets.” That was the whole reason I kept my mouth shut before, and there’s no point in letting all that hurt and wasted time be for nothing. “You still have a few days before you head back, so we can use them to spend as much time together as we can, starting with tonight. Please, stay with me? We don’t have to do anything, I just want to hold you.”

  “You are so sweet, Ethan. Of course I’ll stay.”

  “All right then, I’ll find you something comfy to put on. Or, you know, you could go naked.” I laugh.

  Andi punches my arm and says, “You would love that now, wouldn’t you?” She stands and stretches her hands towards the ceiling, yawning.

  “Of course I would, but then again, it’ll be hard enough to control myself with your clothes on, so I know I wouldn’t be able to without them.” I stand as well, grab her hand, and pull her towards my bedroom. I switch on the light, letting go of her hand to pull one of my long T-shirts from the dresser for her to wear.

  “Will this work for you?”

  “Yeah, it’s fine with me. It’ll be like a nightgown,” Andi says, a big smile on her face. Her smile is so beautiful, with her soft lips and perfect white teeth, her dimples popping out. I love the way those luscious lips taste on mine. Realizing I’m caught up in watching her lips as she’s still smiling at me, I feel my cheeks burn a little bit, and I let out a short
laugh.

  “I’ll let you change here. I’ll change in the restroom and turn everything in the house off.” But first, I want another kiss. I just can’t seem to get enough of this girl, so I walk back to her and place a quick one on her lips. Okay, maybe another. This girl tastes so damn good!

  “Okay, I’ll be right back,” I say with a wink, then hurry out the bedroom door. I hear her giggle as I go into the hall, which puts a big smile on my face. I’m so grateful to have her, but I know it’ll crush me when I have to let her go in a few days. I push the thought of her leaving out of my mind for now. I don’t want to think about it yet; I just want to enjoy her as much as I can before she has to go.

  I change in a hurry, which isn’t hard because I really want to feel her against my skin, so I strip down to my boxer shorts and leave my shirt off. After brushing my teeth quickly, I go around shutting down the house, making a point to lock the front door. If Mom does decide to come home tonight, she has a key of her own, and I sure don’t want anyone else to come in on us. Some of my buddies have been known to just walk on in and make themselves at home, which is no big deal normally. Not tonight though; I don’t want to share Andi with anyone.

  I practically sprint back to my room, back to Andi. I gently knock on the door—no answer. I knock a little louder, but there’s no answer again. I slowly nudge open the door and see Andi lying on the bed, her eyes closed, a small smile on her lips. I knew she was tired, but I didn’t think she was that tired. She looks like an angel; I want to remember this for the rest of my life—my girl, sleeping in my bed. I decide to take a quick picture of her with my phone. Then I send it to her with a message: