Cherishing You

by JoRae Andrews

  Dad picks me up and swirls me around, giving me a big bear hug before placing me back on my feet. “Of course it’s okay with us, sweetheart. I’m so glad to hear you say that. Now, let’s get to the hospital.” The three of us race to the car, and Dad drives us to the hospital.

  I’m getting so sick of this damn room. I make like the hundredth lap around this little ‘consulting’ room. It can’t be much bigger than ten-by-ten. By the time you put the little couch, a stupid-looking chair, and a tiny end table with a lamp on it in here, it can’t really be considered much of a lap, but I’m definitely wearing a pattern into this ridiculous carpet.

  It has to be the ugliest carpet I’ve ever seen. I don’t know why a hospital this big would have a room done up like this, but it’s nuts. Then again, it may be doing its job, if that includes distracting families in times like this. Being as this is a trauma center, I’m sure that’s probably its purpose—make me all pissed off at the room and not the drunk driver who put my mom here. No, not the stupid dumbass who decided it would be okay to drink then put her life—and everyone else’s, for that matter—in danger by climbing behind the wheel of a vehicle and driving on the roadway.

  The police officer who was here when I arrived explained to me that she was a passenger of a vehicle being driven by a middle-aged man who was heavily intoxicated. He lost control and swerved into oncoming traffic. Fortunately, the others involved appear to have only minor injuries—a broken arm for one, another with a few broken ribs.

  The driver has some minor injuries also, which will probably require some stiches. Of course, none of this compares to my mom’s injuries. All I know is she’s alive—that’s it. Oh, and she sustained heavy damage to her body and was rushed into emergency surgery. The only thing the nurse will tell me is to wait until the surgeon comes to the room to talk to me. Then they’ll be able to tell me how bad her injuries are.

  I guess I should be grateful that they gave me a small room to be alone in anyway. As much as this room sucks, it’s still better than the jam-packed waiting room out there at the check-in. I’ve never had any issues with claustrophobia, but I suddenly have a new understanding for people who have that problem; when I was stuck in there with all those people, waiting for someone to tell me where my mom was or if she was even still alive, I was about to go out of my skin. It was so loud, with babies crying, an old lady crying, a toddler throwing a temper tantrum—just a few of the noises I picked out over all the madness.

  Yeah, this room may not be so bad after all. Okay, maybe I should call Andi and give her an update. I hate that I’m not going to be there when she leaves tomorrow. If I could’ve been there instead of Mom going through all this, I’d do it in a heartbeat. At least with Andi leaving I know it’s not that far away, and worst-case scenario I jump on a plane and can see her. Who knows what we’re facing with this accident.

  It doesn’t really matter though; I’ll be here for her every step of the way, and do whatever it takes to get her back on her feet again. She has to be okay; it’s only me and her left. I guess there’s some of my dad’s family alive somewhere in New York or something, but it’s not like I’d know them if they ever showed up around here. I think I had an uncle who came around a little bit when Dad was alive, but not once since his funeral.

  That’s all good though; Mom and I have gotten along without them just fine all these years. As an adult, I figured that if they wanted to see me then they should’ve come around or at least called. So yeah, basically just Mom and me, so her dying just isn’t going to happen. Not yet.

  Maybe I need caffeine, or maybe the damn nurse can come in and give me an update. Hell, maybe I should find the surgery floor and see how she is myself. I mean, I can be patient, but I don’t even know what kind of surgery she’s having. I just want to know what I’m facing; I need to prepare myself. I slam my body down on the couch, my legs sprawled out in front of me. Pressing my head back against the cool concrete wall behind me, I will myself to chill out a little bit.

  I know I’m probably being ridiculous, but this not knowing is driving me crazy. I force myself to close my eyes and try to think back to the last time she and I had a really good talk. You know, besides “hi, bye” chit-chat.

  It’s hard to believe it was only this past Thursday—it seems like weeks have gone by. I guess I’ve been kind of distracted though, the thought bringing a smile to my lips. Mom’s been gone with that dipshit boyfriend of hers since she left that morning. She made us both breakfast and just as we started to sit down and eat, she said she was leaving for a few days with dipshit and would catch up with me when she returned. We had our usual conversation for pretty much the rest of the meal. Then I got ready for work and headed out the door.

  I’m so grateful I had those last few moments with her. The very last thing I said before I went out the door was “I love you, Mom,” as I gave her a quick hug. That’s going to be the first thing I tell her as soon as I get to see her again. I’m going to give her the biggest hug, and after I’m done I’m going to tell her she’s never leaving home with that bastard again.

  Of course, she probably won’t appreciate me bossing her around, but she may as well get used to it. She’s the one who scared the daylights out of me.

  I take a deep breath and try to make myself relax but it just isn’t working, so I get up and start pacing again. That’s it. I feel like I have been in here for forever; someone has to know something by now. I go to the door at the same time someone comes through it.

  “Here you are,” the lady with ‘Tabby’ on her name badge says. “I have some family here asking for you.” She steps aside and there are Andi, Ron and Bev coming in the room. Andi immediately jumps in my arms and I hold her tight, giving her a big hug. Then I quickly remember I was going to try to get an update, so I yell out, “Wait a minute!” Without letting go of Andi, I say, “Please, can you give me some kind of information on my mom yet?”

  “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t know anything about her case. Has no one come to talk with you yet?”

  “No, there hasn’t been a single person. Why, what’s wrong? Please, tell me what’s going on. Please.” I finally let go of Andi and take a couple steps toward Tabby.

  She gives me a gentle smile and says, “Listen, sir, I understand times like this can be very scary, especially when you don’t know what’s going on with your family member. Please know that we’re doing everything we can for her. You see, when a patient comes to this team, it’s more than just a job to them; the staff here put their heart and souls into saving people’s lives, and they don’t give up easily. Now, you sit down and try to relax, and I will see what kind of information I can find out if I can’t get someone in here to talk with you, okay?”

  “Okay, thank you, ma’am. I really appreciate everything you’re doing for her, and me.”

  “You’re welcome. I’ll be right back.” She turns from us and takes off for the nursing station. I really hope she gets back to me soon; I don’t know how much more I can take. I turn around and there’s Andi standing behind me, her face a mix of emotions. I don’t say a word as I take her in my arms and hold her as tight as I can. Then I feel Ron and Bev both wrap their arms around Andi and me.

  I didn’t want to bother anyone with my family problems, but I’m so glad they all came. They’re such amazing people, and they’ve been there for me many times over the years.

  “Son, we didn’t want to intrude on you, but I think we all know you well enough to know you’d never ask for much of anything, let alone support for yourself while this is happening. Whatever’s going on, you shouldn’t have to bear the weight of it on your own. Besides, you’re pretty much family.”

  Ron pats me on the back, and I let go of Andi to wrap him up in a bear hug.

  “You’re right. You guys are my family, and I really appreciate you being here for me and Mom.”

  “We wouldn’t be anywhere else,” Ron says, letting go of me and slapping me on the back.

&n
bsp; “So, you don’t know anything at all yet?” Andi asks, grabbing my hand and holding on for dear life.

  “The only thing I know is that she is alive—or at least she was when she arrived. The hospital has been pretty quiet about telling me really what’s wrong with her. There was a police officer at the nurses’ desk when I went there after coming to this floor. He heard me ask about Mom and he asked to speak with me. A nurse brought us in here, and she told me to just wait after we were done talking.

  “He said Mom was the passenger in a vehicle that was being driven by a drunk driver. He lost control of their car and went into oncoming traffic, hitting another vehicle. I believe that person is her stupid on-again/off-again boyfriend. Anyway, the officer said the driver was fine, minor injuries, and the people in the other vehicle are basically okay also. Everyone except for Mom. Seems like Mom’s pretty bad from the way they acted, and I don’t even know how bad yet. She’s in some kind of emergency surgery.”

  Andi wraps her arm around my waist. “Oh, Ethan, I’m so sorry this has happened. She has to be okay though; she’ll pull through this like it’s nothing. Carrie’s a strong woman. You just need to have faith.”

  She is such an angel. I’m so glad she’s here with me through this, even though I told her not to worry about it. I hope this doesn’t mess up her schedule for Texas. I won’t hold her back, no matter how much I need her by my side.

  “Okay, I think this is probably going to be a while, so Ron, how about we get everyone some coffee? Or would you two want something else?” Bev asks us.

  “Oh, I’m fine Bev, but thank you anyway.”

  “I appreciate it, Mom, but I think I’d like water instead. I don’t really drink coffee much anymore.”

  “Well, that’s better for you anyway. Okay, we’ll be back shortly.” Ron puts his arm across Bev’s shoulders and they both go out to the cafeteria for drinks, closing the door behind them.

  As soon as it shuts, I just want to wrap Andi in my arms, so I grab both her hands and pull her down on the small couch with me. She ends up sitting on my lap sideways, and I hold her tight against me as she wraps her arms around my neck. I take a deep breath, and my nostrils are filled with her amazing scent. I love her so much it hurts. You see, there are three women in my life I have ever loved: my mom, who may not even make it out of surgery; Bev, because how could anyone not love that woman; and Andi, who I’ve loved for many years and, up until now, had been too afraid to admit it.

  Before I realize it, tears spill down my cheeks. The last thing I want is for Andi to see me cry, so I try to swipe them away before she notices.

  “Ethan, it’s okay. You’ve been through a lot of bullshit, and this whole thing with your mom is scary. You’re one of the strongest people I know, but it’s okay if you let go a little. Let it all out now before she gets out of surgery, because after that she’ll need you. I’m here for you, and I’m not going anywhere either. There’s no place else I would rather be than with you, the man I cherish.”

  I hug her to me even tighter and let myself go. She’s right; I do need to let all the anger and fear out now, because Mom will probably need me when she’s awake from surgery. I feel better letting go of it all. After a couple minutes, I wipe my eyes again and look up at her.

  “Thank you, Andi. I love you, baby.” I place my hand on her cheek and pull her face to mine, giving her a gentle kiss.

  “No need to thank me, Ethan; that’s what I’m here for. And I love you more,” she says, then gives me a deeper kiss. She opens her luscious lips for me and I can’t help but dive in, our tongues lost in their own beat. For a few minutes, everything else in the world fades; it’s just me and her, and I’d love nothing else but to lay her down and make love with her.

  Just then, we hear someone clear their throat. We immediately break apart, and I can see she’s just as embarrassed as I am at being caught. She’s so cute with her cheeks all flushed, those delicious lips swollen from our kisses. I look up and see Ron and Bev standing at the door, huge smiles on their faces.

  “You guys can come back in, we’ll behave,” I say, giving Andi a big squeeze. I don’t care if the whole world sees us kissing; I have nothing to hide. But I guess since it’s her parents we should probably be a little respectful and not continue our make-out session.

  They come in, Ron taking a chair while Bev hands us both a bottle of water. We thank her and I immediately open mine, drinking about half of it in one gulp. I guess I was thirstier than I thought.

  Everyone is quiet for a few moments, and I need to know what’s happening. That nurse never did come back, so I’ll do it myself.

  “I think I’m going to go find out something. At least what kind of surgery and how long it’s expected to take.”

  “I can come with you, Ethan.” Andi stands and grabs my hand. “Mom, Dad, we’ll be right back.”

  “Okay, we’ll be here,” Ron says.

  “All right, let’s go.” We find the nurse’s desk and ask about my mom again. It’s not the same nurse as before but she seems nice enough, giving us both a gentle smile and says she’ll call and see what she can find out. She gets on the phone and speaks quietly into the mouthpiece. When she finally hangs up the receiver, she states, “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t have any information at this time. However, the nurse who was with you before is in the surgical area now and will be with you shortly.”

  “Does that mean she’s still in surgery? That she’s still alive?”

  “Yes, sir, it appears that way.”

  “Come on, Ethan. Let’s go back to the consult room and wait. There’s nothing else we can do right now.”

  “You’re probably right. I just want to know what’s going on is all.” With that, I put my arm around Andi and give her a tight hug. Then we walk hand in hand back to the room, telling Ron and Bev when we get there that we still don’t know anything.

  “Well, it may take a while. Just try to relax,” Bev says.

  We sit down on the chair, Andi in my lap. I don’t mind; I’d hold her for the rest of my life if I could. She lies back on my chest and I welcome the weight of her little body. It feels good to hold her.

  We sit here like this for a while, making occasional conversation; mostly everyone is quiet as another hour passes. I feel like it’s been an eternity, but I know it’s probably just impatience. I’m trying to keep all the ‘what ifs’ at bay when there’s a knock on the door, and then the nurse pokes her head in.

  “I’m so sorry it’s as taken me this long to get back here. I just wanted to tell you she’s still in surgery, but they’re wrapping up now. She’s in critical condition, but I don’t know anything more other than the surgeon will come talk to you as soon as possible.”

  “Thank you so much. I really appreciate you letting me know.”

  “No problem, good luck to you all.” She closes the door, and Andi turns back around and gives me a big hug.

  “See, I told you she’d come out okay. She’s too strong to be held down long.” She gives me a quick kiss on my cheek.

  “You were right, sweetie. I’m so grateful for her stubborn personality.”

  We sit for another half hour before the doctor finally comes in. Now that he’s here, I’m so nervous my heart is about to beat out of my chest.

  “Hi, I’m Dr. Stevens. I was the lead surgeon for Mrs. Paul. She came into the emergency room with significant injuries to the right side of her body, including her right lung. She has multiple broken bones, including her ribs, pelvis, femur, and arm, and her liver also sustained some damage, which we had to repair. Most of her injuries will heal okay on their own, but we’ll watch her very closely for the next twenty-four hours. Right now, it’s a wait-and-see game. Once she wakes up, we’ll see how much of her neurological function is intact. Until then, we won’t know. I know I’ve given you a lot to think about all at once, but do you have any questions for me?”

  “Uh, to be honest, I don’t know. I’m sure I will soon, but for now, can I
see her?”

  “Yes, you can, but minimal stimulation is best until she wakes up. She’s in the recovery room now, but it could be quite a while before she’ll wake. Her body has taken a beating, and sometimes our brain protects our psyche by closing itself off, more commonly known as a coma-like state.”

  “How long do you think it’ll be before she wakes up?”

  “Well, that’s a good question, but we really don’t know. It could be as soon as the medications from surgery wear off, or it could take quite some time. Like I said, the next twenty-four hours are going to be crucial to her recovery, so unfortunately we’re in the wait-and-see stage.”

  “Okay, thank you, Doctor. I appreciate everything you’ve done for her.”

  “You’re welcome, sir. Also, be aware that she has multiple tubes and machines hooked up to her, which will be removed as she resumes function. I just want you to be as prepared as possible for what you’ll see when you get in there.”

  He shakes all of our hands then leaves the room, stating a nurse will take us to see Mom in a few minutes. I don’t even know what to think about everything he just said, but it doesn’t matter what her injuries are as long as she’s alive. She’s stubborn enough to fight for the rest; of this, I have no doubt.

  The nurse comes in and says Mom’s in the ICU, and we can see her two at a time. Ron and Bev say they’ll let us go back with her while they go to the cafeteria to get fresh coffees.

  I want to be there for Ethan, but I don’t want to intrude on the moment either, so I’m a little torn wondering if I should go with him or not. He must feel my hesitation, because he glances back at me with a questioning look on his face.