Cherishing You

by JoRae Andrews

  I wake up and just lie there; I don’t want to get up and face this day. I don’t want it to be Sunday, and I sure as hell don’t want Ethan to be at the hospital with his mom, fighting for her life. I don’t want to feel like he doesn’t want me anymore, like he’s forcing me to go back to Texas and start this wonderful new job. Well, it won’t be wonderful, because he won’t be there. He won’t be in Texas, waiting for me when I get off work so I can tell him how much I love it, or hate it.

  I want to be here, with Ethan. With Mom and Dad and everyone else I grew up with. I know most people would kill for the opportunity I’ve been given, a chance at starting off my career in a top-notch business. Too bad I couldn’t care less about it, or Texas for that matter. Right now, all I want is to get dressed as fast as I can and get back to the hospital to be there for Carrie, and for Ethan. But he doesn’t want me there; he made that perfectly clear last night . . . didn’t he?

  His words are still ringing in my head. I never thought he’d push me away like this. I mean, when we got in the argument after graduation, it sucked, but this? This is hurting way worse, and I didn’t think that was possible before. Why did I let him get that close to me? Ugh! I’m so stupid.

  It all makes me firing mad. Who is he to tell me to go back to Texas? That’s complete bullshit. I bet he thinks he’s holding me back, but it’s still bull. If this is how he thinks this relationship is going to go then he has another thing coming. I’m completely capable of making my own decisions. Hell, I would think I’ve proven that, having been on my own these last four years. I didn’t need him to decide for me then, and I don’t need it now.

  I pull the covers over my head and take a deep breath. I wish it were all so simple, to just hide under the blanket and go back to sleep, escaping for a while longer. But I know burying my head in the sand won’t make the problems go away any more than running from them. I need to get up and make some official decisions.

  I stretch out all my limbs one by one, deciding I need a long, hot shower. Of course, I should probably run first considering I haven’t run the whole time I’ve been home, but eh, I think I’ll take the shower instead. I pull back the covers just as I hear a knock on my door.

  “Yeah?” I call out.

  “Andi, it’s me. Can I come in?” Ethan calls from the other side of my bedroom door. Eekkkk! What is he doing here? He should be at the hospital. I look down at myself, and I know my eyes have to be puffy.

  I’m a wreck. I can’t let him see me like this.

  “Andi, please, open the door. I know you just woke up, and I don’t care what you look like. You’re always beautiful to me. I really need to tell you something, okay? Can I come in?”

  I’m surprised he hasn’t barged in yet—after all, the door’s unlocked. I wait a few more seconds before I start to worry if it’s bad news about Carrie.

  “Come in, Ethan, it’s fine.”

  He immediately opens the door. Running to my bed, where I’m still lying, he scoops me up and gives me the biggest bear hug.

  “She woke up, Andi! She finally woke up!” He grabs my face with both of his hands and lands a hard kiss on my lips. Almost as quickly, he releases my mouth and gives me another tight squeeze.

  “Oh, that’s so awesome! I’m so glad to hear that. Is she doing okay? Does she know what happened? Or why she got in the car with him?” I know I’m babbling, but I can’t seem to help it; my emotions are all over the place.

  “She actually hasn’t talked much, but they’ve removed the tube. She’s very tired still, and her throat is raw from the tube. I could tell she’s in a lot of pain still, so I told her to try to sleep. The nurse brought her something for the pain and she was back out. I’m sorry I woke you up, I was just so happy I wanted to come tell you in person.”

  “I’m so glad you did; I’ve been really worried about her. You didn’t wake me up though, so don’t feel bad about it. I was just going to grab a shower.”

  “Oh . . . If we were anywhere but here, I’d be more than happy to help you with that shower.” Ethan flashes me an evil grin, and my heart flips in my chest.

  This guy is driving me crazy. Five minutes ago I was all pissed off at him, and now I’m a puddle at his feet. I guess that’s part of being in love, but I still don’t know what I’m going to do, and I can’t figure it out with him tugging on my emotions like this.

  Although, the thought of being wrapped up in his arms under the hot, steamy water sounds ah-maz-ing!

  He must’ve been reading my mind again, because he lets out a little chuckle.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “You were just thinking how good it’ll feel to take a shower together. I could see it on your face, Andi.” My cheeks start burning. “Oh, baby, there’s absolutely nothing to be embarrassed by. I’ve been thinking about it too, and I would love nothing more than to feel your soft skin pressed against mine. The things I’m going to do to you? Damn, girl.”

  Okay, so I think I just soaked my panties. I turn towards him and put my hands behind his head, pulling him down for a kiss as I lie back. He doesn’t hesitate to climb into the bed and on top of me, holding most of his weight on his elbows. Our kiss deepens even more; I feel like it’s been an eternity since we last touched and I want it all. I can’t seem to get enough.

  Just as we break for air, I hear Mom yell from downstairs.

  “Hey, you two, breakfast is ready.”

  We’re both panting from the heat of the moment and trying to catch our breath. Well, if that wasn’t a reality check . . .

  As my breathing finally slows, I call out, thanking her. I’m pretty sure if I didn’t then she’d be standing at my open doorway, catching us like this. And while I’m an adult, I still wouldn’t want to disrespect her like that.

  “As much as I don’t want this to end, I really don’t want her coming up here to get us.”

  “She probably wouldn’t mind, since we still have our clothes on,” Ethan says with a quick laugh.

  “Uh, speak for yourself there, buddy. Maybe I only have this tank top on.” I can’t help but giggle when he growls and nips at my neck.

  “Okay, let’s get going; otherwise, I’m going to devour you right here, and I want us to be completely alone when that happens.” Ethan stands and pulls me off the bed. Once I let the blanket fall and he finally looks down, he lets out a big breath I didn’t even realize he was holding.

  “Thank God you have those on, baby.”

  “You really know how to make a girl feel special,” I say, wrapping my arms around his waist as I lay my head on his chest. I inhale deeply, enjoying his signature smell.

  “Only you, sweetheart. You’re the only girl I care about.”

  “All right, I’m going to brush my teeth. You go on down to the kitchen before Mom sends the cavalry.”

  He gives me a small peck on my forehead and heads downstairs. I hear him and Mom chatting, so I quickly shower and brush my teeth. I throw on some clothes and run the brush through my hair, electing to pull it into a quick braid down the side, so it won’t be in my way later.

  When I come down the stairs and into the kitchen, Ethan and Mom are sitting at the table, chatting quietly. I’m not sure what they’re talking about, because they quickly change subjects when I enter the room. As if that wasn’t obvious.

  “What’s going on, guys?”

  Mom stands and starts putting food on the table. She calls Dad and he comes in from outside. No one says anything to me.

  “Uh, hello? What’s up, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong, Andi,” Ethan says, standing and walking over to me. He places a quick kiss on my cheek. “Come on, let’s sit down to eat.”

  “Okay, but I know something’s up. What is it?”

  “It’s really okay, just a difference of opinion is all. Nothing major, right, Bev?”

  “No, I guess not. It doesn’t mean I have to like it though.”

  “What is it?” I ask

  “Yeah, wh
at’s going on, Bev?” Dad chimes in.

  “It’s really okay, dear. I just have my own opinion, but this is between Ethan and Andi. Now, let’s make our plates and go into the living room. You guys stay here, eat breakfast, and work all this out. I love you both always, but I do request you figure this out today. Keep open minds.”

  Clearly, this isn’t open for suggestions. She makes plates for her and Dad, and they head into the living room. I have a feeling this is about what’s been brewing since I got back to town. Do I stay or go? Are we making this work, or are we letting go?

  I don’t say anything at first, just sit down and put a couple things on my plate. Mom always makes a big breakfast. “It’s the most important meal of the day,” she says.

  After taking a few bites, I finally look up at Ethan, who’s watching me silently. I decide he needs to be the one to speak up and tell me what’s going on, so I just sit there and eat. Even though I know it’s good because Mom made it, I can’t tell you what it tastes like because I’m so nervous. It can’t be good if Mom is disagreeing.

  Ethan puts his fork down and clears his throat.

  “Andi, I know we haven’t had much time together since last night, what with everything that happened with Mom, and for that, I’m really sorry. It was definitely not how I pictured it would go. I was also rough on you last night, but I knew you wouldn’t go home and rest if I wasn’t.”

  “I should’ve been there with you, by your side. You were shitty. I know you were doing what you thought was best for me, but you really weren’t. I wanted to be there for you, but you didn’t want me there. Once again, things got hard and you pushed me away. Only it wasn’t as your friend this time; it was as someone you’d just confessed your love to just a few hours before. Not to mention you talked to me like I was a child in front of my parents—who, by the way, have bent over backwards to be there for you, yet you pushed them away too.”

  I know I’m getting worked up, and fighting with Ethan is the last thing I want to do, but I’m like a runaway train and I can’t seem to get back on track.

  Ethan doesn’t say anything for a few awkward moments, and I really feel like an ass now. The guy’s been through Hell and back in the past twelve hours, and here I’m being a bitch about it.

  “Look, Ethan, I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I know how scary everything was, and still is, with your mom. The last thing I need to be doing is busting your chops about it, and I don’t want to fight with you.”

  “I don’t want to fight with you either, Andi. I know I hurt you, and like I already said, that’s not what I was going for. However, you still—”

  “Don’t tell me I need to go back to Texas again.”

  “But you do. Now, I’m sorry if that makes you mad, but you have a great opportunity from what I hear, and I won’t be the reason you miss it. No regrets, remember? We’ve wasted too much time regretting what we should’ve done, and I won’t spend the rest of our lives together with you wondering ‘what if.’”

  “Ethan, it isn’t your decision to make. I’d already decided this is what I want for me. I’ve been weighing the options ever since I came home. Yes, you’re figured in with it, but I have many reasons why I want to move back home, including being around my family and the shop.”

  “Andi, you have to at least try this job. If you don’t like it then move home.”

  “But what if I do like it? Then the decision will be that much harder. Listen, I know I want to be around Mom and Dad. I also want to be close to you. If I’ve regretted anything at all, it’s that I didn’t come home and visit. I have lost so much time with everyone around here that I don’t want to lose anymore.”

  “Andi, I understand that, I really do, but you can come home on the weekends. You can visit holidays and take vacations as soon as they’re available, and I’ll come up as much as I can. I’m definitely not breaking up with you. I don’t want to lose you, and I don’t want to spend one day without you, but I can’t let you give up on your dreams so we can be together every day. I won’t be that selfish. I love you, Andi.”

  Ethan comes around to my side of the table and pulls me into a hug. I can’t seem to stop the tears from spilling down my cheeks. If he isn’t breaking up with me, why does it feel like he’s trying to get rid of me? I know it’s not what he means and I’m probably overreacting, but it hurts just the same.

  “Oh, baby, please don’t cry. I don’t want to hurt you, I’m so sorry.” Ethan presses his lips to the top of my head; I wrap my arms around him and hold on tight. I understand why he’s doing this, I just don’t want to go. I should be here with him, helping take care of Carrie while she heals. I could fill in for him at the shop with Dad when he needs days off. I could do so many things, but he’s right, I guess.

  We stay like this for several minutes. I don’t want to let go of him, but he probably hasn’t had any sleep. I finally dry my eyes, stand up, and give him a tight hug.

  “Come on, let’s go lie down in my room. I’m sure you haven’t slept at all.”

  “Not much, but we need to get you all packed. I was planning on going with you to make sure you didn’t have any trouble, but then this all happened with Mom.”

  “I don’t expect you to leave her right now, Ethan. I know she needs you.”

  “I know you wouldn’t, baby. That’s just one of the many reasons I love you,” he says, right before he gives me a breathtaking kiss. I don’t know how I’m going to stand being away from him.

  “Everything okay in here?” Mom asks as she and Dad come back into the room.

  “Well, at least they seem to still be on talking terms,” Dad jokes.

  We break off our kiss and both laugh.

  “So, I take it you guys worked everything out?” Mom asks, eyeing us. I know she can tell I was crying.

  “I guess we did, even though I don’t like it one bit,” I say out loud. I don’t mean to sound bitter, but I really don’t want to go. “Ethan feels that I should give this opportunity a try so I won’t regret it. So apparently I’m going to give it a shot. I’ll be back to visit as much as possible though. I promise it won’t be like last time.”

  “Andi, I’m glad you have such a fine man who is willing to let you go to help you be happy. Ethan, I know how much this affects you too, and I’m proud of you, son,” Dad says, and then he comes over and hugs us both.

  “Thank you, sir. Now, Andi needs to get packing and she offered for me to take a nap, so I think I’m going to do that after I call the hospital and check on Mom.” He gives me a quick peck on my head and releases me. Thanking Mom for breakfast, he goes upstairs, his cell phone already to his ear.

  “Are you sure you’re okay with all of this, Andi?”

  “Yeah, Mom, I guess I have to give it a try. But like I said, I’ll be back before you know it.”

  I give them each a quick hug then head upstairs myself.

  I called the hospital, and Mom’s nurse says she’s doing about the same. She’s resting, which is the best thing she can do right now. I stretch out on Andi’s bed; I don’t want to fall asleep because I don’t want to lose a single minute of time with her. I hate that she’s leaving today, and I worry about her driving that far then having to be at her new job first thing in the morning. She isn’t going to have the day to rest as she had originally planned as it is.

  She comes into the room and smiles at me. This girl seriously has the prettiest smile I’ve ever seen. “Don’t move a muscle,” I tell her, quickly pulling out my phone and snapping a picture of her. I want to have a current pic to add under her name, so when we talk over the phone I can at least see her face.

  “Come here, baby.” She comes over and curls up against me. I wrap my arms around her and tell her again how much I really do love her. I know she doesn’t want to go, but I won’t take the chance of her hating me later for not doing it. I haven’t told her yet, but if she does decide she likes it there, I’m going to take some time off and go see her, after Mom is back
on her feet. I might even look for a job in the area so I can move there with her.

  I don’t know what’s going to happen yet, so I guess I’ll just have to wait and see. All I know is I’m ready to have it all figured out.

  Apparently, I dozed off because I wake up and the room is quiet. Opening my eyes, I see I’m alone. The light is turned off and Andi is nowhere to be seen. Pulling out my phone, I see her beautiful smile as soon as I unlock it and decide this needs to be my background screen; that way, I can see those gorgeous lips smiling at me every time I look at my phone. I check the time and realize I’ve been out for several hours.

  Shit. I quickly call the hospital and check on Mom. Same thing basically, except she woke up a couple more times. She seems to be tolerating breathing on her own, and they should be able to leave the breathing tube out, which is great news.

  I jump out of bed and quickly look around; it looks like Andi’s all packed up since I don’t see her luggage bags by the dresser anymore. My heart starts beating fast. I really hope she didn’t leave without saying good-bye. Surely she wouldn’t do that, would she? I know she wasn’t happy about our decision, but she seemed okay when we lay down to take a nap.

  I run downstairs. Taking a quick look around, not seeing anyone, I head outside. I take a deep breath when I see Andi’s car is still here. Okay, she didn’t leave yet. So where is everyone?

  I decide to check the barn, where I hear them talking and laughing. I open the door and walk in, seeing all three of them by the Mustang. Andi was shocked to learn her dad’s actually been racing some with me, but she didn’t know what to think about this car being hers.

  “I really hope I can make it back in time to watch you and Ethan do some racing. You never know, I may even run against you someday.”

  “I hope you do, honey, but if not, you know your mom will be recording it all.”

  “If something happens and I can’t get here in time, will you please send it to me?”

  “Of course, Andi. You know it,” Bev agrees.

  “I’ll record some too, and send it to you with messenger,” I tell her as I walk up and give her a quick hug. She turns around and hugs me back, then reaches up and gives me a small peck on the cheek.